Hillary's Horcruxes

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ChristopherRobin: Feb 27, 2011; Corgis with attitude.

Skyl3lazer posted:

As we all know, Hillary Rodham Clinton is responsible for the deaths of at least 5 people. I believe that she has used these deaths plus her own dark magic to secure her everlasting reign of terror in the form of several Horcruxes.

So, where did she put pieces of her soul?

Possibilities:

1) Bill Clinton - It would explain his degeneration and inability to speak anything but evil phrases. Also we know you can put Horcruxes in living beings but I'm unsure if you can put them in Humans.
2) A Cassette Tape containing the recordings of her paid speeches - Could explain why she doesn't want to admit this item exists???
3) A replica of Salazar Slytherine's locket purchased from a June 2005 issue of DeltaSky Magazine - Seems unlikely but she doesn't actually seem all that creative so it would make sense.

There are at least two others, so what are they? Where might she be hiding the small pieces of her soul? We're just asking questions here.

Also note this is NOT a thread for planning the destruction of said horcruxes, we don't want the FBI or Ministry shutting down another political comedy forum

Why do I imagine your voice sounding like what I imagine the malkavian from VTMB would sound like?

Anyway, one of her horcruxes is obviously Trump's hair, because she knows it will be closely guarded. As evidenced by his slow descent into madness.

# ? Apr 27, 2016 21:33

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# ? May 12, 2024 22:24

Peztopiary: Mar 16, 2009; by exmarx

She's the American Baba Yaga, so she probably went old school. Her phylactery (you loving children goddamn) is in a stone in a bird in a fox whose location is stored in a box in Panama.

# ? Apr 27, 2016 22:25

ChristopherRobin: Feb 27, 2011; Corgis with attitude.

Peztopiary posted:

She's the American Baba Yaga, so she probably went old school. Her phylactery (you loving children goddamn) is in a stone in a bird in a fox whose location is stored in a box in Panama.

Phylacteries are garbage because you can only have one.

# ? Apr 28, 2016 00:23

Quiet Feet: Dec 14, 2009; THE HELL IS WITH THIS ASS!?

ChristopherRobin posted:

Phylacteries are garbage because you can only have one.

You know what you do if you're smart? Take a shimmering crystal, bring it to a crypt full of unspeakable horrors and set it on a heavily trapped pedestal behind a thick iron door. Make that door your phylactery.

# ? Apr 28, 2016 00:30

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

Please don't forget about Ron Brown

# ? Apr 28, 2016 00:35

The Kingfish: Oct 21, 2015

Quiet Feet posted:

You know what you do if you're smart? Take a shimmering crystal, bring it to a crypt full of unspeakable horrors and set it on a heavily trapped pedestal behind a thick iron door. Make that door your phylactery.

What if they destroy the door to get to the crystal?

# ? Apr 28, 2016 00:54

Lord of Pie: Mar 2, 2007

Skyl3lazer posted:

TODO: Investigate if wizards can store magic on the internet. Maybe horcruxes in missing emails? Can you email a horcrux, download as attachment?

# ? Apr 28, 2016 01:46

Quiet Feet: Dec 14, 2009; THE HELL IS WITH THIS ASS!?

The Kingfish posted:

What if they destroy the door to get to the crystal?

You'd need to hide the key somewhere they'd be sure to find it. In a big, important chest guarded by terrible monsters.

# ? Apr 28, 2016 01:50

Relin: Oct 6, 2002; You have been a most worthy adversary, but in every game, there are winners and there are losers. And as you know, in this game, losers get robotizicized!