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Ahundredbux posted:Help, op, I bought a bunch of smaller slimes for my dungeon and now they're combining into a single larger slime Letting the slimes unionize is a rookie dungeon keeper mistake. Either give them that pay raise and health benefits, or hire some jellies to do their job.
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May 5, 2016 11:37
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Ahundredbux posted:Help, op, I bought a bunch of smaller slimes for my dungeon and now they're combining into a single larger slime
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May 5, 2016 11:40
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I think op is actually a slime and he's selling off portions of himself in order to have a larger area of coverage for when he finally decides to consume the countryside.
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May 5, 2016 11:59
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Wait, is this a real violet slime or did you just mix a red and blue slime together? don't gently caress me on this
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May 5, 2016 12:16
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BigwigML posted:slimes and jellies don't really do it for me, and I was wondering... I mean, this is embarrassing... but do you happen to have any... any blobs? GET THE gently caress OUT OF HERE read the sign on the door? says "We don't serve elves or blob aficionados" love it or leave it, freak 
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May 5, 2016 12:58
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Zorodius posted:Wait, is this a real violet slime or did you just mix a red and blue slime together? don't gently caress me on this if you mix red and blue slime you actually get magenta slime, not violet. true violet slime can't be replicated without a full six-color sliming process. check your slime with our handy color wheel samples to be sure. for more information and the best range of slime colors, visit your authorized Slimetone™ dealer. Now featuring our 2016 Slime of the Year, Oxblood Red!
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May 5, 2016 13:18
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*married Lich couple standing in front of the Slime Color Sample kiosk in their local Dungeon Depot, the wife cant decide between Eggshell White or Creme Fraiche*
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May 5, 2016 13:39
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NOW THATS WHAT I CALL A STICKY SITUATION 
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May 5, 2016 14:15
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2 Nerf Oozinators, please.
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May 5, 2016 14:26
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I have a client, weirdo enchanter trying to set up a Wizard's tower in the South Umbral Woods.. Ya, I know, I told him that it's a stupid idea too but the guy read that latest "Mages of Ryrel" book and now he's just GOT to have his own disheveled wizard's tower in the cursed woods just like The Mage of Osris. So here we are stuck building the thing off his blue prints which won't work, even with magic forces holding up dilapidated stone walls, so we've had the Count's inspectors up our rear end from day 1. Anyhow, we're setting up a super deep basement to provide some "sunk space" to keep this fuckin tower on balance near the creek because otherwise this thing is just gonna topple over come the Rains of Gilderhurst, took 3 months of arguing to get him to let us do this, but the issue now is he wants it made in to a dungeon. Due to the seeping moisture and the sheer amount of rodents and goblins in the Umbral Forest we're gonna need some slimes in this thing just to keep them from buildings nests and damaging the mortar work. OK, but here's the kicker, they HAVE to be resistant to fire. And maybe two or three miniboss strength ones who are outright immune Uh huh, I know that's not cheap, I told this guy that nothing about this stupid loving tower would be and he's fronted 500 gold pieces and two standard chests full of Dragon's Tear Sapphires for the dungeon budget though, must have a fuckin trust fund right? No Enchanter makes that much on his own. 5 silver says his dad's a fuckin Uthelm Crusader and all of this cash is from the sacking of Jilahalm or some other poor Eastern fiefdom. Any how, these slimes need to be fireproof because This Enchanter has a crazy ex that's a Pyromancer and her new guy is supposedly a Red Dragon Knight so we need to go as Asbestos heavy as we can with his minions on this one. I figure 8 cubes, 22 "splitter" slimes and 3 Goo-Golems . Alright, yeah, I told him that this much of his dungeon budget was gonna have to go to slimes, he's not gonna freak out about the bill for this part, atleast. I'll send my apprentice down with a couple of carts to get the cubes and slimes, but we're gonna need delivery for the Golems, just charge that to our business account we'll just include it in the incidentals on the final bill for this guy. Oh wait, before I hang up, do you guys have any necromancers or summoners you recommend for Bone-Elementals? Got another client coming up who's gonna need a few and Walter at the U-Summon is closing up shop next week because his kids got the undeath-plague and he needs to burn em.
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May 5, 2016 14:38
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Do you guys have any of those miniature slimes that, like, can fit inside traveller's pouches? As an independent sorcerer I get hired to go on quests with adventurers a lot and I'd hate to leave my little moochie poochie at home. My friend has one and she keeps it on this new vegetarian diet where she only feeds it myconids and treants. She says that humans have too much fat content and bad for slimes. She probably like read that on Sorcerers Weekly cause she's so dumb. Like she always gets romanced by any low level adventurer that comes to our town and asks her to join their little silly group. She's such a slut. But don't tell her I said that.
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May 5, 2016 15:44
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TiaraChandelier posted:Do you guys have any of those miniature slimes that, like, can fit inside traveller's pouches? As an independent sorcerer I get hired to go on quests with adventurers a lot and I'd hate to leave my little moochie poochie at home. Uh, have you looked into just purchasing a slug?
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May 5, 2016 16:39
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super macho dude posted:GET THE gently caress OUT OF HERE CAN YOU READ THIS? IT SAYS BLOBS NOT WELCOME. 
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May 6, 2016 00:27
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I'm a bit of a noob, what's the difference between a slime, a pudding, and a jelly? Is it consistency? Or is it one of those "all puddings are slimes but not all slimes are puddings" type classification things?
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May 6, 2016 00:46
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DrManiac posted:I'm a bit of a noob, what's the difference between a slime, a pudding, and a jelly? Puddings are delicious desserts. Slimes are living beings with dreams and aspirations. Your question disgusts me.
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May 6, 2016 01:00
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The majestic black pudding (and the even more majestic elder black pudding) is an endangered creature and hunting it for food is absolutely deplorable. To answer the other guy's question: it's the texture. Slimes are usually shiny and translucent. Puddings are thicker and more viscous. You can usually notice a slime unless it's hiding, but a pudding can just lie there blending in. If you want a good "catch-all" word, it's Ooze. A jelly, well, you can't just classify a jelly and put it in a box, jellies do their own thing. Sometimes that thing involves a box and you get a cube. But it's their choice.
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May 6, 2016 01:22
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Do you have any slimes I could ride to work?
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May 6, 2016 14:12
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Blurry Gray Thing posted:The majestic black pudding (and the even more majestic elder black pudding) is an endangered creature and hunting it for food is absolutely deplorable. not only do they eat em, but its such a common food its a breakfast staple with toast and beans. gently caress britain the wrath of nature was a bit misguided when australia got the aquified slime problem lol. you can just be digging in your garden and BAM, a ton of goo comes bursting out to drag you underground. gently caress australia too Kikka fucked around with this message at 14:38 on May 6, 2016 |
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May 6, 2016 14:35
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PSSST for this baby shoggoth. You don't want to miss this deal (keep this on the down-low)
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May 6, 2016 14:55
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Hey OP, I'm looking for a '77 series devourer of worlds, I'd prefer something in abyss black if possible as it goes with my upholstery. I know that formless horrors aren't strictly slimes but any leads you could give me would be much appreciated.
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May 6, 2016 14:57
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FoldOgey posted:PSSST That's not a Shoggoth. That's a black pudding covered in jawbreakers and glow in the dark vampire teeth.
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May 6, 2016 15:10
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Blurry Gray Thing posted:That's not a Shoggoth. That's a black pudding covered in jawbreakers and glow in the dark vampire teeth. to be fair thats how shoggoths are categorized by pretty much everyone. black pudding = shoggoth orb of eyes = shoggoth bristle slime = shoggoth choco pudding with whipped cream = shoggoth
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May 6, 2016 15:13
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Blurry Gray Thing posted:That's not a Shoggoth. THIS is a Shoggoth [/Crocodile Dundee]
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May 6, 2016 15:15
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its funny when a mould or some other piece of poo poo small breed flips its filae at you, but imagine if a boulder slime or an elephant foot did that to someone. theyd lose their loving minds
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May 6, 2016 15:20
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I've developed a potion that can make any slime firm enough so you can successfully hug it. Patent pending of course. Would you be interested in stocking my product? Make sure the potion doesn't get on anything else though, there are... side effects.
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May 6, 2016 15:27
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Toadvine posted:Do you have any slimes I could ride to work? Can you even domesticate slimes for conveyance? I'm running kinda late guys...
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May 6, 2016 15:28
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Toadvine posted:Can you even domesticate slimes for conveyance? I'm running kinda late guys... You can! read up on green knight slimes (limus draco eques) 
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May 6, 2016 15:39
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Is there a slime I can stick my dick into without getting it melted off? Asking for a friend.
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May 6, 2016 15:47
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Bit of a specialist request, this one - but do you think you would be able to source an Agar Aguardian? Don't try to fob me off with Electroblobbies or anything of that ilk, I'm not your average punter.
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May 6, 2016 15:50
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Applewhite posted:Is there a slime I can stick my dick into without getting it melted off? Asking for a friend. You can't get a slime that's neutral, they need that acidity to digest things. You should definitely check the PH of your slime regularly though. That slime you thought was extremely acidic could actually be extremely basic. Definitely don't let an acidic and a basic slime mate, they'll cancel each other out and you're gonna end up with a gross puddle of water filled with salts. 100 HOGS AGREE fucked around with this message at 15:56 on May 6, 2016 |
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May 6, 2016 15:53
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Applewhite posted:Is there a slime I can stick my dick into without getting it melted off? Asking for a friend. Tell your friend to wear a latex condom (NOT lambskin). He should be able to finish before the condom is digested.
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May 6, 2016 15:56
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I am looking for a few small, self-replicating jellies or splitters for use in a back alley implant business I am starting up. They should be fairly viscous, transparent, and ideally low-acid to avoid the need for bagging. Please respond promptly as I have several clients lined up already.
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May 6, 2016 16:44
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Im looking for nanomachines. Machines are inherently better than slimes. Tell me one thing nanomachines cant so?
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May 6, 2016 16:46
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As a Skeleton King (also known as a Lich), I am in charge of a mid-level dungeon. However I need more than just undead to keep my guests entertained while they come to fight me. Most slimes seem to be low level; not enough to interest an adventurer who can handle zombie sorcerers and skeleton knights. Do you have any mid-level slimes? Also, an associate of mine has been talking about some sort of new slime that can turn into women. What the gently caress is up with that? Are they those hosed up Japanese slimes that I keep hearing about in those animays that people watch? If so I might have to sever all ties with said associate.
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May 6, 2016 16:49
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E Equals MC Hammer posted:Im looking for nanomachines. Machines are inherently better than slimes. Tell me one thing nanomachines cant so? I thought that they started regulating those after the Patriots went down. Slimes are way more affordable and don't have nearly as much legal bullshit. Also they tend to stay the gently caress out of your blood. Don't get me wrong, nanomachines are cool, but they can't replace slimes, at least not on the market.
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May 6, 2016 16:53
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I'm going to suggest adding a little food coloring or dye to your slime day one. I got my kid a slime 3 weeks ago, not realizing the drat thing is translucent. I lost 4 pairs of boots stepping in it before I thought to add some coloration. Best bet is to break open a couple glowsticks and pour them in the little guy so you know where he is at night, but this can be costly over time so any suggestions on a more permanent light source would be appreciated.
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May 6, 2016 17:26
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I'm going out with the evil sorceress of Skullcrack Vale again tonight, and I know the third date might be a little early for this, but we've hit it off quite well and I'd like to surprise her with a slime. Do you have any slimes in stock that would be classy enough to take to a fancy restaurant, but casual enough for visiting the Torturous Pits of Despair afterwards? I'm also not sure what she'll be wearing, so a slime that coordinates well with a variety of styles and colors of evening gowns/spiked leather armor would be a plus. Thanks! edit: Pretty sure she's immune to acid damage, but not 100% on that.
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May 6, 2016 18:06
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I'm always happy when an evil wizard usurps the kingdoms because it always means that the contractors like me who build dungeons, towers and lairs always get huge tax breaks and that increases Neutral and Evil magic users who can afford to build their very own places of unspeakable magic and what not. But I also like it when the evil wizard loses control of the kingdom because all the adventures questing to destroy these new lairs means the resale market is non-existent by the time the next evil wizard starts running the show so I can build new fortresses of evil. It's a cycle and you have to vote accordingly no matter what those hippy rear end elves tell you
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May 6, 2016 18:11
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does Rover count as a slime? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6Ffr1U7KMY
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May 6, 2016 18:25
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Working for different kinds of wizards teaches you things. Like anyone who calls themselves "A Magus" is always a huge tool. They're the ones who change the friggin floorplan 4 times a week when you're already building and then throw a huge fit when you try to explain that the base isn't large enough to support the weight of the extra floors of their tower, but force you to do it anyway and then try to take you to court when the king's inspectors condemn the building a few months later. Enchanters are either pretending to be rich and trying to glamour you in to accepting their credit (this is why you always use +5 or more Safety Helmets with resistances to illusions and abjuration, btw). Then you wake up a few days after completion realizing you just did a job for 30 pieces of gold and a few shovels full of coal you were convinced in to thinking were rubies. Necromancers just want to gently caress corpses. I've heard every excuse in the book but all of them want an entire floor of their lair covered in cuddle pillows and shag carpet, but need atleast 4 cages to hold carrion crows to clean the carpets. They're not fooling anyone. And sorcerers bring in idiot interior decorators every fuckin time that just come up with new ways to increase their budget at the cost of yours. No one needs wood from the Ark of Goram as their loving fireplace mantle! Warlocks are alright, though. They just want stone floors, summoning rings, heavy reinforced walls and a few traps. They never try to act like they're better at your job than you are and just go with the estimate. Thats why I told my nephew at the Utica College of Magic to major in Warlock, they're the oly ones who got any brains, ya know?
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May 6, 2016 19:06
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