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City of Tampa posted:"street muggers" seems like it should be a racist term. Maybe it's the double-G Street muggas
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May 6, 2016 04:22
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Just smash his face in with your tree trunk sized leg if you're a true gentlemen.
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May 6, 2016 05:03
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When you're getting mugged just look over the guy's shoulder like there's someone behind him and ask him "Well then who is he?" while pointing behind him. Use this time to run or grab his knife/gun.
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May 6, 2016 05:44
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poo poo your pants
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May 6, 2016 05:50
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Start dancing like a fool and yell "don't stab me, I'll stab me!"
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May 6, 2016 05:53
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gund(s)
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May 6, 2016 06:06
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First, you gotta get the mugger on your side. This is most easily done by engaging in conversation, saying something like "I don't really understand, whats this about?" while slowly reaching into your pants pocket. Once you've gotten one hand on your wallet or (or in your purse, ladies...) then you need to slowly (and I emphasize slowly, both for safety and effect) moving your other hand to your waist. The next step is an exciting one. You need to, in one swift movement, extract your wallet while undoing the buttons on your pants. The seductive look in your eyes is a key part of this strategy. Look deep into his or her eyes, with a longing and deep desire for dick (or whatever gets you going) and focus on that, think of the dick, be the dick, and once you have fully visualized the dick, then you must wiggle your hips free of the pants around them. Then, once your genitals kiss the sweet, open air, he will be the street mugger will be distracted. I suggest using this time to draw further attention and focus to your fine figure, possibly using your hand to accent the natural humps of your sweating six pack. Once his gaze lowers, he will stand at attention. That is your moment, your opportunity, your opening.
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May 6, 2016 06:15
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Just walk around completely naked. How can they mug you when there's nothing to steal? Nothing but this hot boi pussy that is and you know they're already welcome to that.
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May 6, 2016 06:17
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in my experience, the best tactic is screaming, peeing and pooping in your pants, falling on the ground, and dying, OP
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May 6, 2016 06:19
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satanic splash-back posted:First, you gotta get the mugger on your side. This is most easily done by engaging in conversation, saying something like "I don't really understand, whats this about?" while slowly reaching into your pants pocket. Once you've gotten one hand on your wallet or (or in your purse, ladies...) then you need to slowly (and I emphasize slowly, both for safety and effect) moving your other hand to your waist. go on..
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May 6, 2016 06:25
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Mention that their mother would not approve of them doing that and threaten to call her because you're loving her and have her number. Works every time.
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May 6, 2016 06:25
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escape off the street and onto the nearest lawn, then watch them as they heel to an abrupt halt, fix you with a menacing gaze, and pace back and forth like wolves at a riverbank
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May 6, 2016 06:48
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Give them their wallet, which contains....the 8 of clubs!
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May 6, 2016 06:51
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Give them their wallet, which contains....the 8 of clubs! thats a classic
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May 6, 2016 06:52
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become perfectly rigid, hop backwards, and see where the manhole takes you
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May 6, 2016 06:53
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just follow this easy script:
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May 6, 2016 06:54
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back up slowly with an open trashcan under your arm, carefully tossing bananas at your feet
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May 6, 2016 06:59
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Remind him that it's Sunday-sunday-SUNDAY! For one night-one-night-ONE NIGHT ONLY! M-m-m-monster-monster-MONSTER TRUCK RALLY! CAR CRUSHING MADNEEEES! See THE BEAST! The TRUCKNADO! This Sunday only!
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May 6, 2016 07:10
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Loudly proclaim " Go ahead, steal my crippling debt".
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May 6, 2016 11:45
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Give them their wallet, which contains....the 8 of clubs!
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May 6, 2016 12:41
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the best way to deal with a mugger is to simply give them whatever they want, and act like a scared baby. once you do that they will eventually turn their back on you to leave, at which point you can attacked them and recover your property (and theirs). i learned this technique from Piccolo
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May 6, 2016 13:10
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Beg the mugger to release you from this cruel world. Do it. Come on, do it. I want you to do it, I need you to do it. He'll get cold feet and leave because you came on too strong.
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May 6, 2016 13:13
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May 6, 2016 13:14
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Hide one of your tracking devices in your wallet. Then just give him the wallet, go home, suit up, and track him down on your next roof patrol.
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May 6, 2016 13:18
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I always say "Don't you know who I am? Get out of my way, I'm busy." It works every time.
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May 6, 2016 13:19
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Tell him you don't use fiat currency anymore and promise to wire him some bitcoins. "The hell are bitcoins?" Now you've got his attention and it's time to educate him.
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May 6, 2016 13:22
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Shake your head and look at him like he's an idiot. "No, this is not a good way to make money. Here, follow me." Hail a cab for the two of you and have it take you downtown. Get out outside an unassuming office block and go inside. Take the elevator up to third floor and lead him into an office. Ask him to take a seat on the couch then walk around and sit behind the desk the couch is facing. Tent your fingers and look him over then say "So, you want in porn huh?"
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May 6, 2016 13:24
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if it looks like you're going to get mugged, just confuse the low-minded criminal by brandishing a coffee mug and mugging your face enthusiastically and they will forget which kind of mugging they were interested in in the first place
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May 6, 2016 13:38
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Mozi posted:if it looks like you're going to get mugged, just confuse the low-minded criminal by brandishing a coffee mug and mugging your face enthusiastically and they will forget which kind of mugging they were interested in in the first place Highly creative solution. What if the mugger is named mugsy though?
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May 6, 2016 13:49
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E Equals MC Hammer posted:Highly creative solution. What if the mugger is named mugsy though? If you're dealing with Mugsy the Mugger, you're done. Some tips you read online aren't gonna help you. Yes there's some good tips in this thread but they'll only work on beginner to intermediate level muggers. Mugsy's a legend.
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May 6, 2016 13:55
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Reach down and plunge your fingertips into the asphalt, then yank the entire segment of road out from under the mugger as if it were a carpet. Best to follow this up by rolling the mugger up in the chunk of street and dropping him off at the police station.
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May 6, 2016 14:24
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A lot of people have probably given variations on the joke suggestion "poo poo yourself" but here's an idea: instead of shutting your own pants, poo poo the mugger's pants.
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May 6, 2016 14:26
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E Equals MC Hammer posted:Highly creative solution. What if the mugger is named mugsy though? pull out you set of street Dominoes and play a round of Muggins to distract him further
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May 6, 2016 14:26
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carry a fat stamp bag of fentanyl in ur wallet right behind ur credit cards, to ensure ur assailant's demise will be swift and justice will be done before they have a chance to spend all ur money then keep ur eye on the local obituaries for 18-35yr olds who "died suddenly" so u can figure out who did it and then gently caress their greiving family over by serving them a lawsuit after ur wallet gets found in their possession and returned to u by the police Mariana Horchata fucked around with this message at 14:36 on May 6, 2016 |
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May 6, 2016 14:28
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Ask him if he has any allergies, then tell him your wallet contains the thing(s) he's allergic to.
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May 6, 2016 14:40
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Carry a trick wallet that launches shuriken into the face of anyone who opens it. Keep it hidden while being mugged because there's no way you want a mugger to get his hands on something so valuable.
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May 6, 2016 14:42
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Applewhite posted:Ask him if he has any allergies, then tell him your wallet contains the thing(s) he's allergic to. Also rub yourself with peanut butter and shrimp every day.
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May 6, 2016 14:42
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Blurry Gray Thing posted:Also rub yourself with peanut butter and shrimp every day. Yes but you should already be doing this anyway.
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May 6, 2016 14:45
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Applewhite werent you a mod for like 15 minutes?
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May 6, 2016 14:46
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| # ? May 8, 2024 16:45 |
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E Equals MC Hammer posted:Applewhite werent you a mod for like 15 minutes? Yes?
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May 6, 2016 14:47
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