blaise rascal posted:

I had just gotten off my shift at the Metallica Factory and was heading home to have sex with my wife when a ghostly apparition appeared before me, and said, "Stop being cool... Become gay... Post in the chill forum." Its voice stuck in my memory. Before long, I became so uncool that I lost my job at the Metallica Factory. I became so gay that my beautiful wife of 69 years left me forever. I started posting in BYOB so often that my fingers bled.

These days my mind is filled with thoughts like, "Haha, look at that cat up there! He's just sitting in his hammock." I am at peace.