National retard Ken Ham at it again

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > National retard Ken Ham at it again

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

Yolomon Wayne posted:

It was Mithras, probably. I bet he used Mithras.

Bible-god isn't really a hydraulic press sort of guy, I bet he contracted it out to another god.

# ? Jun 24, 2016 18:00

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# ? May 8, 2024 03:22

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

My Q-Face posted:

Incest in the bible.

# ? Jun 25, 2016 02:10

Sweaty IT Nerd: Jul 13, 2007

It's me. I am the smug atheist.

# ? Jun 25, 2016 02:10

Connor the Conure: Jun 4, 2016; Spoiled to all hell

Hey guys. I'm really glad Noah was able to take the time to travel the earth and return every species to the places it had already adapted to. Also glad he was able to build working aquariums in the ark for all those freshwater fish that would have died when the salty ocean eventually overflowed onto land. :sureboat:

# ? Jun 27, 2016 11:26

The Protagonist: Jun 29, 2009; The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

near as i can tell god was just hazing noah and did everything himself

# ? Jun 27, 2016 13:54

old beast lunatic: Nov 3, 2004; by Hand Knit

Ken Ham is an Australian retard and should go be retarded in Australia IMO. I hope Trump deports him.

# ? Jun 27, 2016 15:51

a shiny rock: Nov 13, 2009

Connor the Conure posted:

Hey guys. I'm really glad Noah was able to take the time to travel the earth and return every species to the places it had already adapted to. Also glad he was able to build working aquariums in the ark for all those freshwater fish that would have died when the salty ocean eventually overflowed onto land.

i dont think noah did anything with fish, just animals

# ? Jun 27, 2016 15:59

old beast lunatic: Nov 3, 2004; by Hand Knit

pretty hosed up of noah to save those zika mosquitos.

# ? Jun 27, 2016 16:04

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

Drad_Bert posted:

DID SOMEBODY SAY HAM?

http://imgur.com/aiv5M1M/

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Lol

# ? Jun 27, 2016 16:12

old beast lunatic: Nov 3, 2004; by Hand Knit

Maybe Ken Ham's problem is that he doesn't know he's a retard? Someone should tell him.

# ? Jun 27, 2016 16:14

General Dog: Apr 26, 2008; Everybody's working for the weekend

Cthulu Carl posted:

Yeah, Lot was the one who got date raped.

I dunno if there's any proscription against his offspring though because that all happened after Lot offered his daughters to the local rape gang to save some angels, then he whisked them off suddenly telling them to not look back while fire and brimstone poo poo goes down, mom did look back and blammo it was pillar of salt time for her and basically the two girls thought they were the last people on earth.

I like to think god was all "ya know, I hosed y'all up and led you to drunk incest. My bad." And gave them a one-time pass, but this is the Old Testament God so LOL they probably got owned even harder than Job.

The daugthers' incest sons were Moab and Ammon, whose descendants both were antagonistic to Israel and got dunked on regularly by David and Israel's other "good" kings.

# ? Jun 27, 2016 16:37

Crazyeyes: Nov 5, 2009; If I were human, I believe my response would be: 'go to hell'.

3.1 million feet of timber used....

Nothing like propping up the logging industry to show how much you love God's creation.

# ? Jun 27, 2016 16:46

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

Crazyeyes posted:

3.1 million feet of timber used....

Nothing like propping up the logging industry to show how much you love God's creation.

It's cool God will push the reset button again one of these days and who'll be sorry when the new ark saves two of everything

# ? Jun 27, 2016 16:56

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

In the preflood days there were only 17 species.

# ? Jun 27, 2016 16:58

Azuth0667: Sep 20, 2011; By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

This means we must flood kentucky to test the ark :colbert:

# ? Jun 27, 2016 17:00

Deus Ex Macklemore: Jul 2, 2004; Zelensky's Zealots

Germstore posted:

In the preflood days there were only 17 species.

Evolution proven by book of Genesis. Whooda thunk it

# ? Jun 27, 2016 17:26

SocketWrench: Jul 8, 2012; by Fritz the Horse

Connor the Conure posted:

Hey guys. I'm really glad Noah was able to take the time to travel the earth and return every species to the places it had already adapted to. Also glad he was able to build working aquariums in the ark for all those freshwater fish that would have died when the salty ocean eventually overflowed onto land.

Lol, I remember one crazy christian telling me it wasn't that bad. You see, the water from wherever the flood water came from balanced the salt and freshwater out to just the right setting that both could live in the same water. That's why we have fish that live in brackish water.

# ? Jun 27, 2016 17:31

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

Waterworld theme park looking good.

# ? Jun 27, 2016 17:34

tankadillo: Aug 15, 2006

I like the part where he says he's planning on building a Tower of Babel next, lol.

# ? Jun 28, 2016 06:17

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

Pawn 17 posted:

dibs on being the 'man' on the ark

dibs on being the other man :quagmire:

# ? Jun 28, 2016 09:19

boom boom boom: Jun 28, 2012; by Shine

tankadillo posted:

I like the part where he says he's planning on building a Tower of Babel next, lol.

That's a space elevator, right?

Imagine if he actually does it

# ? Jun 29, 2016 06:20

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

boom boom boom posted:

That's a space elevator, right?

Imagine if he actually does it

LOL, you think he believes in things like space, or heliocentric orbits?

# ? Jun 29, 2016 12:22

Orkin Mang: Nov 1, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

richard of st victor nailed it imo

# ? Jun 29, 2016 12:28

boom boom boom: Jun 28, 2012; by Shine

Iron Crowned posted:

LOL, you think he believes in things like space, or heliocentric orbits?

Dude, imagine if he built a space elevator, and evangelical Christians started populating space.

There's a colony on Mars, but their leader is Kirk Cameron

# ? Jun 29, 2016 17:30

ANIME IS BLOOD: Sep 4, 2008; by zen death robot

Tiberius Thyben posted:

What is this? An ark for ants?!

# ? Jun 29, 2016 17:35

pop fly to McGillicutty: Feb 2, 2004; A peckish little mouse!

The Protagonist posted:

near as i can tell god was just hazing noah and did everything himself

Spoilers man come on

# ? Jun 29, 2016 17:36

a shiny rock: Nov 13, 2009

seems kind of wasteful if god's not even doing a flood this time

# ? Jun 29, 2016 19:48

jBrereton: May 30, 2013; Grimey Drawer

SocketWrench posted:

Though it is being built as proof that two of every animal on earth could fit inside and manage to float through storms for forty days isn't as far fetched as people realize, it won't be floated in water and requires a multitude of metal supports and parts (95 tons worth) that would not be possible for the "original" biblical ark and won't house any animals (they'll be outside on display).

It was seven pairs of a whole bunch of animals and a pair of some others, did Ken Ham never even finish Genesis before calling it a day and using one of those bible quote finder websites????????

# ? Jun 29, 2016 19:52

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

Not that any of it makes any sense but there's very few clean animals vs unclean animals so the seven pairs for clean animals is pretty negligible.

# ? Jun 29, 2016 19:57

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

Germstore posted:

Not that any of it makes any sense but there's very few clean animals vs unclean animals so the seven pairs for clean animals is pretty negligible.

Of course, there's the whole thing that it's just STDH the book

# ? Jun 29, 2016 19:58

jBrereton: May 30, 2013; Grimey Drawer

Germstore posted:

Not that any of it makes any sense but there's very few clean animals vs unclean animals so the seven pairs for clean animals is pretty negligible.

Yeah but 14 giraffes for example are going to take up a shitload of room just by themselves. Like you can't just have them comically poke their heads out of the wheelhouse like if there were 2, let's get real here.

# ? Jun 29, 2016 20:01

Orkin Mang: Nov 1, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

he has no idea about the science

# ? Jun 29, 2016 20:03

jBrereton: May 30, 2013; Grimey Drawer

I've run the numbers... and he's a chancer!

# ? Jun 29, 2016 20:12

no mom very hungry: Oct 5, 2004; You are getting sleepy...

Mountains? Where we're going, we don't need mountains.

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no mom very hungry fucked around with this message at 20:46 on Jun 29, 2016

# ? Jun 29, 2016 20:44

XMNN: Apr 26, 2008; I am incredibly stupid

SocketWrench posted:

Lol, I remember one crazy christian telling me it wasn't that bad. You see, the water from wherever the flood water came from balanced the salt and freshwater out to just the right setting that both could live in the same water. That's why we have fish that live in brackish water.

its rain it comes from the sky

# ? Jun 29, 2016 22:17