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Let's head on to the bad end Bilgeton! First of all here's the end of the last page:  Now we've decided to keep the adventurer parts, replacing what we have so as to stay a member of the SWU. We have to decide whether we're throwing away the Monkey Paw or the Six-Fingered Hand to do this. Since we're not using the golem arm we can raise Big Bill. Here's what we get:  He's a very good addition to the army. The only downside (and it's only sort of a downside) is his size - he will always be the first in line to take damage in the unit he's in. He also gets to add all his FIST dice together in the first round of combat which is useful. Here's the staff which we picked up, it interacts well with the gimp leg:  We didn't use very much ESSENCE doing all that thanks to our skills and the shears, so 50 ESSENCE is a full recovery. Anyway so moving on, we're going to Bilgeton. 360:  And of course something stops us. Another witch. What do we do? and which hand do we chuck away for the priest hand? (monkey paw or six fingered) Here's the current adventure scroll: 
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Jul 2, 2016 03:51
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now i don't want to get your hopes up about what you're trying to do here. skull's more of an rear end in a top hat than a creep.
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Jul 2, 2016 16:33
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oh you sick fucks want to try it on with Aethelchill. I warned Last para complete:  On to 352:  Luckily I remembered we were wearing armour this time and rolled a 6 on the armour saving throw from the tabard so this broom to the balls doesn't do us in. We're still not winning at the game of love but at least we're not dead. Well, we are, but at least we can still shamble around. Anyway, the world is our oyster. Where to? No changes to the adventure scroll.
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Jul 3, 2016 00:08
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Aint gonna be no update tonight because sunday is as slow af for these things, I'll pick up the responses over the evening and tomorrow and then we'll move right into the end game
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Jul 3, 2016 19:46
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We're going to continue to Bilgeton where this salty adventure will conclude. One or two choices remain and then it's either page 400 or a worse page
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Jul 4, 2016 20:13
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Dinosaurmageddon posted:The D.O.O.T. Union doesn't get all salty, it gets assault-y! Monteton was North at the start!  update time. We continue to Bilgeton, ignoring the witch.Here's the latest past, now complete:  Turning to 312:   Here's our current adventure scroll: Now one thing about this that might not be obvious unless you've paid too much attention to this book and Sword of the Bastard Elf - this is a squalid little medieval world that teeters on the edge of starvation most of the time and soldiers are expensive. Bilgeton is the region's biggest metropolis with a population of no more than 2,500 and it pretty much supports a couple of dozen soldiers, a few knights and a couple of petty nobles. A guy wandering around with fourteen dudes, especially dudes ready to fight, is a force to be reckoned with. Anyway, now you know that what do we do here? (bear in mind our next choice will bring us to, or very close to The End We Deserve)
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Jul 5, 2016 02:33
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the_steve posted:Use the monkeys paw, wish to be in charge of the SKU let's do this HiHo ChiRho posted:We have to be careful here. The SKU executives are pretty nasty and can afflict us with the mark of shame known as Red Texting. yeah they're pricks
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Jul 5, 2016 22:07
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 Final update!We're going to monkey paw our way out of trouble. 312 complete:   As a member in good standing of the SWU we turn to 198, right into the battle of Bilgeton Plain:  Welp, we're boned. This isn't really a winnable fight unless our army is really large, and we've been pretty inefficient about swapping out parts and stuff. Running away isn't much of an option either. BUT we did randomly pick up an item from a barrel tucked away in an optional part of the game - the Monkey's Paw, and we still have some wishes left on it. Let's turn to 264 and finish this thing off.  Well, it's not the best ending, but it's an ending. I'd like to thank y'all for playing along once again. I'll make a PDF version of this adventure and add it to the first post like I usually do. Thanks! It's been real.
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Jul 6, 2016 02:41
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tbh I expected y'all to go for Aggie and the cauldron but as usual just when I had everything worked out y'all decided to go in a completely different direction. We never did get to see the wizard in the end even if we did wind up lodging with him permanently
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Jul 6, 2016 03:08
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Twenty Four posted:Maybe not the best ending we could have gone for, but a really good adventure. The mini game was the best. Yeah I really enjoyed putting that together and I'll probably do more stuff like that pretty soon. Outrail posted:Yes! An unsatisfying yet livable existence, just what the union wanted. The idea was that we were supposed to continue either to Aggie or the tower, find out more about Necronimo and then we'd either side with the wizard (against the union, who as you just saw are self-serving bastards), side with Aggie and chuck the wizard out, or side with ourselves and screw everyone over. I was surprised that people didn't take to the OBU more as well - they were based on the IWW (a radical trade union) whereas the SWW is more of a normal, mainline union that mostly looks out for its existing members. I'm happy enough with the way it went though, the monkey paw manoeuvre is pretty much par for the course with these threads but I really didn't see it coming. Also I thought we'd tgo looking for the ten-foot pole but meh. s0m3 guy posted:yo SIB do you know if herman ever made vhs game tapes like this?? If there was money in it, he probably took a swing at it. I think Sword of the Bastard Elf got a terrible VHS board game adaptation
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Jul 6, 2016 10:55
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Cheers, well keep an eye out for the recovered version of this book which I guess I'll have patched together in 9 months or so. I can't guarantee it'll run exactly the same as this (every edition of this idiot's work is a bit different for whatever reason) but you'll be able to see what would have happened with the Goblin King, Aethelweird or any number of other things we missed out on, skipped over or avoided. I might be able to find a computer adaption as well, it depends on what comes to hand and what Two-Fisted Steve will sell me.
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Jul 6, 2016 19:26
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Nyaa posted:[CYOA] Let's not visit - the wizard of warlock tower. at least in Sword of the Bastard Elf we got the sword and in Void Racers we did some racing and got to the Void. Ah well. Next time we can do Codename: CyberFISTS but never punch anything or make any attempt to do whatever the plot is strongly hinting we should do anyway here's the PDF of this game which I've made in case y'all want a memento: https://goo.gl/F14ulf If you want to find out the other ways to go well then buy the book if I ever reprint it. Finally a plug: if you're interested in seeing more of this stuff consider backing my patreon which is possibly the best value patreon in existence as I've never charged anyone anything. Or join the facebook group. Either way you'll be pestered with updates including the upcoming game I'm definitely making about GBS. I don't mind if you don't do either of those things though, I'll probably keep on making stuff like this. Thanks again for playing The Wizard of Warlock Tower
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Jul 10, 2016 20:42
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Horrible Lurkbeast posted:I might be confusing books here but I distinctly remember a post-apocalyptic CYOA book that included a few recipes by Herman. That's the one. Don't eat anything Herman suggests. I've tried and the recipes made me violently ill.
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Jul 10, 2016 23:13
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gannyGrabber posted:I'm finding the patreon a little overwhelming to sort through (I'm dumb). Which books are finished and how do I get a hold of 'em? Patreon is a very bad site. The only book available right now is Star Bastards which can be got digitally from twofistedfantasy.com and a print edition will also be there pretty soon.
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Jul 10, 2016 23:17
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