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Hey goons, Memorial Day has passed and Idol is off the air, so it's time for America's Got Talent again. For those who don't know, this is a series that welcomes acts of all stripes and ages. Yes, there are singers and dancers and sob stories like those other shows, but you get bands, magicians, acrobatics, comedians, and all sorts of things in between. Winner gets a whole lot of money and a show in Vegas, though the other top acts usually go on tour. We use this thread to riff on the acts, bitch about how the good acts get booted off for singers, and even get some inside info here and there. Fun times! Your Judges and Host (image from NBC's site):  Most of the usual cast returns from last year--host Nick Cannon, professional troll/germophobe Howie Mandel, model Heidi Klum and former Spice Girl Mel B. Unfortunately, Howard Stern left the cast last year, but we get the original Mean British Judge Simon Cowell in his place. Yes, the American talent show is being judged by four non-americans  .First round of auditions starts tonight at 8PM Eastern / 7PM Central, and should continue for the next few weeks. If you have any friends or family on the show, you might have to check in a few times, as they've been throwing together auditions from different cities each week. After that, we get the culling in Vegas, and then the live shows in Hollywood (changed from New York during the Stern era). The Olympics will likely throw a wrench in the schedule like it did a few years back, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I've been looking forward to this for a while now. There's a decent mix that get through to the live shows, so you can usually find one or two acts to root for or against. Plus, we can be bitter together when all the good acts get somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 16:35 on May 31, 2016 |
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May 31, 2016 16:32
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First act of the season...kid act. Is this going to hurt already? Cute dog act, and a mind reading act afterwards. Dog seemed okay if one note, and the mind reading seemed decent. Need to see where they take it next. Spice Gurlz...  EDIT: Okay, a couple of interesting acts coming out of the show tonight, but we'll have to see how they develop. Magic and screen guy could be interesting, and I don't know what to make of tape face. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 02:48 on Jun 1, 2016 |
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Jun 1, 2016 01:05
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God help me, the singers and kid acts are invading in full force tonight. It doesn't help the other act was a contortionist. Look at me, I can make circles with my body. Number of "inspirational" acts so far tonight: 2. Also, take a drink every time someone says "America will love you".
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Jun 8, 2016 01:50
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Oh god, are those drones? Please be good going forward, PLEASE. Edit: Kid, original song, ukulele, breathy voice, doesn't play by the rules. Indie.mpg. Also, EAT poo poo HOWARD. We don't need two kid singers taking the spots dammit. You eat poo poo too Simon. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 02:58 on Jun 8, 2016 |
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Jun 8, 2016 02:48
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Week 3 of auditions going on. At this rate, we may need a thread title change. Yet another inspirational child act from the south. Is this another bingo?
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Jun 15, 2016 01:41
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Christ, isn't one a night enough? Whatever sympathy I might be supposed to have for this father's lot in life is being overwhelmed by my annoyance at tonight. Guido edit: Help me I'm torn. I should like/love this guy, but in light of the two kid singers we've had already, my enthusiasm is a bit muted. I may have to root him on anyway if it means a little less of the Idolification of the show. Three singers dammit. And no magicians in sight. 
somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 03:00 on Jun 15, 2016 |
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Jun 15, 2016 02:26
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Week 4 is on. Danger act, and a kid act montage. Not expecting to hear Bumble Boogie on the show though. EDIT: Little more interesting tonight. Not expecting the comedian's story, but I have a feeling some people are going to hate her regardless of how good or edgy she is. I'll take her over more singers any day. More edits: Son of a bitch. Can we gas this season right now? Or at least get a title change to American Idol season 16, since that's what the judges seem hell bent on turning this show into? somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 03:01 on Jun 22, 2016 |
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Jun 22, 2016 01:19
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AGT is on an hour late tonight due to Olympics. Singer alert? Edit: Singer was okay, kid magician was meh for me, and I didn't know they could do a sob story with a dog act. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 02:28 on Jun 29, 2016 |
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Jun 29, 2016 02:04
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Last week of auditions allegedly. And there's a guy with a theremin. Better than a singer for sure.
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Jul 6, 2016 01:48
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Sorry for the double post, but we get a twofer of judge cuts this week. 20 acts a night, 7 go to the live shows. Guest judges have one more gold buzzer. Tonight is Ne-Yo, tomorrow is Reba. Expect two more singers for the gold buzzers.
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Jul 13, 2016 01:04
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Oh my god that guy's head I've heard of you...says their son.
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Jul 13, 2016 01:46
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I hope he can bring better magic in the future. While I'm glad a magician is in and not a singer, I've seen that trick done by a few other magicians. Here's hoping for Hara.
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Jul 13, 2016 02:37
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Yes, singers starting to go home  ...and then they send the loving inspirational acts both through gently caress No more singers. No loving more. Gonna go purge with Rage. ...though maybe the inspirational acts will have to fight to the death in the live shows? Anyway, more tomorrow, and hopefully more variety acts. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 03:11 on Jul 13, 2016 |
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Jul 13, 2016 02:54
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Aw hell, Brundage got the axe? and we get a kid rapper in the live shows? Great. Pray for wild cards.
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Jul 14, 2016 10:37
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Ay, getting more lively in here. Week 2 of the judge cuts tonight, and we get George Lopez. And probably more singers. Also, did you know that there are only seven spots?
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Jul 20, 2016 01:08
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Did they really have to finish on the creep guy? It's nice he got the room silent, and it wasn't bad, but the Radiohead fan in me isn't blown away. Now if he did No Surprises... I look forward to this guy stealing several spots from the more interesting act, though I'll see if he gets more interesting.
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Jul 20, 2016 02:49
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Sorry about the dog cute thread. Maybe next year? Last judge cuts is on. Louis of One Direction is the guest judge. Expect fangirling. Also, the singers with sob stories just keep crawling out of the woodwork. AND gently caress YOU BOY BAND GUY Going to watch Fool Us, enjoy this trash. RAGE EDIT: Or I would, if I was watching during the right hour! Is nothing right in this world. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 01:58 on Jul 21, 2016 |
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Jul 21, 2016 01:06
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Get ready folks, the first live show is tonight! We are apparently getting one wild card act each week, and I'm happy to say Steven Brundage is one of them  Good luck to the acts tonight. Jana: Good for a first act. You wouldn't expect a teen act to do so well, especially in a big theater like that. Also, what's up with Nick's pseudo man bun? somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 01:11 on Jul 27, 2016 |
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Jul 27, 2016 01:04
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Hara: Kenichi plus magic. I hope he will go far. One of the birds got away though  Outlawz: That busting didn't make me feel good. Why the segue into Super Freak as well? Musical.ly: It was a choir. I'm not sold on them TBH, but THERE SO INSPIRATIONAL Didn't watch the comedienne. Deadly duo: Interesting, though possibly soured by how she was guiding him. Jon: Mentalism eh? Did he get a peek at the cards before he drew them or something? Daniel: Not impressing me like the first girl. Music felt a bit loud too. Southern block might put him through though, so I don't think he's out yet. Dorothy: Piss off Nick. I'm the fake nipple tassels. Sila Sveta: Rez 2 looking good. Laura: Oy, lot of power there. Can't wait till she steals a spot from someone not a singer, but I tossed her a couple votes. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 02:58 on Jul 27, 2016 |
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Jul 27, 2016 01:29
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Yeah, they were good enough that I threw them votes, and I'm glad to see they went through. Kind of sucks we lost Hara to the teenage comedienne, though it was amusing how a few of the AGT redditors were pissed at the Trump jokes. And we're just going to get more kid singers this week, aren't we?
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Jul 30, 2016 03:45
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Week 2 of the quarterfinals is up on the East Coast. More pain? Flipmode: I could take it or leave it. Still better than Outlawz though. Moya Angelou: Everybody's rooting for her, except maybe me. I've heard there's maybe only 13 singers in the quarterfinals, so they aren't the majority, but the way the producers and editors hype them up compared to some of the other acts is very noticable. Kind of a lukewarm response from the judges surprisingly. BUT SHE'S SO INSPIRATIONAL AND EVERYONE IS ROOTING FOR HER Victor Kee: Juggling, and not one dropped ball. Can he step it up? I'd still like to see more of him. K.D. Lynn: Everybody is rooting for her, except maybe me. While I bitch about the Idolification of the show, Idol and the Voice wouldn't allow singers as young as 12. Sadly, CHURCH plus SMALL TOWN plus THE SOUTH equals a spot in the semis. Having stage presence at her age is cool I suppose. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 01:37 on Aug 3, 2016 |
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Aug 3, 2016 01:07
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Parents I think. Ryan and Amber: Unfortunately, they done goofed. Sorry guys.
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Aug 3, 2016 01:47
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Selma Bouvier: It's a singer. SO BRAVE Ovarian cancer at her age is incredibly lovely, but Jesus Christ if this isn't a prime example of story over talent. It's like the producers aren't even trying to hide it--note how many times the word "brave" came up. Yay for spot stealing~
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Aug 3, 2016 02:02
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lifts cats over head posted:Uh oh, I'm about a half hour behind what happened? I can get a little squeamish and trying to figure out if I should just skip it. Nothing bloody, but you might wince a bit when you see it. Contortionist: Neat bit with the rope, but it seemed a bit similar to the other two auditions afterwards. If she can keep layering on stuff, she should do fine. Hey, at least she didn't nail anyone in the throat. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 02:10 on Aug 3, 2016 |
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Aug 3, 2016 02:03
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Clarvoriyants: I think I've seen that chalkboard bit before, but not with the mentalism angle. The number of jellybeans thing was cool. Sal: What the hell did they do with that song choice? After all that hype with the Sinatra, he does a goddamn pop song. Pisssssssss. Sadly, I don't think he hit "Sinatra" level tonight, even with the banter. That buzzer from Simon though. Brundage: So did he screw with Howie's cube and get it to match his in a few seconds? Goddamn son, that's a fast pair of hands. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 02:48 on Aug 3, 2016 |
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Aug 3, 2016 02:31
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Hey, so the Olympics are over and AGT returns tonight. This is the last quarterfinals, so 7 more acts move on. Ready for more pain and inspiring stories? I certainly wasn't ready for Nick's fro.
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Aug 24, 2016 01:02
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Comedian lady seemed to meander a bit at the end for me. The magicians will for sure get a vote or two from me. Singers continue to not interest me, and I skipped Edgar. EDIT: fuckkkkkk whoever made that arrangment. VAGASSSSSS More edits: no god please bring big Barry back this is loving twee.mp3 WHY ARE YOU ALL STANDING YOU PISSANTS somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 02:57 on Aug 24, 2016 |
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Aug 24, 2016 02:22
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Apologies for the double post, but we just had an obvious BOTH OF YOU and Howie wants this to be the final two so gently caress him. Third act through wasn't as obvious, but I'm hoping for more singer culls.
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Aug 25, 2016 02:23
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The Nastier Nate posted:I am officially predicting ukulele girl as this season's winner. I personally have a policy of not voting for singers, but this girl's has been scientifically engineered to win AGT. When her and sparkly jacket singer were up, it was obvious they were both going through. Yeah, that had to be a both of you based on how Merica and the judges love them. I still would rather Howie's prediction didn't come true--the thought of Howie Mandel being the show's Kingmaker terrifies me more than an all-singer final. Semis start next week--save us magic men!
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Aug 25, 2016 03:39
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First of the live semifinals tonight. 11 acts, I think only 5 go through. How many will be sacrificed on the altar of Ms. Twee? Performances (from the AGT subreddit, with a few comments) *Sal Valentinetti, Jazz Singer *Blake Vogt, Magician *Edgar, Family Band *Lori Mae Hernandez, Stand-up Comedienne (and current enemy of the Trump redditors it would seem) *Musicality, Vocal Group *Deadly Games, Knife Thrower Duo *Tape Face, Mime (darling of r/AGT) *Jon Dorenbos, Magician *Grace VanderWaal, Singer/Ukulelist (/god of carnage) *Malevo, Malambo Group (pre-recorded apparently) *Laura Bretan, Opera Singer ***** Thoughts on acts: Sal: That was competent. Depending on Grace's performance, he may be sacrificed though. I'd back him though if it comes down to it. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 01:12 on Aug 31, 2016 |
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Aug 31, 2016 00:48
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I've definitely known a few people a bit like him--I might even have a couple in my family! Blake: Oh look, a stage illusion. Seemed like enough time to get over to the stage or at least do the switch, but it didn't wow me. Sacrifice on the altar!
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Aug 31, 2016 01:20
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Edgar: it's not like there's anything wrong with it musically, but it seemed like it took a bit to get started. Also SO INSPIRATIONAL pre roll. Pass. Also, is there a supercut of all the "this is your night" spiels from the judges? Lori: the people in this thread are mad at her: https://m.reddit.com/r/agt/comments/50e84t/season_11_semifinals_1_discussion_thread/?sort=new Could she get a spite vote from me to piss reddit off? Probably not, but better than more singers. Sacrificed. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 01:42 on Aug 31, 2016 |
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Aug 31, 2016 01:30
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Musicality: two shots of SO INSPIRATIONAL tonight. Is this pre-roll a no h8 ad? Born this way? Oh my god this is a no h8 ad did glee do this song? Sacrifice. Uncle Deadly: Glad to see no one got an arrow to the neck. I might have to give an edge to the quarterfinal act, but I'd like to see them again. Howie seems like he needs some water for that thirst though. Tape Face: So so stupid, but I like that type of silly. Piss on Mel and Simon for stealing the limelight though. Please let him win without saying a single word. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 02:14 on Aug 31, 2016 |
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Aug 31, 2016 01:47
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Jon Dorenbos: So the addition was useless...and I think he hosed up one of the states. Still, neat concept for a trick, and it was nice to see Simon get taken down a peg...though he seems to be constantly amazed by the magic. Might take him over Blake.
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Aug 31, 2016 02:28
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All shall be consumed by the 12 year old with the ukulele and the songs about being original. That or the Radiohead guy. FLESH. Two indie for me man. It doesn't matter what I think though, for I am but a guy phone posting about a 12 year old with more success coming her way than I will ever have. SO INSPIRATIONAL??? And I really should be rooting for her because original music and all, but I can't get past the indie thing and the swing back to singers after years of non-singers. I feel like a liar given how I titled the thread. poo poo. Malevo: Little Riverdance in the middle there, but I'm liking how this act is shaping up. Put em through! Laura: So this girl's apparently won Romania ' s Got Talent very recently. And unfortunately, she might steal more spots now. SO INSPIRATIONAL times 4. Night folks. Cull the singers. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 02:57 on Aug 31, 2016 |
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Aug 31, 2016 02:37
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Dunkin save is up: Edgar, Laura and Tape Face are on the bubble. The Idolification will come regardless, but save Tape Boy for as long as you can please. Grace through, fak u Howie. Please let a golden buzzer go home finally. gently caress. gently caress gently caress gently caress Malevo gone Sal through. No more singers FUCKKKKK "But there's not THAT many singers u guise, stop freaking out" no this is why you cull the singers, man I'm extrapolating from reddit comments Eagles? Jon Dorenbos through. gently caress the judges for the singer golden buzzers still. Tape Face is the Dunkin Save, and passing zone is the wild card, with a promise to involve Simon. Yas. Not going to like this Judge pick regardless. You stack most of the judge singers against each other, and they might all go through. gently caress. Did all go through. gently caress me. We're all screwed in the finals, and piss on the judges for setting this up. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 03:00 on Sep 1, 2016 |
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Sep 1, 2016 02:13
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Hey, apologies for all the poo poo I spew while love blogging these things. I'd at least hope by putting it in one post, it's not going all over the thread. I really don't want singers if you can't tell. We've gone too many seasons without one winning for me to slide back. And the fact that none of the singers the judges chose are out yet baffles me.The Nastier Nate posted:If Tape Face breaks character they should immediately take the check back. It won't matter though because no one will stand up to the juggernaut that is Grace Vanderwaal. When Nick called her up against Lori Mae Hernadez and Musiciality, just the applause line alone told everyone on that stage who was going through. Sofie and Brian seem like good picks barring any screw ups, but never underestimate a sob story. Not to mention all the so inspirational hype around Calysta, she might still get through regardless of how she does. I'm fearing an all singer top 5 in the finals right now, maybe I should give the show a break next year if it goes that way.
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Sep 1, 2016 14:27
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It's time for more fun/disappointment. How many more singers will we get tonight? How much bitching and pissing will I do in the meantime? Will the passing zone's act with Simon be cathartic in any way? Will any golden buzzer singers please be done with? Will we get more inspirational stories (of course we will) Or does it even matter, since Grace seems to be destroying all the competition for some reason? ACTS: Jayna Brown, Singer Kadan Bart Rockett, Magician Kadie Lynn Robertson, Singer/ Guitarist Viktor Kee, Juggler Linkin' Bridge, Vocal Group The Passing Zone, Comedy Juggling Duo Calysta Bevier, Singer Steven Brundage, Magician Sofie Dossi, Contorionist/ Aerialist The Clairvoyants, Mentalist Duo Brian Justin Crum, Pop Singer Jayna: Too busy posting to pay attention, not that it matters anyway. No more signers. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 01:08 on Sep 7, 2016 |
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Sep 7, 2016 01:04
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Bob Morales posted:Did they goof that magic trick up? I could see another person in there after the last kid came out. Possibly? It seemed like they were having trouble keeping that house up. Maybe if they were a little taller it would have locked in place. WHAT ARE YOU POINTING AT???? Kadie: I suppose Idol wouldn't allow younger singers, but what is preventing the younger singers' voices from changing as they get older? Hoping for a cull of this girl, given the response she got. But did you know that Kadie Lynn took 12 years to age? somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 01:28 on Sep 7, 2016 |
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Sep 7, 2016 01:20
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Viktor: Spaceman with balls that light up. The effect of the lit balls rolling through the fog was kind of nice though. Can he make the finale a little more interesting than just juggling though? And did Mel just say someone else other than Grace might win? HERETIC Also: why is there a Deepwater Horizon movie? Was this an heroic event we needed to know about? Linkin Bridge incoming, and SO INSPIRATIONAL is also likely. gently caress we're getting at least 3 singers tomorrow aren't we? No more Idol. Passing Zone: Too much setup for too little reward. Go home. Calysta: More than anyone, she seems to personify the "story over substance" poo poo that grinds my gears. Almost everything about her has been about how brave she is and how inspiring she is. Some of the other acts have it going on for sure, but it doesn't feel as overt as it is with her. I really should just sit next season out if acts like this continue to get played up over the interesting ones. Brundage: Would be nice if we could get a close up of the face to verify. Kind of loses the impact. Sofie: Could go through on that, but the singers will likely devour her. somekindofguy fucked around with this message at 02:35 on Sep 7, 2016 |
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Sep 7, 2016 01:38
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