- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
¿
Apr 27, 2024 19:54
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
Some confessions from the old thread I didn't get a chance to post back then:
quote:I was born in China, but never knew my birth parents and was adopted by a white couple in America while I was a baby.
There's a Chinese buffet I go to for lunch every so often and they always give me a 50% discount for no reason. I went with a bunch of coworkers and a few noticed, I just said "Oh I go here a lot".
I cannot speak a lick of Chinese and do not care to ever visit that country. But the cheap Chinese buffet is awesome.
quote:I work as a manager in a distribution center and every single one of my employees is black. I'm white. I get along with everyone and earned the nicknames "White Thunder" and "Fat Daddy", and had the highest manager approval rating in the entire country. My DC is located in a pretty poor neighborhood, so this job means a lot to the guys and they work hard to make sure we never have to cut anybody's position.
The sad fact is I was offered a much higher paying, cushier job with corporate due to my excellent performance. I would move to a nicer city, get paid a lot more, and have way better benefits and stock options. I was ready to sign the papers and start the relocation until they let me talk to the guy they handpicked for my replacement.
He was super racist. Like cartoonishly evil. Said that he liked working with "The blacks" because they don't know their own strength and have extra muscles that let them work harder. Then made a joke about buying a KFC in the neighborhood to "double his income". I asked him what kind of improvements he might make, and he said that he'd cut wages for everyone and make sure overtime is eliminated. I did run about 1% overtime, but I don't think anybody could cut that out without being a literal slave master.
I gave up that higher paying job to stay with my guys. I'm only confessing this anonymously because I don't want credit or validation for doing the right thing. But I don't know anyone in real life I could tell this story to and it needs to be said in this current climate.
quote:I've burnt down 4 abandoned buildings near my home and am afriad I'll do it again soon.
I can't control the pryomaniac side of me for much longer.
|
#
¿
Jun 3, 2016 08:26
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
lol thanks J. You know what you must do now: Send a confession!
|
|
#
¿
Jun 3, 2016 08:31
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:I'm a published author and artist, which I publish under a fake name.
However, what I write is hardcore hentai dojinshis. I was really into anime as a kid and got really good at aping the style. In college I drew hentai for some quick bucks, and it expanded to writing and drawing entire massive collections of erotic material. I estimate I've created about 7000 pages of the stuff at this point.
It's paid for a new house and for my entire wedding and honeymoon.
quote:On December 14th 2009 my son was born. My wife, who was the only woman I ever loved or will ever love, died in childbirth. I missed her terribly but viewed our son as a blessing, a chance for my wife's legacy to live on.
Since then I have discovered that my son is evil. Truly evil.
I never told him about his mother. When he got a little older he asked why he didn't have a mommy. I said that she went to live in Heaven when he was born. He started laughing. He told me that she wasn't in Heaven, that nobody goes anywhere when they die. I asked where he heard that from, and he told me that he was born knowing that. I tried to teach him about the afterlife (I don't think any child needs to consider the implication of infinite nothingness at his age) but he just called it lies and stories for babies.
On his fifth birthday I got him a hamster. One day I came home and the hamster was lying dead on the living room couch. The head had been smashed in. My son was running around the house with a bloody ballpeen hammer. I asked him what he did. He said he killed the hamster. Then he said the thing that proved to me he was evil - he said he killed the hamster just like he killed mommy. Then he swung the hammer at my kneecap. I went down in pain and he held the hammer over my head. He said I could kill you too daddy, but I won't.
I got him into therapy after that and they couldn't find anything wrong. He was a perfect child to them and they found no underlying mental issues. I thought my wife's death might be the root cause, but they determined he was fine with it and had accepted it. When they asked him where his mother was, he said she was with the angels in heaven.
He pushed my elderly mother down the stairs on her birthday and said she tripped over some toys. She never woke up from the coma the fall put her in. When I yelled at him and said what happened, he said that she deserved what happened and she "got off easy". At my mother's funeral my son got into a fight with another child and broke her nose. I asked the girl what happened and she said my son called her a "Whore's daughter".
More therapy after that and nothing changed again. I thought something was dangerously wrong, but the tests showed he was a normal child with slightly above average intelligence and socialization.
He would steal from stores if we went shopping together. He'd leave nails and screws around so I'd run over them while pulling in and out of the driveway. He broke every toy I bought him and screamed bloody murder about it. He defaced every photo in the house of me and his mother, and wrote horrible things like Whore Slut Dyke and oval office on them. When I asked him why he said that about his mother, he said she was a dead piece of meat and meat didn't deserve respect. I told him to obey me as his father and he said I was just one breath away from being a dead piece of meat.
Last year for my birthday my son made me breakfast in bed. We had a long period where things seemed to have calmed down, and I was hoping my son was back to normal. I ended up in the hospital. He had ground up a light bulb and sprinkled the bits in the orange juice. It's amazing I didn't die.
He was sent to a juvenile care facility after that, and he's been there ever since. I visit him every week, and I get a write up from the facility on his behavior. He's a model child, and he apologizes to them all the time for what happened to me. He says it was just a big mistake and he saw someone do it on TV. They say he can be returned to my care soon, possibly in time for Christmas, but definitely by February.
I am going to attempt to keep him locked up in that facility and eventually a mental care home forever. No father should have to say that, but it's true. I do not know what went wrong with my child. It is not just mental illness, it's evil.
quote:I haven't slept in 3 days and do this pretty routinely to maximize my days off.
I bought Xenoblade Chronicles on Friday and got kinda hooked. Started an all nighter on Saturday and well, I haven't slept since then. I can do work okay since it's just mindless physical labor. Slightly more concerning is the fact that I'm not hungry at all, and can barely choke down a piece of string cheese or some applesauce for my meals. I'm still pooping though, so all's good.
I'll try to go to sleep tonight after work but no promises. My record befoer this was 5 days at the end the silverwae was talking to me lol
|
|
#
¿
Jun 4, 2016 10:24
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:There are a lot of jokes on this site about being a virgin being so bad. I'm hear to tell you that it's awesome - just depends what you make of it.
I was really promiscuous in my teen years. Did a lot of drinking, smoking cigarettes and jazz cigarettes, and even had sex. With several guys.
However I fell in love with a guy who was from the Mormon church. He helped me convert and I got my virginity back through a lot of prayer, hard work, and dedication. Now we are in a committed non physical (at least until we get married) relationship. It is the best relationship of my life, and I know sex is just waiting for me on my wedding night. I also haven't had alcohol or tobacco since me met, and only had one jazz cigarette a few weeks after we met and never since.
For anyone feeling lonely - I suggest you check out the Mormon church. It is the best thing that ever happened to me.
quote:I planned to surprise my parents by taking off work early, driving to their house, and setting up the new home theater system my dad had bought.
When I opened the front door my Dad already had the system installed. He was playing 2 Live Crew and singing "Heeeeeeyyyy we want some pussy!". My dad is a 58 year old white man. I have never been so proud of him in my life. When he saw me he fumbled with the remote and shut it off really quick.
quote:I make up fake "inspirational" stories and post them on facebook, twitter, etc etc etc.
I went to eat at Denny's the other day for lunch. When I got back to the office I took the guest receipt and in the tip wrote "God bless you and your family - here is $100!". Then I made up a story online that I was at Denny's and the waitress started crying because she couldn't afford a toy her son wanted for Christmas. I felt so bad that I tipped every last penny I had.
In reality I had a pretty good meal, didn't talk to the waitress much, and tipped 12% of my bill. I don't even think a tip written out like that would be accepted.
I posted this on facebook and it currently has 712 likes, and has been shared by almost every one of my facebook friends with messages like "CHRISTMAS SPIRIT IN ACTION!".
A while back I made my local news for one of my stories. I made up a story about befriending an old woman when I walked to the bus after work, and talking to her every day since she said she was all alone. She wasn't there one day and I found out she passed away. So instead I put flowers on her grave every weekend since nobody else would. I posted a stock photo of a grave with some flowers, but people ate it up.
Well guess what? The whole story is bullshit. When the news wanted to interview me I had to hunt through the obituaries for an old woman who died recently and was buried nearby, then I put a bunch of flowers on her grave. When the news filmed we went to that cemetery and they filmed me laying down the flowers on the grave of someone I never met. I've never been to the place since, obviously.
In reality I live a pretty boring life, which is why I do this.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 4, 2016 16:51
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
I like dogs though. Post pictures of Newfoundland dogs immediately or I will rat you out.
Hey, why should it be one or the other?
You're more than welcome to post dog pics here.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 4, 2016 20:20
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:Yesterday I was reading the PYF schadenfreude thread and someone posted a video of a chubby blonde wisconsin girl who was listing the top ten reasons to gently caress a dog. It was mentioned that she had a tumblr, so I went on it. My confession is that I'm now kind of obsessed with her. I've jerked off to her masturbation videos twice already. If I lived in/near Wisconsin I would seriously offer her at least 200 bucks to get into her dog-ravaged hole with no regrets (and I'm pretty sure she'd take me up on it).
Something about the fact that she is so depraved that she'll gently caress her own dog (and even black dudes too if you scroll down far enough) really turns me on. Probably because deep down I know that that type of girl is probably the only type that would ever have consensual sex with me.
quote:I own a small but successful restaurant in a major US city. I'm able to pay everyone there competitive wages, remodel the place every so often, throw special events to drive up business, and still take a salary of over $100k a year.
But all the food we serve is microwaved stuff reheated and re-plated. We had a food critic in shortly after opening and I got the call at home. I told them just do their thing. The critic ordered the lasagna and he got it - a Stouffer's lasagna heated in the oven with some Wal-mart shredded cheese sprinkled on it. He gave our restaurant the highest rating in his write-up.
I realize it would be cheaper to make the food from scratch but A) Nobody I hired can cook and B) I'm hesitant to screw with what's working. Between the amazing margins I'm making (each customer makes me roughly $24, not including alcohol or appetizers or desserts. if they go whole hog with 2 drinks, an app, and a dessert I'm making closer to $60 a person) and the relative lack of effort, I think I've found a winning formula.
quote:I broke up with my girlfriend after months of arguing over one thing that seems petty - tipping.
I believe in always tipping at least 15% unless service is exceptionally bad, and will tip as much as I feel like. She believed 15% was only for completely perfect above average service.
Every time we went out to eat we would argue over this. I bought the food and believed the tip was my right. She would always grab some of the money I left and discretely put it in her purse.
The final breakup happened after an excellent meal at a BBQ place. The waiter was awesome - got us refills before we had to ask, explained things on the menu to the both of us, and even let my girlfriend try the different types of BBQ sauce to see what she liked most. At the end the bill came and I planned to tip really generously.
My girlfriend goes "That guy sucked, he kept hovering over us way too much" and wanted to leave just 2 bucks (on a 70 dollar bill). I calmly explained that he was just helping us out and deserved a good tip, and left him 30 dollars. As we got up to leave she tried to grab the 20. I caught her, told her to put it back, and we left in silence.
On the ride home she didn't say a word. At home she went right up to bed and locked the door behind her. I slept on the couch. The next day I told her why I felt the way I did (grew up poor, worked a lot of jobs like that, barely made ends meet and struggled to make it through school and better myself). She just laughed in my face.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 4, 2016 20:21
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:Outwardly, I seem like a normal guy. I have a good job, I keep myself in shape, I don't watch anime or play too many video games. I don't even watch those Avenger movies, unless I end up going with somebody who wants to see them. I'm not a nerd, and no one sees me as one.
But I have memorized the opening narration from the Flash and Arrow TV shows. The "my name is Oliver Queen/Barry Allen" part. They change it every season, and I know them all, all four Arrow opening and both Flash openings. I also know the on they used for the one episode when Oliver joined the League of Assassins and the two minor variants that they did in The Flash but I don't care about those. It's the six main openings that are the problem.
If it was just thoughts in my head, that would be fine, nobody would ever know. The problem is that I have to say one out loud before I go to the gym. I did it once as a joke, but then I had the best workout of my life. Now if I don't do it I feel weak and unmotivated. I've tried to force myself to go to the gym without saying the opening from the Arrow or the Flash like normal people do, but I ended up feeling like a baby slug, and gave up halfway through my workout.
I do it in the car when I get there, so I always try to park between two big trucks or SUV so people won't see me talking to myself in the car. I can't just whisper it either, I have to say it forcefully. I don't have a pattern, whichever opening pops into my head at the time is what I go with that day.
I'm terrified that everybody will find out, and think I'm some kind of psycho nerd. It's just one weird thing I do, beyond that I'm a totally normal person, and I've gotten pretty good gains since I started, but it's so weird I know everyone will think about me differently if they knew.
When I say one of the openings, I always replace "Barry Allen" or "Oliver Queen" with my own name.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 5, 2016 07:24
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:My wife died in late April at the age of 35 (cancer). We had two daughters, now 12 and 9 years old and trying to be strong for them and help them through it is becoming unbearable. None of us are handling it well but I have to pretend I am for them and also at work so I don't lose my job. My confession is that I think every day about sending the kids to their grandparents' place for a while so I can have a break from it all and deal with my own problems, but I feel like I'd be abandoning the kids when they need me most. On the other hand, I feel like I'm going to snap and go insane if I keep this up much longer. I'd never say it out loud because I love them very much, but sometimes I wish we never had children just because of how terrible it is watching them go through this at those ages while their inept father tries and fails to figure out how to help them.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 5, 2016 12:18
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
So are we just burning through the last ones you had our do you still get them from time to time? Just wondering since we're trying to keep this clandestine how we're gonna get more confessions.
Good to see it back though!
I'll slowly spread the word around. Everyone here are encouraged to do the same. There are already new confessions.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 5, 2016 18:28
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:Hi guys, WWE wrestler Kane aka Glenn Jacobs here again. I am still an active poster in Rowdy Ringsports and recently YCS. Last summer when this thread was going on, I promised that I would make an inside reference to SA on Monday Night RAW. Normally I'm one of the guys that gets a little freedom to go off-script here and there. Unfortunately that night they scripted me 100% and said no deviations were allowed and I was allowed no promo time after. I have been off TV now for several months, but I'm still on the house show schedule. I get some promo time at house shows and have been making references to SA for a while now. I'm kinda surprised that no one has posted about it in the WWE thread. So if you want confirmation that I am really a goon, buy a ticket the next time WWE is in town for a house show! Trump 2016
|
|
#
¿
Jun 5, 2016 18:38
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
yes.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 6, 2016 10:10
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
Love him or hate him, Kitchner was very active in the thread and he deservs to be part of this one as well.
Hopefully the million invites I sent in the last few hours will create a nice balance of posters.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 6, 2016 10:59
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
anybody wanna fess up the url to the old thread
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3726205
|
|
#
¿
Jun 6, 2016 15:54
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:The "get beefy bitch"guy has infected my brain and now I find in certain situations, like when I'm struggling to pick up something heavy, I'll catch myself muttering "come on you little pissbitch, pick it up" then chortling to myself. Sometimes the expressions just randomly pop into my head and I'll accidentally laugh out loud inappropriately.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 6, 2016 15:55
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:All of my friends think I am a fairly typical mid 20s liberal white guy who will vote for Bernie Sanders. In reality I am pretty close to a fascist. I have zero sympathy for immigrants who are economic drains on society. Im not racist, but some cultures are inherently inferior to others. I think we live in a society that is slowly loosing the ability to follow reasonable rules, and a little bit of fascism might help people get their priorities strait.
The Hungarian government has the right idea.
quote:Back in college I was renting a room in a place that had an addition done at some point. The oddity this created was there was a window in my room that had the new bedroom put in on the other side of it. Later in my stay my roommate's sister started living back there. So like any proper rear end in a top hat I tried to peak and record her naked back there. Thankfully nothing ever came of it cause I was too chicken poo poo to really get a view through the blinds there other than the tiny holes for the string that holds it all together.
I'm not really proud of this for the record.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 7, 2016 00:24
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:Glad to see this thread back. Well, as I've made a confession in the last two might as well check back in. I'm the anon who has a...problem with monkies. Some things have come up. Nothing with my friend and doing poo poo cross border. Not anymore. The wife found out. Nothing much though, just saw one of the Chinese zoo videos. I linked it before, little deformed and abused child thrashing around. It's still up I think. Told her a friend sent it to me as a gross out or whatever. I wish there was something interesting to tell you like I've evolved into some sadosexual thing where I can only get hard looking at lab monkies but no luck. I do still get that rush watching the fear full their eyes as they scream and flail in their cage. The insane circular pacing as they've gone insane from isolation. The hairless little thing clinging to a hoop of wire and cloth. I'm getting off point. She reminded me why I love her. After commenting about how the video was hosed up she followed up by saying how although it's sad she does hate monkies. They freak her out. I imagined her there with me in the desert with my friend, taking a shovel to a screaming capuchin, reveling in that same dark disgust.. We hosed in the living room, how could I not. The thought of sharing only a small ounce of that secret hate pulled at something inside me. We find love in the little things I guess. Not loving monkies though. Wretched little things. Going south again soon. Mostly for business. If anything happens I'll let you know. Poor baby monkey.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 7, 2016 22:56
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:I was the one who made the "I cucked Lowtax" confession that got the old thread closed. Yeah, I was pulling everyone's leg with it obviously but at the same time Lowtax's response to it seemed like he took it oddly personal. Anyway I don't feel bad about getting the thread closed, it was too beautiful for this world.
Also I'm famous WWE wrestler Brock Lesnar.
quote:Hey anonymous confession thread. I have sinned.
I used a hook up site and went out with a fat girl with bad face today. Her profile pics were super touched up. I'm currently writing this from my phone at a wal mart parking lot airing out my car from the smell of her nasty rear end and puss. We attempted to gently caress cause I make horrible life decisions but her fat folds were too epic. I was nice and said I'd text her but I won't. I've already gotten rid of my profile on that site and found her Facebook and blocked it. I'm really afraid this will come back to bite me in the rear end somehow. I feel nothibg but hatred for myself in this moment. Forgive me, SA, for I have sinned
|
|
#
¿
Jun 12, 2016 17:04
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:(For some reason Guerrillamail.com wasn't loading for me earlier so I tried a different anonymous mail client to send this...I'll send it again here in case you didn't receive it earlier.)
I could have just posted in the thread as lil pissbitch since that's already a known alias of my "anonymous" confession about gettin' beefy and whatnot (which I still do a LOT)...but I thought it'd be more fun as an anonymous confession, given the spirit of the thread. I wanted to take an opportunity to just sort of write about my anonymous confession from last year and the effect it has had on my online presence, as well as just my life in general I guess.
To start, I wanted to address something that someone said in this thread about it being weird that I think my compulsions are weird. First of all...they are. If you can find some way to read it again (all of it, not just the parts that often get quoted) I think you'll find it to be pretty goddamn weird. Sure I probably didn't need to care so much about that information being linked to my original username (more on that in a moment) but I have to ask you to try to contextualize the info. Ya gotta remember, this wasn't just something I shared to try to be funny. I literally say, out loud, "Get beefy bitch" without really understanding why, and that's truly just the tip of the iceberg. It's a funny thought, but what if, when you held a conversation with your boss, you had to occasionally suppress the urge to ask her to get REAL beefy?
"Excuse me, ma'am, but do you think that maybe you should just get ..reeeal beefy you lil queefer bitch?"
It's a funny thought or whatever, but I promise you it's 100% a real struggle in my life. In other words, it's something I hide from society as a whole, thus the desire to post something like that anonymously.
Second of all, and I won't pretend for a second that I planned it like this, but the way things happened was a perfect storm. In my wildest dreams I never could have predicted the response it ended up getting on SA, nearly becoming some sort of gay retarded meme...hell, every now and then I'll still search the forums for one of those stupid rear end phrases like 'get beefy bitch' or 'pissbitch', and find someone using them in a post on some subforum I've never even posted in. Everything in the original confession is 100% true, but I did spend about 2-3 hours writing the post, editing it in a way I found to be amusing and informative. It's so weird, because I know that if I would have published my post as a new thread under my original username, it would have been buried on Page 2 within 24 hours. Despite that, you gotta believe me when I say that I had no idea it would take that kind of hold with the GBS/SA hivemind that it did. Like I said I've had a lot of time to think about all of this retroactively. But...as I've posted before, I'd be lying if I said it didn't just tickle me to death. I'm retroactively and intensely proud of all of it.
Which brings me to my next point. Even if nobody else gives a poo poo, I love having a secret identity. For years I'd contemplated registering a parachute account in order to shitpost more freely without worrying as much about a link to the real me, since I'm pretty sure a dedicated internet detective could easily link my primary SA account to my real life social media accounts, and my real life career is 100% Internet based. But now I can regularly post as lil pissbitch without worrying about hurting my online rep. I sometimes wonder if anyone could deduce from the lil pissbitch post history what my primary account is. I feel there are clues there, but I doubt anyone would give enough of a poo poo to link the accounts, which is just fine by me.
So I dunno. This Dog Series thread has been a bit dull, so I wanted to contribute to spice things up a bit and provide a little insight into the Beefy Guy's perspective on things. I've had a lot of time to think about it all and I've generated a lot of thoughts on the whole weird-rear end mini-phenomenon that came about as a result of my original anon confession over a year ago, and now I'm kinda buzzed on a Thursday so I thought I might share some of my thoughts with this thread.
PS: BigBadSteve made a post about Getting Beefy that I felt perfectly personified the mentality behind the compulsion and I'd like to share it with you now in case you missed it:
"Your disturbance makes me happy, since I'd like nothing more than to see these wonderful phrases to take over SA Forums, they are easily the funniest and most transformative things seen here this year. First SA Forums, then we get REAL beefy with the world, bitch.
You've recovered from your peeing stage-fright condition, due to using the famous "C'mon you lil pissbitch" mantra. Cured of a problem you'd no doubt experienced for years beforehand. But do we hear the slightest gratitude toward the original anonymous "Get beefy bitch" confession poster? None at all. You sound like an ungrateful li'l whine bitch.
The problem with your use of the other powerful phrases is you. Saying "Get beefy bitch" almost always works. When it very occasionally fails, saying "Get REAL beefy bitch" like you mean it invariably works. These phrases have radically changed many lives for the better. They're not working for you because (1) you're not saying it like you mean it, and (2) you're not doing anything useful you could get REAL beefy about. You're just emptily parroting the phrases.
Sitting on your fat rear end staring at the Forums all day does not qualify as acting. Nor does neurotic worrying about whether you're saying too much "Piss, you lil pissbitch", "Get beefy bitch" and "Get REAL beefy bitch."
Decide to do something useful, and just before you actually do it, tell yourself to "Get beefy bitch!" If that doesn't cause you to act beefy enough, quickly order yourself to "Get REAL beefy bitch!!!" Note the very strong emphasis on the "REAL". Hopefully I'm not waxing too philosophical when I say that you need to "Get REAL beefy bitch!!" about saying "Get beefy bitch" and especially about saying "Get REAL beefy bitch!!".
Real Beefy Rx: Follow this advice and you will get REAL beefy, and be glad you did. Then repeat for the rest of your long, happy, BEEFY productive life.
Hope I haven't hurt your feelings too much with the truth, but someone had to get REAL beefy with you.
tldr: Get REAL beefy and read it all, bitch."
----------
EDIT: Just stumbled across what appears to be a 4chan subreddit where someone (gnarlyhotep?!) crossposted selections from my anonymous confession about 6 months ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/4chan/comments/3vt0b4/anon_likes_to_get_real_beefy/
How surreal...
|
|
#
¿
Jun 18, 2016 10:13
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
Hey H.H., have you asked the mods if you can bring this back to GBS? In sure they wouldn't care so long as you don't release really stupid confessions. Or ones about loving the owners pregnant wife.
I just did. Hopefully it doesn't raise the ire of the powers that be and it will be moved soon.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 18, 2016 10:29
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:I recognize that this is an extremely silly issue to have, but nonetheless:
I am married, and I love my wife. I have a steady job which I enjoy greatly, and a mutually respectful working relationship with my boss. My family is loving and supportive and we talk frequently. I am part of a number of (real life) communities based on shared interests/hobbies, and am well respected in those communities.
My confession is that I have a rather unusual fetish, and I experience some serious unhappiness about it. It's more common than you might think, but still pretty weird. My fetish is for oviposition-- for women to be captured by monsters, penetrated by an ovipositor, and have eggs laid in their womb. They then carry these eggs to term and give birth to monstrous children. I particularly focus on scenarios involving driders: a creature with the upper body of a beautiful woman, but below the waist, a spider body. (I recognize that ovipositors are typical of wasps and not spiders, but apparently this whole drider thing is pretty common). I love scenarios where a drider captures an adventuress, spins her up in a web, then fills her up with eggs. I should say here that my wife knows all about my fetish and is supportive, though obviously there's not really anything we can do about it. I try to avoid online communities dedicated to it because they often have a pretty morbid twist, like the spiders or whatever eat their way out of the woman, and in my fantasies it's always a very maternal, nurturing experience where the woman grows to love her monster babies and raises them.
Anyways, there's plenty of art dedicated to this fetish, though most of it isn't very good. There's not really a lot of hentai of it, though I tend to enjoy hentai with belly expansion. I don't jerk off much these days, but my wife understands that sometimes this is what I'm in the mood for. I find inflation/expansion stuff pretty gross and nonsexual. It has to specifically be oviposition, or sometimes monsters that cum torrents and make a woman's belly expand that way. She has to specifically look pregnant.
So, where I'm going with this is the real confession part. Sometimes I get deeply, miserably depressed that I can never really be a drider and do this in real life. I wish so hard sometimes that these fantasy worlds were real and I could go there and be a drider. I get very despondent realizing that this is not possible, and I fantasize about a future where genetic engineering, robot bodies or existence on a massive virtual reality allow this to happen. If a sentient AI existed, that would even be enough, because she would be a person for all intents and purposes and the "world" in which she lived could be programmed to make my fetish possible; to me it would be figures on a screen, but to her it would be real, and that would work for me.
My wife has tried to help and suggest that we role play, or even get one of those expensive weird dildos that's an ovipositor, but role play doesn't work. It just reminds me that I can't really do this and I am not really a drider. I doubt buying expensive props would change that. It's not like I can't get off without this. It's just something that occasionally bothers me more than it probably should.
I just really, really wish I could be a half-woman half-spider and capture beautiful adventurers in my web to carry my spawn 
|
|
#
¿
Jun 19, 2016 18:39
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
Here's a confession I was asked to post in another thread (http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?noseen=0&threadid=3762804&perpage=40&pagenumber=43#post461442504):
quote:Sears comes up a lot for good reason, and I work for their network provider. We just got the word from on high yesterday that, due to over 2 million Dollars in unpaid bills, we're putting a complete freeze on any and all work for them. Any pending orders for new service (yes, somehow Sears is still trying to open new stores in 2016) are being put on hold or cancelled outright, and any existing sites are having their monitoring disabled with any pending repair work also being cancelled. Any and all questions, comments or complaints are being referred back to Sears corporate. H.H fucked around with this message at 22:47 on Jun 25, 2016
|
|
#
¿
Jun 25, 2016 21:44
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
Betamax graciously moved the thread to GBS.
Hello to all new readers.
Please send in your confessions, we'll gladly provide advice and/or ridicule.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 7, 2016 08:49
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
I would say I'm willing to combine the two and get dog confessions, but that will lure Morally Inept here and no one wants that.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 7, 2016 09:30
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
Folks, what should we ask LadyAmbien to change the thread title to?
|
|
#
¿
Jul 8, 2016 00:21
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:babyfur/cub fur stuff is actually really fun, i can understand hating the community cause its full of creeps and weirdos just like furry community as a whole but theres just something comforting and nice about relaxing with a diaper on suckin on a binky cuddling a qt fox plushie and watching some dumb kid cartoons
quote:Forgive me sa, it's been never since my last confession.
I'm a normal goon. Slightly better built than most and happily married in a good town and a great job. It sucks. I'm surrounded by Bernie voters and Hillary shills and generally people of weak character and physical build. Big gay community too which is mostly pudgy arts bachelor. I was a tolerant guy but recently all I can see is weakness in other people and myself. It disgusts me. Hurrr I don't eat meat, coexist, love wins they fill me with a primal disgust that I can't describe. I was listening to some dipshit talk about how white men are the real villains and that poo poo like the Orlando shooting is our fault and I almost snapped. I wanted nothing more than to brain the fellow, rip him apart and eat him in front of his fellow weaklings. It wouldn't be hard, the until now gentle chap most likely hasn't fought or really even physically exerted himself beyond a jog in his life. I've never really felt violent before but now there's this urge. Everywhere I see conflict I want to go and kill and eat. It's almost always leftist poo poo that triggers it. Someone posted a HAES image on Facebook and all I could think of was roasting that ham and how delicious her meat would be from all the fat. I see the weak everywhere now and it takes almost everything to not lose control. I've been working out more to help but it only stokes the fire. Is this what Nordic ancestors felt? The contempt for those lesser than you? A predatory urge. I wait for the day someone actually confronts me and I can savage them and call it self defense. It's not even hate, it's hunger. Sex life is great a least. Hardest boner I've had since being a teenager. There have to be other people like this. Roast some millennial hipsters along side some lovely boomers. The whining gets louder every day.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 8, 2016 00:24
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:I'm a somewhat well-known poster. I met my girlfriend on Whisper, not on OkCupid like I tell everyone. It happened after I messaged her about a post asking if anyone had any experience being knotted. We both love that idea and are planning to eventually get a dog together. Nobody else knows. I pretend to like cats more, but both of us know just how much we want to get hosed silly by a big, wolf-like fluffy dog.
quote:I'm a teacher and it never ceases to amaze me how hosed up education is in the US. Imagine going into a profession wanting to help people only to start hating everything about it in less than five years. There are a lot of people who go into education to do good, but there's also quite a few who are well meaning idiots and often cause more problems than they solve. It doesn't surprise me why there's so much burn out, it's impossible to do the job well without killing yourself in the process. Unless you're lucky enough to get into a decent district.
So many parents have no loving clue what to do with their kids and either enable the gently caress out of them into special little snowflakes or ignore poo poo they do because they don't want to be bothered. Yeah, they might care about their kids, but most of the time parents don't have the balls to actually parent. I truly wish it were possible for the state to take kids away from parents who can't handle their poo poo (more so than current systems).
In teaching classes, much of what I end up seeing usually is students not willing to work for any number of reasons; but by my estimate at least 50% of those are truly just lazy or being enabled by parents into learned helplessness. It is true that there are students who truly need extra help, but there's a lot who are just gaming the system. I'm sorry but missing at least 2 days a week all year it not a disability and no matter how bad your situation, going to school should be a priority. For gently caress's sake, there are kids in Africa who have it way worse off and yet walk +10 miles a day to get an education, you can get your lazy rear end off the sofa and put down the video game to learn something for a few hours a day. Having taught middle and high school, it becomes very obvious in a short span of time who is going to be working dead end jobs or end up in jail later on in life. The number of psychos I've had to deal with, having no access to resources or alternatives is criminal in my opinion. I've spent tons of money out of my pocket to try and do things for students and the public treats us like poo poo. Half the time I want to spit in their faces when they start bitching how I didn't give their special snowflake special treatment (read: enabling them to get a good grade for no work). I dunno...maybe turn in your work like everyone else and actually earn your grades?? It's unbelievable the bullshit that parents try to justify that is somehow my fault.
The hosed up part is that I do truly care about teaching, have a real love for my subject, and want students to be successful. But with the state of education, it's a complete nightmare to go to work most days. I get paid 50% of what I'd be paid in a better district. The only thing that keeps me in education are the few times I'm actually able to reach a student, but 90% of it I could walk away from in a heartbeat if I didn't need some kind of job. I hate that I can't imagine doing anything else, yet hate it so much.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 8, 2016 06:06
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:If it weren't for CJacobs and his friend Fae I would not have amassed a collection of toys. By toys I mean anthropomorphic dildos. I'm not even joking. So this is probably the closest way to say thanks, your dong chat about where to buy dargon dildos is pretty helpful.
quote:Education chat reminded me I should share this for the gently caress of it.
I was homeschooled, and I guess homeschooling is alright. Except if you're one of the few who fell through the cracks, like me.
Here's some poo poo that went on til I was 18.
Pulled from public school from 2nd grade
Rarely worked for more than three or four hours a day, every day.
You know all those 'classic novels' like moby dick or scarlet letter? Yeah, never read them.
I had my own laptop for some reason--though no internet [thankfully??]--so I'd watch a lot of movies instead of doing school type poo poo.
Never wrote an essay. At all. Ever. Kind of hosed when I got to community college and was faced with 'wtf is double spacing? How do use microsoft word?'
A Beka books. Not actually informational, but that didn't stop my mom from using them.
We did bible studies more than science, art, etc. She'd quiz me on poo poo that happened in the bible, like giving mini paper exams.
Never did homework. Or turned in homework. When I did I'd just do unruly scrawl in between legit words and she'd just accept it.
Homework consisted of filling out biblical quizes, copying answers from the ends of chapters from 'school books'. [Again, never wrote an essay or read novels, did science experiements, etc. or had to do critical thinking.]
Had no friends. Never was signed up for extra curricular poo poo like sports teams, scout camp, etc. So I rarely interacted with anyone not a family member.
Never learned math, by the way. Kind of surprised and hosed when college classes expected you to know poo poo like multiplication.
My own aunt called me 'socially inept' which I thought was cruel, but honestly she was right. I've gotten better, I swear. You can't fault me for not know social poo poo when I've been isolated as gently caress.
I graduated myself from 'high school'. Like, from about 17-18 yo I did no homework, schoolbook reading and the like so why the gently caress not.
Oh, and unrelated to the homeschooling thing: she'd phsyically drag me across the house [from living room, through the hallway, to the backyard door and back] because... reasons? I guess I was misbehaving, can't remember. I've also been beaten with an extension cord, tv remote, and wooden spatula, among other things. She's also thrown things at me, like heavy pots, costco sized bottle of ketchup, etc. And screamed a lot.
My older sister was homeschooled too, with p much the same experience. Today she's a self declared asexual with zero friends, a room full of sailor moon collectibles, dildos, and a fear of men [bc tumblr taught her that among other die cis scum thinking and poo poo]. Goons told me she was most likely raped, but that's kind of impossible when a) she's rarely been without me or my mother's company, and b) never goes outside anyways. [Dad is kind of out of the picture so. And it's doubtful my mom's a pedo, just really hosed up in other ways.]
tl;dr christian homeschooler mother hosed up my education and attempted to softcore 'genie the feral child' her own offspring. It's been a long road to unfuck myself. I contemplate suicide a lot in the meantime.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 10, 2016 04:20
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:chubby guys are very cute!!!!! also nice avatar H.H but have you thought of getting a reginald avatar
quote:I've been cutting myself for the past two years. It's gotten worst. I have scars now. I keep drinking and getting high to help but when I'm sober I want to die. I have a girlfriend that loves me and knows what it's happening but I'm gonna eventually kill myself and everyone is gonna forget about me.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 10, 2016 15:04
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
Two things w/r/t to these last two confessions:
1. WTF is a Reginald avatar?
2. Can someone link me to the US suicide prevention hotline (and maybe the UK one too) so I can put it in the OP? I feel like there will be more of these confessions down the road.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 10, 2016 15:07
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:I have become convinced that my parents are or were KGB (or similar) agents who started our family in America as a cover. There is little history of our family that I know of - they claim our grandparents died before we were born, so it got me to thinking. It all adds up - they always pushed socialist views on us as kids and when I went through a brief patriotic phase they were extremely angry about it. They were always really vigilant, overly so, and would drag us out of places back home for seemingly no reason.
On top of all that, when I did get a job with the government with clearance, they were in my opinion unusually interested in it and would poke and prod for details. I've asked them multiple times if they are agents of another government and they just laugh and when they realize I'm serious, they start telling me to go see a psychiatrist for "paranoid delusions". I'd never tell them anything classified, but my confession is I am leaning toward reporting them to the counter-intelligence department, I just don't trust them or anyone in my supposed family anymore.
quote:Everyone who commented:
I'm the teacher goon who confessed earlier about hating education. Sorry, I'm purposely being vague on a few things because I know how easy it is to parse out details. I'm even going to the lengths of writing in an entirely different style.
I wanted to comment back on a few of the things said:
"Just a Job" - Honestly education has been my life for the past ten years. In the course of pursuing education, it's cost me two relationships and I've had to move to multiple states to try and find better positions. Being social studies is a tough gig to get in the door somewhere that's not complete poo poo and I'm not a jock so coaching isn't really an option. I'm a competent teacher, but I'm never going to be a superteacher like many places are expecting. I care about my job and want to do well, but it's become not so much about teaching as being really good at placating people even if teaching quality suffers. I've worked in urban schools (nightmare), rural schools (also a nightmare), suburban (actually nice if I could have gotten a teaching slot but +500 people apply for a single opening), and even a board school (again same problem as suburban). I've even seen school systems in another country which leads me to believe it's not all crap out there...but getting into those good positions are like winning the lottery and I'm not that lucky.
Blame - I'm glad someone noticed that I wasn't blaming the kids. I would place +90% of the blame on parents, the community, and hosed up regulations written by people who don't know what the gently caress they are doing. The kids are products of their environment, pure and simple. Only in about 10% of occasions would I say it's truly the kid that's solely to blame. And I don't think it's just a case of whitewashing the past, because right now I work at a very small school; so I know everyone there and see everyone daily. I'd say about 25% are doing what they are supposed to be doing, 50% are just coasting along, and 25% are truly in need of either serious help or a major kick in the rear end. With a low income percentage of 75% for the whole school, a lot of it is the effect of poverty that I'm dealing with and that's nearly impossible to turn around with the limited resources we have. I'm not cynical about the kids, I loving hate society at this point for making what should be a great job, into a goddamn nightmare.
Parent Advice - ASA, the best advice I can give based on what I see daily: 1. Don't teach your kids learned helplessness. That is to say, don't always come to the rescue, don't solve things for them, give them a chance to fail and learn from it. Way too many kids today won't even try because they learned if they don't, someone will just do it for them. A bit of resiliency goes a long way. 2. Learn to work smarter or deal with working harder. It was reinforced on me from a really young age that if I wanted to do anything beyond busting rear end in a factory, I better go get my education. Having self motivation and ambition is a good thing and will serve kids much more than just settling for less. 3. Don't let them be a douchebag. Seriously, there's no reason to treat others like poo poo. Manners, thoughtfulness, and concern for others are in really short supply (especially in middle school where kids are really poo poo to each other because it's all about self at that age). 4. Don't automatically dismiss what a teacher is calling home about. Yeah, there are some crap teachers out there, but honestly it's a very small percentage and most teachers just want to solve the problem, not listen to a parent try to pass the blame. A little bit of proactiveness on a parent's part can be incredibly helpful and teachers could really use that support from home. 5. Make sure you have consequences and teach your kids that there are rules, deadlines, and consequences in life. 6. Don't get them a ton of electronics until after middle school...make them be kids first. A middle schooler doesn't need a cell phone (or if they absolutely do, get them that calls home only phone) because in reality they are using it +99% of the time to dick around. There's more to life than having your face buried in your phone all the time...you wouldn't believe the number of disciplinary incidents we had this year that involved phones (bullying, drama, theft, etc). And don't loving call/text your kids while in class! For gently caress's sake, they are supposed to be learning...not talking to you. Not everything needs to be dealt with right at that second, it can wait until they get home.
People don't realize this but some of the best ed research out there places only about 30% of student achievement on the school/teachers, with 70% being outside factors like poverty, parents, etc. Yet 100% of accountability is placed on teachers with no accountability for students/parents. That's completely hosed in my opinion. Someone can miss +50 days of school and still it's the teachers fault???
|
|
#
¿
Jul 11, 2016 04:27
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:I'm a gay guy, and that's all fine and dandy.
But I'm beginning to loving despise the LGBT-whatever community + maybe hairs of progressivism, because it seems to be hellbent on skipping over the "G" part in favor of everyone else.
It's pure jealousy, but I keep seeing it pop up all over the place in gaming and it's giving me a complex. There's so many great portrayals of lesbians and lesbian relationships with tons of variety, from mature characters for who it's just a part of who they are to young punks who are feeling out their interests for the very first time - and there's almost nothing like that for gay guys. It's to the point that any time I see yet another lesbian relationship in a game I just get loving mad. Shadowrun: Dragonfall didn't even have any gay guys at all but was more than happy to make a main party member a lesbian, have several discussions about her ex-girlfriend, and a mission where you go and save her, among other things. Oh, and also an incidental lesbian couple in the background of another mission just to rub salt into the wound.
There's also a forums user (a heterosexual male artist) who's custom title is "Why would I draw dudes when I can draw literally anything else" and it also makes me gnash my teeth. It's supposed to be an aggressive snipe at the over representation of males in everything but it just comes off to me as a personal insult for being interested in men while simultaneously trying to come off as progressive despite putting down a sexual minority. gently caress you.
That's about it. Though I would like to know what video CJacobs and Fae talk about buying dragon dildos in.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 12, 2016 05:25
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:I won a lot on the lottery. Like $750,000+ after taxes but I am not going to cash the ticket in until a month and a half from now when my daughter turns 18 so my whore of an ex wife won't get any of the income for child support.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 12, 2016 20:15
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:Trannies are mentally ill faggots & I hate them. I am personally responsible for organising a campaign to run one of those freaks out of my home town. I later learned he had killed himself, all I could do was laugh.
quote:homeschool anon here again.
I know she has a vast amount of dildos because I was helping her move furniture around her room. Apparently she forgot, and when I went to move her mattress a bunch of them fell out. I just went to grab some soda upstairs in the kitchen and let her deal with it.
Oh and some other things I remembered:
Never vaccinated, but not for autism reasons. This was in the nineties, so fairly before the vaccine autism scare. Still not sure of the reason why, honestly.
Grandma was a nurse, so I never went to the hospital. Not even for those ordinary health check ups. Suffered with eczema all my life until I went to a doc and they gave me some poo poo for it. THANKS MOM WOW. Turns out aveeno lotion ain't the same as topical steroids, etc.
Also I'm pretty sure I fractured my arm once, but she still refused the doctor and just gave me advil for the pain. My arm still hurts when it's too cold.
Never took the door off my room, just the knob. Because surprise I kept locking my door and she got pissed about that. Like, buddy. Guess what teens kind of need when they're whacking off? A little insurance no one else is going to walk in.
Didn't let me shower on my own until maybe 13? Definitely after puberty hit. As in, she'd make me get baked, then go into the bathroom to turn the shower on. Insisted on it really. Yup. loving weird and incesty.
Never did halloween, easter, 4th of july, or any major holiday celebrations except christmas. Her reason: well you didn't enjoy it! I dunno man, it's kind of hard to enjoy something when you were never allowed to do it in the first place.
Also my sex ed was literally one pamphlet about menstruation, and reading the a beka book chapter on human sex biology. ...maybe I'm a little grateful I never got an actual 'Talk'.
Please feel free to tell me if this is weird or normal. I have no basis to judge, and I'd rather not admit to the few friends I have that I may be a loving loser with a weird childhood. It's a bit hard to make friends when you've been 'genie the feral child' the entire start of my life. Thanks goons.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 13, 2016 20:52
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:I used to have three female roommates in college. At that point in my life, I'd never been in a relationship with a woman before, much less lived in the same residence as two of them my age, and they were all somewhere on the higher end of attractiveness. I pretty much jacked it to thoughts of them the entire time we were roommates. I jacked it when one of them was banging their boyfriend in their bedroom and I could hear them through the wall; I jacked it when they were out of the house and I smelled their rooms from the hallway; I jacked it after we went swimming with our friends; I jacked it after one of them asked me to look for her makeup bag in her room because she thought she might have misplaced it; I jacked it while stuffing one of their shirts in my face after one of them left it in the apartment before moving out. I'm ashamed of it but those were the best orgasms of my life.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 14, 2016 17:05
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:I don't keep many drinks in my house, and when I had friends over once I bought some cans of Diet Coke for them.
They liked it, and have come to expect cans of Diet Coke whenever they visit my house.
In order to save money, washing up, and explaining, I instead buy large bottles of Diet Coke in bulk, then pour them into existing cans, before offering them to my friends "pre-opened".
I feel terrible.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 20, 2016 15:09
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:July 3rd. A few years back.
I went to a coworkers 4th of July beach party. Let's call him Lenny. Lenny was the nicest, friendliest, albeit slightly flamboyant friend you could have. I'd been working with him for 8 years and we had become good buddies.
His wife, Jessica, was a bit of a fox. And there had always been rumors in our company about her getting around. I always thought it was just folks busting Lenny's chops, as we were all want to to do, but a part of me always secretly fantasized about her. Something about being the off-limits older milf I guess.
At this party I got blackout drunk. There was a point where my friend, John, drove me to buy more cigs and Jess came along. I sat on her lap and we made out the whole time. Heavy petting ensued. John, a true friend, thought this was all very hilarious.
We got back to the party and more drinking. I started yelling racial slurs at the neighbors. It was decided that it would be best for everyone if I went inside and took a break. So Jess took me in and put me in her bed where I proper passed out for hours.
I awake at 1 AM. Jess is on top of me. She tells me Lenny is passed out down stairs on the living room couch, and from there we get it on. A bunch. This is when I learned Lenny was more of a 30 second man while my whiskey dick was going, and going, and going despite my best efforts. As whiskey dick is want to do.
Though I would later claim I was drunk and coerced, I knew exactly what I was doing, and I wanted it. In fact, it was exactly what I had hoped would happen from the beginning. Living out a fantasy. Banging my coworkers wife. The mother of his 3 children.
Except it wrecked me. I couldn't face Lenny. Rumors spread at work quick and I stopped showing up, throwing away a promising IT career. The guilt was extreme. I ended up getting committed for a few days to a local psych ward. Counselors and staff there tried to convince me that it sounded like rape, and I played along, but I knew all along that events that night played out exactly as I wanted them to.
And given the chance, I'd do it all again.
quote:i got a bj before i started masturbating at around 16. i looked at porn i just didn't know i was supposed to rub it so i just sat looking at porn with a boner for an hour or w/e.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 21, 2016 05:24
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:My mom looks like terry gross but shes 2 years younger. Even the young photos are incredibly similar
quote:i'm furry af
yes, jerking it to anthropomorphic animal characters is a huge part of it, but there's more than just that i think. like, tumblr is a pile of poo poo but i think there may be something to this 'trans species' idea.
put it this way -- you know when the movie avatar came out people were suicidal because they couldnt live in such a beautiful world? well i watched zootopia, and my depression had a loving field day!!
despite all this i think people who dress up in fursuits are god drat weirdos... but maybe i'm jealous that they have friends they can enjoy this poo poo with. i cant talk to anyone about it.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 22, 2016 14:44
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
¿
Apr 27, 2024 19:54
|
|
- H.H
- Oct 24, 2006
-
August is the Cruelest Month
|
quote:I am an alcoholic. I drink by myself almost every night after my family goes to sleep and if I can't, I try to go to sleep as early as possible to avoid dealing with it once 11 PM or so rolls around and it hits me that I'm sober. I can go one or two nights without it if I run out but after that, I start to freak out and think about it constantly. I've been in denial about this for a long time but I finally realized it last month.
Last month, my wife and kid were at her parents' house to visit for a week but I couldn't go because I had to work. She accidentally took my wallet with her which had all my cash, my debit card, and my I.D. in it. I began to panic when I realized I was going to go five days without alcohol. I briefly considered stealing twenty bucks or so from work as I have a foolproof way of getting away with it but didn't because holy poo poo what's wrong with me and also because I didn't have an ID. Like, full on freaking the gently caress out and it's when I realized that I was not behaving like a normal person. So I didn't drink.
Unfortunately for me, my wife was oblivious to my problem and thought she'd be nice and pick me up a bottle of rum on her way home because she knew I didn't have any. I poured it out in front of her, thanked her for giving me the opportunity to actively choose sobriety, and immediately regretted my decision but I haven't drank since then. She was shocked but happy. Maybe I'm not an alcoholic and am just on my way there but I still feel awful at night like life is meaningless unless I'm drunk. Alcohol never affected my daytime life in any way but I imagine most alcoholics don't jump from being a social drinker to being drunk at noon overnight.
I suppose this isn't a very juicy confession since it's more of a victory but I don't feel like sharing that I'm an alcoholic with anyone else, especially before I even have a chance to succeed or fail. I don't think I'll need to avoid alcohol entirely in the future but I don't plan on ever keeping it in my home again.
Also somewhat relevant: I was diagnosed with bipolar II a few years ago. My father had bipolar I and my grandfather had either I or II. Both were alcoholics. Both committed suicide. Here's to not continuing a family tradition.
quote:A few months ago, I became obsessed with a lady who had her nude pictures leaked online. The word "perfect" could not capture this woman's beauty. After I dug up her personal info, I briefly considered quitting my job and moving nearer to where she lives. I quickly came to my senses, but I still dream about her (literally).
I live near a college town. I've been considering crashing some parties to get laid, but I can't decide if it's worth the effort or risk. I'm terrified one of them will reflexively scream "rape" and ruin my life. For now I'm sticking to locals on Tinder.
I'm beginning to resent all my friends. Half of them are garden variety elitist white-bred assholes, and the other half are what I call "consumerist justice warriors" who devote all their attention to how many women or non-hetero people are portrayed in the media they consume. I'm a person who believes the answer usually lies somewhere in the middle, and I always feel like I'm the one who's willing to consider another view or concede to an argument. It's all pointless banter anyway when no one really cares about citing research or data to back themselves up. I really want to sever, but I'm afraid of losing long time relationships so I just put up with it.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 23, 2016 13:40
|
|
Note for suicidal confessions
#
¿
Jun 3, 2016 08:16
