"Anonymous Confessions: The legend of pissbitch".

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > "Anonymous Confessions: The legend of pissbitch".

Kitchner: Nov 9, 2012; IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER; Clapping Larry

quote:

I work as a manager in a distribution center and every single one of my employees is black. I'm white. I get along with everyone and earned the nicknames "White Thunder" and "Fat Daddy", and had the highest manager approval rating in the entire country. My DC is located in a pretty poor neighborhood, so this job means a lot to the guys and they work hard to make sure we never have to cut anybody's position.

The sad fact is I was offered a much higher paying, cushier job with corporate due to my excellent performance. I would move to a nicer city, get paid a lot more, and have way better benefits and stock options. I was ready to sign the papers and start the relocation until they let me talk to the guy they handpicked for my replacement.

He was super racist. Like cartoonishly evil. Said that he liked working with "The blacks" because they don't know their own strength and have extra muscles that let them work harder. Then made a joke about buying a KFC in the neighborhood to "double his income". I asked him what kind of improvements he might make, and he said that he'd cut wages for everyone and make sure overtime is eliminated. I did run about 1% overtime, but I don't think anybody could cut that out without being a literal slave master.

I gave up that higher paying job to stay with my guys. I'm only confessing this anonymously because I don't want credit or validation for doing the right thing. But I don't know anyone in real life I could tell this story to and it needs to be said in this current climate.

Regardless of whether this one is real, I definitely 100% would take the promotion in this circumstance, I would try to tell my manager didn't think my replacement would be a good fit, but other then that I'd be out of there.

Guess I'm just a bad person.

# ¿ Jun 5, 2016 03:35

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# ¿ Apr 30, 2024 17:24

Kitchner: Nov 9, 2012; IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER; Clapping Larry

Bill Posters posted:

Did you really invite Kitchener?

Why did you invite Kitchener?

Because you're too dumb to even spell the name of a dude you don't like correctly despite the fact you literally read it 30 seconds ago.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2016 12:21

Kitchner: Nov 9, 2012; IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER; Clapping Larry

VanSandman posted:

That's dumb. Kitchner sucks. This thread sucks. Gonna get wrecked again.

At least you spelt my name right.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2016 12:25

Kitchner: Nov 9, 2012; IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER; Clapping Larry

H.H posted:

To be fair get beefy bitch is a great phrase.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2016 18:19

Kitchner: Nov 9, 2012; IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER; Clapping Larry

HerStuddMuffin posted:

My confession: I was flattered to get an invite to this thread, made me feel special. That's not the hosed up part though. This is: Now that I've read that H.H. invited pretty much everyone, including kitchner, I still feel special.

You should rename this thread Chameleon Series, though.

Trust me dude, you are special.

# ¿ Jun 8, 2016 19:43

Kitchner: Nov 9, 2012; IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER; Clapping Larry

Solice Kirsk posted:

Don't feel bad. We've all had the occasional slump buster. It was a slump buster right?

I told a girl once that she was a slump buster. Luckily she had a sense of humour, especially as it started with baseball players so no one had really heard of the phrase here.

# ¿ Jun 13, 2016 17:46

Kitchner: Nov 9, 2012; IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER; Clapping Larry

Solice Kirsk posted:

So she took it better because it was a sports reference? Think maybe she was a keeper dude.

She just found it funny because she was pretty cool. I just hooked up with her once and then it became a regular thing, but I referred to her as a slump buster to one of my mates and he kept using it so I confessed to her before his fat mouth landed me in it by accident.

She was chubby but she wasn't really fat, had huge tits and she's still in the top 3 girls I've ever slept with years down the line (not that it's a huge list). Sadly she's a bit crazy and that's why we broke up.

Only ex I'm friends with though.

# ¿ Jun 13, 2016 19:36

Kitchner: Nov 9, 2012; IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER; Clapping Larry

Solice Kirsk posted:

She single?

I wish.

# ¿ Jun 14, 2016 17:07

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# ¿ Apr 30, 2024 17:24

Kitchner: Nov 9, 2012; IT CAN'T BE BARGAINED WITH.
IT CAN'T BE REASONED WITH.
IT DOESN'T FEEL PITY, OR REMORSE, OR FEAR.
AND IT ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT STOP, EVER, UNTIL YOU ADMIT YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT WARHAMMER; Clapping Larry

Drunk Nerds posted:

Confession: Every girl I've ever slept with is in the top 4 girls I've ever slept with

Don't worry, I've only got a top 3 because 3 were genuinely great and the others are all varying levels of OK

# ¿ Jun 19, 2016 17:54

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > "Anonymous Confessions: The legend of pissbitch".