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Considering the phrase "ma'am, would you mind getting real loving beefy you queefer bitch" almost cost me my loving job yesterday because I couldn't for the goddamn life of me stop laughing, I'm gonna need the backstory for the whole pissbitch thing. I missed the last thread, so I only got a vague concept of the whole thing. A link will do. Tia
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Jul 28, 2016 07:34
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Dude wrote :smith: in an email smdh
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Jul 28, 2016 11:28
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Just put it on and jack off in front of a mirror, why you guys gotta make things all complicated
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Jul 28, 2016 13:04
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I think he feels bad about betraying his employer like a dumbshit bitch
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Jul 28, 2016 13:15
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Just lol at the thought of an adult asking for "dating advice" irl (online too, but especially irl)
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Aug 3, 2016 07:34
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Thanks for the heads up that the next 10 "I AM A DIAPERFUR PEDO WITH A WEIRD DICK AND A SMELLY PUCKER LIVING WITH MY MOTHER WHOM I AM PLANNING TO RAPE AND KILL" confessions are all Jastiger's
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Aug 3, 2016 08:15
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Oh poo poo, you're right. Jastiger's confessions are fake. What an rear end in a top hat.
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Aug 3, 2016 08:32
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That is probably the most crushing fate I can possibly imagine. Jesus I hadn't even considered that was possible. Can you at least gently caress your fat flaps?
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Aug 3, 2016 15:51
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Well first you dive into 50 g's in credit card debt and then you work to pay off the debt e: suck my dick you fuckman
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Aug 3, 2016 19:04
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What's bi goon's stance on dickbirthing
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Aug 4, 2016 09:38
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quote:i keep crying constantly lol you guys must be so jealous of my fabulous life, taking dicks for money (albeit not enough to pay my rent) Please keep these coming.
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Aug 4, 2016 13:28
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I, too, had my best ideas on geopolitics when I was six.
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Aug 4, 2016 14:29
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Mr. 47 posted:I've been a veteran for awhile now, and I sincerely appreciate the sentiment when people say 'thank you for your service." The problem is, I have no idea how to respond to that without being awkward as gently caress.. The best I can usually muster is, "Thank you for paying for my masters degree" or just a polite, "oh, thank you." Tell them "service this"and then grab your crotch
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Aug 4, 2016 16:54
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How did you miss the part about getting rrreeeeaaaalll fuckin beefy?
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Aug 5, 2016 08:59
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NVJ posted:wow ivenever been into sienfeld but if its that hosed up i might give it ago A lot of the episodes are hosed up but it gets weird because it doesn't seem like anyone realizes that it's hosed up. Like, even when it's about loving your cousin to get your parents' attention, there's an overwhelming sensation that Jerry Seinfeld (the real person) is completely oblivious to why such a thing would be really strange to put on national TV and thinks it's just regular ol' chuckles sitcom material.
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Aug 5, 2016 13:32
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I, for one, am supportive of the incest goon. Next time you're at a family reunion, get yourself some of that ol dutch courage and go get 'er duder.
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Aug 5, 2016 13:33
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Does it have a laugh track? Re: shy bladders, I don't understand how this is a problem for you guys. If you don't gotta piss, don't piss. Don't stand there waiting, how the gently caress do you even end up doing that? I mean, are you standing there needing to pee and holding it in for some reason, or do you try to pee (aka relax your muscles) and just... fail? Me, I can't hold in my piss to save my life
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Aug 5, 2016 13:45
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Groovelord Neato posted:was filmed in front of an audience. Rupert Buttermilk posted:Everyone needs to watch Seinfeld. For George. If only for George. I was asking about CYE But hold on, an actual live audience was laughing that hard at Seinfeld? Every time? gently caress me I gotta make a sitcom
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Aug 5, 2016 14:58
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I'm just your plain ol' innocent Southern girl. I don't believe in sex without a deep emotional connection. *double fists self in front of 100s of strangers*
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Aug 8, 2016 09:47
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Goon with rich hypochondriac girlfriend, is it even possible you'll live long enough to see any of her parents' money? I'm asking because your fingers are so goddamn fat you can't type the letters E, R, or T without hitting the F key. If yes, wait it out and poison her as soon as her parents kick it. With her medical history and its apparent link to her mental state, police are gonna be investigating it as a natural death, possible suicide rather than a homicide.
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Aug 8, 2016 11:40
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Zzulu posted:You should become a serial rapist Please don't do this.
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Aug 8, 2016 13:56
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bradzilla posted:This has to be Nirvikalpa I doubt it, as far as I'm aware Nirvikalpa's thing is that she never gets laid, ever
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Aug 8, 2016 14:42
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Well, I, for one, still think you should spend the better part of your life with a woman you hate, then kill her. Just my humble opinion.
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Aug 8, 2016 22:23
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I don't see how hating white people warrants an anonymous confession. You realize it doesn't work the same as saying you hate black people, right? If you tell white people "I hate white people" most will probably say "Oh my god, like, me too!" and then their boyfriend will say "Me three, oh my god!" and they'll laugh and laugh. Also if you haven't fingered a yeasty girl you have not lived.
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Aug 9, 2016 08:11
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I think hitting people is bad. Sorry for the derail.
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Aug 9, 2016 16:05
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china bot posted:murder you're famil get loving beefy you little pissbitch
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Aug 9, 2016 16:44
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Can we please have less "I am sad and feel bad" confessions? It's not really interesting and probably applies to about 99% of people on these forums
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Aug 10, 2016 08:01
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"I'm sexually fulfilled. Woe is me"
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Aug 10, 2016 09:53
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quote:Everyone in this thread acts like suicide is such a big deal. It isn't. My cousin hung himself and nobody even noticed for like 3 weeks. I'm shooting myself tomorrow as soon as the bullets I ordered for my gun get here, and nobody's gonna loving notice that I'm dead for a few weeks either. It doesn't matter. Lol you're gonna end up paralyzed on life support and live longer than you would have if you'd just become a chain-smoking alcoholic, like a grown-up
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Aug 10, 2016 10:33
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Gay Weed Dad posted:This all sounds way worse than dying actually. Germans very much like to be as bored as possible at all times, working as much overtime as they can get and then finding lovely pastimes to waste their lives on when they finally get off. It is a state of being that they refer to as "Freude" - scholars translate this word as "happiness," but the two concepts have no real relation.
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Aug 10, 2016 14:36
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Who cares if some loser kills herself jfc
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Aug 11, 2016 13:26
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Job reference dude is a legit terrible person who should probably kill himself.
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Aug 12, 2016 13:37
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:"My friend"? What the gently caress is this? Who would legitimately do this to an actual friend? He's most likely worked harder than you ever have trying to overcome his addictions, and you're just standing there, at the top of the ladder, with a boot on his face. Good job, fuckface You just gave him a raging erection.
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Aug 12, 2016 13:48
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"Something" in this particular case means "gently caress" You're a manipulative monster, forums user SneakyFrog.
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Aug 22, 2016 14:10
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COOL CORN posted:Can an 8 year old be a "young child molester"? Serious question. Hard to say but a 12-year-old sure can.
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Aug 22, 2016 14:42
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loquacius posted:old married work crush goon Have you considered staying true to your wife? Contrary to what other goons might have you believe, it is possible to function without jamming your dick into vaginas. Do not tell your wife about your crush, do your best to avoid socially associating with your coworker, and just stop thinking your life and mind will unravel if you don't put the meat stick in the coveted moisture hole. Hell, if you want, you can even jack off once in a while!
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Aug 25, 2016 13:46
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Sex is a perk of living, not a human right that trumps your marital vows.
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Aug 25, 2016 14:10
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Jose posted:personally i'm hoping he's alraedy followed the advice of telling his wife that he wants to gently caress a younger coworker and we get a follow up confession
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Aug 25, 2016 14:18
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loquacius posted:People have divorced over much dumber poo poo than whether they will ever experience intimacy again for the rest of their lives (the lack of which is a huge indicator of an unhealthy relationship btw) Sex and intimacy are the exact same thing, that's why you should feel closer to every prostitute you have boned than to even your closest friends (unless you've done dick stuff w/ your friends). You guys have all really figured out this interpersonal relationship stuff 
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Aug 25, 2016 14:30
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SneakyFrog posted:thanks for this illuminating truth, poo poo might need to buy yourself some mountaintop land so you can sit there like the wise old person on top of a loving hill, waiting for someone to come and ask you about relationships. I am already doing this but I should probably inform you before you come seeking my guidance at standard rates that what you are quoting is in fact not what I have argued for.
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Aug 25, 2016 14:44
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