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10/10 username+post combo
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Aug 25, 2016 17:49
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| # ¿ May 21, 2024 16:46 |
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quote:LRV goon I'd have promoted you. Come work for me
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Aug 26, 2016 13:57
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I'm fairly certain it's weirder if you don't consider suicide at least a couple of times after having your first child. Your life is basically over or at least on hold for the next 18-20 years. I hope you like feigning interest in toys, cartoons and schoolyard drama, because that's gonna be the most exciting, entertaining activity available to you for a long time. Oh, and say goodbye to your savings. You know all that money you've been working off your rear end for? Poof, it's loving gone because Lil Honey Shithead here will not be content just being fed and clothed. She's gonna demand expensive toys, phones and pastimes, and to top that off she'll most likely break a ton of valuable and/or irreplaceable things before too long. People will judge and ostracize you unless your only response to this is 'oh I love my daughter so much, she is the most precious little thing in the whole world.' Don't kill yourself. It gets better as soon as you can get the kid to leave. Your sex life will never get back to normal, but you will once again be able to spend time and money on things that matter to you. Always remember, most people have to go through this at some point in their life. You can do it, too.
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Aug 28, 2016 10:05
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Suddenly becoming sexually obsessed with something you've never considered even slightly erotic before could be indicative of brain damage. You might need to see a doctor. edit: especially if you've simultaneously lost your normal sex drive. KomodoWagon fucked around with this message at 13:30 on Aug 29, 2016 |
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Aug 29, 2016 13:16
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Plastic surgery goon do you have very elaborate thoughts on the implications of a clash of cultures in Europe, coupled with a propensity to shoot over a hundred teenagers at a political summer camp?
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Aug 30, 2016 08:41
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Forward Toward posted:elf dongs Holy poo poo that escalated real fast.
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Sep 1, 2016 07:57
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quote:He did not take this well, I think that I offended his masculintiy or something like that. No, you condescending idiot, he failed to take it well because his fiancee told him she's attracted to another person and does not want to have sex with him. If you'd phrased it the way you did in your original confession, he would have understood what is really going on: that you have come down with severe mental illness and grown obsessed with an incredibly weird figment of your imagination to a point where it's harming your life. It would then be up to him to choose whether to live with that and support you as you go into treatment, or call off the wedding and leave you to it. Or try to accomodate your newfound fetish, what do I know. You are sick. Stop pissing around, and GET HELP.
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Sep 1, 2016 14:58
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Kill the dog, then cook it into the most delicious, elaborate meal you have ever cooked. When sis gets home and asks where the dog is, tell her it's at the vet or something. Then tell her what a wonderful sister she is, that you love her, and that you think she's earned a treat before presenting the dinner table. After the meal, start off gently. "Sis, I haven't been completely honest. You know all the trouble we've had finding a new place to live..." Then tell her everything. If you do this, she'll understand that you care about her deeply, and have her best interests at heart. She can't possibly stay mad for long. KomodoWagon fucked around with this message at 16:38 on Sep 1, 2016 |
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Sep 1, 2016 16:22
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Chihuahuas were actually bred as working dogs, so they're cool so long as they are raised properly as all dogs should be. They're made for killing rats, which is more metal than whatever you goons do for a living. Pommeranians can eat a chode though.
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Sep 1, 2016 18:01
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Enjoying New Apartment w/ NOT His Sister + Dog
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Sep 2, 2016 09:06
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Bored As gently caress posted:MY WIFE MY WIFE's yellow pimply hellscape cooter. Or pussy, if you will. 
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Sep 5, 2016 08:11
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Hahahahaha holy loving poo poo. e: Maybe this way you can ease in the piss thing. Go along with the "watching lez porn while getting oral" thing, then one day you can go "Ooooh I wanna watch something freaky right now" while you're halfway into it and put on some lesbian pissing video. If you play your cards right, he will have a boner when you do it so he won't mind or say anything until after you're done. KomodoWagon fucked around with this message at 13:45 on Sep 7, 2016 |
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Sep 7, 2016 13:40
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He might if she pisses on it though
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Sep 7, 2016 13:47
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brotato posted:Okay soap fetish guy humor me for a minute. I have no sense of smell so maybe I'm ignorant but: wouldn't an unscented bar of soap... have no scent???? Unscented means no smells have been added to the soap. Unscented soap smells like soap. If you want an approximation of what this is like you could try hitting your local dive bar and licking the hand soap in their bathroom.
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Sep 7, 2016 14:08
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This has to be fake, there is no way a real story could progress this perfectly and beautifully, complete with a happy ending: you learned that your fiancé was a piece of poo poo so you Mycroft Holmes posted:dodged a bullet there, i guess
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Sep 8, 2016 12:40
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Double life goon, have fun siring a child that hates you from the second it's able to have a coherent thought I guess? It's terrific how you don't factor in your own child even slightly, just how much money your wife makes. Maybe do the grown-up thing and actually get a divorce so you don't end up being a detriment to your family's life? Then you can do all the drugs and gently caress all the crackhead teens you want without the big calamity you're afraid of. You might even get to be a part of your child's life - not as a father, of course, but maybe like a sort of weird uncle he/she sometimes stays with. That is, if you can lay off the drugs enough to not be an outright danger to the kid. I have more advice, better too, but I don't think it would be welcome in this thread.
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Sep 16, 2016 15:59
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loquacius posted:Oddly enough what rang the most false to me about the Shkreli one was the "would gently caress again" rating at the end Honestly I wouldn't be too surprised if it was real. People are different and I don't think it's too strange to imagine that a woman who'd have sex with a dickhole childish billionaire like Shkreli would find his sperg traits endearing. The whole "insecure fuckwad" shtick is very attractive to some women, especially if said fuckwad has money. Overall I'd say I don't necessarily buy it, but I won't be surprised if it somehow turns out to be true.
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Sep 20, 2016 18:24
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| # ¿ May 21, 2024 16:46 |
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loquacius posted:Try being rich Also being in the media. Getting on TV gets you mad laid.
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Sep 20, 2016 19:16
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