|
H.H posted:My wife died in late April at the age of 35 (cancer). We had two daughters, now 12 and 9 years old and trying to be strong for them and help them through it is becoming unbearable. None of us are handling it well but I have to pretend I am for them and also at work so I don't lose my job. My confession is that I think every day about sending the kids to their grandparents' place for a while so I can have a break from it all and deal with my own problems, but I feel like I'd be abandoning the kids when they need me most. On the other hand, I feel like I'm going to snap and go insane if I keep this up much longer. I'd never say it out loud because I love them very much, but sometimes I wish we never had children just because of how terrible it is watching them go through this at those ages while their inept father tries and fails to figure out how to help them. I think it is pretty normal that you are "burnt out" by having to be strong for your daughters every day. It messes with the natural stages of grieving, which means you don't get to cope with it as you should. Have you considered asking one/both of the grandparents to come stay with you and help out for a while? If they can do it I am sure they would especially when you explain to them why you need their help. Or, if you can afford it and have the extra room, maybe get an au-pair?
|
#
¿
Jun 14, 2016 13:59
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 18:43 |
|
|
A Strange Aeon posted:Really interested in the teaching situation. IANAT but if the situation is anything like Germany, the teachers I know all tell me the same thing: Some kids want to learn but most kids can't sit still anymore, perform poo poo, are constantly on their mobile phones, hav eno respect and when they break any rules and are expelled (e.g. one example was for attacking other students) and the parents get a letter, instead of telling their kid of, they storm into school and threaten to sue. This has gone so far that headmasters do not back teachers anymore when they send a "blue letter" re misbehaviour to parents, but instead tell them "it can't be that bad, is it really worth that letter?". Apparently parents think a) any fault in their kids performance is the teachers fault, b) my kid doesn't misbehave, they are an angel and c) you are the school, you are solely responsible to educate my kid and teach it values etc. And politicians make it worse by constantly trumpeting "more money for schools, schools underperform". Nah they don't, kids underperform, but nowadays nobody teaches their kids the basics of discipline and respect towards a teacher
|
|
#
¿
Jul 8, 2016 14:10
|
|
|
^^^ please don't let this be real and just attention whoring Isn't there a difference between "Dad bod" and chubby? Afaik Dad bod basically means works out, drinks too much beer and a hipster beard, chubby is no workout, too much food, neckbeard. I.e. tiny bit of a beerbelly but generally fit vs. overall too much weight Hopper fucked around with this message at 21:57 on Jul 10, 2016 |
|
#
¿
Jul 10, 2016 21:55
|
|
|
Non-anonymous confession: I don't understand why we need an LGBT movement in the first place (to clarify: why lgbt people must fight for tolerance instead of being accepted in the first place). Why can't people leave other people be? I don't care if somebody is gay, lesbian, bisexual or trans. If they are a good person they are a good person, if they are a an rear end in a top hat, they are an rear end in a top hat. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with it. I freely admit I have problems understanding the concept of transgender, but I don't treat them any different than other people. However, I do think furries and otherkin have a genuine mental problem or are just in it for the attention. They don't need acceptance, they need treatment. Hopper fucked around with this message at 07:39 on Jul 13, 2016 |
|
#
¿
Jul 13, 2016 07:36
|
|
|
Quote is not edit....
|
|
#
¿
Jul 13, 2016 07:37
|
|
|
You could almost say anti-gay is as old as Christian and Islamic religion...
|
|
#
¿
Jul 13, 2016 08:04
|
|
|
Here's an idea. I can understand her not wanting to be pregnant on holiday, it makes eating and drinking a bit complicated. How about next time you use a condom? The sex will be great as you get to act out your primal instinct yet she won't become pregnant. If the condom breaks, well then that's that, but you want a. Child anyway. And the best thing is you get to do this primal stuff repeatedly until after your vacation. I'd consider it, might be quite the experience to go all caveman in the bedroom repeatedly.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 24, 2016 08:43
|
|
|
bradzilla posted:Yeah, just use a condom so you feel next to nothing! Walla! Of course a goon who never had sex would assume this myth about condoms is true.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 24, 2016 15:25
|
|
|
Alien hybrid dude: 1. Clerks are not the smartest, spelling and date things happen frequently 2. "How did they knows about sites inversions right away?": I am pretty sure the second they do a first baby check up after you are born, a studied medical doctor would notice something is wrong. Alternatively they may have done an MR or CT for other reasons and discovered it. Fat dude: How do you realize all this and don't get your shut together to counteract your obesity? Yes it is hard, but there are self help groups out there for every problem. You too can be a slim dude jerking it to horses loving tiny white men. Which is infinitely better than choking on your own fat and having your house of cards crumble around you sooner than you think.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 26, 2016 09:36
|
|
|
Define "kinky non-sexual"...
|
|
#
¿
Aug 1, 2016 10:41
|
|
|
P-Mack posted:It's not considered weird at all in much of the world. You really have to keep at it for generations to get mutants. People seize on the genetic thing because we are a society of moral cowards who are scared to take any ethical stand that we can't couch in semi-scientific utilitarian terms, but at the same time want to maintain broadly the same social mores as the old religious, community focused society that we've replaced with empty corporate consumerism. That's one hell of a lot of words to say: "It is just one of the things that are deemed not cool in our modern western civilization".
|
|
#
¿
Aug 5, 2016 15:46
|
|
|
P-Mack posted:Exactly, I think it's not cool, and I'm comfortable saying it's not cool without relying on some half assed genetics argument. Cause if the only argument against is mutant babies then wearing a condom would make it okay. (It is not okay.) I agree, hence my shorter version of your statement. (As a non-native speaker I had to read it 3 times to get all the words.) Cousin-fucker: Don't gently caress your cousin, there are some thing you just don't do. Even if you disagree and think it would be ok (HINT: it really isn't), what would most likely happen is you were imagining things and she will out you as a perv in your entire family as soon as you bring the idea up. I wouldn't risk that if I was you.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 5, 2016 16:14
|
|
|
I can see why there would be a lot of pent up frustration on your side and I could totally see why you would flat-hand slap her at that point. (Not saying that's cool, you should NEVER hit your SO, just saying I could see why.) However, hitting her with a spatula could be seen as "attacking with a weapon", in all seriousness, I would pro-actively "lawyer up". Just in case she decides to press charges in order to milk you for money or get a better divorce deal or whatever. Yes this is your wife and mother of your kids, but this is also about her kids at the core. If she does not trust you with them anyway, you just gave her more ammo. And chances are her parents, your friends etc. will not be on your side. Sorry buddy, you went through a lot, but you just made it hella worse. You could ask her to meet at your therapist (I assume you have one) so he can explain to her what she did to you by basically saying you are a future child molester, but she may say no.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 9, 2016 14:35
|
|
|
City of Tampa posted:what kind of spatula would even make a decent weapon anyway? they are too light to do anything Do a google image search for "lasagna spatula". Mine even has a serrated edge. And don't even ask about metal BBQ spatulas. Not everybody cooks with silicone. So potentially that's bad.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 9, 2016 14:39
|
|
|
Rich friend goon: Sadly life is different from what people tell you, the American dream is just a lie to keep people working hard that comes true for maybe 1%. My best buddy got into his job because a friend basically handcrafted the application to fit him. He had no experience in that field and now earns 6 figures after 3 years. I on the other hand will never earn half that in my job. Yes he has it easier, but instead of being jealous I am happy for him. There is no point in comparing your life to other people. However, if said friend of yours likes to flaunt their easy life around, maybe find different friends? Also I am sure their life isn't as perfect as it seems, they just hide throwbacks well.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2016 08:35
|
|
|
I don't know what Steven Universe is, but take some solace in the fact that you do not watch MLP.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2016 09:11
|
|
|
To all goons who feel the need to kill themselves because the world is a shitshow: Yes, yes it is. But don't loving kill yourself because of it. Here is a free 3 step program for more happiness: 1. Stop watching the news. Seriously. It will ruin your day and make you feel miserable without you realizing it. I stopped watching the news 3 years ago because I could not stand the constant stream of "refugees, terror, bloodshed, war, decision by politicians that screws the little man, company X got away with something you would be jailed for etc." 2. To stay informed, get a subscription for a quality* major newspaper instead and read that. You can skip articles you do not care about and you get less sensationalist reporting. Get an online subscription to save some bucks and read it on your tablet of choice while commuting to work. * This needs to be an actually good newspaper, in Germany I read Süddeutsche Zeitung, not sure what the equivalent in your country is. 3. Get out into nature more. Go running, walk your dog, go fishing, biking, take regular walks, whatever you like, doesn't have to be sports. You could even buy a ton of your favourite fast food and go to the woods to have a picnic. Just get away from the city and the constant media barrage that hammers down on you every single day. The best thing to do is go hiking onto a mountain and then look down from above. Nothing changes your perspective better than literally changing it and looking down on everything from miles away. Yes this last point sounds like Hippie poo poo. But it can really relax you. This is your life, it is all about you, forget about the bigger picture, treat yourself and forget about all the shitheads in the world. Be a bit egoistic, live a little. AND DO NOT KILL YOURSELF!
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2016 11:11
|
|
|
Gay Weed Dad posted:Keys to true happiness: You could leave out the newspaper, but most people still want to know what's going on. Newspapers are way less misery inducing than the news on the TV. And everybody should get out more anyway.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2016 15:15
|
|
|
Gay Weed Dad posted:Perhaps it is different in Germany but print media here is on its last legs and has become terribly ad ridden. It actually is. We have a lot of lovely tabloids but we also have a few good newspapers left. However, a subscription for the Süddeutsche Zeitung for example is 30€ a month digital (for 5 devices though, so you can share it) print is something like 60€.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 10, 2016 15:43
|
|
|
Your life will always be best if you follow what you want. Don't let anyone push you into any commitment just because it is the thing to do. And not wanting kids doesn't mean you can't like kids. I love my goddaughter as if she were my own and we just now returned from babysitting her (she's 7 months old next week). Her parents never for a second hesitated and straight up taught me all I needed to know. Nappy changing, feeding etc. right from the start. In my goddaugther I get to experience what it means to have a kid... in a very moderate dosage of about 1-2 days a week when I am there to help out, which is exactly right for me. Yes I love her, but I am also glad I can "hand her back" after a couple of hours. We have always been very honest about this, all our friends know and trust both me and the GF with their kids. What I am saying is if you want kids that is cool, if you don't also cool. The important part is accepting people who think differently.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 16, 2016 23:45
|
|
|
I never thought about guerrilla marketing on here but it makes so much sense. I mean I know it exists, but it just wasn't something I actively associated with SA more with Amazon reviews. If I think about the amount of product recommendations in GWS alone though... now I feel used. 
|
|
#
¿
Aug 18, 2016 05:19
|
|
|
FYI to any potential cheaters. If you decide to cheat on your SO - which isn't cool in my book but we are all clever enough not to pretend it doesn't happen - do NEVER confess. Otherwise you either have no more relationship or what is described above applies. No more trust at all. So don't cheat, and if you have to don't tell anyone. If you regret it, tough poo poo, live with it. And better hope it doesn't come out.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 27, 2016 21:37
|
|
|
Tinder Ghost: I have never used Tinder but if what people say is true, Tinder is hook up central, not a means to meet a GF. Get away from "social" media and go out with friends. The biggest chance to meet a nice girl is via your friends. Friends share values, interests etc. So if someone is your friend, chances are that if they bring along a friend of theirs, you might click because she too shares some of those same interests etc. Otherwise maybe try serious online dating.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 29, 2016 06:50
|
|
|
Honestly, I don't know who or what is on our bills either. I have seen it and would probably go "of course" when I look at money again, but I so rarely pay cash, who cares? The numbers are important anyway. I know more about Swedish money that German thanks to currently going to Swedish lessons where we talk about the people on the bills as a means to learn about why they are important.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 31, 2016 07:52
|
|
|
Murphy Brownback posted:At least in the US it's kind of ridiculous to not even know who is on the 1 and 5. I can understand maybe not knowing off the top of your head the 10 or 20 (although for most people a 20 is the bill you probably handle most since it's the default ATM bill so Jackson should be pretty familiar to you), but George Washington and Abraham Lincoln aren't exactly obscure figures, and just from media/music you should at least know that 100s are benjamins/franklins/whatever even if you don't know who Benjamin Franklin is somehow. I'll agree on the benjamins, actually knew what a benjamin is yeah. And see your point. Over here we don't have our presidents on the money so it is harder to know which author/inventor etc. Is currently on the bills.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 31, 2016 09:06
|
|
|
I think it is the Swedish 20 kronor bill that has Nils Holgerson (a tiny guy from a kid's story) riding on the back of his pet Swan. It always makes me smile when I see it.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 31, 2016 09:25
|
|
|
Bitter Mushroom posted:That's because "Charlies' sounds a lot better and more british Wouldn't it be "it's all about the Charleses" though if we want to nit-pick? Sounds daft that.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 31, 2016 10:45
|
|
|
Haha, see, told you I had no idea what was on them either. The only bills I handled lately were foreign money (pounds, kronor, dollars) so I completely forgot Euro bills don't have faces on them any more. I do know the design of my credit cards and EC cards though.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 31, 2016 14:05
|
|
|
I am guy and I really enjoy cooking and don't watch soccer or any other sport 
|
|
#
¿
Sep 6, 2016 15:31
|
|
|
gigawhite posted:Also you shouldn't tell people you date who they can or can't talk to at work. That's just hosed, my dude. This is what stuck out the most to me. You lost your ex, we have all been there and it sucks, but a) stop asking others for updates on your ex, that doesn't help you get over her b) don't look back, look forward, everybody remembers one girl they think was the one, only when you look at it realistically, she wasn't, otherwise it would have worked out c) get out there and meet new girls, but let those new girls talk to whoever they want, insecurity isn't sexy and drives them away
|
|
#
¿
Sep 14, 2016 17:27
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 18:43 |
|
|
Sounds like double life goon is deathly afraid of becoming a father. Dude you made a choice, now that choice needs you. Man the gently caress up, leave the skank, get tested, and be the best father you can be. Nobody says you can't still be a bit of a child sometimes. You'll eventually get to play with Legos again, and you can do all manner of things as long as you are a good father. Doesn't mean you can't have a boys night out or whatever. Just don't gently caress every skank that looks at you funny. P.S. get the gently caress tested ASAP
|
|
#
¿
Sep 16, 2016 16:22
|
|