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compiled from a "post like you're on fb" thread a few years back: Getting some starbucks <2 minutes pass> Ugh stupid Starbucks wrote "Ashley" on my cup, my name is Ashlyygh DUH Uggghhhh traffic is soooo bad people are just driving like maniacs and why won't this guy get out of my way!!!!! - sent from mobile Finally traffic is moving now I can drive again!!! Lol guy still in my way tho - sent from mobile <2 minutes pass> Just rear-ended someone I think my car is totaled oops  FML- sent from mobile ______________________________________________________ <Completely unfunny Bitstrip> ______________________________________________________ <Buzzfeed quiz> ______________________________________________________ ToDaY I aM GoInG 2 TeH dOCTEr 4 A cHeCK uP, ThEn I HaFtA wErK 3-5 (oMg whY), thEn I is Go2 tEh paRtY wHo eLsE iS pArTy 2niTe? Heare r My bAbY pIcS ______________________________________________________ *picture of lunch* ______________________________________________________ Atheism is so good lol look at these stupid religious people ______________________________________________________ <Completely unfunny Bitstrip> ______________________________________________________ UGH I'M TIRED OF BEING SUCH A NICE GUY #reddit #mensrights #atheist #fedoralife #m'lady #bitcoin #brohoof ______________________________________________________ This. This. This. Wow...just, wow. WIN THE INTERNETS! I am literally shaking. FAIL. So much win. This. Win the internets. Wow. So much fail. This. ______________________________________________________ look at how amazing my baby is, u mean the world to me <2 minutes pass> look at how beautiful my baby is HAVE YOU SEEN MY AMAZING BABY??!! ______________________________________________________ *shares pictures of abused, malnourished, and mangled dogs every day* I am doing what I can to help these dogs, I am making a difference *links to twelve different petitions to save the bees* I am changing the world, I am taking a stand ______________________________________________________ In response to the new Facebook guidelines I hereby declare that my copyright is attached to all of my personal details, illustrations, comics, paintings, photos and videos, etc. (as a result of the Berner Convention). For commercial use of the above my written consent is needed at all times! (Anyone reading this can copy this text and paste it on their Facebook Wall. This will place them under protection of copyright laws, By the present communiqué, I notify Facebook that it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, distribute, disseminate, or take any other action against me on the basis of this profile and/or its contents. The aforementioned prohibited actions also apply to employees, students, agents and/or any staff under Facebook's direction or control. The content of this profile is private and confidential information. The violation of my privacy is punished by law (UCC 1 1-308-308 1-103 and the Rome Statute). Facebook is now an open capital entity. All members are recommended to publish a notice like this, or if you prefer, you may copy and paste this version. If you do not publish a statement at least once, you will be tacitly allowing the use of elements such as your photos as well as the information contained in your profile status updates ______________________________________________________ <Completely unfunny Bitstrip> ______________________________________________________ <Buzzfeed quiz> ______________________________________________________ I am a gullible ninny who posts spurious articles about Fukushima radiation panic, vaccines being linked to autism, GMOs, "chemicals", not realizing that links to snopes and other sites debunking these topics automatically appear directly under them as "related articles" "Look, whether it`s technically true or not doesn`t matter. It just really makes you think." ______________________________________________________ <Buzzfeed quiz> ______________________________________________________ i wish there was a DISLIKE button on facebook!! (14 likes) ______________________________________________________ A girl had ovary cancer and she was terminally going to die. so she was going to have ovary implants surgery. When the day was that she was having her surgery she said goodbye to her family and told her boyfriend she loved him. She came out of the surgery and had no cancer because she was cured. She saw her family then asked where her boyfriend was and her mom said wait didn't the doctor tell you who donated the ovaries? like if you love your boyfriend ______________________________________________________ <Completely unfunny Bitstrip> _____________________________________________________ I'm gonna show everyone what a socially conscious person I am by sharing clickbait Upworthy articles each day ______________________________________________________ *Posts about a person addressing them with only pronouns so you have no idea it's their ex* ______________________________________________________ Hey guys I really think I'm getting this whole cooking thing down! *post picture of grilled cheese ______________________________________________________ This hot young girl was caught doing something crazy by her father! What happens next will blow your mind! ______________________________________________________ *reposts everything from Neil Degrasse Tyson and George Takei with the comment "LOL! This guy makes me laugh all the time!!!!!"* ______________________________________________________ Cracked: 20 Terrible Photoshops and Three That Won't Load On Your Screen ______________________________________________________ Today I saw a black lady in my white rural town at the gas station. She was wearing a fur coat, Versace sunglasses, had a Gucci purse, and was talking on her (Obama)iPhone. She was mad about them not selling her crack she could buy with her food stamps. When I told her I was a taxpayer and didn't approve of her misusing my tax dollars and she should get out of REAL America she stormed off and drove away in her Cadillac. This is what your tax dollars pay for in OBAMA's America! ______________________________________________________ <Completely unfunny Bitstrip> ______________________________________________________ *e-card of two Victorian-era women with some comment about how they just want to drink wine* ______________________________________________________ I swear some ppl just live to create more drama! Jesus give me strength lol ______________________________________________________ Well this is just terrible. I can't believe it. ______________________________________________________ MONKEYCHEESE! NINJA! ARENT I *RANDOM* and *WACKY*??! ______________________________________________________ if you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best ______________________________________________________ Pictures of Marilyn Monroe and Audry Hepburn. ______________________________________________________ <Buzzfeed quiz> ______________________________________________________ <Completely unfunny Bitstrip> ______________________________________________________ 49 extremely important things you need to know about us delicate introverts and how you should treat introverts with special care and always always watch what you say to introverts ______________________________________________________ *tags self at gym* wasnt able to get to the gym yesterday, so it feels good to be back! #fitness #abs #workout #lifting #facebookabs #sixpack #smile #blueeyes #feelsgreat #workingonmyfitness #healthy #goals #nopainnogain #results #selfie #painisweaknessleavingthebody #shirtless #routine #excited #YOLO #loveyourself #maybeishouldactyallyworkoutinsteadofhashtaggingbecauseseriously *tags self at work* Whooo! Starting my work shift! #makinmoney #atwork #doinwork #working #work #job #thatpromotioniscominganydaynow #hardworkpaysoff #saving #humpday #goals #future #likeaboss #likeabawse #smile #plans #lovemyjob #lovemylife #nowhereidratherbe #maybeishouldstopmakinghashtagsandactuallyclockinsothepersonimreleavingcanactuallygohomebecausetheyvehada12hrshift ______________________________________________________ <Buzzfeed quiz> ______________________________________________________ According to ancestry.com I'm like 1/32 Cherokee so now my mission is to flood your feed with bits of phony Native American wisdom, white shame and hideous digital paintings of soaring eagles and howling wolves ______________________________________________________ GODZILLA! ______________________________________________________ real men love curves, dogs go for bones ______________________________________________________ <Completely unfunny Bitstrip> ______________________________________________________ #hashtag #everything #because #everyone #needs #to #be #able #to #search #for #my #statuses #kony2012 ______________________________________________________ <Completely unfunny Bitstrip> ______________________________________________________ <Buzzfeed quiz> ______________________________________________________ John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! John Shmoe invited you to play Candy Crush! Going to bed now. Goodnight Facebook.
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Jun 8, 2016 21:57
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