Wee Stubby Nublet posted:

*incredulous stare* I can't believe you went and repeated a line from a picture being posted in here... *mouth hangs slack-jaw agape*... What kind of weirdo are you?... *eyes bugging out*... Y-you actually s-sat there and plagiarised one of the pics; used it's exact w-words in your post... *voice getting increasingly more high pitched*... How brazen! How weird! YOU BRAZEN WEIRD MONSTER, VYST! STOP BEING WEIRD!!! *runs out aghast, overcome by the weirdness of such a weirdo who could weirdly post so weird like that*

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:

gently caress off Gunky Junket

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

Oh hush, my wee stubby nublet. Shh~ It's okay. It's only facebook.

I ate Kermit the Frog because Freud told me to.

Ratjaculation posted:

They mention it in the 3rd movie;

Minions reproduce using spores, the spores of the minion attach to an ant, eventually breaking through the exoskeleton using mechanical pressure and enzymes. Yeast stages of the minion spread in the ant's body and presumably produce compounds that affect the ant's hemocoel, utilizing the evolutionary trait of an extended phenotype to manipulate the behavioral patterns exhibited by the ant. An infected ant exhibits irregularly timed full body convulsions that dislodge it to the forest floor. The ant climbs up the stem of a plant and uses its mandibles with abnormal force to secure itself to a leaf vein, leaving dumbbell-shaped marks on it. A search of plant-fossil databases revealed similar marks on a fossil leaf from the Messel Pit, which is 48 million years old. Once the mandibles of the ant are secured to the leaf vein, atrophy quickly sets in, destroying the sarcomere connections in the muscle fibers and reducing the mitochondria and sarcoplasmic reticula. The ant is no longer able to control the muscles of the mandible and will remain fixed in place. This lockjaw trait is popularly known as the death grip, and is essential in the minion's lifecycle.

The minion spore then kills the ant, and continues to grow as its hyphae invade more soft tissues and structurally fortify the ant's exoskeleton. More mycelia then sprout out of the ant, and securely anchor it to the plant substrate while secreting antimicrobials to ward off competition. When the minion spore is ready to reproduce, its fruiting bodies grow from the ant's head and rupture, releasing the spores. This process takes four to ten days.

SpaceGoatFarts posted:

Today facebook told me to wish my friend who died 4 years ago a happy birthday. But there's worse, one of his own facebook friends posted on his page to wish him a happy birthday.

That's the first post on his page since he died

OctoberBlues posted:

I've mentioned this somewhere before, but there was a fairly attractive girl who I was "friends" with who died a couple years ago. I noticed last year on her birthday that she had like 11 wall posts that were all from random guys just saying "happy birthday!" lol

Linux Pirate posted:

I feel kinda bad sharing this one because I've know this guy since the 3rd grade and he has had a hard life and was also homeless a few years ago(not anymore), but drat he says some stupid, confusing poo poo.

Linux Pirate posted:

Here's another.

psychokitty posted:

dress was blue

Blue Train posted:

she's actually not that bad now which is weird

Frog Act posted:

Moridin920 posted:

just kinda marks you as an insecure douche is all just trying to inform and be helpful <3

Moridin920 posted:

i mean she's still getting a job that piss tested her how successful could she be lmao

TheMostFrench posted:

The story I posted a few pages ago about the mother who sent her kid to school book week in blackface is still going.
She first posted it to the fb page of a popular blogger, who deleted it because she didn't agree with the black face, but supported the mother for wanting to let her son dress up as someone he admired.

Now the blogger is the center of attention, because the family of blackface woman started sending the blogger death threats for not giving her full support.

Now the narrative is 'This poor facebook celebrity is suffering at the hands of ABUSE' which was the same thing that happened to the mother initially, but the blogger is more popular so more people care when she is sad.

Hillary Clintons Thong posted:

but man like that kid wont go to school or anything, it's really sad. I wonder if they'll try to sign up for WIC or whatever and be PISSED they didn't get that gov money when their kid is not recognized by any sector of the govt

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

Posted by someone who considers themself a writer. I can't enough.

He's a writer like I'm a fisherman.

Moridin920 posted:

oh no, not the traditional nuclear family

cuck cuck im gay posted:

All his pics seem to be of him in various airports at major events sponsored by companies like US Cellular and SKYY Vodka. How does someone make a career out of being a furry? Asking for a friend.

Anderron Shi posted:

12" x 1" = 12 meatballs

Facebook Aunt posted:

That actually might not be as pathetic as it looks. Or at least differently pathetic. "She's still a virgin" dude could be the father. Since they were expected to remain abstinent until marriage, nobody ever bothered to teach them how that works.

Some people (mostly those with poor sex ed) think that only penis-in-vagina sex is sex, if she hasn't had a penis in her vagina she's still a virgin. Some of these technical virgins do "everything but" including rubbing up against each other, dry humping, oral, and even anal. In the process they get semen all over the lady, close enough to the vaginal opening for a lucky swimmer to make to score a touchdown. Bam, virgin birth.

Lazerbeam posted:

Is it normal in the US to beg strangers on the internet to help you get your job back?

Code Jockey posted:

Have you ever spoken to an american from the Midwest before

Facebook Aunt posted:

Nah, I'm a woman. But back in the day teenage girls had some really stupid ideas about pregnancy, and I assume they still due. Back in the 70s some girls thought you couldn't get pregnant if you douched with coca cola -- FYI a coke douche will not decrease chance of pregnancy, however it will greatly increase chance of yeast infection.

notZaar posted:

You put the soap into the sock to make a crude blackjack and beat the poo poo out of your victim.

DisgracelandUSA posted:

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

Okay fair point but "Double zero / 00" should not be a size in any system.

Efexeye posted:

facebook has an 'unfollow but stay friends' option that allows you to maintain your personal bubble at whatever level you please