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Weekend Bridges posted:
Alternate history epic by Gareth Edwards. In a stunning turn of events, Arthur Ashe (Donald Glover) rises to become the king of China through a tennis mishap. As decades pass, his (now played by Forest Whitaker) totalitarian regime pits the elderly in heated matches of Pickleball where the loser is executed. Tom Selleck is Huron, an aging member of the war council who finds himself at odds with Ashe. He is "randomly" chosen to enter the Pickleball Games against an array of elite champions. The current champion is Nhalan, a mysterious masked player that has never lost (played by Helen Mirren). As the matches progress and Huron moves up the ladder, the players soon discover the terrifying true nature of the king. Big final battle involving reanimated terracotta armies, lakes of mercury, and Genghis Khan's ghost. Sex in the Colonies
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Jul 4, 2016 16:44
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Lincoln`s Wax posted:Sex in the Colonies Sex in the Colonies - It's the summer of 1776. We follow around noted horndogs Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and John Hancock around Philly on a weekend. It's wine, women, and independence until they remember a certain document needs to be signed in 24 hours! Next title: Christmas Gay
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Jul 10, 2016 21:03
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Egbert Souse posted:Sex in the Colonies - It's the summer of 1776. We follow around noted horndogs Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and John Hancock around Philly on a weekend. It's wine, women, and independence until they remember a certain document needs to be signed in 24 hours! Christmas Gay set in 1996... Naomi, an Iowa born coed who traveled to NYC to get her college education, is not able to make it home for the holidays. She is sad and disillusioned because the city just doesn't have that home town Christmas feel, until she finally gets to know her eccentric homosexual neighbor Richard. Richard takes Naomi on a tour New York City at Christmas time, and opens her conservative mind to homosexual relationships, drag shows, and a festive underground culture. Notes for its memorable scene, in which Naomi blows a palm full of glitter into a crowded dance club oiled up boys singing "all I want for Christmas is you!" And says, "now I understand why they say gay means happy!" Hilarious and dramatic sub plot includes story line in which her conservative boyfriend flies into New York to join Naomi, and teams up with a cabbie. The two follow Naomi and Richard's path of celebration... And comedic hijinks ensue, with a running gag that everybody mistakes John the boyfriend for "Davis" a notorious and kinky twink that everybody wants as their stocking stuffer, much to Johns horror, confusion, and secret desire? ( you have to see it to find out!) Next up: Winston's Way Roydrowsy fucked around with this message at 06:17 on Jul 12, 2016 |
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Jul 12, 2016 06:13
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Roydrowsy posted:Next up: Winston's Way Winston's Way is a biopic about Anthony Eden. Eden was one of Winston Churchill's closest confidantes during the war, but after Churchill refused to abdicate his position as the head of the Conservative Party, putting the two at odds. After a stroke made Churchill leave the office of the Prime Minister, Eden took over and attempted to do everything "Winston's Way", leading him to be one of Britain's least well-remembered and well-liked Prime Ministers in its history. The movie will explore the complicated relationship between Eden and Churchill, the personal problems Eden experienced during his time in office (a divorce from his wife, his son dying overseas), and ultimately, Eden's attempt at living up to the legacy of Winston Churchill and how he ultimately fell quite short. Starring Colin Firth as Eden and Toby Jones as Churchill and directed by Richard Ayoade, Winston's Way is surprisingly cerebral look into the mind of a man destined to never be remembered standing in the shadow of a man who will be remembered forever. Expect it to clean up this Oscar season! Next Movie: The Last Sunset in Barrow, AK Yoshifan823 fucked around with this message at 07:58 on Jul 12, 2016 |
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Jul 12, 2016 07:56
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The Last Sunset in Barrow, AK Set during an alternate history, the city of Barrow, Alaska slowly falls into a collective depression as a nuclear exchange between the United States and the Soviet Union appears to be all but inevitable. As the sun sets, the townspeople, one by one, make the decision to spend their last moments somewhere else and drive off in different directions, looking for another place to pass the rest of their limited time. In the end, a radio transmission informs us that the Americans and the Soviets have worked out a peace deal and will not be going to war. Rusty Victoria
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Jul 12, 2016 21:41
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Supersonic Shine posted:
A small town in England has a mysterious secret. A large statue of Queen Victoria sits in the middle of town, and the statue is able to predict the future of the town using the rust on it. The rust comes and goes, the more rust there is, the worse the immediate future will be for the town. One day the townspeople awake to discover the statue is completely covered in rust. Panic spreads as the townspeople wonder the meaning of this ill omen, and what will become of their small town. Starring Drew Carey as the town leader, this incredible supernatural thriller will keep you on the edge of your seat until its shocking conclusion. The Printer Needs Toner
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Jul 13, 2016 02:59
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Supersonic Shine posted:Rusty Victoria Victoria (Chloe Grace Moretz) is a young woman growing up on a California farm during the Great Depression. In a society where women are expected to be homemakers, Victoria defies them all with her love of working with machines. But when her father (Dennis Quaid) unexpectedly dies and Victoria inherits the farm, she has to prove to everyone - her neighbors, the government, and an unscrupulous banker (Charles Dance) trying to claim the land - that she can keep the farm running. Because sometimes...it takes a woman to do a real man's work. Fifteen Seconds Lord Hydronium fucked around with this message at 03:12 on Jul 13, 2016 |
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Jul 13, 2016 03:01
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Samuel L. ACKSYN posted:The Printer Needs Toner George Menville (Ryan Gosling) is a skinny mild-mannered supervisor at the neighborhood print shop. He finds out that he has the early signs of MS. Instead of letting his body waste away, he aims to bulk up as much muscle as he can before the symptoms become worse. He befriends a personal trainer (Emma Stone) with a strange past who helps him set his goals, but at what cost? Directed by Nicholas Winding Refn Adolf Hitler at Disney Egbert Souse fucked around with this message at 03:10 on Jul 13, 2016 |
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Jul 13, 2016 03:08
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Egbert Souse posted:George Menville (Ryan Gosling) is a skinny mild-mannered supervisor at the neighborhood print shop. He finds out that he has the early signs of MS. Instead of letting his body waste away, he aims to bulk up as much muscle as he can before the symptoms become worse. He befriends a personal trainer (Emma Stone) with a strange past who helps him set his goals, but at what cost? Adolf Hitler at Disney This newly uncovered tale of the early life of Adolf Hitler reveals that before became the Fuhrer and after he was rejected from Parisian art school he applied to and worked for a brief time at creating newspaper cartoons under the pseudonym "Chalice Lace". His work in cartoons featured prominently in German newspapers were discovered by Walt Disney in 1922. Inspired by the artistic treasure he discovered Disney sought out to find the secret behind the pseudonym. He succeeded in the Winter of 1922 , but a racists tirade by Hitler during a coffee shop meeting between the two sends Disney packing ,but not before procuring the likeness of a well known rodent... Dir Gus Van Sant Walt Disney - Tom Hanks Adolf Hitler - Jared Leto Nighttime in Vienna
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Jul 13, 2016 03:40
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Hollismason posted:Nighttime in Vienna A US expat (James Franco) living in Vienna throws a party for a dozen of his closest friends on the night of a deadly terrorist attack that leaves them trapped in the apartment building. They survived the attack, but will their relationships? "Star studded ensemble that doesn't disappoint." -- Frank James Franco Lea Seydoux Emma Watson Domhnall Gleeson John Boyega Christoph Waltz Alligator Blues
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Jul 13, 2016 13:13
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But enough about This Is The End 2...
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Jul 13, 2016 15:40
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ButtWolf posted:Alligator Blues Blues saxophonist "Mighty" Willie Lee (Morgan Freeman) hasn't been the same since Katrina swept through and forced him to relocate to Jacksonville. His drinking problem is back and worse than ever. The quartet he spent three years putting together just broke up having never played anything more than a few terrible lounge gigs. His daughter (Jada Pinkett Smith) and her attorney husband (Don Cheadle) are tired of his self-destructive lifestyle. His grandchildren (Jaden Smith and Quvenzhane Wallis) think he's a washed up drunk and could care less about the blues. But it all pales with the indignity of his day job: working the Putter Return Desk at Captain Gator's Mini-Golf Adventure. The peckerwood manager (Bruce Willis) hates his guts, his direct supervisor Jimmy (Adam DeVine) is 30 years younger than him, and he has to spend most of his day wearing a ridiculous hat shaped like an alligator head. It comes to a head when Willie is forced to stay late to help Jimmy clean up the aftermath of a kid's birthday party turned vomitorium. Willie finally feels like he's hit rock bottom. Drunk, high, depressed, and on the verge of giving up, Willie spontaneously puts his horn to his lips and writes a masterpiece, the song he's had inside him his whole life, waiting to break free. And then he slips in vomit and knocks himself unconcious. He wakes up, but Willie isn't himself; he's a cartoon alligator, trapped in the surreal, stop-motion animated world of his own subconcious mind, full of his mistakes and excesses, inhabited by twisted echoes of the people and places in his life, and built from the mythos of the blues. In the outside world, as Willie lies in a coma, an unexpected series of kindnesses and coincidences is taking shape that may finally repair his broken life. Can Willie navigate his mind, exorcise his demons and escape at last from his torment, or will the Devil of the Blues (voice of Kevin Michael Richardson) swallow him up like the legends who came before him? Directed by Henry Selick. Hold My Beer And Watch This: The Musical
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Jul 14, 2016 03:56
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HypnoCabbage posted:Blues saxophonist "Mighty" Willie Lee (Morgan Freeman) hasn't been the same since Katrina swept through and forced him to relocate to Jacksonville. Hold My Beer and Watch This: The Musical YouTube Channel "Fail Army" teams up with the creators of Avenue Q to present the first ever "YouTube" movie. Two puppets, Howard and Chrissy host two hours of YouTube clips, started with the infamous "hold my beer and watch this," in which Mark Harrison of Quincy, Illinois tries to jump in a camp fire, but instead falls in, and is removed with only minor injuries. Meanwhile, Howard and Chrissy keep the magic alive by turning different video themes into hilarious musical numbers, with songs like.... "Look at that stupid loving cat." "Oh no he d'i'nt" "That looked like it hurt" (parts 1,2 and 3). Childhood standard "Diarreah" (featuring Alicia Keys & R. Kelly" And much more. The film ends with a YouTube clip of Pokemon Pikachu singing "Bitches" by Mindless Self Indulgence. At the world premiere, Adrien Brody was the only celebrity to appear. His strong endorsement of the film led producers to realize what a terrible mistake they had made. The project was quickly disappeared. Even so, pretty much everybody who had a clip in the film sued everybody possible. To recoup their losses, the film studio produced "Movie 43" Next up: The Masticators
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Jul 18, 2016 13:17
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Roydrowsy posted:Next up: The Masticators Gilbert Hornsby, a 21-year-old kid from Milwaukee (played by Vince Vaughn), and his friends (played by random SNL alumni) enter a hot-dog eating contest--except they don't have any teeth. None of them can even get one hot dog down, and leave defeated, mocked incessantly by the victorious team which is lead by Jackariah Blurghman (played by Ben Stiller). They spends a whole year training with an old hot-dog-eating pro (played by Mike Myers) and a retired sword-eater from Cirque du Soleil (played by James Hong). Eventually the main character's love interest, Jane Dough (played by the thin hot blonde actress du jour) joins the team and it turns out she has a real knack for eating hot-dogs. At the next hot-dog-eating contest, our heroes pull out a close victory, Gilbert and Jane embrace, and Jackariah disgracefully retires. Also features Sam L Jackson and Betty White as the contest announcers. ---- Rippling Water and Junebug Heartbeats
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Jul 18, 2016 15:25
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SciFiDownBeat posted:Gilbert Hornsby, a 21-year-old kid from Milwaukee (played by Vince Vaughn), and his friends (played by random SNL alumni) enter a hot-dog eating contest--except they don't have any teeth. None of them can even get one hot dog down, and leave defeated, mocked incessantly by the victorious team which is lead by Jackariah Blurghman (played by Ben Stiller). They spends a whole year training with an old hot-dog-eating pro (played by Mike Myers) and a retired sword-eater from Cirque du Soleil (played by James Hong). Eventually the main character's love interest, Jane Dough (played by the thin hot blonde actress du jour) joins the team and it turns out she has a real knack for eating hot-dogs. At the next hot-dog-eating contest, our heroes pull out a close victory, Gilbert and Jane embrace, and Jackariah disgracefully retires. Also features Sam L Jackson and Betty White as the contest announcers. That's the weirdest poo poo I've ever heard of. Animated? Cause Vaughn's like 45. --- Rippling Water and Junebug Heartbeats The latest in the improv mumblecore mastermind Joe Swanberg, Rippling Water and Junebug Heartbeats is a swift and humorous entry into the lives of three twenty something slackers; Ariana (Anna Kendrick), Jake (Jake Johnson), and Kim (Joe Swanberg). Jade with urban life, the three buy a houseboat on the Mississippi in Illinois. The more removed from society they are, the more involved and deeply infatuated they become with each other. "There's a love triangle and literally nothing happens. I was bored for like the last 45 minutes." -- 85 out of 100 people in the screening Next Movie: The Runaway Carriage
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Jul 18, 2016 16:44
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ButtWolf posted:That's the weirdest poo poo I've ever heard of. Animated? Cause Vaughn's like 45.
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Jul 18, 2016 18:49
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I had movies like Dodgeball and Zoolander in mind when I was writing it. it was supposed to be funny 
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Jul 18, 2016 19:10
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SciFiDownBeat posted:I had movies like Dodgeball and Zoolander in mind when I was writing it. it was supposed to be funny It is funnier that way.  like Wet Hot American Summer.Just wasn't sure if it was a typo. I didn't mean it was bad weird, just weird. ButtWolf fucked around with this message at 21:01 on Jul 18, 2016 |
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Jul 18, 2016 19:33
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ButtWolf posted:Next Movie: Apparently made as part of the Canadian Content initiative (but, weirdly, filmed mostly in Tonga), this children's film with a staggeringly innocuous title was a mainstay of "mom and pop" video stores in the early 1980's. Actual information regarding the production of this film is scarce; it stars no known actors, has no credited writer or director, and indeed has no credits at all - the film begins with a simple title card and ends with an abrupt cut to black. This has only added to the reputation of "The Runaway Carriage" as what had to have been a vividly remembered fever dream rather than a real film from the now-adult people who watched it once as children and recalled it only as a rich source of nightmares and general constant sense of unease. But the recent, barely advertised release on deep discount DVD of "The Runaway Carriage" confirms that this movie does exist and is, to put it gently, balls-out insane. The plot is as follows: A young boy runs away from home and is quickly found by the titular Carriage. The vehicle is full of other runaways; a group of strange characters that includes a teenage girl who only speaks in rhyme and a toddler whose toenails never stop growing. The only visible "adult" is Smooch, an unidentifiable and utterly unlikeable creature played by a terrifying puppet, who has magical powers and provides the children with food, entertainment, and anything else they need as the Carriage travels to its mysterious destination. The only thing Smooch will not do is allow the children off the Carriage, or let them talk to the Carriage's mysterious driver. There is a subplot where the boy's older sister learns from a mysterious teenage ice cream van driver about the existence of the Runaway Carriage and together they attempt to track it down and rescue the children aboard. This is completely dropped with no resolution as the two stumble upon the forest where Smooch comes from and just, like, stay there as the hideous little furballs sing several songs in a row about how friendship is good. Riveting. (The strangest anecdotal proof of this movie's existence via the early days of the Internet: There is sequel fanfiction of the sister and the ice cream man living together with their children and the awful animals if you care to look for it.) The last act of the film is what everyone remembers, if they remember this movie at all. The boy manages to find the Carriage's driver and it turns out this scary mofo makes "Pinocchio's" Pleasure Island coachman look like a sweetheart. His plan is to dump the children in a ditch where they will be whipped by midgets in dog masks as they use tea strainers to filter tiny magical minerals from the hard dirt. Failing to do this means they will be trapped inside a magical painting of a haunted theme park. The Carriage driver then transforms the boy into a duck. What follows is a sequence where the boy/duck wanders helplessly through the rain, crying and singing a long, long, sad, sad song about how he regrets everything that led him to this fate. At the end of the song, the boy/duck suddenly realizes that he can fly and vows to somehow save the children - and then he is shot by a poacher. I turned to my husband and said, "If this ends right here, this is the ballsiest children's film I've ever seen." I can emphatically say that it does not end there. Instead what follows is an absurd chain of events that end with the Carriage driver flushed down a giant toilet and the children celebrating with a food fight. Unsurprisingly, the included TV spot is heavy on clips from this scene. Only watch "The Runaway Carriage" yourself if you truly wish to exorcize frightening childhood memories. Only let children watch it if you hate them. ----- Next movie: Boops and Fiddlesticks 3: Farewell to the Flesh
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Jul 19, 2016 01:54
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Rahonavis posted:Apparently made as part of the Canadian Content initiative (but, weirdly, filmed mostly in Tonga), this children's film with a staggeringly innocuous title was a mainstay of "mom and pop" video stores in the early 1980's. Actual information regarding the production of this film is scarce; it stars no known actors, has no credited writer or director, and indeed has no credits at all - the film begins with a simple title card and ends with an abrupt cut to black. This has only added to the reputation of "The Runaway Carriage" as what had to have been a vividly remembered fever dream rather than a real film from the now-adult people who watched it once as children and recalled it only as a rich source of nightmares and general constant sense of unease. Mike Meyers and Dana Carvey's secret canadian underground trilogy concludes with "Farewell to the Flesh." The series about two silent clowns and their hijinks passed under the noses of many fans because of a lack of verbal dialogue.! All jokes and punch lines are visual gags. In the finale stall mention Boops (Meyers) and Fiddlesticks (carvey) decide that the only adventure left to them, is to transfer themselves into animated characters. The two undergo a variety of attempts at this, poisoning themselves with ink, subjecting themselves to hydrolic presses, and while their bodies behave similar to animated figures, it isn't enough. When interviewed, Meyers explained that the whole series is a letter to Wayne's World fans, telling them to let it go, they are not performing moneyed that fly out of my butt. In the end, after implied decades of struggle, the two clowns die in a nursing home of neglect and abuse. Canadian officials felt the film was in such poor taste they refused to release it and retroactively pulled the first two films stating, "of this were to get out, it would be nickleback all over again. Those who have seen a cut of the film stated that fans were not missing much, as the middle third of the film is just two clowns cutting themselves and bleeding on animation cells Next up... The Trans Plant
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Jul 19, 2016 03:47
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Roydrowsy posted:
The New Braffelburg nuclear power plant is one of the finest new power generating facilities in the United States... until a break in cooling rod protocol causes beta radiation to interact unexpectedly with a chemical in the plant's new shipment of artificial sweetener. The result: everyone in the plant now changes gender whenever they have a cup of coffee! Can the lunch room supervisor (Kevin James) help control the gender-bending madness? Was the beautiful new female safety specialist he's fallen for (Courtney Cox) a woman this morning? Will the plant supervisor (Kelsey Grammer) be able to keep the staff's surging hormones under control long enough to pass their annual regulatory inspection? Will the plant engineer (Martin Mull) find a way to break the plant staff out of EPA quarantine? Will the company CEO (Bea Arthur) fire everyone first? Does the chief of security (Christopher Walken) REALLY think he can pull off a pink skirt and black leggings? Any thought of nuanced discussion of important societal issues will fly out of the window during the infamous "flying buttons" scene in the cafeteria. Let the King of Queens be your captain through the turbulent seas of gender dynamics and uncomfortable laughs! From the people who will eventually bring you Paul Blart: Mall Cop! Chicken or Fish
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Jul 26, 2016 22:06
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Chicken or Fish Dennis Fish is running for class president, but he has a secret that no one can know about. He's actually a chicken. None of the school knows the truth until his opponent Duwayne Oink sets out to expose him, but Oink has a few secrets of his own. The directing debut of Larry the Cable Guy. New film: H.H. Holmes and the Mystery Hotel Egbert Souse fucked around with this message at 04:02 on Jul 27, 2016 |
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Jul 27, 2016 03:59
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Egbert Souse posted:H.H. Holmes and the Mystery Hotel Directed by Anthony Harvey. New film: Zardoz: Genesis
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Jul 27, 2016 10:14
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Hedenius posted:New film: Zardoz: Genesis Michael Bay directs CGI de-aged Sean Connery in the greatest comeback ever! Watch the team that brought you The Rock shake heaven and earth in this Zardoz soft reboot. Nicolas Cage as Zardoz. Next: Roll, Pitch, ...Yawn!
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Jul 27, 2016 10:24
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Pierogi posted:Next: Roll, Pitch, ...Yawn! An amateur jet pilot (Justin Kirk) tries to bring honor to his family's name and save the family hangar the only way he knows how: by flying the family jet he inherited from his deceased father in Christmas, Florida's annual 'Christmas In July' Summer Jamboree Festival and Parade. After convincing the mayor of Christmas, FL (Paul F. Tompkins) that he can put together a team of jet pilots and prepare them for the greatest display of aviation tricks that the town has ever seen, he is diagnosed with narcolepsy. With the help of his father's old mechanic/drug dealer (David Spade) and a never-ending supply of cocaine, our hero is able to put together a rag-tag team of pilots, including: a flight simulator child prodigy (Ben Schwartz) , a color-blind model plane enthusiast (Neil Campbell), and an attractive ornithologist (Claudia O'Doherty) whose dream is to fly but is afraid of heights. Will they succeed in putting on the greatest air show Christmas has ever seen? Or will they crash and burn? Next: Long Hair Don't Care
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Jul 27, 2016 21:02
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Franchescanado posted:Next: Long Hair Don't Care Disney presents Long Hair Don't Care Kurt McIntosh is a precocious 11 year old that reads about other children defying school rules to grow their hair out for cancer patients. Inspired, he teams up with his friends to see who can grow the longest hair by the end of the school year. After a freak accident, Kurt's hair won't stop growing! Next: The Adventures of Benedict Arnold in the Ghost Dimension
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Jul 27, 2016 23:43
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Egbert Souse posted:The Adventures of Benedict Arnold in the Ghost Dimension Next: Umberto Lenzi's Dracula Hedenius fucked around with this message at 19:29 on Jul 28, 2016 |
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Jul 28, 2016 19:23
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Hedenius posted:Umberto Lenzi's Dracula Excerpt from Thompson's Cult Film Almanac, 8th ed.: Ironically, this 1970 little-known cult classic actually started life as Ken Russell's Dracula, until Russell and star Oliver Reed walked off the set two weeks into shooting due to budget cuts and an artistic disagreement with the producing team. Lenzi was actually the guarantor's fifth choice to turn the film over to: however, none of the first four choices would pay their own way to Palermo to take over Russell's shoot. As you might guess, the guaranty company was very tight and overdemanding; the crew was given almost no budget, resulting in a series of shortcuts and reused footage from other films that seriously mars the quality of the effort. Easily best remembered for the place where Lenzi did get to spend some money: the famous climactic "Letting of the Blood" scene (shot in a converted swimming pool in the south of Sicily), in which over 900 gallons of fake blood was pumped through the "jugulars" of the thralls. (In fact, Pier Paolo Capponi nearly drowned when the heavy robes he wore as Van Helsing became saturated, making him too heavy for the raft he was standing on to support him.) Performances are actually decent (and one shot of Oliver Reed as Dracula actually wound up in the final cut), but the exposition-heavy narratiin and choppy editing make this one to skip: the story of its making far eclipses the finished product. One can understand why Lenzi has shown reluctance to having it screened again, even without the Stoker estate's demands. 2* Bar Wars
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Aug 6, 2016 00:00
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Bar Wars Two down-on-their luck 30-somethings, get a crazy idea to start a Star Wars themed bar. Ryan (Gordon-Levitt) and Slug (Hill) have to find a way to manage their failing relationships and their employees, not to mention Copyright Lawyers. What they build in the end may not be a Tattooine Cantina, but it's a heck of a good time. Co-starring: Ruth Negga, Bradley Whitford, Mae Whitman, and Michael Pena --- The Sounds of Stone ButtWolf fucked around with this message at 23:12 on Oct 21, 2016 |
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Oct 21, 2016 23:05
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ButtWolf posted:The Sounds of Stone A student film made on a budget of about $60 + a few cases of beer. A sparsely narrated story tracking the history of a library on campus, from its original history as part of an old church, through its partial demolishment and reconstruction in the war, up to its recent history as the site of a locally-game-changing anti-discrimination protest. Obviously an amateur effort, but with a surprisingly haunting message about the conflicting permanence and transience of man-made structures. Slated for a professional documentary-style remake in 2019, Sean Bean to narrate. New Title: The Second Witness
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Oct 22, 2016 01:34
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jivjov posted:The Second Witness A terrible secret. A horrible crime. And the only witness hasn't spoken since 1998. But there was a second witness: his split personality. Starring Forest Whitaker, Sophie Turner, Jimmi Simpson, and introducing Arty "Small Fry" Petrosian as "Dickless McMillan." Next title: Piss! The Return Xealot fucked around with this message at 14:14 on Oct 22, 2016 |
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Oct 22, 2016 14:06
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Xealot posted:Next title: Piss! The Return When his childhood issues with nocturnal enuresis resurface after a one-night-stand, (Paul Rudd) must discover the cause of and solution to his nightly sheet-soaking before his spreading reputation as "The Bedwetter" permanently ruins not just his mattress, but his chance at finding true love. A Murder of Dolphins
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Oct 22, 2016 22:19
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Inkspot posted:A Murder of Dolphins EEEE EEEE EE EEEE EEE EEE EE? EEEEEEE EEEEEE, EEEEE EEEE EEEE EE. EEEEE EE EE E E E EEEEEEE E E. EEEEE? EEEEEEE! Starring EEEEEEEE EEEEE EEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEE A film by EEEE EEEEEEE New film Bigfoot in New York
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Oct 23, 2016 00:03
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Egbert Souse posted:EEEE EEEE EE EEEE EEE EEE EE? EEEEEEE EEEEEE, EEEEE EEEE EEEE EE. EEEEE EE EE E E E EEEEEEE E E. EEEEE? EEEEEEE! Bigfoot In New York An animated film about Big Foot, the original Monster Truck, and featuring all the new monster truck legends (grave digger, max D, el toro loco, and more! Big Foot, realizes that the world of Minster Trucks have passed him by. Rejected by his peers, Big Foot decides to move out of the country and travel to New York City. While there, he teams up with Harjit a young man who had quit medical school but didn't want to face his parents. Together, they team up and form an Uber Driving Team. They are a huge hit as New Yorkers love riding in the original monster truck, and Big Foot loves taking people on adventurous rides. But when the Other monster trucks learn what Big Foot is up to, they decide to team up and steal is glory once again. The race is on for high speed adventure and family fun! Next up: Dick Breakers
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Oct 23, 2016 01:37
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Roydrowsy posted:
Everyone has heard of The Clown Who Cried , the legendary bomb produced by Jerry Lewis at the height of his hubris, a movie so bad and in such poor taste that Lewis has suppressed its release ever since. Few, however, have heard of a movie with a similar fate, produced by a legendary figure of American entertainment, the great Bob Hope. Obstensibly a semi-sequel to his 1940 horror-comedy classic The Ghost Breakers (which, ironically enough, was remade into the 1953 Martin-Lewis vehicle Scared Stiff), Dick Breakers started life as a somewhat dark crime comedy with Hope reprising his role as radio crime reporter Larry Lawrence fighting off a group of private eyes who want him dead for ruining their careers. Just as production was about to begin, however, Hope suddenly entered a period of deep malaise over the state of his career. At the same time, he noticed the excellent reviews and financial success of Death Wish, and used his leverage to turn Dick Breakers into a surprisingly gritty cat-and-mouse tale of comic vengeance. The result? Quick-witted radio crime reporter Larry Lawrence spouts wisecracks as he brutally tortures and kills the private detectives moonlighting as Mafia hitmen responsible for the deaths of all his radio station colleagues. In the climax, Larry finally reaches the don of the family. Telling him to "get bent, Luigi", Larry grabs the boss by the crotch and delivers an audible snap before unloading a sawed-off shotgun at close range. The film was screened only once for Hope and Paramount's top executives. Both mutually agreed that the picture was a potential disaster and would permanently damage Hope's career, so all prints were destroyed immediately. Only 10 minutes worth of random footage discovered in an abandoned editing booth in 1983 remains. The Hope estate to this day disavows all knowledge of the film's existence. The World's Fattest Goalie
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Oct 23, 2016 04:15
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HypnoCabbage posted:Everyone has heard of The Clown Who Cried , the legendary bomb produced by Jerry Lewis at the height of his hubris, a movie so bad and in such poor taste that Lewis has suppressed its release ever since. Inspired by the Atom and His Package song "GOALIE" The story of Jocelyn Baleine. Born and raised in Montreal Canada, Baleine decided to attend college in the United States. For the longest time, he had ambitions of becoming an NHL hockey star, but his obsessive overeating ruined that dream for him. In fact, he decides to attend college in Arizona, in the hopes that he can escape his hockey dreams. One day, while watching his college team play (he was reluctant to do so, but couldn't stay away), the goal of his college team is in a fight and injured. Desperate, the team runs into the stands looking for anybody with enough knowledge of the sport to play. Baleine offers to help. They suit him up and put him in the goal, and he doesn't let a single shot through. While he cannot really move around, the size of his body fills nearly the entire crease and makes him an impenetrable wall. The college team takes him on full time, and the adventure really begins. In a whirlwind of success with the college team, Baleine is swept up by the NHL to serve as a relief goalie for the Arizona Coyotes. While initially, it takes on the feelings of a sports comedy, these illusions are cast off when we enter deep and introspective discussions from the characters. Is Baleine chosen because of his size and skill, or is he being put on display as a source of amusement. Are the women who throw themselves at him doing so as they would any other athlete, or is it some attempt for these women to achieve an ironic sexual experience? Over the duration of the film, Baleine, as he tries to meet the athletic expectations of the team, keeps losing weight, meaning the harder he tries, the less successful he becomes. As more time passes (in between fast action hockey scenes) Baleine enters into philosophical soliloquy after soliloquy. Should he choose hockey, or a normal life? Should he try to maintain his weight and success, or embrace the new person he is becoming? Many film critics viewed it was a fascinating examination of the duality of choice, with a few fat and fart jokes thrown in. Christian film reviews boldly rejected the film, stating that it was a crash course in nihilism for film viewers. While it was deemed critically interesting, it was a box office flop. It has developed a cult following in small subsets. Oddly enough, when these subsets encounter each , they often get into fights as their understanding of the film is so radically different. It was originally proposed that a sequel be filmed, "The Worlds Skinniest Goalie" in which Baleine, suffering from eating disorders and playing in the minor leagues, must decide if he wants to continue his life as it is, or if he wants to try and get back to the time when he was happiest, being overweight and playing for the NHL. They were unable to secure funding. Next Up. The Education of Dorcas Frunt
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Oct 23, 2016 14:19
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Roydrowsy posted:The Education of Dorcas Frunt Released in the wake of educational documentaries like Waiting for Superman, this funny yet shockingly cynical mockumentary follows a group of motivated overenthusiastic young teachers in upstate New York repeatedly trying (and failing) to reach a young girl named Dorcas Frunt who their principal has told them is deeply at risk. As they try more and more radical strategies to get Dorcas to love learning, stop smoking, and at least cut back a bit on the drinking in class, the teachers become outwardly more and more chipper while internally becoming more and more despondent. It is only at the climax, having conceded their failures and joining Dorcas at a bar for her usual night of debauchery, that they learn that "Dorcas Frunt" is actually a 45 year old alcoholic Cajun longshoreman named Peter Larande wearing a dress who wandered into school and was mistaken for a new student. Everyone there (including Larande) is too drunk to care. Monchichi: The Doom That Came to Monchia or Bonobo Wrestling For Dummies
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Oct 26, 2016 22:50
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HypnoCabbage posted:Bonobo Wrestling For Dummies Ikiru 2: Terrorism Comes to the Bureaucracy Raxivace fucked around with this message at 04:01 on Oct 27, 2016 |
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Oct 27, 2016 03:57
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Raxivace posted:Ikiru 2: Terrorism Comes to the Bureaucracy Ikiru 2: Terrorism Comes to the Bureaucracy dir: Claudio Fragasso, under the alias "Floyd Drake"; written by Claudio Fragasso & Rossella Drudi Set in the undefined "near future", the skies have turned green with toxic radiation. The world is ruled by an elite group of billionaires, mutated by inbreeding and pollution into pale dwarves. Under the world's conditions, the trees have grown sentience and are restless with anger. Together they find the burial ground of a hero foretold in prophecy, in a park in China. Ikiru (Greg Sestero) is raised from the dead, and reborn as a Cyborg Messiah--Ikiru.2. His new mission: to destroy the dwarf overlords with his own slime that he sprays from his FingerGuns, so that they can get a toxic taste of vengeance, and allow the Earth freedom to return under the rule of Mother Nature (Margo Prey), who is trapped in a dimension of erotic torture linked to Stonehenge.
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Dec 1, 2016 00:11
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A few title options, since Franchescanado threw the brakes on the thread. Bedknobs and Broomsticks: The Next Generation Homes of the Gnomes Loving the Reptile Gone to the Forest That's Not My Head
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Dec 23, 2016 05:53
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