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https://youtu.be/gKmrQ-Jjuv8 OP is too busy working on his junkie to-do list: 1. Cop 2. Shoot 3. Cop Repeat until dead
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Jun 12, 2016 09:21
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Jun 12, 2016 09:22
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Video is not working in Germany but next up on my junkie to do list is buying 10 different "legal highs" and testing through them
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Jun 12, 2016 09:37
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dethkon posted:https://youtu.be/gKmrQ-Jjuv8 all I want in life is a little bit of love to take the pain away op, if you care about your dad you should get off the junk. you don't want him to pass still worrying about his poor messed up junkie child.
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Jun 12, 2016 09:59
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he doesn't know I had a relapse yet. And I start tearing up a little even thinking about his feelings over all those years before the drugs and also after the drugs. i have been a suicidal worthless piece of poo poo for far longer than the time I have been doing drugs. And I know that he just has been suffering with me forever though he still doesn't really understand a lot about mental illness. i am crying now. i think it is time for closing the thread. i don't know, i just wanted to let the forum have a laugh at my lovely life but it really didn't work out that way.
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Jun 12, 2016 10:10
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how can one have taken H the night before, and fentanyl and morphinsulphat an hour ago and just been drinking be loving crying like a bitch well you can take comedy out of me right now running through my apartment trying to find things that i can build into a syringe so i can squirt some dissolved tablet up my rear end. skit herre fucked around with this message at 10:19 on Jun 12, 2016 |
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Jun 12, 2016 10:12
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What?? Just buy an oral syringe from a pharmacy what the hell.
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Jun 12, 2016 10:36
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I am in Germany. It is the day of the Lord. No syringes on the day of the Lord!
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Jun 12, 2016 10:49
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BEWARE, OP, if you chase the dragon it will turn and chase you. I have lost many friends to this monster; as well as to the White Devil (meth). --- years ago, once, I smoked a little heroin at a party. I think good old fashioned codiene like grandma used to cook has a smoother high, but drat, that smack sure did take the pain out of my worn-out spinal column and knees. ... We need an analgesic as effective as heroin but without the addictive high. It would save many lives of busted-up persons. The guy that invents it should get the Nobel Prize for reduction of human misery. E: But booze works nearly as well. zimboe fucked around with this message at 11:01 on Jun 12, 2016 |
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Jun 12, 2016 10:57
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skit herre posted:I am in Germany. It is the day of the Lord. No syringes on the day of the Lord! that poo poo is impossible to diy. that's the reason 3d printers were invented
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Jun 12, 2016 11:09
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skit herre posted:I am in Germany. It is the day of the Lord. No syringes on the day of the Lord! Get a douche!
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Jun 12, 2016 11:13
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Horrorosaurus posted:Nothing better than speed when you need to insta sober up. Speed is the most evil drug in the world. It turns innocent young flowers into bag whores, turns hipster twats into murderous killers, turns decent Black kids into gunsel hit-men with no regard to the value of their own lives. I speak as a living witness. Word. ... In China, if you are caught with more than 50g or so of such narcotics, you get to ride in the special ambulance to the death chamber and then to the special surgery suite where your organs will be harvested and used to hopefully save more lives that your drugs have taken. I have no problem with this policy, nor should you. TRUMP 2016 Or whatever.
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Jun 12, 2016 11:15
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The most evil drug is alcohol lol
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Jun 12, 2016 11:23
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Zidrooner posted:The most evil drug is alcohol lol Sure, but it's cheap. ... The Irish did not invent public drunkenness, but I like to think we perfected it. zimboe fucked around with this message at 11:29 on Jun 12, 2016 |
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Jun 12, 2016 11:26
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How does this thread exist? What a gassy little number!
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Jun 12, 2016 11:39
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Lesbian Bed Death posted:How does this thread exist? What a gassy little number! Oh, gas this, honkus.
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Jun 12, 2016 11:50
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i could show you pics of my other addiction: my knife, mutitool, EDC etc. collection!
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Jun 12, 2016 12:29
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zimboe posted:We need an analgesic as effective as heroin but without the addictive high. It would save many lives of busted-up persons. These exist but in turn have awful side effects making them not worth using, and I don't forsee this problem being solved any time soon. you can solve the problem of addictiveness by totally altering the view of society on the addict. It should be "oh dear, this poor fellow seems to have lost control of their ability to consume some substances and is being compelled to make awful decisions to fuel the addiciton; clearly they are not happy about their state so let's give them love and support and techniques for overcoming addiciton" instead of "this parasite was warned not to touch the devil drugs but he didnt listen and now he's pawning off his mothers jewelry with no regard for morals. Kick him out of his house! Send him to jail! that will teach him" edit: reminds me how LSD or psilocybin i think are an excellent treatment for cluster headaches, so they're trying to derive a compound that alleviates the aches but removes the psychedelic component. God forbid someone has his view of things expanded. Zidrooner fucked around with this message at 13:19 on Jun 12, 2016 |
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Jun 12, 2016 13:14
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Hey OP hope you're hanging in there. People have come back from worse situations. Good luck and maybe stop looking for things to inject in your butt? Best wishes
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Jun 12, 2016 13:14
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my dad always said "dope is for dopes" he was a wise man
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Jun 12, 2016 13:56
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Zorodius posted:Hey OP I just did 8mg Subutex, some Lyrica, a beer and a Joint. And I have a huge container with ice cream in front of me. its alright
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Jun 12, 2016 14:24
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zimboe posted:Sure, but it's cheap. putting all those elipses in your posts makes them seem like the saddest slam poetry ever written
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Jun 12, 2016 15:16
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Hey OP, just out of curiosity, you're not from Berlin are you? I mean, heroin is hilariously easy to get ahold of here too, but I don't think you are. Don't waste your money on "legal highs" from online headshops or whatever, they range from "useless" to "that one TCC story all the non-TCC people keep telling where a bunch of people went blind". Get yourself to a Suchtberatung and change your therapist and commit to therapy or whatever. I know it's tempting to throw whatever in your dumb face/butt that will make that feeling of "I hosed my life up right at the starting line, good job self!" go away but trust me no one is gonna go "Oh thank god that fucker skit herre is finally dead good riddance" when you're gone (except SA maybe?)
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Jun 12, 2016 15:41
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Famethrowa posted:all I want in life is a little bit of love to take the pain away Aaaaand this is me digging around for my Spiritualized CD. Great music, but hard not to fiend for dope while listening to it.
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Jun 12, 2016 15:49
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JiveHonky posted:thanks Anime is Blood, i will add this to the excel sheet. GBS is addicted to hate.
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Jun 12, 2016 15:50
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rotoscoped posted:Don't waste your money on "legal highs" from online headshops or whatever, they range from "useless" to "that one TCC story all the non-TCC people keep telling where a bunch of people went blind". I suppose something branded as a "legal high" from a store that also sells bongs or whatever is bound to be trash. But (certain) research chemicals, sold as not for human consumption are great. If you buy stuff like al-lad, 5-mapb or methoxphenidine you will not be disappointed. If you buy xXDiabloXx ultimate crazy herbal partypills you might deserve your blindness.
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Jun 12, 2016 16:24
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i miss all the cathinone based drugs that were big up until 5yrs ago like methylone or even mephedrone which was soo incredible it ended up being the only drug ive been compelled to flush down the toilet out of concern for myself. no wonder everyones so sad and drinking or doing heron in 2k16
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Jun 12, 2016 16:40
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op if you care about your dad so much maybe try not to od while he is alive ??
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Jun 12, 2016 16:56
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Ive never even heard of all these chemicals that people are into these days and im glad of it for once in my life
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Jun 12, 2016 16:57
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rotoscoped posted:Hey OP, just out of curiosity, you're not from Berlin are you? I mean, heroin is hilariously easy to get ahold of here too, but I don't think you are. Hey rotoscoped, nah, the city I talk about but don't live in directly but an half an Autobahn hour away is Frankfurt am Main If you know your way around this city is just poo poo rear end crazy and I am surely not part of the "scene" so I bet there is a lot more going on. I did all this. I first quit the subutex/subuxone, which was in one way hell, as in explosive diarrhea, pain, extremely suicidal thoughts and all the nice stuff, but in another way really easy because after a week it was much better and then I was quickly over it. Then I was tapering of the benzos from quite a high amount. And I reached zero and I had shaking hands and a slightly shaking head, pulse rate was crazy high from waking up to going sleeping which hosed me up so much psychologically, that I took my dad's beta blockers for some time, extreme sweating, crazy nightmares and strongly elevated fear of course. But it just wouldn't get better at all and over time these symptoms gnawed away at me and I after a month and halft of no benzos (and weeks of tapering down) felt i just couldn't take it anymore. And as the idiot I am I thought because on one hand quitting subutex was momentarily harder but more manageable I'd, and on the other hand the effects of it much stronger than those of benzos when you are used to them, which was at least for me, basically zero, as in nicotine for a smoker,i'd start taking subutex again. and writing this took me much longer than you would think, 'cause I am very high, not very smart and not good at english. so i stop here cause I need a break or something. Nobody cares anyway, I didn't want to open a E/N thread. see you later or close this skit herre fucked around with this message at 18:57 on Jun 12, 2016 |
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Jun 12, 2016 18:31
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That was hard to read, let me get this straight: you were addicted to bupe and benzos, decided to get clean, successfully kicked bupe addiction, but was not able to overcome the severity of benzo withdrawal so you thought you might as well go back to using bupe so as not to feel so lovely about the ordeal? Also I care. I am sad to see that someone many kilometers away is enduring such suffering and I want to help and offer compassion cause I've been in similar situations Zidrooner fucked around with this message at 21:38 on Jun 12, 2016 |
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Jun 12, 2016 21:28
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Sorry, my English isn't even good when I am not high as gently caress and having double vision. Yes, you got it right. The effect of the bupe totally erased the benzo withdrawal symptoms. Well, after another bad event today that I don't want to go into, I will try to quit once again . I already bought the loperamide  I mean I have one close friend and a great dad and that's more than many people with those issues have. This is one weird thread, I don't get why it wasn't closed already. skit herre fucked around with this message at 22:06 on Jun 12, 2016 |
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Jun 12, 2016 22:03
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How did you end up taking subutex? Was it given to you after a previous bout of opioid abuse or is it outright the first opioid you got addicted to? If bupe is the 1st things are looking "difficult" instead of "very difficult" as far as your opioid addiction is concerned Your bigger problem seems to be your benzo addiction. You even acknowledge this by way of throwing away your benzos. However, this isn't enough, benzos belong to a group of substances called gabaergics can which include alcohol and lyrica. You need to stop all gabaergics to be free but don't do it on your own as the withdrawal is very dangerous You also mention taking antidepressants. Which are you on and which were you in the past. If you imagine these addictions just gone with no effort, do you see yourself reaching for the pills again? It would be strange not to. This is the most emotionally draining part, but you can do it while high. Introspect: find the things that drive you to want to be hosed up constantly: boredom? Lack of meaning in life? Painful voices that don't shut up? Can't stand the thought of yourself? Defeated? All these thoughts and feelings can be bent to your will There is much inner work to be done in order to be free of addiction
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Jun 12, 2016 22:24
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skit herre posted:he doesn't know I had a relapse yet. And I start tearing up a little even thinking about his feelings over all those years before the drugs and also after the drugs. i have been a suicidal worthless piece of poo poo for far longer than the time I have been doing drugs. And I know that he just has been suffering with me forever though he still doesn't really understand a lot about mental illness. i am crying now. i think it is time for closing the thread. i don't know, i just wanted to let the forum have a laugh at my lovely life but it really didn't work out that way. OP, most people in this thread, even the ones making fun of junkies (hi) want nothing more then you to be happy and healthy buying dumbass knives and shitposting on our dumb dead comedy forum. Good luck getting clean. If you don't like yourself enough to do it for you, do it for the people who love you in your life.
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Jun 12, 2016 23:26
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Hey OP get a Schrade Viper pocket knife. I got one from my dad and i already almost killed a man out in the woods with it.
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Jun 12, 2016 23:32
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OP have you tried FST yet
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Jun 12, 2016 23:37
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Frog Act posted:OP have you tried FST yet Boo this man! Boooooooooooo!
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Jun 12, 2016 23:56
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OP why do you feel the need to tell us this just do what youre gonna do, you lousy piece of poo poo. Dont make strangers complicit in your bullshit
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Jun 13, 2016 00:40
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ScrotoTurboSperg posted:OP why do you feel the need to tell us this gently caress off its entertaining
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Jun 13, 2016 00:42
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skit herre posted:Sorry, my English isn't even good when I am not high as gently caress and having double vision. Combo of opiate withdrawal and benzo withdrawal is the loving worst. Also, depending on how long you were on the bupe + other opiates, it can give you random ghosty withdrawal symptoms for MONTHS. The longest I've been off bupe since starting it legally has been right at a year (had a baby). I felt ghost withdrawal symptoms a lot in the first few months, and they never completely stopped before I realized I didn't know what the gently caress I was getting myself into having a baby and assuming the dad and I wouldn't be seriously affected by stress and sleeplessness, and I called my Suboxone doc. So what you felt was probably a combo of longer-term withdrawals from the bupe, and benzo withdrawal, which is horrific by itself. I've never experienced long withdrawal like that from any other opiate, even morphine or OCs. With those, it was a week of hell, another week of mild hell, a third week of uncomfortable poo poo, and then I was done. Would have been great if I had the mental ability to stay sober. Staying on the bupe, especially legally, while kicking the benzos is a legitimate path, and probably the one you're most likely to succeed with. I can't help but empathize with you a fuckton, my dad suffered along with me, and I kept using partially because I couldn't stand having broken his heart. I was depressed as poo poo too, and I didn't believe non-high medication, eg antidepressants would work on me, because that's how depression works. Makes you believe, makes you think you know that nothing with a potential happy ending works. Look. OK. The bupe does a great job of filling the "I want drugs" urge your brain has. You can get off of everything else with it, if you decide to, and then you can taper it down when you're ready. I know people worry about being tapered down too fast, too soon, but my doc has been excellent about that. She knows I've lost my home once to finances, again because I had to separate from an abusive partner, she knows all about the abuse. When I asked to start tapering down a while ago, she asked if I was sure. Not because she's a pusher, because she actually gives a poo poo. Told me to call her, even if it's 4 AM on a Sunday, if I felt I was in danger of using due to the taper. It sucks poo poo and life hurts but it's still worth living, dude. I said I wouldn't be a buzzkill again, but you said you're quitting. It would be nice if you could skip quitting 25 times like I did.
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Jun 13, 2016 01:17
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