webex thread: from each according to their inability to mute their phone

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > webex thread: from each according to their inability to mute their phone

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Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

https://twitter.com/bea_ker/status/700161865192615936

# ¿ Nov 2, 2016 18:13

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 18:20

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Miss-Bomarc posted:

(joins call)
"Hi everybody, so this meeting is--
(oh, I better mute my phone so I'm not That rear end in a top hat)
"THANK YOU FOR PRESSING THE MUTE COMMAND."
"YOU ARE NOW MUTED."
"TO UN-MUTE, HIT STAR-6."
"TO PLACE THE CALL ON HOLD, HIT STAR-4."
"TO LEAVE THE CONFERENCE, HIT STAR-2."
"TO HEAR OTHER PHONE COMMAND OPTIONS, HIT STAR-8."
"YOU WILL NOW BE RETURNED TO THE CONFERENCE."
"-omarc? Miss-Bomarc? Hello?"
"THANK YOU FOR PRESSING THE UN-MUTE COMMAND."
"YOU ARE NO LONGER MUTED."
"TO MUTE YOUR HANDSET, HIT STAR-6..."

lol

# ¿ Nov 4, 2016 13:22

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Miss-Bomarc posted:

No, we are not permitted to have "mute" buttons on the actual phone. The idea, as it was explained to me, is that it's an info-security thing. People at neighboring cubicles might have discussions where proprietary information is exchanged, and we have to be able to mute our phones when that happens, BUT without a positive signal that our phone has been muted we can't be sure that it's on mute.

Evidently there's some process by which you can set the menu back to "short" (where it only says "YOU HAVE NOW BEEN MUTED, TO UN-MUTE HIT STAR-6") but:

*You can't get into this conference-call menu unless you're in an actual conference call
*The option is apparently buried three menu levels deep and there's no indication of where you have to go to change it
*It doesn't persist, so you have to do it again every time you dial into a conference.

holy gently caress lmao

# ¿ Nov 6, 2016 20:36

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Smythe posted:

its cool that gamers can get 40 drat dudes in a molten core raid with subgroups, muting, etc - pretty reliably, and yet fortune 5 businesses are epic conference call fail. its cool to think that i have a more robust collaborative toolchain with my dota buddies than p deece 7 figmen have at work, which is true, by a longshot.

this is a good point and also hilarious

# ¿ Nov 8, 2016 18:25

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Mad Wack posted:

at my job every conference room is owned by a department and assigned to the admin of that apt - this leads to you booking a room and getting a decline plus form email from the admin. there is no structure across the company for how these rooms are booked and each admin comes up with their own process so depending on what room you try to get you may just have a short im convo or you may be logging into lotus notes to submit a form to a database or even doing a transaction or two in sap. its really cool and good because every dept has way less rooms then they need so you get tribal warfare over rooms and hidden conference rooms.

my mind was blown when i went into finance and was introduced to the "cave" a conf room that looks like a group of cubes but the walls have been removed from the inside so people can meet. then after befriending the us controller i learned that the cave had a hidden cave that was actually a full conference room marked as a mother's room hidden in the back of the cave. also another group successfully lobbied to move the company convenience store to the cafeteria so they could turn it into a meeting room but they kept the keys with their admin so nobody could steal it. my dept (it, what a shocker) consolidated our data center and ops room into one room so the old noc became a hidden conference room that you need retina scanner access to get to and its forbidden to bring anyone outside the dept to it

so yeah people get weird about conference rooms and meeting titles

oh forgot one other thing, all our official conf rooms have those little touchscreens where you can book the room but one day global changed the corp directory backend without consulting the vendor so now for four months they just say "error: unreachable host" and flash between red and green

i don't really pay too much attention to any of this as i am currently consumed in the coffee room wars

a truly top notch username/post combo

# ¿ Nov 13, 2016 05:38

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

ahmeni posted:

at least you'll know why the audio isn't working

# ¿ Nov 15, 2016 18:30

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

indigi posted:

this isn't something that is predictable

lol, just lol

# ¿ Nov 17, 2016 18:35

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Bloody posted:

i have not checked my work voice mail nor answered my work phone in over two years

I have occasionally answered my phone but lol at voicemail

# ¿ Nov 18, 2016 23:10

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Elysiume posted:

half of my coworkers can't remember their voicemail PINs and have had voicemails for months

It me

# ¿ Nov 18, 2016 23:17

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Maximum Leader posted:

i get an email with a wav file when i get voice mail. its very needs suiting and you guys should look into it. voicemail pin lol

I have this option, and don't use it, because I don't want voicemail

# ¿ Nov 19, 2016 19:09

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Stymie posted:

it's kind of weird to read all these stories that boil down to "the work i do is so unimportant that i can be incommunicado for days on end and it makes no difference to anyone"

it's u lol

# ¿ Nov 20, 2016 01:50

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Iridium posted:

celebratory update: our telecomms people have agreed to set up my VM box to play a message (which i will record to tell people to gently caress off) and then not let them leave a message.

i feel more productive already.

this is actually very good

# ¿ Nov 21, 2016 15:19

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Iridium posted:

oh poo poo that reminds me

in addition to my company's general conference line like the webex / skype poo poo, our phone system has several dedicated conference lines. no special access code is needed, it's for emergencies: if there's a massive outage, you can dial into just a basic phone number from anywhere at all and be on the bridge. they're not commonly used now (short of super severe network emergencies), but when i first joined the company and worked in operations it was the standard. each time we had a critical outage, they'd send out the alert and one of us would have to hop on.

but this got to being a problem because absolutely everyone could call in, and the number would spread very quickly. the people trying to work on the issue would be trying to coordinate and do poo poo, but the 'problem manager' would want constant updates, and demand that everyone stop talking to update whatever other random middle manager hopped on and demanded info. as you'd expect, this became a complete clusterfuck, so they tried to implement a rule saying that people working the issue would be on line X, while anyone needing noncritical updates would have to call line Y, where the problem manager would pop over and provide updates. except guess what: the numbers never changed. so everyone would just call in to line X anyway and start making demands. on top of that, though, we discovered that in a few instances, former employees would call in for the hell of it now and then (there'd be something every day usually), with one that they discovered had been doing so for multiple years. a few managers freaked out but they didn't really have a way to stop him. he'd just sit and listen though so it's not like anyone cared.

around the time i switched out of operations it had become standard for people working the issue to call in to line X on their desk line, then just call one another on personal cell phones to actually coordinate work. we'd get yelled at for doing so because 'everything is supposed to be open so nobody who might have a solution is left out'. didn't stop anyone.

Impressively bad

# ¿ Nov 23, 2016 02:21

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Iridium posted:

lol storytime

back in my Ops days, they called an emergency, we all hopped on the bridge. it was an LDAP issue at one of our subsidiary locations, a small spot. their AD had gone offline somehow and nobody could log in to their workstations and poo poo. i got dismissed from the call since it wasn't my area, but i hung on cuz it sounded weird. all our AD guys agreed that the server was unreachable, but it was in their remote tiny datacenter so they had to have the single local IT guy check it.

except he wasn't there. the director of that location was called in and said he'd run to Staples and wasn't sure when he'd be back. they had to patiently explain to him that until the guy got back, nothing could happen, because we couldn't touch the server from corporate while it was offline. so the director kept calling the guy's cell.

after like half an hour he called into the bridge from the parking lot, tons of noise, said he was buying a network hub and he'd call back in when he got back to the office, and hung up. a little while later, boop, the AD server comes up and everything seems ok.

but our network guys start interrogating him before closing out the bridge to find out what had happened. they were eventually and reluctantly told that their switch had run out of ports. rather than contact them to make arrangements for a new one (which is part of what they handle on behalf of the subsidiary locations like this), he just went and got a little D-Link hub, plugged it into the switch, and moved a few cables over to it. and it turns out the AD was one of those. the whole emergency was caused when that little 4 port (FOUR. PORT.) hub had finally died.

and god bless the mute function because i was laughing my loving rear end off while our network guys tore him a new rear end in a top hat about it.

loving Lomarf

# ¿ Nov 25, 2016 04:42

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Just-In-Timeberlake posted:

*i dial in
*other person dials in

*person integral to call doesn't dial in

5 minutes of silence later

"reschedule?"
"yep"
"later"

Sounds perfect tbh

# ¿ Dec 2, 2016 03:52

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Iridium posted:

edit- and/or the meeting that everyone else agreed to cancel in an email chain you weren't added to.

brutal meeting ownage

# ¿ Dec 4, 2016 18:36

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

just listen to Stand Up by Ludacris instead

# ¿ Dec 5, 2016 15:18

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

duTrieux. posted:

terrifying thing heard on webex no. 27763c:

"I think we can map out every use case cleanly."

lmfao

# ¿ Dec 5, 2016 20:40

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Tatsujin posted:

I did this yesterday and one of my coworkers messaged me on slack and demand I pet my cat more during the meeting

this doesn't belong itt because it is good

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 16:23

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

lmfao at the above, this is fantastic

# ¿ Dec 6, 2016 18:06

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

maniacdevnull posted:

May the gods preserve you, fellow traveler

# ¿ Dec 7, 2016 01:32

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Iridium posted:

sorry, this started as a lol anecdote and turned into a story. but fuckit.

our current huge project, the one that we'd been asked to work on in the office this weekend, the one that was recently moved to "AT RISK", the one that's cranked my alcoholism to 11 lately and had me ideating suicide basically hourly for the past couple of weeks... has been pushed off a couple of days,

we've been very heavily dependent one our team that handles the identity management poo poo the whole buildout. my boss, basically weekly in our stupid mandatory one on one session, always asks if I see any looming concerns and every single time i point out that if the IDM poo poo isn't in perfect working order, we're sunk while they right their ship.

last weekend those guys were taking a huge step in migrating a very very critical app from the old IDM platform to the new. as in, the app that hosts people's paycheck info: to most employees, the #1 by a mile most important thing we do.

we've had a project every year since 2010 to replace the old app, only to have it pushed back. the old has been out of support since ~2009, and in fact the company that created it is no longer in business. they've gotten the new platform largely stood up and are slowly migrating applications to it. i hate the old app. i used to support it, in part, in operations. years of problems, and sketchy projects to try to fix it, and management pushing off the replacement went from being a constant pain in the rear end to what is effectively an outright insult in the face of the years i've been warning people of the coming apocalypse this is causing. and yet, because the new app keeps being a struggle for that team to put together correctly, dipshit project managers wheel and deal and keep relenting at the last minute and let their apps be built out on the old app solely so that they can meet their dates, which is just a direct add to our deep, deep technical debt.

now, granted, i don't support it anymore. the projects i work on are dependent on those guys obvs, but really there's no skin off my back. but that insult factor gets to me, and i try to do what i can to make life less poo poo for the operations guys that do have to gently caress with it weekly.

that migration last weekend broke everything. and had to be backed out to the old platform. we can't move forward until they decide how to fix it, and we may be launching a huge new project on that old platform.

the new platform is oracle.

gently caress oracle.

Bloody posted:

quit

please do not kill you are self, forums poster Iridium

# ¿ Dec 8, 2016 00:22

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Iridium posted:

yeah, nobody wants that.

did get a new av tho.

the av is good

# ¿ Dec 8, 2016 00:32

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Captain Foo posted:

the av is good
the webex is evil

# ¿ Dec 8, 2016 01:54

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Agile Vector posted:

i look at you all
see the VP thats sleeping
while my tp gently beeps

i look at the screens
and i see they need tweaking
while my tp gently beeps

# ¿ Dec 8, 2016 21:51

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

DuckConference posted:

It's real and the whole thread is good

# ¿ Dec 9, 2016 17:13

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Syncopated posted:

eh, classic art memes or whatever was great as well to speak nothing of the mome thread.

Classic art was probably the best thread but this one is real good too

# ¿ Dec 11, 2016 07:59

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Rex-Goliath posted:

the classic art thread made it to my facebook feed so that one was def. the most successful

There was some Tumblr or something that did it first but we did it more and better

# ¿ Dec 11, 2016 17:26

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

uncurable mlady posted:

I forgot about that thread but yeah, that was probably better

that was the best of yospos nerd joke creativity, but this is the best real-world horror thread imo

# ¿ Dec 12, 2016 01:14

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Sun Wu Kampf posted:

45 minutes into the meeting: nnnnnnNNNNRRRRGH *splashpfffrtttttfrtttt*

immediate meeting collapse as everyone either cracks up or exclaims in disgust

excellent

# ¿ Dec 12, 2016 20:41

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Iridium posted:

me- Ok, so I guess my concern is the process side. We want to make sure if <group> is working on this they have all the details they need.
vendor- well this one's much more complex and is probably better suited to an admin role, like Lynn than the casual editors you have in <group>
me- Ah, ok. So we'll have to wait until she's back tomorrow so we can scope the workload for us.
Other tech- right but she's pretty heavily loaded but she's already been working with <group>, maybe they can handle it.
vendor- no, just to be clear, this is a much more detailed level of effort than <group> has been working on. it's really more at Lynn's speed.
PM- ok so what i'm hearing is that we need to get this documented so that <group> can get to work on it.
vendor- ... no. <explains again>

5 MINUTES LATER

PM- ok, action items, we need to get the documentation for <group>....

Lynn

# ¿ Dec 12, 2016 21:34

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Iridium when you quit print out your posts itt and staple them to your notice

# ¿ Dec 16, 2016 02:20

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Shaggar posted:

you could install skype preview (for skype) which is a better chat client than normal skype for skype or skype for b

Lmao that this is a post that needs to exist

# ¿ Dec 19, 2016 23:22

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

mishaq posted:

hello my life

Borat voice my life

# ¿ Dec 19, 2016 23:57

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

mishaq posted:

my company acquired a small company that had slack and we keep it up

I'm choosing to believe the purchase was really just a way to get slack into the company over the head of some idiot manager that was refusing for some reason

# ¿ Dec 20, 2016 06:55

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

dragon enthusiast posted:

discord for businesses

John Fuckface
- currently playing Microsoft Excel 2016

Yeah but what's Tom Shitfucker up to

# ¿ Dec 21, 2016 03:24

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

maniacdevnull posted:

Col. Panic is Gen. Protection Fault's right hand man

# ¿ Dec 21, 2016 19:24

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Optimus_Rhyme posted:

You mean like that time a client of mine (stock exchange) went from a mainframe to oracle for processing and Oracle waaaaaaayyy over promised and the day they switched over it died and 6 months later they tripled the number of servers and turned it in again and the traders revolted cause it was a lovely oracle Web interface so they took it offline for a year and paid oracle to make a cmd.exe interface to look EXACTLY like the mainframe interface.

Because the new CIO they hired was a sales exec from Oracle.

hooooooly lol

# ¿ Dec 22, 2016 02:39

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Iridium posted:

when i was in ops i spent some time putting together documentation for the help desk, not so that they could fix poo poo, but so that they could classify stuff correctly.

a year or so later my manager suggested i write it up and i pointed out i had. the help desk said they had nothing of the sort.

we went digging around their office and eventually found it in the cabinet where they keep most of their documentation, which is of course locked at all times with a key only their manager had.

loving Smooth

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 02:14

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# ¿ May 15, 2024 18:20

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Jesus lomarfio

# ¿ Dec 28, 2016 03:00

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > webex thread: from each according to their inability to mute their phone

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