Will I die if I eat this?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Will I die if I eat this?

WELL??????
	EAT IT, PUSSY
	NO YOU WILL DIE
	Goku

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

I'm at my night job and found this plant with these tasty looking fruits on it

I am hungry and its covered in them. It looks kinda like the plum trees in my yard, but they're the wrong color???

Goons, I am placing my life and colon squarely in your capable hands. I am tremendously fat and hungry, so whatever consensus is reached by 2100 est (2.5 hours), I will honor my commitment with a picture of the fruits being consumed.

# ¿ Jun 26, 2016 23:34

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# ¿ May 9, 2024 01:45

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

thats a loving tomato.

Well get a load of Professor Botany over loving here

# ¿ Jun 26, 2016 23:37

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

It is emphatically NOT a mater. I opened one up to try and glean any clue, and I know what the inside of a mater looks like

# ¿ Jun 26, 2016 23:38

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

Iron Prince posted:

why is it daytime at your night job

Because the shift is retardedly long. I guess its more of an evening-night-morning job?

# ¿ Jun 26, 2016 23:39

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

VendaGoat posted:

Have you tried cramming them all into your rear end op?

I have not, do you think that'd safer than eating???? As I have mentioned, I am tremendously fat and hungry so I am rooting for "EAT IT, PUSSY"

# ¿ Jun 26, 2016 23:44

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

If Goku wins do they have to go up my rear end? I need a mod to refresh my poll rules knowledge, but i don't want to be banned for homegrown

# ¿ Jun 27, 2016 00:01

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

Edgar posted:

Looks like a unripe malus fruit. It will taste bitter and give you the runs. So only eat one or two, good luck!

Malus? You got that from a warhammer book you charlatan

# ¿ Jun 27, 2016 00:25

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

UPDATE: less than an hour to go, so i took a better picture

I bit that one open, it tasted really sweet and made my mouth tingly but I could be imagining that because I'm expecting to die

# ¿ Jun 27, 2016 01:10

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

I am starting to think that my internet friends do not have my best interests in mind

# ¿ Jun 27, 2016 01:17

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

donkey salami posted:

Eat a lot at once

That way if poison the poison from one will kill the poison in another

Are you a scientist? That does make sense

# ¿ Jun 27, 2016 01:20

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

cuck cuck im gay posted:

It's a vegetable and you're a goon, so yes

I just noticed this post and want to point out how stupid it is, i am deleting your vote from the poll because you clearly do NOT know whats up

# ¿ Jun 27, 2016 01:27

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

Iron Prince posted:

eat it, if you die we'll make sure someone perma's your account so you got nothin to worry about

Thanks friend. Good to know my affairs are in order.

Rest assured, if I die, my last act on this earth will be to post about it.

Except for making GBS threads my pants I guess that would truly be my last act

# ¿ Jun 27, 2016 01:35

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

donkey salami posted:

I have a scientific calculator app on my phone so I'm scientist

The branches are a good indicator. Like earlier post recommended, take branches and rub vigorously on your inner lower lip

If it's bad your lips fall off

You seem on the up and up. My lips are still attached to my face

15 minutes

# ¿ Jun 27, 2016 01:43

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

I dunno guys, the "NO" option could still make a last minute come-back here

# ¿ Jun 27, 2016 01:44

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

okat everyone says it's safe to eat, seems legit

# ¿ Jun 27, 2016 02:04

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

Khorne posted:

That poo poo looks too much like a Jerusalem Berry and not enough like a Cape Gooseberry for me to eat it. Voting don't eat.

But you did say it's sweet and the toxic one is much more like a tomato flavor. So who knows man.

Jesus loving Christ the only goon with compassion is the blood god, smdh

# ¿ Jun 27, 2016 02:05

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

Goodnight, sweet goons

My only regret is that Goku lost so the anal route is denied

# ¿ Jun 27, 2016 02:13

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

Thanks my baby made it for me

UPDATE: I have not poo poo my pants yet. It tasted pretty good. I'm giving it another hour and then eating the hell out of them.

It had a big pit, so I'm guessing funny-colored plum. This bitter disappointment of a thread is tempered by the knowledge that I can eat good stuff during my stupid long shifts.

Your advice has served me well, despite your best efforts, my sociopathic friends

# ¿ Jun 27, 2016 02:43

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

I can't believe that I literally posted a picture of my face on these forums and I'm not getting more funny insults

# ¿ Jun 27, 2016 02:47

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# ¿ May 9, 2024 01:45

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

Wait I think they might have been poison I'm fe

# ¿ Jun 27, 2016 02:49

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Will I die if I eat this?