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Dr. Dogballs Jr. posted:my dad is a wizard What kind of magic does your dad do? Is he a coin summoner or a nose theif?
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Jun 29, 2016 11:33
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My dad set aside his dreams and ambitions to raise a family. Now he is old and afraid of dying without fulfilling those dreams and considers a divorce with my mom. He will probably die alone, drowning during a storm while sailing around Antarctica.
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Jun 29, 2016 11:34
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Dr. Dogballs Jr. posted:my dad is a wizard gently caress off
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Jun 29, 2016 11:34
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Orkin Mang posted:gently caress off 
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Jun 29, 2016 11:39
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he loves Arbys, sleeping in his chair, and getting deals.
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Jun 29, 2016 12:03
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Zombiepop posted:My dad set aside his dreams and ambitions to raise a family. Now he is old and afraid of dying without fulfilling those dreams and considers a divorce with my mom. He will probably die alone, drowning during a storm while sailing around Antarctica. Sorry to break it to you but Antarctica is all cold so the water is frozen. You can't drown in antarctica
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Jun 29, 2016 12:16
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My dad is very short and I'm pretty tall which means I could totally dunk over him if either of us played basketball.
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Jun 29, 2016 12:40
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I don't remember posting that. Peace out
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Jun 29, 2016 12:44
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My father was...a drinker.
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Jun 29, 2016 13:17
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That's not a joker quote. He drank like a sailor. Then he died of cirrhosis of the liver. Owned, Steve.
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Jun 29, 2016 13:19
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Orkin Mang posted:I don't remember posting that. Peace out will you be my forums dad?
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Jun 29, 2016 13:22
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My biological father abandoned my mother and I when I was like 1, and later in life got really religious and started adopting/fostering kids left and right, which I eventually figured out was possibly out of guilt for abandoning his first born. But now he's a literal cult leader in the Philippines, so I realize I probably dodged a bullet by his leaving. The second guy my whore mother married adopted me and was a pretty good guy, though, but then they got divorced and he left when I was like 14, just when a boy needs a male role model. I don't know what it was about their generation. "Have a bunch of kids, but fuckit, got to do me for a while."
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Jun 29, 2016 13:23
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My father has a PhD in Physics yet he can't figure out how netflix works.
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Jun 29, 2016 13:50
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Business Gorillas posted:Sorry to break it to you but Antarctica is all cold so the water is frozen. You can't drown in antarctica He will find a way, Im sure of it.
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Jun 29, 2016 14:14
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He fixes air conditioners, has a new wife and a couple stepdaughters, and watches fix news all day.
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Jun 29, 2016 14:41
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My dad lives on a remote tropical island, drinks beer and plays golf. In that order. Except when his gout acts up due to drinking too much beer, then he just sits at the pub and drinks beer. (Oh he also owns greyhounds and races them)
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Jun 29, 2016 14:45
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My dad likes to drink sherry
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Jun 29, 2016 14:46
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Thank you for all of the dad stories so far, keep up the good work! Today we will be talking about FEAR. What is your dad afraid of? If you are a dad, what are you afraid of? What do you fear about your children? I'm afraid of being a dad, personally, mostly because I do not want to be spermjacked by some feminist
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Jun 29, 2016 14:47
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My pops largely ignored me unless it was related to something he was interested in. Not saying I didn't like all the camping and music and poo poo but there was no guidance, you know? I never had him sit down and help me with homework or talk to me about girls. To this day we don't really talk and when we do it's kind of weird because he talks to me like he's being this sort of friendly Gandalf person and it's not who I need in my life. He never calls either.
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Jun 29, 2016 14:47
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Dr. Dogballs Jr. posted:my dad is a wizard my dad is a barbarian
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Jun 29, 2016 15:03
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my dad taught me how to not give a gently caress and he rules
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Jun 29, 2016 15:03
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My dad is a 3 letter agency's liaison to another 3 letter after about 26 years in the military. He got hurt during 9/11 when he fell off his treadmill at the Hilton across from the Pentagon and tore his Achilles tendon. He has the gayest boo-boo of all the 9/11 related injuries
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Jun 29, 2016 15:03
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Booblord Zagats posted:My dad is a 3 letter agency's liaison to another 3 letter after about 26 years in the military. He got hurt during 9/11 when he fell off his treadmill at the Hilton across from the Pentagon and tore his Achilles tendon. I can't imagine the pain of that yet I still laughed at the whole situation
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Jun 29, 2016 15:06
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My dad is getting fat as gently caress
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Jun 29, 2016 15:08
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My dad was actually really great, but I didn't talk to him for the last few years of his life over some silly stuff. He was very passive, and for the longest time I thought he let my mom walk all over him but later I realized he just picked his battles very carefully and only spoke up when it was really important to him. Anyway, I wish I had talked to him near the end and that I had gone home more often so other goons with alive dads shouldn't do that, because one day life slows down and you regret it a lot.
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Jun 29, 2016 15:44
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My dad's ashes were dumped into a river where inevitably some hippy drank water thinking it was the nectar of God. Jokes on you, It's just the corpse of Steve.
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Jun 29, 2016 15:56
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My dad moved to the beaches of North Carolina last year .I'm glad he is a happy dad but I'm sad because i don't get to see him much anymore.
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Jun 29, 2016 16:07
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My dad cheated on my mother and divorced her. He spent a few years living at his mother's place. Then when his mother had a massive stroke that left her severely disabled, he put her in the dingiest loving care home he could find and left her to wither and die there for a couple of months, despite the fact that she had enough money she could have had a live-in nurse at her house, which is absolutely what she would have wanted. Then he totally ignored me at her funeral. Then he abused his position as estate executor to try to deny his sister as much money as possible, even when it meant he himself got less money, to the point where he hosed up the estate so bad he almost went to jail. I haven't spoken to my father for sixteen years and I honestly don't expect I ever will again.
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Jun 29, 2016 16:09
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Zombie Boat posted:My dad's ashes were dumped into a river where inevitably some hippy drank water thinking it was the nectar of God. Jokes on you, It's just the corpse of Steve. You know in some cultures they consume the dead in rememberance. That hippy is celebrating your father by consuming his essence
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Jun 29, 2016 17:30
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Business Gorillas posted:You know in some cultures they consume the dead in rememberance. That hippy is celebrating your father by consuming his essence Jokes on that hippy then. They probably got hep c
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Jun 29, 2016 17:38
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One time my friend was telling me about his childhood when he mentioned his dad leaving when he was really young. My immediate reaction was to ask "where did he go?", but as I thought that to myself I started to laugh at how absurd that question was, then I realized it seemed like I was laughing that his dad left and felt awkward so I started laughing more. So the exchange went: Friend: My dad left when I was really young. Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH it's cool though, we're still friends. Anyway, I never knew my dad because he also left when I was young but he's dead now SO I'LL NEVER KNOW HIM. My mom is also dead. RIP dad. RIP mom. Love Live the Orphan
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Jun 29, 2016 17:39
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Hector Beerlioz posted:I can't imagine the pain of that yet I still laughed at the whole situation It's still a lingering pain after 3 surgeries and 15 years. But my brother and I mercilessly make fun of him for it
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Jun 29, 2016 17:41
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My dad is a really cool dad, and has gotten even more chill and cool since he retired- a great dad
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Jun 29, 2016 17:56
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My dad has a giant bald round head, like Charlie Brown. You should see him wear a hat (it is quite amusing). 
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Jun 29, 2016 17:58
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My father is my closest ally, despite all the hell I've put him through. Mom divorced him after 30 years of marriage, and I still haven't forgiven her. ------ Dad and I play online scrabble together...we always have a running match. He is a professional librarian and accomplished wordsmith, and he makes for a top-flight challenger. Playing that game, and using the chat feature to trade a couple messages daily, has done more to solidify our relationship (dare I say friendship?) than I would ever have predicted.
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Jun 29, 2016 18:33
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Also, my dad can totally whip your dad's rear end metaphorically
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Jun 29, 2016 18:35
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He was troubled man burdened by mental illness, alcoholism, and an overbearing wife who died when I was fifteen leaving me confused by my lack of grief despite my belief that I loved him which caused me to question whether I really loved anyone or if I was inherently broken.
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Jun 29, 2016 18:50
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my dad is as tall as a hog and twice as meaty
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Jun 29, 2016 19:25
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my dad plays poker for a living poker! you brought her! also my stepdad is super cool gently caress the rules.
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Jun 29, 2016 20:11
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my dad also introduced me to metal when i was 13 by giving me his copy of Rob Zombie's Hellbilly Deluxe. i returned the favor late last year by introducing him to Corrosion of Conformity through Blind and he loved it. i feel like he would have enjoyed Wiseblood more knowing his music taste, but lol gently caress Wiseblood.
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Jun 29, 2016 20:45
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