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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > imagine I was in an open marriage
 
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net cafe scandal
Mar 18, 2011

Bobbie Wickham posted:

I have never seen an open relationship work, either in real life with people I talk to, or in self-reported posts online. Not to be all :biotruths: but I honestly don't think humans can do open relationships or polyamory or any of that other stuff, because of the amount of effort it takes to form stable relationships that are conducive to raising kids. (I mean the way you've been doing it, not occasional flings or experiments or swapping that aren't a centerpiece of the relationship.)

As you seem to be learning now, it takes a lot of work and dedication to make a long-term partnership function, and that's with just one person. Throwing more people into the mix introduces more variables to go wrong, and increases problems exponentially. So I while I agree that YOU were the problem, I would also argue that having an open marriage was ANOTHER problem. If the open marriage exacerbated and accelerated the destruction of your marriage, then it obviously was a problematic factor. The same way cheating, lying, addiction, indifference, and so on are factors that can destroy a relationship, the way the source of the problems can destroy a relationship.

It seems like you can't handle it when you're taken to task about your actions, and only face up to it with begrudging immaturity. This is an internet forum where no one knows you, and you can't even come in and admit to a bunch of e-strangers that your marriage is in trouble. I can't even imagine how difficult it's been to deal with you in real life. Like, did you really brag to your marriage counselor that you could commit a totally epic suicide if you wanted? Did you actually say that in front of your wife? Were you that cavalier about destroying your family's lives and forcing them to cope with the aftermath and rebuild, year after painful year? I hope you exaggerated so you could look cool to your internet friends, but I also have to wonder about someone this concerned with looking cool for his internet friends.

I think you need some time to think about how petulant, selfish, immature, stubborn, and vain you managed to come across online, and really consider if this carries over from real life. If you drag your feet this much when it comes to owning up to a bunch of e-strangers, I can't even imagine how bad it is when there are real stakes involved. Your poor wife and kids.

Got to agree.

* # ¿ Sep 30, 2017 21:23
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# ¿ May 18, 2024 10:22
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net cafe scandal
Mar 18, 2011

 I think the scariest thing in the world is that you can live for 36 years and still be totally clueless.

* # ¿ Oct 1, 2017 07:20
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net cafe scandal
Mar 18, 2011

 Why did you have kids with this woman?

* # ¿ Oct 2, 2017 02:17
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net cafe scandal
Mar 18, 2011

 Bump.

* # ¿ Oct 8, 2017 01:18
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net cafe scandal
Mar 18, 2011

A 50S RAYGUN posted:

i didn’t participate in the masturbatory retellings of your open marriage but i would like you to know literally everyone who read this thread knew you were going to wind up getting divorced, op


A 50S RAYGUN posted:

i don’t want your dumb Harry Potter cloak but I do have an exciting bridge to sell you, the dumbest man in the world


A 50S RAYGUN posted:

i hope now you realize the hypocrisy of wanting the ‘stability of family life’ while actively undermining the source of family life stability, or that you realize the freedom of being single is a literal desert mirage if you’re not actually single


A 50S RAYGUN posted:

unless I am fundamentally misunderstanding the laws of space and time, your wife was one-half of the parties in a huge hosed up idiot sham two morons decided to call an ‘open marriage’. so unless your wife ‘pulling it off’ was in reference to her pulling off her underwear for Chad at work i’m not sure what you’re referring to


A 50S RAYGUN posted:

my man, i have encountered some shockingly dumb people and opinions on this website, but you’re sprinting strong in the final stretch


A 50S RAYGUN posted:

this dude got cucked so hard he had to make a thread talking about how not cucked he was


A 50S RAYGUN posted:

your wife’s involvement (or unvolvement, because you’re less a person and more a vodka-addled biohusk and thus didn’t really care) in your relationship does not matter because your vicious apathy made it clear you were not going to leave regardless of what she did. mostly because you were more concerned with lying on the internet than actually having a relationship with the person you ostensibly loved.


A 50S RAYGUN posted:

considering you are a booze-fat 36 year old living in your not-mom’s basement in the active process of becoming a deadbeat dad, i do not think your implicit threat is as menacing as it sounded in your head


A 50S RAYGUN posted:

something awful has produced some gems but a loving yospos regular memeposting his way into divorce is hilarious to me

Yeah

* # ¿ Nov 2, 2017 07:19
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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > imagine I was in an open marriage