imagine I was in an open marriage

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > imagine I was in an open marriage

I.N.R.I: May 26, 2011

echinopsis posted:

lmao mate would you like me to actually lay down the times and dates

I'd like to see a photograph of your penis and balls

# ¿ Jul 13, 2016 16:57

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 04:13

I.N.R.I: May 26, 2011

echinopsis posted:

I think he's trying to say that my weight is infinite?

regardless, the op isn't that fat and regardless, how would it even matter here. fact is bro I am getting lad on the regular with different partners and every time is like a god drat ceremony. nah not quite but you know, you get dressed nicely, you do your hair.. this ain't netflix and chill.. gently caress that noise. chill is for lamers and youths. this is mature god drat amazing sex with intimacy and caring.

I mean I ain't looking for an endless stream of girls to have sex with.. at all. just a solid crew of maybe 2.. and we all talk about this. this is how they talk about wanting guys. a solid crew. everyone just wants a solid crew of friends with benefits.

when are they going to make a mainstream movie about this. love actually 2.. love harder

I'm a huge fan of all of the really gay poo poo that you post

# ¿ Jul 19, 2016 03:49

I.N.R.I: May 26, 2011

echinopsis posted:

brazen about it on a far away Internet forum

I'm good at sex chat but honestly it just feels crude to do here

Personally I will be laughing at your expense but maybe some of the YOSPOS posters would be interested in reading an example of your dirty talk so they can take notes, congratulate you etc.

# ¿ Jul 21, 2016 15:35

I.N.R.I: May 26, 2011

Lawrence Gilchrist posted:

I don't actually have to. this is a place to dump my poo poo cos yospos is half intrigued and half grossed out

lately I'm having to prune my list of ladies.
it's taken a while to find people who are interested and now I have too many. I still have a wife and family to maintain which are a priority and I don't want to be a dick and give the ladies too thin of a slice and I'm thinking 2 or 3 is probably a good number but than depends on their level

older ladies are the key. younger people don't really "get it" and even people my age [35] don't much either.
some have tried to drive a wedge between my wife and I, or thought they had special ownership over me. coz it's not just about sex but mostly sex but what's sex without cuddles idk???????

read this out loud and tell me if you notice anything

I would never ever let anything that sounded like that come out of my mouth. but since you asked Ive noticed that the post sounds a big gay monologue from The Wolf of Wall Street if its a drug addicted balding low carb diet YOSPOS poster with flat affect typing it on a computer instead of leonardo dicaprio pretending to say it.

# ¿ Jul 23, 2016 02:58

I.N.R.I: May 26, 2011

No wonder you guys like to play on the computer so much

# ¿ Aug 31, 2016 16:11

I.N.R.I: May 26, 2011

echinopsis posted:

hmm mate one of the most common comments people say about me when they meet me is how comfortable I make them
feel to be themselves. perhaps your problem
is that you foster this lovely unnatural environment by being lovely and unnatural yourself

are u a sofa?

# ¿ Sep 14, 2016 14:10

I.N.R.I: May 26, 2011

du -hast posted:

It speaks a lot to the shutin bitch human being nerds that they turned a thread that was calm / objective about open marriages into a cluster gently caress of SJWs, men's rights activists.

This thread was good but literally has gone to poo poo because most of the stupid bitchass fucks that post in the shithole of a subforum are shutin, autistic motherfuckers who eat poo poo and live in their mom's basement and jack off to child porn all day. Half the people here are immature garbage. Oh I'm an ephebophile or whatever the gently caress it is, such bullshit.

The sad part is that most of the people posting on here are 25 year old virgins that are jealous that a man who loves his wife has formed a mutual agreement with her about an open marriage, and he is enjoying it, and has literally not mentioned anything weird/uncommon with this type of relationship.

So I would encourage you loving retards to go back to masturbating to hentai into your moldy cumsock and actually let people who are adults talk about this lifestyle.

Yeah, nice meltdown.

haha

# ¿ Sep 18, 2016 09:24

I.N.R.I: May 26, 2011

If you like sex and cumming so much then why dont you go and do it yourself

# ¿ Sep 18, 2016 11:21

I.N.R.I: May 26, 2011

You should describe the pussies and boobs of all of the girls you have mature sex with intimacy and caring with for the thread

# ¿ Sep 19, 2016 19:26

I.N.R.I: May 26, 2011

echinopsis posted:

i had sex with my wife today, did some class A drugs.. now hanging with another person and on the piss and maybe gonna do sex stuff? it's not weird anymore this is just monday

U had sex?

# ¿ Oct 24, 2016 19:38

I.N.R.I: May 26, 2011

echinopsis posted:

just got told i was someone's "cock god"

What was his name?

# ¿ Nov 15, 2016 20:13

I.N.R.I: May 26, 2011

hi, im just here to quietly note the YOSPOS phenomenon of being sexually attracted to crippled things. like how in their cat thread all of the cats have like open sores and keep making GBS threads everywhere and have missing limbs etc. its maybe no surprise that this particular strain of sexual deviance is present in their tinder and ok cupid preferences also.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2017 13:36

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# ¿ May 22, 2024 04:13

I.N.R.I: May 26, 2011

Lol@your expense op,. :mrgw:

# ¿ Oct 1, 2017 07:25

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > imagine I was in an open marriage