- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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I have never seen an open relationship work, either in real life with people I talk to, or in self-reported posts online. Not to be all  but I honestly don't think humans can do open relationships or polyamory or any of that other stuff, because of the amount of effort it takes to form stable relationships that are conducive to raising kids. (I mean the way you've been doing it, not occasional flings or experiments or swapping that aren't a centerpiece of the relationship.)
As you seem to be learning now, it takes a lot of work and dedication to make a long-term partnership function, and that's with just one person. Throwing more people into the mix introduces more variables to go wrong, and increases problems exponentially. So I while I agree that YOU were the problem, I would also argue that having an open marriage was ANOTHER problem. If the open marriage exacerbated and accelerated the destruction of your marriage, then it obviously was a problematic factor. The same way cheating, lying, addiction, indifference, and so on are factors that can destroy a relationship, the way the source of the problems can destroy a relationship.
It seems like you can't handle it when you're taken to task about your actions, and only face up to it with begrudging immaturity. This is an internet forum where no one knows you, and you can't even come in and admit to a bunch of e-strangers that your marriage is in trouble. I can't even imagine how difficult it's been to deal with you in real life. Like, did you really brag to your marriage counselor that you could commit a totally epic suicide if you wanted? Did you actually say that in front of your wife? Were you that cavalier about destroying your family's lives and forcing them to cope with the aftermath and rebuild, year after painful year? I hope you exaggerated so you could look cool to your internet friends, but I also have to wonder about someone this concerned with looking cool for his internet friends.
I think you need some time to think about how petulant, selfish, immature, stubborn, and vain you managed to come across online, and really consider if this carries over from real life. If you drag your feet this much when it comes to owning up to a bunch of e-strangers, I can't even imagine how bad it is when there are real stakes involved. Your poor wife and kids.
Whoa. Same.
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Sep 30, 2017 21:27
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May 14, 2024 04:10
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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What's this about?
But I also want to have fun, and go out, and not having someone texting me asking when I'm coming home. I've so enjoyed this trial separation, where I can just be free to be me, and not have to meet someone else's requirements all the time.
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Oct 1, 2017 05:25
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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I've never been independent before. maybe i like it
How old are you
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Oct 1, 2017 05:42
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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right now the issue is spending time with my wife and seeing how she's changed and whether or not i actually want to be with her anymore. since this "split", she's a changed. i tried to ask her yesterday if we reconciled and got back together if she would stay this way or go back to the old way. she got hosed off at me asking and said she doesn't know how she's gonna be acting in a months time or so
and it's not appealing and i am not going to want to be with her if she's acting the way she is. and that interaction was just another in a billion interactions that went poorly, when i felt like i had a genuine question and asked nicely and she immediately jumped on the back foot.
other friends of mine that have separated talk to me about how they are thriving as people on their own, about how being their own entity really makes them happy. and not in a "now i can party" way, but a "now i can run my life my own way" way. they love single them.
welfare state
Wtf does “stay this way” mean?
And how can you never be independent up to the age of 36?
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Oct 1, 2017 21:44
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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Eh, I give op props for coming back and defending his SA account from a probe.
More than his marriage at the time
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Oct 2, 2017 01:24
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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mate there are some horrible assumptions in here. i know what it's like to feel low self esteem and worth and feel lovely about things - believe me - but i never ever felt bad about my wife loving another dude. i mean, there was a slight point of contention between us that i appeared to have no jealously. and i know what that jealousy feels like, because i have felt it when my long term fwb would tell me about the other dudes she slept with. i think there was a factor that i so believed that my wife would never leave me for another guy that i just had no sense of risk, the other factor being that maybe i just didn't care what she did.
well of course on yospos i'm poo poo posting. i had legit question about how do i replace her pc. everything else is just poo poo and rolling with the punches etc
but the final question still remains - is that what i want? is putting a huge amount of effort into always trying to meet her moving goalposts worth it? am i going to be happy? it's not about wanting to drink and gently caress other woman. it's about finding a place and a way in life i'm happy. the longer i see how my wife is going to act if we reconcile the more i see it's going to lead to more of a situation where i hate going to work but i don't want to come home. and i can definitely see that as i grow self esteem, that being at home with her is going to be something i enjoy less and less. we've both agreed that for the kids, they need two happy healthy parents, whether that he togther or apart.
Are you blaming her? And stop calling me mate.
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Oct 2, 2017 01:32
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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i actually feel really good today ergo : sayonara depression
but honestly like people have been calling me an alcoholic, one night stands, hard drugs, wtf??
Depression is easy to beat. Good job doing it so quickly. Jfc
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Oct 2, 2017 22:53
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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This doesn’t seem to be an open relationship safe space all?
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Oct 3, 2017 02:50
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May 14, 2024 04:10
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- Burt Sexual
- Jan 26, 2006
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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Switchblade Switcharoo
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I imagine op is in an open marriage
Was
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Nov 5, 2017 06:17
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Sep 30, 2017 21:27
