The Greatest Products Ever! As Seen On TV!

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > The Greatest Products Ever! As Seen On TV!

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RestingB1tchFace: Jul 4, 2016; Opinions are like a$$holes....everyone has one....but mines the best!!!

I've got a Ninja Coffee Maker. Recommended!

# ? Jul 4, 2016 06:36

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 21, 2024 23:35

shoophobo: Aug 30, 2013; "shoophobo? more like shittyposter!"; Fallen Rib

Welcome back to GSN, The Goon Shopping Network!

Today is July 4! that means the year is half way gone and the holidays are on the way!
You may be asking yourself "How will I make my house look as obnoxious as possible?"
Will you look like this rear end in a top hat?

"gently caress no!"
Thats right you won't, becasue you'll have the STAR SHOWER LASER LIGHT!

Its great! all you have to do is plug it in, set it and... FORGET IT!

Don't be "that guy", make sure your house is a beacon to the neighbor hood.
ORDER NOW!

# ? Jul 4, 2016 06:36

criscodisco: Feb 18, 2004; do it

I wish they made headlights like that, so the road could look as fabulous as the rest of my life.

# ? Jul 4, 2016 06:38

Tiberius Thyben: Feb 7, 2013; Gone Phishing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SapU60Txio

# ? Jul 4, 2016 06:53

shoophobo: Aug 30, 2013; "shoophobo? more like shittyposter!"; Fallen Rib

gary oldmans diary posted:

reminder that the george foreman grill was once seen on tv
i am struggling to find a fault with putting a colander over a normal pot and flipping them together
better buy this just in case

You know friend I'm happy you brought this up.
There is an exciting new development in the world of self straining pasta pots, its called the...
MAC MAGIC PASTA POT

We all know the old story; "Why should I have two separate pieces of cookware to make pasta?!" "I'm not dexterous enough to not spill pasta all over the place!"

Look at this mess! gently caress that poo poo.

Enter the MAC MAGIC PASTA POT

It's the only Self-Draining Pasta pot with a BUILT IN MIXER!
WOW!

Now, I know what you are thinking, "But I still have to take of the lid and add ingredients! :mad:

"
But the MAC MAGIC PASTA POT has your covered!

You can get this amazing invention for only $19.99 _{plus shipping, processing, and handling}

ORDER NOW!

# ? Jul 4, 2016 07:39

Bob James: Nov 15, 2005; by Lowtax; Ultra Carp

# ? Jul 4, 2016 07:43

Dreddout: Oct 1, 2015; You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

As Seen on Amazon Prime!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgFeVlw2Ywg

# ? Jul 4, 2016 07:59

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

these products are terrible

# ? Jul 4, 2016 08:04

Bob James: Nov 15, 2005; by Lowtax; Ultra Carp

Enfield posted:

these products are terrible

# ? Jul 4, 2016 08:07

Jonny 290: May 5, 2005; [ASK] me about OS/2 Warp

that egg cooker thing what the gently caress lmao

# ? Jul 4, 2016 08:09

Nice Guy Patron: Jun 29, 2015

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bM4eJ38S7Hw

Sending you one of these OP

# ? Jul 4, 2016 08:16

CaptainSarcastic: Jul 6, 2013

I'm not sure if this has been advertised, but it should be. Had a couple of these bad boys when I was a kid - they were great:

Making square hard-boiled eggs was one of the highlights of my life.

# ? Jul 4, 2016 08:18

Enfield: May 30, 2011; by Nyc_Tattoo

twofive1 posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bM4eJ38S7Hw

Sending you one of these OP

hey baby happy aniverssary i got us a anti flatuence defense mateix that was developed by loving nasa

# ? Jul 4, 2016 08:19

ColoradoCleric: Dec 26, 2012; by FactsAreUseless

I only buy official Precious Roy products

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wi1uGlucXZc

# ? Jul 4, 2016 08:19

Bob James: Nov 15, 2005; by Lowtax; Ultra Carp

# ? Jul 4, 2016 08:27

Bob James: Nov 15, 2005; by Lowtax; Ultra Carp

# ? Jul 4, 2016 08:38

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

perhaps...the terrorists are right

# ? Jul 4, 2016 08:55

shoophobo: Aug 30, 2013; "shoophobo? more like shittyposter!"; Fallen Rib

twofive1 posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bM4eJ38S7Hw

Sending you one of these OP

used by the military to defend against chemical weapons.
my farts are weapons grade you say? :smug:

# ? Jul 4, 2016 09:04

shoophobo: Aug 30, 2013; "shoophobo? more like shittyposter!"; Fallen Rib

ColoradoCleric posted:

I only buy official Precious Roy products

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wi1uGlucXZc

Doesn't seem very cress.

# ? Jul 4, 2016 09:05

Genesplicer: Oct 19, 2002; I give your invention the worst grade imaginable: An A-minus-minus!; Total Clam

shoophobo posted:

Hey goons!
Running out of room for your Pizza Rolls in your freezer?
Well, if you stop buying Hot Pockets you'll have plenty of space!
"But Shoophobo, I need my Hot Pockets!!"
I hear ya goon! and you can have both with the Toas-Tite Pie Iron!!

But how does it work??
This replica of the 1949 original, the sandwich press is made of die cast aluminum, with steel rods and hard wood handles. This old time favorite can be used on gas and electric stoves, over a BBQ, fire pit, fire place or camp fire and cooks up hot, delicious sealed sandwiches or "Hot Pockets" in minutes. Simply grease the domes, put a slice of bread in each, add filling, and start cooking. It�s that easy!
Home made Hot Pockets in minutes!
Only $19.95 plus Shipping, Processing and Handling.

I used to have one of these. Not one of these "As seen on TV" things, one of the originals. (My granddad gave it to me.) It was great for camping.

# ? Jul 4, 2016 09:53

A CISHET SHITLORD: Sep 10, 2014; LOURDE OF THE SHITS; Pillbug

CaptainSarcastic posted:

I'm not sure if this has been advertised, but it should be. Had a couple of these bad boys when I was a kid - they were great:

Making square hard-boiled eggs was one of the highlights of my life.

This looks both delicious and adorable. I'd go through a little extra trouble for an egg-cube

# ? Jul 4, 2016 09:55

Shasta Orange Soda: Apr 25, 2007

criscodisco posted:

I would actually use this. Not because I'm a fan of "sealed sandwiches", but it just looks like it'd be fun to use.

i got a cast iron one with a wooden handle for $15 and free shipping off amazon

i never actually used it, though

# ? Jul 4, 2016 10:13

Rocks: Dec 30, 2011

I watched so much Ron Popeil as a kid I'm pretty sure he could legally be my father

# ? Jul 4, 2016 11:09

Myron Baloney: Mar 19, 2002; Emitting dimensions are swallowing you

CaptainSarcastic posted:

I'm not sure if this has been advertised, but it should be. Had a couple of these bad boys when I was a kid - they were great:

Making square hard-boiled eggs was one of the highlights of my life.

Okay how the gently caress does it make the yolk into a cube too I'm baffled

# ? Jul 4, 2016 11:25

Archer666: Dec 27, 2008

From the man who missed the call to have the George Foreman grill on his name and his revolutionary meat-shoes, comes the new meatmania smackdown, BROTHER!

No longer will you be disappointed in your grill and be forced to take out your anger and frustration on a shady internet news agency!

HULKAMANIA DOESN'T CLICK LINKS, BROTHER.

Make grill cheese sandwiches the Hulk Hogan way: With your best friend's wife!

THESE SANDWICHES ARE SO GOOD THEY'LL SUCK OUT YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL, HULKAMANIACS!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7pls4Jrl_g

Get this new grilling sensation now for the low, low, low price of your dignity!

# ? Jul 4, 2016 12:57

bunnyofdoom: Mar 29, 2008; I've been here the whole time, and you're not my real Dad!

You can also store you delicious grilled meats in these hulk hogan meat shoes. Perfect for when you need a snack after banging your daughter.

# ? Jul 4, 2016 14:50

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

# ? Jul 4, 2016 14:54

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

pretend my av is a tiddy bear strumming a gtar

# ? Jul 4, 2016 14:54

bleep.bloop: Jun 19, 2016; Oh, dear leader!

Archer666 posted:

THESE SANDWICHES ARE SO GOOD THEY'LL SUCK OUT YOUR IMMORTAL SOUL,

He looks so despondent in that picture. It's like it hit him that the rest of his life will be spent hocking cheap crap to his grown-up fans, and he almost can't take it.

# ? Jul 4, 2016 17:37

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Hector Beerlioz posted:

So, we had a friend in high school who had an unhealthy fascination to gas station hot dogs, so he got this for xmas one year:

http://www.walmart.com/ip/Nostalgia-Electrics-Coca-Cola-Series-Hot-Dog-Roller/21783811

Thing is, it actually makes a fantastic dog. He ended up getting one for another friend of ours, and they'd both get set up for LAN parties and general stoner weekends. Also, not ashamed to admit that it works pretty drat well on non-cheese taquitos.

# ? Jul 4, 2016 18:06

polio king: Jun 19, 2004

bleep.bloop posted:

He looks so despondent in that picture. It's like it hit him that the rest of his life will be spent hocking cheap crap to his grown-up fans, and he almost can't take it.

that was pre-gawker money

# ? Jul 4, 2016 18:34

r u ready to WALK: Sep 29, 2001

USA is pretty serious about butter
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIeoHULj_pg

# ? Jul 4, 2016 18:42

shoophobo: Aug 30, 2013; "shoophobo? more like shittyposter!"; Fallen Rib

Hey! And welcome back to GSN: Goon Shopping Network!

Its Independence Day my fellow American goons. Let's talk about something that is distinctly American: Watching unhealthy amounts of Television!

Let me ask you something...
Are you too poor for cable?
Are you tired of the cable company loving you in the rear end?
Are old and senile or lack the ability to Google?
Maybe you enjoy using spyware or adware on your PC?
If you answered YES to any of these questions then, boy do I have a product for you!
Its called the RABBIT TV USB STICK

With this magic USB stick you will be sent via a HYPERLINK to INTERNET TV!
That's right folks, TV on your Internets!
You can watch all the latest TV shows from the hottest networks on your PC for free*!

But don't just take my word for it, listen to Tim's testimonial!

code:

 "I would buy this product again and agai"
By:&#160;tim a wright from&#160;417 w midway dr wake village tx 75501

About Me: Enthusiast

use it on the road it great

Don't let the cable company take advantage of you any more! Get RABBIT TV USB STICK for the low low price of only $9.95! plus shipping, processing and handling.

ORDER NOW!

_{first year free}

# ? Jul 4, 2016 22:33

Demon Of The Fall: May 1, 2004; Nap Ghost

Mighty Putty saved my life a few times

# ? Jul 4, 2016 22:38

shoophobo: Aug 30, 2013; "shoophobo? more like shittyposter!"; Fallen Rib

Demon Of The Fall posted:

Mighty Putty saved my life a few times

Wow! Thanks for the testimonial caller!
Later tonight I'll have a product even better then MIGHTY PUTTY. You'll have to tune in later to find out what fabulous product this is! :cool:

# ? Jul 4, 2016 22:42

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

shoophobo posted:

Hey! And welcome back to GSN: Goon Shopping Network!

Its Independence Day my fellow American goons. Let's talk about something that is distinctly American: Watching unhealthy amounts of Television!

Let me ask you something...
Are you too poor for cable?
Are you tired of the cable company loving you in the rear end?
Are old and senile or lack the ability to Google?
Maybe you enjoy using spyware or adware on your PC?
If you answered YES to any of these questions then, boy do I have a product for you!
Its called the RABBIT TV USB STICK

With this magic USB stick you will be sent via a HYPERLINK to INTERNET TV!
That's right folks, TV on your Internets!
You can watch all the latest TV shows from the hottest networks on your PC for free*!

But don't just take my word for it, listen to Tim's testimonial!
code:
 "I would buy this product again and agai"
By:&#160;tim a wright from&#160;417 w midway dr wake village tx 75501

About Me: Enthusiast

use it on the road it great
Don't let the cable company take advantage of you any more! Get RABBIT TV USB STICK for the low low price of only $9.95! plus shipping, processing and handling.

ORDER NOW!

_{first year free}

wow how can this be legal??

# ? Jul 4, 2016 22:46

shoophobo: Aug 30, 2013; "shoophobo? more like shittyposter!"; Fallen Rib

social vegan posted:

wow how can this be legal??

Let's just say we have a special Hollywood connection :wink:

# ? Jul 4, 2016 22:52

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

is it the hollywood cops? because this should be illegal!!

# ? Jul 4, 2016 22:52

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

i'm posting itt because i'm excited about the savins i'm goin to get when i buy the rabbit

# ? Jul 4, 2016 22:53

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 21, 2024 23:35

a retard: Jan 7, 2013; by Lowtax

if that's what i'm thinking of it's one of those 5000 free channel programs where 95% of them just show old public domain films and the rest are poo poo like russia today

# ? Jul 4, 2016 23:12

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > The Greatest Products Ever! As Seen On TV!

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