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Or maybe small animals. Idunno.
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Aug 1, 2016 23:18
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CaptainSarcastic posted:Where does one find Eastern Catholic priests? Are they in Narnia? Mostly in the Middle East, but short they will all be in New York and Toronto.
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Aug 1, 2016 23:22
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Ceciltron posted:Unbelievers Also Orks.
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Aug 1, 2016 23:23
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Ceciltron posted:Warhammer 40k has floating skulls that sing hymns and shoot lasers. We need those for the modern church. I'd be really surprised if some church somewhere hasn't already done this on a holiday or something.
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Aug 1, 2016 23:26
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Agag posted:Also Orks.
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Aug 1, 2016 23:34
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Ceciltron posted:The politically correct term is "Saracen" 
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Aug 1, 2016 23:53
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Zahgaegun posted:So if I enjoy being Catholic... Stop right there. You're clearly doing it wrong.
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Aug 2, 2016 00:21
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Goons should consider catholicism. There's self hate, weird vampire booze rituals and you get to congregate in a diablo level.
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Aug 2, 2016 00:54
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InterFaced posted:Goons should consider catholicism. There's self hate, weird vampire booze rituals and you get to congregate in a diablo level. I think 4chan already went through a Catholic fascist phase. Goons should blaze a new trail and get really into Sikhism. There are probably already a lot of us with neckbeards and knife collections.
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Aug 2, 2016 01:21
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Free your mind do baha'i faith
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Aug 2, 2016 01:28
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I mean, Catholicism literally refers to itself as The One True Church. If you are shopping for religions is kind of think that the buck stops there.
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Aug 2, 2016 03:53
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Ceciltron posted:Warhammer 40k has floating skulls that sing hymns and shoot lasers. We need those for the modern church.  
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Aug 2, 2016 05:55
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Man my Parish Festival has been pretty great, good food, get 7 blackjacks in blackjack, booze, music, meeting people I haven't seen for years, like the guy who spent most of the time in high school telling me that I was a loser and that I should kill myself (glad to see the years make him less hateful and friendly  )Good times
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Aug 6, 2016 04:02
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How many children got hosed?
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Aug 6, 2016 04:34
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Nathilus posted:How many children got hosed? I feel like the church should have been more contrite about that.
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Aug 6, 2016 04:35
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Nathilus posted:How many children got hosed? I like how cheap our church is that we don't rent out carnival rides anymore, but a bunch of bouncy castles/obstacle courses.
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Aug 6, 2016 04:48
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achillesforever6 posted:I don't think any, our strategy is basically make sure our one priest is manning the potato slicer to make the fresh cut fries at all times. Not very catholic then. Almost more Episcopalian, really.
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Aug 6, 2016 04:56
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It may shock you to find out most parishes don't have molester problems.
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Aug 6, 2016 06:01
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Ceciltron posted:It may shock you to find out most parishes don't have molester problems. Nonsense it's all just covered up.
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Aug 6, 2016 06:14
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Ceciltron posted:It may shock you to find out most parishes don't have molester problems. Yes the Roman Catholic church spends a lot of money to make all the child molesters' lives in the parishes problem-free. Have you ever stopped to think why they want people to give birth to 40000 children each?
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Sep 2, 2016 23:01
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imo we should create CHRISLAM
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Sep 2, 2016 23:29
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Moridin920 posted:imo we should create CHRISLAM Islam is basically Chrislam.
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Sep 2, 2016 23:38
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hemophilia posted:hey everyone just post all your wack "the pope is unfallable" jokes right now and get it out of your system bc it's lame as gently caress. just get it outta your system. go ahead. Okay seeing as how this is GBS, if the pope lets out a really rank fart, houseflies dropping out of the air and I say, "goddamn, that's fuckin foul" and the pope says, "huh, I don't smell anything" does this mean his farts literally do not stink?
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Sep 2, 2016 23:46
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he's only infallible when he is speaking as the voice of god or some poo poo idk exactly but it's a neat little loophole lol
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Sep 2, 2016 23:48
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Moridin920 posted:he's only infallible when he is speaking as the voice of god or some poo poo idk exactly but it's a neat little loophole lol So, never 
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Sep 2, 2016 23:51
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Okay to oldGBSpost here for a minute, if the Pope can speak ex cathedra and it counts as infallible, I think the Pope should solve the "LOL molesto" issue for eternity. All he has to do is speak ex cathedra and say, you know, there's this stereotype that's been haunting us for the last thousand years or so about chillymos, well, as of this minute I hereby declare as the human voice of the Divine Almighty that child molestation or even covering up for it is a 100% unforgiveable crime against the Church and anybody that ever does it, past present or future, is forever banned from Heaven with no exceptions. Even if a guy did it and then was forgiven and went to Heaven 250 years ago a gang of burly angels with biker tattoos just tossed him off the cloud thirty five minutes ago. Sexually assault a child, excommunicated that second, now, in the future, and retroactively in the past. Goons who actually know things about the Catholic Church, why wouldn't this work, or why don't they do this? Particularly this new guy they got seems to be a real world-shaker, by eldritch Jesus magic rules he can declare there are no more molesters in the church and the faithful have to believe it or at least pretend they believe it.
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Sep 3, 2016 00:54
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GRANNYS PEACH TEA posted:Goons who actually know things about the Catholic Church, why wouldn't this work, or why don't they do this? Particularly this new guy they got seems to be a real world-shaker, by eldritch Jesus magic rules he can declare there are no more molesters in the church and the faithful have to believe it or at least pretend they believe it. drat guys. Why you rezzin my dead gay thread? Couldnt even slap a fukkin 4 on it and yet here it is back from the dead regardless?!?!?! Wtf. To answer this though, institutional inertia. Think about asking the same question of whatever problem you can think of, wherever you live. "Uh why don't we just abolish the electoral college and go to a direct vote?" for example. Well there are people on various sides of that issue for various reasons, and a historical precident to fight against. That's institutional inertia. It takes effort and resources to fight against. In the vatican's case, those guys aren't stupid. They've been being enriched by the rest of the catholic world for hundreds of years and it's not like they don't know which side of the toast is buttered. It's in their own best interest that their authority and autonomy continue to be considered a special case.
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Sep 3, 2016 01:08
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Jerry Cotton posted:Have you ever stopped to think why they want people to give birth to 40000 children each? Same as any religion. Molestation, sure. But mostly just for slave labor and tithes.
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Sep 3, 2016 01:23
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The papacy is the Antichrist
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Sep 3, 2016 01:41
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GRANNYS PEACH TEA posted:Okay to oldGBSpost here for a minute, if the Pope can speak ex cathedra and it counts as infallible, I think the Pope should solve the "LOL molesto" issue for eternity. All he has to do is speak ex cathedra and say, you know, there's this stereotype that's been haunting us for the last thousand years or so about chillymos, well, as of this minute I hereby declare as the human voice of the Divine Almighty that child molestation or even covering up for it is a 100% unforgiveable crime against the Church and anybody that ever does it, past present or future, is forever banned from Heaven with no exceptions. Even if a guy did it and then was forgiven and went to Heaven 250 years ago a gang of burly angels with biker tattoos just tossed him off the cloud thirty five minutes ago. Sexually assault a child, excommunicated that second, now, in the future, and retroactively in the past. Well sure this would work a treat were the Roman Catholic church a religious organization instead of a child-molesting organization.
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Sep 3, 2016 01:57
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phasmid posted:Same as any religion. Molestation, sure. But mostly just for slave labor and tithes.
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Sep 3, 2016 01:59
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Another year, another horrific excuse for a human being canonized as a saint.
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Sep 4, 2016 15:51
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Horseshoe theory posted:Another year, another horrific excuse for a human being canonized as a saint. This is why they are so loving laughable right now. To get canonized, you need to perform two miracles. quote:In 2002, the Vatican recognised the “miracle cure” of an Indian woman who had prayed to Mother Teresa about her cancer, though the woman’s husband and doctors said the cancer had been treated with drugs. It's the same poo poo they tried to pull making the last dead pope a saint. The miracle was a nun who had Parkinsons who was cured when they saw the saint in front of her. But no one was allowed to test her to prove it,. Now I'm ex-Catholic, and this poo poo just makes places like Ireland and other waning papal influence recede faster. So keep up the good work Francis!
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Sep 4, 2016 16:02
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It's almost like miracles aren't real
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Sep 4, 2016 16:10
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Horseshoe theory posted:Another year, another horrific excuse for a human being canonized as a saint.
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Sep 4, 2016 18:15
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I am Toni Lippi posted:They claim all these allegations of rampant boy rape in the catholic church but have you met anybody who has actually been raped by a priest? Checkmate atheists. My best mate at school had a priest travel 30km every weekend to collect him for the weekend and then bring him back to boarding school again on the monday morning. We teased him then, but he only fessed up a few years after leaving school.
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Sep 4, 2016 18:28
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EugeneJ posted:It's almost like miracles aren't real Magnets don't actually work; they use glue and slight of hand to make it seem like they do!
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Sep 4, 2016 18:37
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Tony Homo posted:Why hasn't a Muslim gone suicide attack on the Vatican? It's not a 'soft' target. That and the fact that 70 virgins have gotta come from somewhere, but the Vatican sure as poo poo doesn't have any.
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Sep 4, 2016 18:38
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJ6yXkQFzgI&t=24s
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Sep 4, 2016 18:55
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Nathilus posted:
Do the first century
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Sep 4, 2016 19:07
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