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i got in school suspension for three days for getting in a fight but it turns out iss is just being put in a corner hallway unsupervised near where they keep the stock for the vending machines so me and the guy i fought became buds over three days and ate like middle school kings
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Jul 25, 2016 00:59
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| # ? May 8, 2024 22:48 |
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5-31-11 How the hell did my decade of alcoholism not remove those digits from my brain? Anyhow, we were in gym class, doing random poo poo, shooting baskets, jogging, gently caress knows what else, don't remember. So there's a kid about my level, loser, hardly any friends, kind of annoying, and he was lining up to shoot in the middle of the gym, out in the open alone since only him and maybe two or three other people were doing free throws. Everybody is in gym outfits, elastic waist shorts etc. There are moments when opportunity presents itself, and you take the shot. I walk out towards him like nothing, pick up speed, and as he's about to shoot, full-pantsed him in the middle of the gym. It was a theater in the round for everybody. He gets his pants up, starts chasing me; I'm running and cackling like mad. I think we circled the gym once or twice, everybody laughing too hard to do anything, then I took a wrong dodge somewhere (maybe dodging a teacher) and got cornered in the gym teacher's office by the dude. The teacher got between us though he was still trying to swing at me but he was scrawnier than me and it didn't really hurt because I was still laughing too hard. Got a week(?) of in-school suspension. Yeah.
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Jul 25, 2016 01:12
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Vargs posted:elementary school: i was on the back of the bus and we were going down a hill just before reaching the school. I vomited all over the floor and it slid down, hitting the feet of everybody in the row. bus parked and my friend and i bolted before anyone could figure out what happened high school: for some inexplicable reason we had a big riot that broke out over the whole campus during lunch (outdoor school, so everyone was scattered all over the place). dudes getting into fights left and right, everyone throwing poo poo. someone set fire to a tree and I got clocked in the head with an apple. the school stopped selling/banned glass bottles after that incident. it was rad Do I know you??????? Some kid also beat up a teacher for some reason, and some girl got a can to her spine that left her temporarily paralyzed.
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Jul 25, 2016 02:05
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Gaunab posted:Was she hot? Eh. Not particularly but definitely attractive enough to make a horny eighth grader lose his goddamn mind when he saw up her skirt.
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Jul 25, 2016 02:13
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In grade 8 I had a super hot 24 year old science teacher. She would sit on a wooden stool in front of the class wearing high heels and a short skirt. This was in a catholic school system and she was the only teacher within that school system that was under the age of 45. The rumor was she was a model for a beer ad. Don't know if it was true or not, she definitely could have made it work though. Anyway on the first day of science class she said orgasm instead of organism. Nobody learned a single thing that science class. She was actually a pretty poo poo teacher.
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Jul 25, 2016 02:19
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Someone climbed on top of the lockers and spat into the crowd below. It landed on my shoulder. Somehow they had managed to produce a freakish amount of spit, I'm talking an entire mouthful with puffed out cheeks. I changed my shirt but I still felt unclean all day.
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Jul 25, 2016 02:19
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Our cafeteria had these super easy to open with one hand salt packets, so the running gag would be sneaking up behind someone with an open soda and pouring a salt in while whispering in their ear that they need more sodium in their diet.
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Jul 25, 2016 02:54
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One of my pals slept over at my house for the first time and was obsessed with watching scrambled porn all night. I got up to get us sodas from the fridge and when I came back he was full throttle dry humping my carpet. I kicked a shoe at his head and told him to knock it off. A few weeks later the carpet where he was going at it got torn and had a bare spot. I always wondered if it was a coincidence or if he somehow managed to gently caress a hole in the floor in the 90 seconds I was out of the room.
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Jul 25, 2016 03:17
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a kid in my 8th grade history class propped his feet up on his desk. the teacher responded by throwing the desk across the room.
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Jul 25, 2016 03:36
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Once we did that thing from the Simpson's where Bart tells everyone to turn their desks backwards to surprise the teacher, except everyone actually did it. The teacher pretended not to notice and taught the class as if everyone was facing him, so people gave up and turned around. In the same class a mouse suddenly ran into the room and climbed the wall at the front of the class, reaching the roof before falling all the way to the floor and dying. This time the teacher stopped mid-lecture to watch the mouse climb in complete silence, before saying "that is the weirdest poo poo I ever saw" when it fell to its death and resuming the lecture without removing it's corpse.
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Jul 25, 2016 03:46
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Moon Atari posted:Once we did that thing from the Simpson's where Bart tells everyone to turn their desks backwards to surprise the teacher, except everyone actually did it. The teacher pretended not to notice and taught the class as if everyone was facing him, so people gave up and turned around. In the same class a mouse suddenly ran into the room and climbed the wall at the front of the class, reaching the roof before falling all the way to the floor and dying. This time the teacher stopped mid-lecture to watch the mouse climb in complete silence, before saying "that is the weirdest poo poo I ever saw" when it fell to its death and resuming the lecture without removing it's corpse. bart was the only one who did it. That was the joke
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Jul 25, 2016 03:51
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In 8th grade, I was sucking on this gal's tits and for some reason, I thought it was a good idea to recreate the scene from that 'got milk' commercial where the dude is saying "AARON BURR" into the phone but his mouth is full of food so all that comes out is a muffled "aawanbaaa" Still hilarious.
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Jul 25, 2016 04:02
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The principal in our public school used to sub for teachers that were away occasionally, and I was in a really rotten class of kids all through that system. Anyway one day we infuriated him to the point he was yelling at us, except he was saying "STOP JACKING AROUND" and being immature idiots, everyone kept laughing, which made him even angrier to the point where he was full blown bellowing at a group of kids that couldn't stop laughing at him. Also the french teacher asked "who wants to make a placemat for me?" at some stupid school event, and nobody put their hand up, then after a perfect beat some girl laughed really loudly and the teacher ran from the room crying.
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Jul 25, 2016 04:13
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I had never learned social skills, and had just moved to a new town, and was a year ahead in school. So being 11 in 7th grade in a shithole town was fun.
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Jul 25, 2016 05:27
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we dissected bullfrogs in 6th grade, and one of my classmates basically hollowed his frog completely out - just enough left behind to keep its shape. during a break, he snuck it into our school's only mens' room and put this big husk of a frog corpse on the top of the towel dispenser our janitor, who was an old bastard, refused to clean it up, so the frog sat there for three days, rotting, until someone knocked it into a garbage can also, some other time, a kid named kenny brought in a cassette of donald duck getting a blowjob and played it in our science class.
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Jul 25, 2016 05:48
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I was super into DBZ as a kid and on the first day of year 7 in an attempt to 'reinvent' myself I went around telling everybody that my nickname was Gohan. Nobody bought it, but one of the older kids caught wind of it and started calling me 'Gonads', which ended up sticking and ended up being the only name people referred to me by for about 3 years.
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Jul 25, 2016 08:36
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Surfer Rosa Parks posted:I was super into DBZ as a kid and on the first day of year 7 in an attempt to 'reinvent' myself I went around telling everybody that my nickname was Gohan. Nobody bought it, but one of the older kids caught wind of it and started calling me 'Gonads', which ended up sticking and ended up being the only name people referred to me by for about 3 years. 
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Jul 25, 2016 09:02
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Girl grabbed my ear which had a huge pimple. It busted and got all over her hand. Band teacher never let me play cool instruments. Was pretty fat One teacher had a cool dog that was allowed in her class All around good time to go through a lot of change.
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Jul 25, 2016 09:07
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We had a Latin teacher.
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Jul 25, 2016 13:29
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One kid got taken out of class by the school's DARE officer one day. Rumors were he got busted for pot in his locker. A few weeks later we found out it was because his dad was molesting him and he told the DARE officer, who to his credit had state investigators there within a few hours with a warrant.
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Jul 25, 2016 14:11
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This kid was messing with me so I threw a whole plate of spaghetti and meatballs in his face and he cried and never messed with me again.
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Jul 25, 2016 14:14
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A girl super loved me for a while and we were together for one day until I decided that a relationship was too much for my 5th grade rear end to handle, for some reason (probably because of christian upbringing and shame). She was a jewess who was nerdy, now she is quite accomplished and nerdy AND has big loving tits. I could have been like the first guy ever to have sex but I had to gently caress it up. I didnt score until I was 20. Thats my goony story.
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Jul 25, 2016 14:17
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Professor of Cats posted:In 8th grade, I was sucking on this gal's tits and for some reason, I thought it was a good idea to recreate the scene from that 'got milk' commercial where the dude is saying "AARON BURR" into the phone but his mouth is full of food so all that comes out is a muffled "aawanbaaa" Did your mom find it hilarious too?
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Jul 25, 2016 14:27
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Curdy Lemonstan posted:A girl super loved me for a while and we were together for one day until I decided that a relationship was too much for my 5th grade rear end to handle, for some reason (probably because of christian upbringing and shame). She was a jewess who was nerdy, now she is quite accomplished and nerdy AND has big loving tits. I could have been like the first guy ever to have sex but I had to gently caress it up. I didnt score until I was 20. Thats my goony story. Marissa 
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Jul 25, 2016 14:34
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My junior high school was once rated the 13th most dangerous school in America. This list included high schools so you can imagine how bad it had to be for a middle school to be on it. Anyway one day in my math class this kid, the class clown, was talking to a friend and the math teacher told him to stop talking or he'd kick him out of class. In the most obviously sarcastic manner, the kid goes "yo what's up now Mr. F??" and whips out one of those combs that looks like a switchblade. He even pressed the button as he said it so the comb popped out. It was almost exactly like the way Pimpbot 5000 on Conan O'Brian used to do it. Everyone was dying laughing because of how stupidly funny it was, but the teacher immediately started with "now Lavon, you don't have to go this route, you have your whole life ahead of you and you can still turn this situation around" like it was a hostage negotiation. He was giving this speech while walking backwards with his hands up. Eventually the kid started getting scared, thinking "holy poo poo how does he not see this is a comb and I don't even normally talk like that" and starts to explain it's a joke and proceeds to comb his hair with it while explaining and asking him if he really thought he was going to kill a teacher for telling him to stop talking. The teacher finally starts laughing and then sits down for the rest of class, visibly shaking the entire 40 minutes.
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Jul 25, 2016 15:37
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Uncle at Nintendo posted:My junior high school was once rated the 13th most dangerous school in America. This list included high schools so you can imagine how bad it had to be for a middle school to be on it. If only the teacher had had a gun.
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Jul 25, 2016 15:46
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My brother's high school had the highest rate of teen pregnancy in the region for awhile, then the Army base next to town started making GI's stay on base on the weekends and ID'ing anyone coming to visit (and refusing to let them in the barracks if they were under 18). After that it never even charted again
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Jul 25, 2016 16:12
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When I was in middle school I kept telling "hilarious" dirty jokes and I was thoroughly hated, fat, ugly, and friendless essentially. That's my epic story.
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Jul 26, 2016 00:58
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Jerry Cotton posted:If only the teacher had had a gun that squirted hair gel
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Jul 26, 2016 03:57
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i think my hot big hootered home ec teacher wanted to legit molest me in retrospect but i just wanted to play xmen arcade and read comic books
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Jul 26, 2016 05:29
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ScorpioMajesty posted:There was a kid in middle school whose parents were rumored to have been 70 when they had him. What made it worse was he had to wear adult diapers for some reason and everyone used to suspect that he was gay. One day someone caut him watching gay porn in computer class so at lunch that day everyone was picking on him. One of the kids who liked to bullie people cornered him in the cafeteria and started threatening him with a few others but I have mad respect for that weird little gay kid because he just grabbed the bullie and gave him a sloppy French kiss and ran off bugs bunny style. After that day he came out and wouldn't stop peaking through the cracks in the bathroom stalls. That's a great way to disarm your bully.
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Jul 26, 2016 05:50
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Khazar-khum posted:On the last day of school, everyone cleaned out their lockers. Congrats on lugging around 20 dollars of notebooks for 10 years
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Jul 26, 2016 06:04
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Jerry Cotton posted:We had a Latin teacher. Do I know you?
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Jul 26, 2016 06:52
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Otisburg posted:i think my hot big hootered home ec teacher wanted to legit molest me in retrospect but i just wanted to play xmen arcade and read comic books How the tables have turned!
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Jul 26, 2016 09:28
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Taste the Rainbugh posted:Do I know you? Did your Latin teacher off themself with a six-gun?
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Jul 26, 2016 09:29
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Hrist posted:Who did pick Bulbasaur? Literally everyone picked Squirtle. Everyone! Unless you were the one kid on the bus that picked Charmander. Wimps and casual players picked squirtle because it made the first gym battle a cakewalk. Charmander was the hard option because he was weak to the first two gym types, but if you were a power gamer who did your research and played with an endgame strategy you picked charmander because charizard was one of the most powerful Pokemon in the game and in particular there was a relative lack of good fire type options in the original games, whereas water types were plentiful.
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Jul 26, 2016 13:44
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Jerry Cotton posted:Did your Latin teacher off themself with a six-gun? Solitaire Russian Roulette never works out.
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Jul 26, 2016 14:41
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The Lord Bude posted:Wimps and casual players picked squirtle because it made the first gym battle a cakewalk. Charmander was the hard option because he was weak to the first two gym types, but if you were a power gamer who did your research and played with an endgame strategy you picked charmander because charizard was one of the most powerful Pokemon in the game and in particular there was a relative lack of good fire type options in the original games, whereas water types were plentiful. Actually, a level 10 Charmander works just fine in the first gym. They don't even have rock moves to use on him anyway, and the move he gets after the tutorial fight works better on them than any wild pokemon, and ignored the defense curl spam. People picked Squritle because Blastoise is bitchin'  There's my epic middle school knowledge paying off in the internet comedy forums of today.
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Jul 26, 2016 17:51
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after ruby/sapphire came out, nobody believed me when I told them there were at least 3 kinds of deoxys well look who's laughing now, CONNOR
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Jul 26, 2016 18:09
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| # ? May 8, 2024 22:48 |
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i picked Squirtle because i liked turtles as a kid 
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Jul 26, 2016 18:11
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