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I blame the media and advertising for making everyone so socially anxious it's difficult to function. I only really manage in public because I don't care what strangers think, at all, but it's because too much terrible bullshit has happened in my life. But friends, and people I care about deeply, I do get very anxious, it's hard when all the messaging is that you'll gently caress it up so you shouldn't try.
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# ¿ Jul 30, 2016 05:23 |
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# ¿ May 9, 2024 23:17 |
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I wonder why some guys feel that they lack courage? There doesn't seem to be a pattern between the guys I know who seem to be insecure, or what makes them insecure.
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# ¿ Aug 2, 2016 04:18 |
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CarForumPoster posted:What are you saying my dick is small? gently caress you my dick is HUUUUUUUGE Is it really dick size? Why do guys think that matters so much? Earlier in the thread I said some guys have anti-wingman friends; this is very true. As an example, I did once have a male friend of a guy I know tell me, when the guy wasn't there, that the guy had a tiny penis, like a micropenis. I thought that was 1) absurdly tacky and a galling violation of his friendship and 2) absurdly presumptuous regarding my values and my priorities.
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# ¿ Aug 2, 2016 04:25 |
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darkhand posted:I'm not sure it's really lack of confidence because a lot of these guys have no problem waking around with really cringey stuff in public. Seems more fear of rejection. They don't ask a girl out they just do "nice" things. They don't try to initiate anything flirty because they see it as douchey. And they hate "douchebags" that ask girls out. Everybody hates rejection, it's loving terrible, it's the worst feeling in the world, but there's nothing you can do but face up to the fact that you're going to be rejected from a lot of things in life, and often. Eventually you get rejected from life, that's a whole thing.
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# ¿ Aug 2, 2016 05:11 |
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A Man and his dog posted:Maybe they shouldn't have rejected the "nice guy"........ He still loses. Try volunteering with hospice. The men who are alone, and are dying alone, express a regret that you can't even imagine.
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# ¿ Aug 2, 2016 05:51 |
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Sintax posted:I think some really early-in-life rejections or cruelties build a pattern of distrust in a brain, then certain people already disposed to recieve negative social feedback just continue to get it through their teens. A lot of people don't know what to change about themselves because the same social structure that failed them early in life leads them to having perhaps only a small group of friends to give useful feedback. Overwhelming frustration is the end-point in plenty of these cases, and it's not entirely unjustified given that society's tendency to talk-around things is deceptive to someone with autistic thought patterns. Yeah, this is why I try to be very friendly and patient with everyone who isn't manipulative. Generally speaking I end up liking people as long as they're honest and not malicious. A lot of people are really gun-shy because of experiences in their teens and early 20s. I wasn't popular as a teen, but I cleaned up my act and do fine now. But I acknowledge how stressful it can be, there are certain circumstances that can make me so anxious I'll faint. (Basically any situation where I feel I'm up against a preceding bad reputation, but need to change their minds .) I was only able to learn how to be friendly because other people were patient with me. PallasAthene posted:It was the other way around, at least in my experience. A lot of them had sort of become bitter assholes, but the most heartbreaking ones were the friendly, likeable old guys who had never had time for a family for whatever reasons and they outlived their siblings and ended up completely alone.
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# ¿ Aug 2, 2016 16:18 |
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Confidence doesn't go the whole way, I think the most important thing is to develop yourself as a person and be passionate about things
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# ¿ Aug 2, 2016 20:56 |
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Someone said there wasn't a firm definition of "creepy", but there is. Creepy is still pretty well tied to "creeping" in the traditional sense. That is, to creep, to try to do things furtively (and therefore with limited risk). Mr. Butt Sandwich was being a creep because he was trying to force his butt onto women while pretending that wasn't his plan. He was being manipulative, taking advantage of plausible deniability even though he knew what he was doing. If he'd been like "I'm going to shove my butt against you!" he'd be an obnoxious rear end in a top hat, but not a creep. Standing outside a woman's dorm window and yelling "I love you, Sandy!!" might be obnoxious or even frightening, but it's not creepy. Sitting out in the bushes waiting for a peek of Sandy through the window is creepy. Creepy is about being furtive when other people are acting in good faith, and that's why it's frowned upon. A creep is not a worse person than an obnoxious rear end in a top hat per se, but it's its own thing. That said, doing something "creepy" doesn't make you a creep, just like doing one rude thing doesn't make you a bastard. Everyone does some creepy things, because the world is scary. Some "creepy" behavior is just trying to scope things out, with the intention of avoiding awkwardness for yourself and for the other person. But it has to be balanced against interactions which are conducted in good faith. I don't think most people who are creepy mean to be, they're just very shy.
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# ¿ Aug 3, 2016 01:54 |
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i like that posted:Attractive guys can be creepy of course. It's objectively less common because they almost always have superior social skills and they are given more chances as attractive women are, but it happens. That's why I try to dress nicely and wear makeup, sometimes I still utterly bite it, but half the time it's "quirky" if you have the look down. I once complimented someone's baby, but it turns out it was a watermelon. I still don't know how I made this mistake (it was in the baby part of their cart) but they apologized for it not being a baby so I guess I made it out of there okay
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# ¿ Aug 3, 2016 02:00 |
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PallasAthene posted:I once congratulated someone for her (unborn) baby, but it turned out to be an unfortunate deposit of abdominal fat on an otherwise thin lady. The watermelon wasn't even in anything, or disguised in any way, I just got confused. And if I'm going to look at a baby I'm not going to do it silently, I'm going to be friendly and say a nice thing about the baby, so I didn't have time to catch myself before revealing my misidentification.
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# ¿ Aug 3, 2016 02:58 |
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subhuman filth posted:so would it not be creepy if i came up in broad daylight and showed you my rape knife That would be more like scary, but not necessarily creepy?
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# ¿ Aug 3, 2016 17:49 |
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Zorodius posted:what if a guy forthrightly declares "I am a creep"? Unwind that paradox, Bertrand Russell. He's not a creep because he says he's a creep any more than a baby is a watermelon because I say it is.
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# ¿ Aug 3, 2016 18:01 |
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It always sucks when one person remains loyal even when it's clearly a lost cause and there's no respect in the relationship (whether it's m/f, f/m, m/m, f/f, whatever.)
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# ¿ Aug 4, 2016 06:27 |
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hmm, maybe your comedians suck, but mine had some really profound things to say about men and women, and how they are not the same thing. did you know women love shoes? just love em
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# ¿ Aug 4, 2016 18:11 |
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Ratjaculation posted:What's up thread, borrowed from pyf- We see this a lot. Probably one of the reasons it's difficult to establish trust.
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 01:34 |
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If you think that women are like the creatures described in that list, you definitely won't get a good one, considering your starting position is "women are liars and cannot be trusted." Also the "I wish I had a guy like you" line is 99% used by girls to essentially ask a guy out, and how men have learned to interpret this as a negative is beyond me.
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 02:50 |
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Dinosaurmageddon posted:"I have a sexually transmitted disease." "I treasure you as a person and respect you for who you are." Translation: im riding the cock carousel with the guy i called a jerk, also id on't really have crabs, it's part of my master plan
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 03:05 |
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client posted:this term has never really made a whole lot of sense to me. like what i think these hosed up weirdos are trying to say is that all girls are out there loving endless amounts of dudes, but that's not how a carousel works. on a carousel you pick one seat for the whole ride i don't get the impression that these guys get out much, including to carousels This entire list boils down to "There's no WAY she could think well of you! You're a bad person! It's a trick! Shes tricking you! She's a bitch and a liar and is definitely loving that guy she said was unkind to her earlier. that's her type" and then angrily masturbating to the thought of keeping her on a dog collar in the basement
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 03:28 |
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I guess what's interesting is that the entire list is suggesting that when a woman tries to communicate with you, you should expect the worst and make wild inferences and immediately sever As such, the only kind of woman these guys will get are women who don't communicate, who are probably then either emotionally stunted or immature, or simply not that invested in relationships. And yeah, a woman like that who never communicates might just end up being a poor partner who validates things you think you "don't like about women"
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 03:33 |
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i like that posted:Pick I'm down for a partnership female commune sort of thing if u are, 5-10 yrs down the line, hmu kewl, quite a few of my friends have done that actually haha. call me in 2021
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 05:06 |
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Cumslut1895 posted:tbh, some women really do take advantage of men they know are attracted to them, because some women are bad people. If you were bringing him stuff, you're not that kind of person. Yeah, there are women who do, but it also sort of falls under a self-focus/selfishness umbrella which should be discouraged overall.
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 05:08 |
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Don Tacorleone posted:http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/08/tinder-hook-up-culture-end-of-dating I do not want to see dicks, and yes I am sent dicks. I really don't like it and it makes me uncomfortable. Among other things, I think it sends a bad impression of their understanding of intimacy.
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 05:14 |
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Like I don't jerk around with anyone who sends a dick pic, I just delete it and say I didn't want it and not to send that to me.
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 05:25 |
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PallasAthene posted:I get the feeling that a decent amount of those guys get off on the act of sending the pictures more than anything that may happen as a result. Kind of like a toned-down version of the trenchcoat flasher, but with the ability to text "My bad, that was for someone else" if it isn't well received. Yeah, I think that's it. Or they think it's a "power move" and instead we're like ?????????????????????????
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 05:44 |
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Power moves: 1. remember my middle name 2. text me a picture of a spider you found and released outside (bravery) 3. text me a picture of a spider that you saw at the zoo 4. invite me to do fun things that are slightly out of both of our comfort zones (hot air balloon?) 5. inform me of something nice you encountered that reminded you of me 6. say "I am happy to see you" when you see me 7. say you like it when i laugh or appear happy 8. have earnest conversations with me 9. feed me beets
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 05:49 |
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PallasAthene posted:Power move:
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 06:11 |
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nigga crab pollock posted:so you'll have sex witrh me if i give you these beets, is what you're saying? these are general rules, i'm good on beets
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 06:11 |
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Turdfuzz posted:lol why not just ask me to cure cancer while you're at it! just the other day i was being hit on by a cancer researcher and i won't lie that's a good opener
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 06:16 |
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Carmant posted:Girls dont really consider dicks big until they are 8+ inches and 6 inches thick, so if yours is smaller than that there's really no point in showing it off as it's nothing special. did i wander onto the baleen whale forum again
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 06:21 |
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I had a friend who broke up with a guy because his dick was huuuuge and he always just crammed it in and looked self-satisfied and assumed because he had a big dick he did a good job.
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 06:31 |
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I once got one where he took the photo next to, like, a stick. Like, it would have been a ruler if it had gradation on it, but it didn't. It was just like a small flat piece of wood, maybe some moulding or something?
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 06:40 |
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Geez, from a coworker, though? I'd hate that. That's poo poo where you got to get HR involved.
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 06:43 |
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Cnut the Great posted:What would you do if, just before a date, unprompted, a guy sent you a picture of the hugest, reddest, most tasty-looking beet you ever saw That would be pretty hilarious, so I would probably be particularly charmed.
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 17:06 |
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Gammatron 64 posted:I think the answer to all this poo poo is simply that both men and women are generally very shallow and are attracted to good looking people and how good\bad of a person you are doesn't really factor in all that much Women like guys who make them feel good and like they're important and wanted.
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 17:10 |
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Chomp8645 posted:This is possibly the most generic analysis I've ever seen. I'm just saying that my friends tend to go for those guys. The rich guy who is never around? The handsome guy who expects her to subsidize his lifestyle? They get an early advantage because 20-somethings don't know what to expect or think long-term, but they do get dumped (or divorced). Their relationships aren't anything to envy while they are around anyway. Also I do like food that tastes good and is filling and affordable so
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 17:22 |
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Tricky D posted:LOSER: Hey, would like to talk about Radiohead? The last guy I gave a shot linked me to like ten Radiohead songs and got annoyed when I said I hadn't listened to them all. He had linked them like two hours earlier, guess he was mad I didn't drop EVERYTHINGGG and immediately listen to radiohead and then prepare a report He actually came across pretty well at the outset and I was feeling down, so I had a good impression. Then it turns out he blamed women for everything and constantly complained about how "romance" wasn't real. I guess it wasn't!
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 18:45 |
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Tricky D posted:Radiohead is pretty much 'you whore bitches don't deserve a nice guy like me .FLAC' I wouldn't know because I'm basically Warren Zevon and Cat Stevens and sometimes crap like The National
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 18:59 |
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radiatinglines posted:I think the ultimate nice guy music would be slow instrumental rock with orchestral backing a la explosions in the sky the ultimate Nice Guy music is Rhapsody or any other type of metal that you can understand and strongly features elves
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 19:41 |
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Chomp8645 posted:Uh guys I think it would have to be anime OSTs let's be real here. You can make some claims that some of those tracks are simply good music. I mean, maybe not super well, but you can try--even feign innocence as to its origin. But when you put on Dragonforce, you know what you are doing
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 19:43 |
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# ¿ May 9, 2024 23:17 |
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Chomp8645 posted:I'm gonna play the Attack on Titan soundtrack in my house in front of guests and feign ignorance as to it's origin. I'm just saying, if you keep your loving mouth shut, you could conceivably play this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oV6cVVXCqQ But good loving luck playing this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fk6Z6eQWF4U
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# ¿ Aug 5, 2016 19:50 |