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I don't go to the hospital. You think I'm a millionaire or something?
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Jul 26, 2016 21:28
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I climbed over a fence once and scratched my leg. 
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Jul 26, 2016 21:31
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Chubbs posted:Does the eye still work?? only if i really force it and it strains easily
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Jul 26, 2016 21:41
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Celluloid Sam posted:When i was born o was born 2 months early and was kept at the hospital for awhile. When I was 7 months old a 3 year old jumped on my leg while my dead babysitter was changing me and snapped my femur in half I was in traction until my first birthday. When I was 4 years old a horse kicked me in the face and almost killed me and caused brain damage and I needed reconstructive surgery on my face and jaws and then I had to get braces for 5 years. When I was in grade 9 I was snowboarding and found out I didn't know how to turn right and crashed into a fence and fractured my right arm in 3 places. When I was 17 I tried to kill myself by taking every pill in my family's home and I also drank a bottle of nail Polish remover and some bailey's lmao. I woke up at the hospital to them putting a tube up my nose into my throat for charcoal and then I puked all over and passed back out for hours and had to go to an inpatient program for 3 months and was expelled because I missed so much class lol. When I was 21 I had recently gotten out of prison and saw myself going down another really bad path like the one that had led me to going to prison and threatened suicide and was sent to another adult inpatient program and got clean of drugs and was there for 6 months and I got kicked out because I had a big crush on another patient and it was really toxic for me but I still stayed clean of everything but weed and the occasional beer for over 5 years now. In a month I will be in the hospital to see my first child get born so despite deaths many attempts on me I am passing on my genetic legacy. drat dude, I'm glad you are in a better place now. Stay safe friend
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Jul 26, 2016 22:12
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RabbitWizard posted:I climbed over a fence once and scratched my leg. lol nice going
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Jul 26, 2016 22:18
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While I was hospitalized (the first time), the two doctors couldn't agree on what they thought my issue was. They sent me home with a PICC line installed in my arm and I couldn't much do anything for two weeks. Showering sucked, eating sucked and since I drove stick shift, I wasn't going anywhere. I had to return to the hospital because the drugs didn't end up doing anything. Since the previous assessment was wrong two new doctors argued about what my condition was. I was starved for five days before they had decided that surgery was the best option, leaving me an additional three days without eating so that I could properly be prepped. After surgery, I shat blood for maybe four straight days. I'm talking pure red dooks. I was lucky to have my own room because it was embarrassing to drag a bunch of equipment with me every time I felt like I had to poop. Standing hurt and I had some hot nurses that didn't want to touch my dilznick. I didn't pay all of my hospital bill right away so they sent me to collections and I refused to pay those scumfucks so now I'm not allowed to return to any hospital owned by that particular medical group.
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Jul 26, 2016 22:40
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I've only been hospitalized once, but it involved getting helicoptered a hundred miles or so with what the doctors assumed was a fatal head injury. Multiple skull fractures and some intracranial bleeding, apparently. I was unconscious for hours, and woke up intubated and catheterized in an unfamiliar hospital. First I got them to get the breathing tube out, followed immediately by the drat catheter. Spent a few weeks in the "serious" ward, or whatever is not quite ICU but not general population, although my memories of the first week are hazy and partly hallucinatory. Worst part of the whole time was that they wouldn't let me out to have a cigarette and were really stingy with the nicotine gum. The dire prognosis they initially gave my family was obviously incorrect - the doctors were unaware that my brain is not one of my vital spots.
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Jul 26, 2016 22:50
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RabbitWizard posted:I climbed over a fence once and scratched my leg.
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Jul 26, 2016 23:05
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Captain Yossarian posted:drat dude, I'm glad you are in a better place now. Stay safe friend thanks captain I've been doing great lately and things are just getting better 
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Jul 26, 2016 23:10
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I was hospitalized for Pneumonia when i was 11. It sucked.
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Jul 26, 2016 23:23
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i think something is really wrong with me and that i might die but im too scared to go . but im going to get drunk and do it anyway. i have a doc apppointment tomorrow, ill tell you when i have my cancer baby and then die (via my lawyer and will which will stipulate that i must be banned from cancer)
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Jul 26, 2016 23:25
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i have two titanium rods fused to my spine, missing a rib, and a chuck of my hip one time i also cut my leg open with a chainsaw
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Jul 26, 2016 23:34
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The_end posted:I was hospitalized for Pneumonia when i was 11. It sucked. Same, but 19
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Jul 27, 2016 00:09
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The Bananana posted:Same, but 19 The last time I had pneumonia my fever hit at least 105 degrees. Went to the ER and they gave me IV antibiotics, covered me with wet towels and pointed fans at me in order to get my temperature down. A few hours later the doctor came in and said, "Usually when someone presents with a fever as high as yours I would admit them just to be on the safe side, but you seem fine so you are free to go if you want."
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Jul 27, 2016 00:17
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The norco they gave me ain't doin poo poo
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Jul 27, 2016 02:07
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never because I'm healthy and not broken
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Jul 27, 2016 02:15
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the one time i was admitted from the ER was really boring. at first i woke up in the bed coming off what felt like a large dose of benzos and/or anti-psychotics given hours earlier disoriented, unaware of what happened hours earlier, and barely able to communicate at first and just watched movie after movie on cable tv in my own room. then eventually my neurologist showed up and walked in on me watching Episode II Attack of the Clones and shamed me for my choice of entertainment. the peak of the whole experience came later that night the RN in charge took pity on me and gave me a fat squirt of IV morphine which hit me right as Point Break started up...she left saying that she might return with more but i never saw her again, to this day i think she might have been an angel actually the real highlight was when the bill i was expecting never came and ended up never owing anything since I was on subsidized insurance Thanks Gov. Romney! 
Mariana Horchata fucked around with this message at 02:33 on Jul 27, 2016 |
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Jul 27, 2016 02:29
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I slept in a hospital for about a month, because my wife was in there. She was pregnant with twins, and a fibroid in her uterus swelled up to the size of a basketball, literally. They had to keep her in the hospital for 5 weeks to figure out what pain meds would work. They finally said gently caress it and gave her Fentanyl, which is what they give to terminal patients just to get them nice and high. Then my kids were born 2 months early, 2 and 3 pounds, and addicted to fentanyl. They spent 6 weeks in the NICU. They are 3 now and are just fine and normal. Modern medicine, man. The hospital bill, in total, was over $500,000. However, my wife works in insurance defense and Is a loving genius so she managed to take out every drat insurance plan she could right before she got pregnant. So we ended up paying only $5,000, which we made up with her supplemental work insurance.
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Jul 27, 2016 02:36
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The Bananana posted:The norco they gave me ain't doin poo poo tell them you're allergic to everything except hydromorphone
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Jul 27, 2016 02:51
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When I was 3 months old I wouldn't eat, sleep, or stop crying for days. My dad noticed a bump on my waist and poked it, which caused me to cry a considerable amount more. A couple days later I was getting a hernia operation. Still have the scar nearly 30 years later.
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Jul 27, 2016 03:03
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I am looking very closely at these goons who are in worse health and have more money than me. I'm writing down their names, the times of their posting and eventually I'll get their IPs.
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Jul 27, 2016 03:05
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i got hit by a car once
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Jul 27, 2016 03:07
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i got hit in the 4head w a hockey stick
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Jul 27, 2016 03:11
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I slipped and fell on my rear end, hurting my back in my process. In the hospital the doctor didn't believe me and sent me home with some painkillers. Now at the ripe old age of twenty I wake up some mornings and my back hurts like hell for the day, and those days seem to be getting more frequent. Thanks doc, you cynical oval office.
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Jul 27, 2016 04:07
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Any tips if morphine isn't really working? Lol, the nurses look at me like I'm a drug addiction. But poo poo, my abdomin hurts!
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Jul 27, 2016 11:30
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Annoy the poo poo out of the nurses.
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Jul 27, 2016 11:33
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They're probably just cranky and need some dick, offer to give them yours.
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Jul 27, 2016 11:41
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The Bananana posted:Any tips if morphine isn't really working? Lol, the nurses look at me like I'm a drug addiction. But poo poo, my abdomin hurts! I'd go to the hospital bar and get a stiff drink
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Jul 27, 2016 11:44
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criscodisco posted:They're probably just cranky and need some dick, offer to give them yours. My day nurse was a dude so... but my night nurse is a very cute Idaho girl, so maybe I'll try this approach with her? 
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Jul 27, 2016 11:45
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I know what a clavicle is.
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Jul 27, 2016 11:45
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When I was a kid I got whooping cough and had to spend a couple of days in an isolation room at the Children's Hospital. Then when I was, like, 13 I fractured one of the vertebrae in my spine and got taken to hospital in an ambulance. I remember the paramedics giving me some inhaler drug thing for my pain and as we were driving to the hospital I kept offering it to the paramedic to try because it was such a good high. Then when I was in the ER I needed to pee and insisted that I could walk to the toilet (I couldn't get off the bed) so a nurse gave me a jug thing to pee in that I nearly filled up. I spent a couple of days in hospital hosed up on IV morphine then went home and had to lie down for several months so my spine would heal. I could only get up for, like, ten minutes a day to shower and go to the toilet. I think I read, like, several hundred books during that time because it was all I could do. I remember the school library sending me trash bags filled with random books to read. edit - I'm nearly thirty now and haven't had anything worse than a cold since then.
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Jul 27, 2016 11:46
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Just complain louder and louder and when they ask you to rate your pain on a scale of 1 to 10 say "7 or 8". They'll probably eventually give you dilaudid.
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Jul 27, 2016 11:46
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I threw out my back really badly 10 years ago, and couldn't even get out of bed. Took an ambulance to the hospital and got a shot of painkiller in my butt cheek, and sent home. Got sick with norovirus and was hospitalized due to dehydration caused by barfing/making GBS threads constantly. That was a fun night. Had 2 day surgeries to correct a deviated septum. Only thing I've ever had to pay is $50 for an ambulance ride. Thanks 
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Jul 27, 2016 11:48
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I got quinsy: an abscess between the throat and tonsils that can swell enough to block the airway. I went to a GP who referred me immediately to an ENT hospital. They had to lance and drain the abscess without any anaesthetic or sedative. Hurt like gently caress. Then I was admitted and given IV antibiotics, which I tore out in the night by mistake as I thrashed around feverishly. I was fine the next day. I'm in the UK so all I paid for was to use a private walk-in GP service on a Sunday.
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Jul 27, 2016 11:50
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I had a burst appendix, untreated for about 3 months. Lot of doctors and nurses were kind of amazed that I survived. The funny part is I went to the doctor and said "I have appendicitis" when it first flared up (I'd had it several times previously) but he disagreed and prescribed amoxicillin instead. I suspect that when he jabbed me in the stomach with his fingers was actually when it ruptured.
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Jul 27, 2016 11:56
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I had a nice stay as the nice doctors removed a nice cancerous thing. Anesthesia is scary. Now that my cancer is gone, I attempt to fill the space it once had with f2p game dynamics.
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Jul 27, 2016 11:58
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when i was a kid i fell on a step and split one of my teeth in half. I can't really remember it and I also had my tonsils out for whatever reason, have vague memories of that. more recently i fell off my bicycle on a cycle path iin the wet at night.  had to walk to A&E and they gave me an xray to make sure i hadnt chipped my shin. It wasn't so bad but they didn't clean it out properly and stitched it up so it got infected and I had to go back to hospital.   its all seriously minor compared to any real injuries goons have had though and i'm thankful i've not had anything serious so far!
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Jul 27, 2016 12:06
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When I was 13 I had a groinal hernia and phimosis and I went into the hospital and they put me under general anaesthetic and chopped half my dick off then sliced into me just above my testicles welp that's my story.
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Jul 27, 2016 12:52
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my insurance paid doctors tens of thousands of dollars to abuse my holes. my holes are fixed now but it still hurts a little when I pee here's a video https://youtu.be/efeRVPidNts
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Jul 27, 2016 13:21
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The Bananana posted:Any tips if morphine isn't really working? Lol, the nurses look at me like I'm a drug addiction. But poo poo, my abdomin hurts! Next time get sick somewhere all surgical patients are sent back to the ward with PCA.
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Jul 27, 2016 13:22
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