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UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
The incest one was eggplant wizard who was an Amazon erotica writer. She made money doing it but goons need to make it a huge issue. She also was a mod of pyf and her moderation was very heavy handed at times.

Still not as bad as notjustforbreakfest

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UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
Thing to realize is GIP is a different beast then you seem to think with people that love to gently caress with eachother, also he didnt take the money and run he sent them shirts

just not what they expected :v:

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
Wasn't it kiwi farms that spend an insane amount of time doxxing trans goons? On a goon discord that has come up on how awful that was where people that were not out yet were having all their personal info posted online because people wanted to punish them for being trans. Some people just want to be assholes like that and it doesn't surprise me if someone is doing that in the trans threads still.

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
Need to see if I can find the old pyf roomates from hell thread. That had some insane stories that were :stare: incarnate

Oh god frankie the dildo threads in the goldmine to

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal

Ghost Leviathan posted:

And we aren't even getting into the tales of ausgbs and toys for rear end bum

post link I need more horrors to share

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
Wait what did they buy now? All I know about that shithole site is that they doxxed tons of trans goons and deserve to gently caress off and die.

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
Oh God that guy. Those threads were magical and that's not a joke he got his babysitter pregnant and had her get an abortion so he didn't have another one. I think she was also a piece of work and about as stable as he was?

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
Goons thrive on drama and spite

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
Fau flat out said doing so would earn a ban because he did not want to have a repeat of the porno Rama that happened.

And since the thread moved so fast it's impossible to police before it goes south and rans rampant

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal

ArfJason posted:

that's lucy's thing, but idk, he probably made an extremely bad post somewhere and she's having fun

considering its come up that he loves to try and out anything has pedo loving behavior even if its not in the slightest we all benefit from her fun. guy seems nuts as hell

It also reminds me of a guy from god years ago that Iks were chain probating endlessly to get him to not post there. An admin changed his name to NEVER POST AGAIN and I think it basically went like that every 6 hours for months.

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
The heroin thread that used to be in tcc basically was permadead pages after pages. And this was before fent was really hitting the states I think.

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal

Dillbag posted:

There were deffo a couple of deaths related to phen, though maybe not contained to a single thread. There's brewkakke, a joose dealer who died on a park bench from iirc a combination joose / heroin O.D. (followed by goons tracking down his sister and asking for refunds on their undelivered phen orders). Also the guy that threatened his wife and kids with a gun during a multi-day joose bender then baked to death in his driveway after passing out in his car.

Think that guy was on hyper doses of pain meds and was abusing them. If it's the same guy I think he was also using immodium as he started to get cutoff which hosed his heart up. He nodded off in a hot car and died though.

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
They found it BTW,

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal

FactsAreUseless posted:

When was this?

back in 08-09, I believe it was literally GENERIC ADMIN as the name and he tried to play himself off as a woman to hide himself when he posted.

Edit, also best SA forums saga was when someone managed to probate Support bot and welp it does extremely bad things to the forums

UCS Hellmaker has a new favorite as of 03:08 on Aug 28, 2019

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
btw Fishmechs porn server, it used to be in her account profile as a direct link, was actively used to helldump other goons back in the helldump era because people knew it existed and could scour it for his obsessive data collection, and most of us from that era knew about it. I am completely serious it was a direct link on his account and took you to a directory to search your favorite goon for pics. I am amazed that it never came up before this year

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
oh my god his website is amazing.

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal

cumshitter posted:

ARE YOU A SHARK OR A SHEEP?
What are you waiting for you little bitch? Every second you’re out of the market is money lost. Don’t listen to your wife. If she makes you sleep on the couch tonight I will personally blow you. We can make a night of it. I will take you to the fanciest restaurant in town and make you feel like a god damned princess. We will show that bitch who’s boss.

Act now. Be a man. Be a shark. Be a manshark.

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
https://www.cumshitter.com

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
Yeah no that's a solid drat job and people make bank drawing for the furry community. It just requires you to deal with people with very specific taste that pay well for the exact specs they ask for.

It's easier to earn a living drawing furry porn then it is to be altright :v:

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal

Queen Combat posted:

You know what? The furries I've seen never misgender me, they never persecute me for existence, and they never make fun of my interests or hobbies.

Makes them better than most other people I meet tbh

One of my trans friends said the same thing from a con she went to. Alot of furries are people that found an identity that let them fully express themselves, and a community that doesn't stigmatize them for well, being LGBT + liking to be in a fursuit. Tons of people in that community are LGBT. Honestly who gives a poo poo what they do it's great they found people that do like them and care. Which is what everyone deserves :unsmith:

Cept babyfurs. Those specifically because of the Seattle cons they uh, well by god that was nuts. But people that dress up as babies and poo poo themselves to leave wet diapers everywhere are goddamn weird

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

I got reported for drunkposting in a forum that I mod (in my gang thread no less!!!) a couple years ago and I'm still not 100% if the reporter was joking or not

Damnit I can't report you for shits and giggles

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
Please stop. This isn't qcs :smith:

Like seriously I wanna read about weird things like knothole pisser and cat crawl guy not repeating arguments that will endleslly repeat in a circle and get the thread locked

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal

Anarchist Mae posted:

I just don't want to let this bullshit slip past unanswered for. I'd love it if it stopped too.

There's a report button, posting like that is literally done to troll and derail threads not to promote any discussion. I am all for getting rid of bigots and transphobes and deal with people in my job who make the worst in Yad look like pissants. I just wanna read about dumb poo poo goons did eons ago :smith:

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
(or I'm trying to stop a :hammer: from coming in here and talk about knothole pisser because by god that thread was hilarious)

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
Chickencheese was great, not just because it seemed to bring everyone together but because there were so many good recipes

Any GWS thread can be magical. Let us not forget THE BEST CHILI YOU WILL EVER HAVE
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3406045

worst chili posted:


To that end, I have decided to share my own favorite chili recipe with the lot of you, so that you may convert your shame and anger into chili and anger. In this way, I am the best humanitarian who has ever or will ever survive.

I'm going to be breaking a few sacred chili rules here. Too bad; I apologize to no one.

Ingredients:

1 & 1/2 to 2 lbs of ground PORK (perfect way to uncover jews)
2 packages of french onion soup mix (be prepared for your chili to surrender)
2 tablespoons of chili powder (less if you're a baby, more if you're a man)
4 teaspoons of ground cumin (omit this and I will devour your soul)
1 teaspoon of black pepper (slightly racist)
1/2 teaspoon of salt (or none if you're heaving a heart attack right now)
6 ejaculations (squirts) of Tabasco sauce
1 21-ounce can of red beans and 1 21-ounce can of black beans (I have a dream)
2 6-ounce cans of tomato paste with garlic (regular tomato paste = you're an rear end in a top hat)
2 8-ounce cans of tomato sauce (real men need more than just paste)
1 yellow, orange or red pepper, chopped up (green peppers are Satan's taint)
1 package of sliced mushrooms (yes, you can slice your own mushrooms, smartass)

Instructions:

Put the meat in a huge chili pot and brown it over medium heat
Add 4 cups of water and the french onion soup mix. Stir and let simmer for 10 minutes
Stir in the spices and the Tabasco and simmer for another minute or two
Add the beans, the mushrooms and the chopped pepper
Turn to low and let simmer for at least 20 minutes, 40 is better, stirring every 5-10
Call your mother and tell her she's not allowed to hug you anymore

And that's it, you're done. You just went from a pathetic, flaccid pushover to a chili-chewing boner-owner in about an hour. Your life will thank me.

Who's next? Don't even think about posting a recipe with corn in it. You should be ashamed of yourself.

KFC Double Down posted:

This is back to basics chili. This is “I’m flat loving broke” chili. This is “I have one hour to feed myself before my shift surfing for CP at the local library starts” chili. This is camping chili. This is hunting chili. This is house full of screaming little shits chili. This is the comfort chili you make your best friend right after he walks in on you speed-bagging his sister. This is quick, easy, tasty, man chili. This isn’t the chili you have Gordon Ramsey weep into because you didn’t use all fresh ingredients. And this is not the chili you waste a perfectly good steak making.

NO YOU ALL SUCK posted:

Thank you to the prissy, butthurt, calorie-counting, supr srrious defenders of the internet laws of food. This wouldn't have been any fun at all without you and you frilly pink dresses. The next time I come across one of you weeping because no one likes your food even though you make your own lipstick from scratch, I'll pause for a moment before ripping your ovaries out through your rotten vag and forcing you to eat the omelette I make from your eggs. When you walk in me rage banging your wife/sister/girlfriend/mom I'm sure she'll be very interested in your dissertation on why the best sex she's ever had doesn't really count because I avoid her crotch rot with store-bought rubbers instead of waiting for a sheep to die of natural causes and then getting the express written permission of no fewer than 10 Tibetan monks before using its skin to make prophylactics.

This whole thing was as awesome as an octopus at a circle jerk and the perfect way to spend the 2 days before an extended long weekend.

One day, I'll get tired of staring down volcanoes and I'll come back to post a recipe full of organic, free-range tampons for you to enjoy.

UCS Hellmaker has a new favorite as of 17:21 on Dec 28, 2019

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal

I love everything about this and this is goon.txt in pure onion form. Maybe he was at the ER shoving the onion up his rear end last month

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
Chooch was the one that redid all of the forum designs. He was actually our first coder after radium finally got kicked and removed from ever coming back. Chooch left because he was also the last paid coder and worked with us as long as he got paid, when lowtax wasn't able to support having a full time coder he left on good terms as far as everyone knew. He made the first headway into figuring wtf was going on with radium's code and documenting poo poo for everyone that came later.

Chooch was good and did great work for how insane the forums were after 11 years of radium and not having literally anything documented. It really can't be described how big a leap we took when he started working. Also we found out somehow that the copyright being changed could crash the forums.

UCS Hellmaker has a new favorite as of 23:43 on Dec 28, 2019

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
Not even that, we used to have them prior to 05? But radium's way was so intensive and hacked together that it reduced forum performance immensely. Because radium coded with 15 extra lines to 1 of someone sane. Along with Java redirects and calls to everything. And probably a puppy kill code in there.

Like it can't be described how ugly his coding is. It makes medical coding look sane. I'm not kidding where we had the forums go down before because the copyright got updated one year and boom.

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal

Pastry of the Year posted:

I hope he went back to sleep because I don't have mod buttons on this phone and I've got a sleeping cat on my lap and if I have to move her, I will be sore about it

and you have the ability to do up to 3 day probes now :ohdear:

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
No one loving cares about the current meltdown that never ends

In the credit card thing TB used to accuse admins and lowtax specifically about using the credit card database to harass and dox her. She started throwing out wild accusations about it and it was one of the times lowtax came into en from purgatory to say very calmly to stop or eat a ban because no one has access to the card information by law on his end. Whereupon she being TB, doubled down and went into a screed about how he attacks her and :stare:

Reminder TB is loving insane and anyone calling for her to be unbanned supports a poster that very seriously tells people to go kill themselves.

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
God sometimes it sucks that zendeathrobot deleted tons of his old posts in threads. You miss out on him tearing into mancer calling him out for making poo poo up

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
I don't think slowbeef was, I think some of the AI mods have or were around for a super long time. Or the more obscure forums had people that have or were around for a good part of a decade

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
Oh god yeah Dr elderan has to be the longest serving. He's been around for longer then I have it feels. I still love when he posts just burns in bfc. Moneyball threatened to coupons someone and the deal guru popped in with

"I don't want his dumbass gently caress you"

I think the period where fishmech was chained still haunts him. Nothing beats the guy who found the ignore limit because people kept bothering his coupon threads.

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
Yeah that was the joke :v: he literally broke the forum because he had over 10k posters on ignore. And once it hit the magical limit when one of said posters tried to post it crashed.

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
That fits with most people having favorite threads they bookmark and never leave. I'm guilty of just going through my book marks and hitting go to last read.

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal

Zero One posted:

For me the peak GBS 1.0 was a thread about the working conditions of a northern Ohio amusement park that went on for pages and pages. I tried to bring my own personal experience working there to the thread but I got run out because I was clearly brainwashed by my corporate masters.

Oh god this was the cedar point threads. I forgot about those. The working conditions are legit nuts and they take in students to fill the park and town because they can't get enough employees.

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal

D. Ebdrup posted:

Finally caught up with this thread, but I noticed something while reading through it that I don't think I've seen covered much more than this:

And in the last few pages, someone pointed out the Delete Post admin button that blows poo poo up, but is there a list?

Seems like this thread is perfect for collecting the ways that Radium has trapped the code?

I think the delete post button is more a VB thing that due to the archives does very bad things to the DB, remember ZDR deleted many of his posts when he had his falling out with lowtax and almost every thread he posted in had to be remade because the threads started having phantom pages pop up and posts were being lost. VB probably at the time wasn't made to have an archival function and it was built up without any idea what it may entail if you delete posts.

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal
The way it's going we need an ik just to probe the loving qcs derails.

Also who can forget the flask fucker mod challenge and Abe wearing a fruit hat because he lost his challange, also because he was scared to eat a literal cowboy or baseball hat

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal

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UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal

Iron Prince posted:

all this talk about abe and no one posted the thread where g0m mercilessly owned him for 30 days straight


https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3578905

no seriously read this its amazing.



jesus posted:


The Story of Abe (2014)
[PG] 95 min - Documentary | Drama | Snuff Film | Abesploitation | Viral Video

Rating: 8.0/10 from 256,452 users

Director: me

Tagline: gently caress you Abe. I'm going to kick your rear end nerd.

Synopsis: This brutal exposé on the life of the Something Awful forum's moderator known only as "Abe" tells the story of a broken man's life; using a combination of real footage, interviews, and dramatized recreations of actual events to basically fill up the entire running time of the film.

Cast:
Abe ... Himself
Daniel Day-Lewis ... Abe
Abe Vigoda ...Old Abe
Big pile of oily rags and tar ... Abe's wife
(more...)


Did you Know?
Trivia:

Director's Trademark: Footage of Abe eating overdubbed with sounds of rotten apples being hucked into a bog and loud, exaggerated lip smacking noises

During days when Abe was scheduled for interviews but was unable to attend, a replacement was fashioned out of a disused garbage can with a frowny face on it. The replacement was destroyed upon its discovery by Abe, who cited as the cause of his actions "The unherent (sic) treachery of all who wear my face."
(more...)


Goofs:

Incorrectly regarded as goofs: While burial at a crossroads would be unneccesary, it would still probably kill Abe.

Crew or equipment visible: During the Abe's birth scene, Abe can be seen through an open window attempting to pour milk into a cereal-filled urinal and getting mad.

Incorrectly regarded as goofs: The drainage system of a urinal makes it impossible to hold milk for the length of time required to finish a bowl of cereal. However, it is important to remember that Abe is a dumbass who eats paint and lives in a gigantic hamster ball.

Factual errors: Cooties is not transmissable via raised eyebrows.

Anachronisms: abe's brain!!
(more...)


Quotes:

Abe: After that, of course, I was never allowed to back into any of their locations. But in a way, that was a blessing, because it was then that I found- then that I found- [coughs up a half pound of matted hair]
(more...)

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