Looking for a new girlfriend

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Carmant: Nov 23, 2015; Treadmill? What's that? Is that some kind of cake?

who want to be my girlfriend

# ? Jul 30, 2016 04:47

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# ? May 2, 2024 19:44

The Bananana: May 21, 2008; This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.

Carmant posted:

who want to be my girlfriend

if you find a spare, send her my way

# ? Jul 30, 2016 04:48

Ayeka: May 28, 2016

Carmant posted:

who want to be my girlfriend

Fix you're small shriveled, pathetic excuse for a dick then we'll talk

# ? Jul 30, 2016 04:51

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

Are you pretty?

Carmant posted:

Ive had so many threesomes its hard to count, I've had so much sex my dick is stretched out flat and floppy like a sock

Have you fixed your dick?

# ? Jul 30, 2016 04:51

Carmant: Nov 23, 2015; Treadmill? What's that? Is that some kind of cake?

Ayeka posted:

Fix you're small shriveled, pathetic excuse for a dick then we'll talk

My dick is good

# ? Jul 30, 2016 04:52

Carmant: Nov 23, 2015; Treadmill? What's that? Is that some kind of cake?

Yeah it's really small but thats not even a bad thing.. its how you use it

# ? Jul 30, 2016 04:52

The Bananana: May 21, 2008; This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.

my dick is Chaotic Evil

# ? Jul 30, 2016 04:53

Ayeka: May 28, 2016

Carmant posted:

Yeah it's really small but thats not even a bad thing.. its how you use it

lol if you believe this

# ? Jul 30, 2016 04:53

Carmant: Nov 23, 2015; Treadmill? What's that? Is that some kind of cake?

Ayeka posted:

lol if you believe this

Ive read this in lots of places. If I could just get a gf and lose my virginity I could prove it definitively.

# ? Jul 30, 2016 04:55

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

I enjoy Marvel movies, have a normalish dick and have a bank account approaching six figures. :q:

# ? Jul 30, 2016 04:55

Ayeka: May 28, 2016

VendaGoat posted:

I enjoy Marvel movies

Me too, I'll suck you off for a Jr. Whopper.

# ? Jul 30, 2016 04:57

Carmant: Nov 23, 2015; Treadmill? What's that? Is that some kind of cake?

VendaGoat posted:

normalish dick

Ah.. lets discuss this further

# ? Jul 30, 2016 04:57

The Bananana: May 21, 2008; This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.

Ayeka posted:

for a Jr. Whopper.

Red Flag Spotted

# ? Jul 30, 2016 04:57

Iron Prince: Aug 28, 2005; Buglord

Facebook Aunt posted:

Are you pretty?

pretty....:.....

Gay.

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:00

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

Carmant posted:

Ah.. lets discuss this further

Your negotiations hinge upon my dick?

:frogon:

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:02

Ayeka: May 28, 2016

The Bananana posted:

Red Flag Spotted

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:04

The Bananana: May 21, 2008; This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.

Ayeka posted:

Japan(?)

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:05

lonesomedwarf: Mar 22, 2010

im concerned about the size and length of my dick. when is small too small can someone tell me also is it okay to be uncircumcised and have the foreskin make up at least half the length of youre penis when erect

edit im happy with my girth its just sort of like attaching a sock to the side of a football (like a rugby ball) thats probably the best way to describe it

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:05

The Bananana: May 21, 2008; This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.

lonesomedwarf posted:

im concerned about the size and length of my dick. when is small too small can someone tell me also is it okay to be uncircumcised and have the foreskin make up at least half the length of youre penis when erect

edit im happy with my girth its just sort of like attaching a sock to the side of a football thats probably the best way to describe it

I think it depends on your geographic location

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:07

lonesomedwarf: Mar 22, 2010

The Bananana posted:

I think it depends on your geographic location

i live in hell on earth, garbage land, aka australia

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:08

The Bananana: May 21, 2008; This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.

Oh, snap, let me check in the Australia thread. stad by

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:10

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

lonesomedwarf posted:

im concerned about the size and length of my dick. when is small too small can someone tell me also is it okay to be uncircumcised and have the foreskin make up at least half the length of youre penis when erect

edit im happy with my girth its just sort of like attaching a sock to the side of a football (like a rugby ball) thats probably the best way to describe it

http://www.menshealth.com/best-life/micropenis-sex-secrets

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:16

Ayeka: May 28, 2016

The Bananana posted:

Japan(?)

USsr

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:17

The Bananana: May 21, 2008; This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.

lonesomedwarf posted:

i live in hell on earth, garbage land, aka australia

ok, well that data has come back divided. I watched as much Australian gay porn as I could, and near as I can tell, the answer is: imgay

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:18

Carmant: Nov 23, 2015; Treadmill? What's that? Is that some kind of cake?

lonesomedwarf posted:

i live in hell on earth, garbage land, aka australia

Everyone in Australia is really hot and has a big dick.. even the women have giant clits. That's just what I've heard though.

Facebook Aunt posted:

http://www.menshealth.com/best-life/micropenis-sex-secrets

Having a small dick is pathetic, it doesnt matter how many hot wives he has

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:18

Dinosaurmageddon: Jul 7, 2007; by zen death robot; Hell Gem

Have you tried Russian Amazon's bridal section?

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:21

The Bananana: May 21, 2008; This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

Have you tried Russian Amazon's bridal section?

Don't they usually kill you once they have their green card?

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:22

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

The Bananana posted:

Don't they usually kill you once they have their green card?

I heard that when people know they're gonna die soon they get more stuff done and enjoy life more, so imo it's a bonus :wth:

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:23

lonesomedwarf: Mar 22, 2010

The Bananana posted:

Don't they usually kill you once they have their green card?

definitely checking it out now

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:23

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

I heard those russian brides have a special gun that shoots a really slow bullet that hits your head (or as the cool guys call it the "your brain pan") at the exact moment their green card goes through.

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:24

The Bananana: May 21, 2008; This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.

If the trade off is "You get to have sex with a young, hot, submissive Russian Woman for a few years, wherein in she caters to your every whim, until she is a legal citizen, and then she kills you ", then I'dont know... I think many of us would at least consider it.

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:27

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

The Bananana posted:

If the trade off is "You get to have sex with a young, hot, submissive Russian Woman for a few years, wherein in she caters to your every whim, until she is legal, and then she kills you ", then I'dont know... I think many of us would at least consider it.

Actually I'm pretty sure her boyfriend flies over and the 2 of them tie you up and go to work on your nut sack with boots and truncheons nightly

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:28

The Bananana: May 21, 2008; This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.

a hole-y ghost posted:

Actually I'm pretty sure her boyfriend flies over and the 2 of them tie you up and go to work on your nut sack with boots and truncheons nightly

depending on your specific fetish, this may still be appealing

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:31

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

You can be my girlfriend Carmant. Now STFU and make me dinner.

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:46

SurfaceDetail: Feb 17, 2016; by Cowcaster

looking for a hot goonette gamergirl. Preferably asian. PM me

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:58

Dinosaurmageddon: Jul 7, 2007; by zen death robot; Hell Gem

I can't find anyone to have Sex & the City marathons with either OP, but these appletinis aren't gonna drink themselves! ;-*

# ? Jul 30, 2016 05:59

The Bananana: May 21, 2008; This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.