Military History Mk. III: One that I know of is an archaic word for dick, another is

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Military History Mk. III: One that I know of is an archaic word for dick, another is

«‹›2 »

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

I want to troll some wehraboos: buy one of those fancy model kits for some obscure nazi tank and paint it up as captured by the Soviets.

Panther or tiger?

# ¿ Aug 2, 2016 04:07

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 6, 2024 21:34

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

Question about something I read on another forum. To paraphrase the poster, thinking about Roman soldiers as embodying the kind of 'quiet professional' we expect from today's elite forces is a mistake. Discipline for the Romans was always about reining in the eagerness of a soldier that was supposed to be a bloodthirsty gloryhound. And that furthermore, being obsessed with glory and honor was more important than discipline, though a legionaire still had to have both.

How much can I trust this?

# ¿ Aug 16, 2016 02:36

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

Disinterested posted:

Spanish Blue division description as recorded in von Bock's diary, given by a subordinate:

The spirit of the 17th century lives.

Seriously, they don't take care of their horses? Like how do you assemble a division in 1940s Span without recruiting people that know taking care of animals is important.

# ¿ Aug 18, 2016 04:52

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

In honor of my favorite band releasing a new album, I have a couple questions for the thread.

Who would win in fight between Winged Hussars do against the better armies of the 30 year's war?

Did the Swiss really just get out classed by Spanish and Landsknecht? Didn't they just try to keep up with tactical and technological improvements instead of just going back to their homes and give up on being mercs?

# ¿ Aug 21, 2016 03:10

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

HEY GAL posted:

welcome to the 17th century, plz enjoy your stay

I'm going off of a /r/askhistorians post that I vaguely remember, but wasn't clothing in the pre-industrial era incredibly expensive? To the point where we should regard your guys stripping corpses of their outfits as being more akin to quickly riffling through the dead guy's wallet?

# ¿ Aug 24, 2016 02:41

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

Has there been any recent analysis on how well the Iraq army is doing against ISIS?

Always had a soft spot for armies in these kinda lovely situations.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2016 04:46

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

HEY GAL posted:

wallenstein on point and kepler isn't dead
pappenheim and torstensson are his seconds in command. baner too if he and wallenstein can keep off each other's throats for five minutes, which they couldn't, you should probably only have one huge rear end in a top hat per army
stallhandsch is one of the under-officers
ernst von mansfeld handles keeping poo poo together in a retreat and raising troops, which he was good at even though he lost every fight he had ever been in
montecuccoli will write the inevitable book

but there's no such thing as winning the 30yw all at once, because of the way they raise armies. big defeats can be made good next year, there's no such thing as a decisive battle. the only way you can beat someone is to force them to the negotiating table or exhaust their economic ability to make war.

So that's why the war took so long. But why, in the later periods of the war was it possible to recover within a year from being beaten? Shouldn't all the mercenaries that weren't in your or the enemy's army have starved to death?

# ¿ Aug 27, 2016 18:18

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

SeanBeansShako posted:

Ironclad and pre-dreadnaughts designs look amazing and are wild stuff before they buttoned down with the efficiency. Like 18th to 19th century uniforms.

I'm open to the idea that 18th to 19th century uniforms changed for more than fashion related reasons, but what difference did it make?

And after thinking about it for a while, I can't help thinking modern people dress really bizarrely. Like a thin tshirt on top and a thick, rugged set of jeans. That's like wearing a teddy on top and plate armor on the bottom.

# ¿ Sep 18, 2016 17:48

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

Ensign Expendable posted:

Do you perhaps mean, 45.9%? If not, I would love to see that report.

Meanwhile, in Western Europe, German tanks (and these are Tigers and Panthers only) get penetrated 56% of the time.

I found the table he's speaking of! I'ts Maksim Kolomiets, Proslaveniy t-34(Moscow: Yauza, 2012) page 470.

# ¿ Sep 21, 2016 04:39

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

So the latest Battlefield game is taking a lot of criticism for including a whole bunch of self-loading rifles used or manufactured in incredible small numbers as standard issue in World War I.

The problem I'm having though, is why did bolt action rifles last for clear into the second world war? There were examples of semi-autos during and before WWI, and every other field of military technology advanced substantially, so why did infantry weapons get left in the dust?

# ¿ Sep 24, 2016 04:08

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

Canadians can own guns?

# ¿ Sep 25, 2016 04:54

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

OwlFancier posted:

The absurd shooting might make sense if it was the second world war and they were using that FG42 thing.

Assuming, y'know, they could scrape together enough of them to equip a whole squad.

IIRC, they were armed with g44s, so close.

# ¿ Sep 26, 2016 05:26

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

Cyrano4747 posted:

nd everyone needed to make as many proven rifles as they could ASAP. Germany is a bit of an odd case but there were big political considerations behind not developing an autoloaders until the early 40s.

Also re: wehraboos and the myth of superior equipment: remember that a lot of that was caused by post war generals memoirs that were studied as the how to on fighting the commie menace. You really have to look st that through the lens of the early Cold War.

Do we have any accounts of the American/British general's reactions to those memoirs? Does seem kinda of odd that experienced generals who fought the Germans didn't see anything through the Germans' self serving accounts.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2016 01:07

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

HEY GAL posted:

if they can't balance their gustavus adolphus song with one about the glories of the imperialist war machine, they're biased

There was a pretty good song about the swiss guard, that's in the general area, I think.

# ¿ Sep 27, 2016 05:12

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

On the subject of British tank design, why the heck did infantry tanks of world war 2 mount a light cannon that only shot AP. They were supposed to advance with infantry and shoot up fortifications, which screams "big rear end HE gun" to me.

# ¿ Sep 28, 2016 02:55

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

British infantry tanks like the Churchill.

# ¿ Sep 28, 2016 03:37

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

Raenir Salazar posted:

So I was watching some videos from "Military History Visualized" narrated by a German dude, I don't recall in particular if any of the ones I saw rang any alarm bells but of course his comments appear to be inundated by cancer.

I linked Ensign Expendable blog and got this response:

We appreciate you Ensign Expendable.

was that actually the MHV guy? A lot more political then I expected from him.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2016 16:27

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

Ensign Expendable posted:

The ability to look up Soviet records to compare to German versions of events will never not be amazing. I read about a battle where (as the Germans claim) two Mechanized Corps' worth of T-34s drove into their ambush and 90% of them were destroyed. Actual Soviet tank losses for that day, across the entire Front: 5.

Did you make a cheating at statistics article about that one?

# ¿ Oct 27, 2016 18:49

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

What's that book you talk about, Cyrano the one with the german POW who doesn't like Hitler but thinks the final solution was awesome.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2016 00:50

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

What is the deal with Styker Brigade Combat Teams?

They could be useful, but they're practically lifted from combatreform.org with LAVs instead of M113s?

Is Mike Spark secretly the pseudonym of General Dunford?

# ¿ Dec 21, 2016 03:59

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

Raenir Salazar posted:

How "realistic" holistically speaking, in terms of doctrine, arms procurement, occasional gently caress ups, arms race, etc are the Honor books?

Star Trek and Star Wars both seem to have this issue of not really being holistic in their approach to the above. Star Trek until Enterprise and Star Trek Online seem to entirely lack ground forces.

Star Wars is more of the opposite, I feel like technology and armament procurement has more or less entirely stagnated and lacking in grand strategy while the ground stuff seems to at least pass the sniff test.

In that one Honor Harrington book I've read you had Haven building a new advanced fleet so they could keep Manticore off their backs and the Chinese-Prussians had new propulsion engines and the Solarian league just didn't give a gently caress because of how huge it was; I liked the idea it was kind of like Ming China in terms of sheer size with all of the various kingdoms and pseudo republics were like all tiny ants in comparison but like China the League was like too huge to ever do anything unless they lost a baseball game or something.

But I got the impression that Haven is kind of how the author views robust nordic welfare states so I'm not particularly inclined to continue unless I'm imagining things.

Alright for the early books but going completely mad when the author stopped letting editors work on the book. Manticore starts effortlessly producing major technological breakthroughs in response to ever larger and more ineptly led fleets of super-dreadnoughts.

# ¿ Dec 25, 2016 18:41

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

I thought it meant you were a commie. Would explain the user name.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2017 00:29

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

Can anyone name a game where a Nazi commits a war crime? I can't think of one and the new COD trailer seems to indicate that the ratio they're going for is one attempted German killing of an unarmed American to three German POWs killed by Americans.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2017 02:09

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

Isn't building tank components to fail at about the same time standard policy for all modern armies? I always assumes the Soviets were ahead of the curve in that regards.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2017 04:55

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

Cyrano4747 posted:

I'd have to disagree with that. Read all the newspapers and poo poo around and you find out that the US basically puled a Japan - they fought loosing battle after loosing battle until they were pushed back to N. America, at which point they still held out until NYC was nuked in the late 40s.

And that's what bugs me about the sequel, the big problem wasn't a lack of spirit, it was the Nazis constantly pulling out bullshit technological breakthroughs. You kill the guy responsible, Nazis world order break down because they can't keep pulling out wonder weapons to put down revolts or stop the protagonists.

# ¿ Sep 10, 2017 20:54

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

Raenir Salazar posted:

Apparently there's a war movie about random Japanese and Koreans Red Army conscripts in some sort of penal battalion is this based on anything factual?

I remembering watching it on youtube somewhere and it's actually very, very loosely based on those korean dudes Grand Prize Winner is taking about.

# ¿ Nov 26, 2017 02:41

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

Anyone know of any cocktails named after noted European conquerors?

With Caesar salad, Beef Wellington and Napoleon pastry, I have all the courses I need for a formal dinner. I just need an alcoholic beverage to go with it.

If not, I was thinking something themed around Landsknechts. Do you guys think that something like a white russian but with orange liqueur to represent their usual color scheme would work?

# ¿ Dec 31, 2017 03:18

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

feedmegin posted:

Umm who did Wellington conquer

I'm working with what I've got, like how the Caesar salad isn't named after Julius Caesar.

# ¿ Jan 1, 2018 04:17

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

Were there any obscure german vehicles armed with 88mms. A guy at work asked me to tell him all the german tanks armed with 88s and of course, being a good goon I rattle off "Nashorn, Tiger, King Tiger, Jagdpanther, Elefant, Ferdinand". But, i figured I might as well ask the thread too.

# ¿ Jan 3, 2018 02:19

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

HEY GUNS posted:

The Black Hundreds may have been proto-fascist, any takers?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Hundreds

it would have owned far more to present them exactly how (we think) they were--unusually archaic religious beliefs, pederasty, and all, and made it stare unblinkingly into the reader's eyes.

In my dissertation right now I'm approaching the problem of presenting my dudes' way of life to the reader almost like worldbuilding in a sci fi novel, i want to convey that sense of strangeness.

Hey guns sci-fi novel about shooting laser pistols out of quantum windows when?

# ¿ Jan 16, 2018 04:14

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

Has any army ever had to capture a large (20-30 stories) skyscraper from a determined defender? I was just struck by the thought that that must be a whole new level of hell.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2018 02:33

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

Raenir Salazar posted:

They're now also claiming that if the weather was better the Germans would have easily taken Moscow. Which book was referenced in this thread about Operation Typhoon and how many tanks they kept losing?

I believe it was "The Drive on Moscow: Operation Taifun, 1941".

# ¿ Mar 11, 2018 16:54

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DxClgfEhsU

Someone uploaded the complete coat sequence from Death of Stalin. That is a pretty sweet outfit.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2018 03:51

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

What the heck jacket was Zhukov wearing in the clip anyway? I can't find Soviet uniforms in the same style, and honestly, if I had one, I'd show up to my own wedding in the thing.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2018 03:58

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

This is all very entertaining, but I'm really interested in the fact that Cavalry wasn't dominated by aristocrats.

Was it not at least partically true for early middle ages that heavily armored cavalry were the decisive unit of battle and that the collapse of the organized state meant that only wealthy and therefore noble men could afford to equip themselves as such?
Isn't that how the lowest rank of Roman nobility got their name.

I can see why it wouldn't need to hold true across all of history, but it's surprising.

What role did nobility play in society if not fighting in expensive gear that commoners couldn't do?

# ¿ Mar 27, 2018 04:37

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

Alexander the Great is vastly overrated, come at me.

I agree with this. The guy just took his father's army into another empire and managed to successfully defeat that empire's army in a battle that could just as easily gone the other way.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2018 19:54

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

I found a let's read the thread.(Though warning, the book being read is near turner diaries level of racism)

And here's a bunch of links to a shorter let's read of the same book done on 4chan:
https://desuarchive.org/k/thread/30422117/
https://desuarchive.org/k/thread/30443812/
https://desuarchive.org/k/thread/30477496/
https://desuarchive.org/k/thread/30511808/
https://desuarchive.org/k/thread/30573573/
https://desuarchive.org/k/thread/30597403/
https://desuarchive.org/k/thread/30612767/

The book is called Victoria, it was written by William S. Lind, a major player in the 80s era combat reform movement and heavily involved in promoting the 'cultural Marxism' conspiracy theory. It purports to be about a Christian Conservative nation emerging during and after the collapse of the US battling a succession of threats by implementing Lind's theories on 4th generation warfare.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2018 20:47

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

Panzeh posted:

I can't talk about the top secret weapons to bombard japan.

Also things you can learn from youtube: RPGs are ineffective against aluminium- well that one's a blacktail/mike sparks oldie, but still hilarious as gently caress

You got that link? Sounds hilarious.

Edit: Looks like it's just some kind of upgrade package without any details then some kind of crazy "Heat Jets can't melt Aluminum beams" alt-physics.

Monocled Falcon fucked around with this message at 20:45 on Apr 17, 2018

# ¿ Apr 17, 2018 20:37

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

There should a word in German for the way fascists gently caress up because their weird bullshit ideas don't work when they meet the cold hard reality of actual warfare.

# ¿ Apr 24, 2018 18:53

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 6, 2024 21:34

Monocled Falcon: Oct 30, 2011

chitoryu12 posted:

Actually the thing about the Air Force being unconstitutional reminds me of the myth that snipers armed with .50 cal anti-materiel rifles are technically ordered to fire at enemy equipment like their belt buckles or web gear to "legally" be allowed to shoot individuals with such large rounds.

Which reminds me of Correia's hype over those same guns. I mean, you can shoot at individual soldiers with 155mm howitzers "legally" why would something far smaller violate the law?

# ¿ Apr 25, 2018 02:10

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Military History Mk. III: One that I know of is an archaic word for dick, another is

«‹›2 »