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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > The Best Excuse to get out of Jury Duty
 
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JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
Go in wearing pajamas and smelling like poo poo. (Aka, a typical morning for me)

* # ¿ Aug 6, 2016 20:34
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# ¿ May 17, 2024 08:28
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JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
Holy poo poo, I'm surprised you weren't arrested.

Where I live, you can't have anything on you like a phone, tablet, earbuds, headphones, MP3 etc. when you're inside the courthouse. They make you go through a full xray scanner and everything. They also have no place like lockers to store them so you'd better not make a mistake by bringing it because you're SOL.

* # ¿ Aug 6, 2016 21:09
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JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!

Linux Pirate posted:

Mind you this was just the waiting room for people summoned to possibly be selected for jury duty, I wasn't on a jury and I'm sure if I was selected to be they wouldn't let me have a phone, for good reason.

Our courthouse is all over. Once you enter the building, you can go to a small room to make any payments, but to go beyond that you have to stand in line, empty all your pockets, put everything in a tray, take off belts and jackets and so on. Big signs about no phones, MP3 players, anything electronic, etc.

THAT'S you get out of jury duty: Become that Steve Mann and say that the requirements of even being called to jury duty would be impossible due to court rules about cameras in the courtroom and jury room.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Mann

* # ¿ Aug 7, 2016 02:31
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JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
"I'm an avid forensic scientist LARPER so I'd be perfect for this trial! Every week, some friends and I get together and try to solve crimes, both real and imagined. We've put together a pitch for Fox called 'Playing Detective" that this trial would be super for, because we'd be able to say we have a real criminal case experience! The plot is a modern day Sherlock Holmes where the cops have let crimes go unsolved, but the three of us get together and reenact crimes and use clues to solve the crime and the police end up taking all the credit. No one here can steal that idea, by the way, because it's in the court record now and we've already submitted a show bible to the Writer's Guild."

* # ¿ Aug 7, 2016 23:07
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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > The Best Excuse to get out of Jury Duty