Ask me about making horrific silicone fantasy dildos! [NWS]

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Ask me about making horrific silicone fantasy dildos! [NWS]

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

poo poo is (usually, hopefully, in healthy people) significantly softer than a replica Yoshi egg, plus the wedging and stress issues.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2016 08:31

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 11:49

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

Dildomancer how much do you usually charge for, for example, a glow-in-the-dark elf cock?

# ¿ Aug 23, 2016 12:57

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

Dildomancer posted:

I'd totally make some hosed-up elf dick for y'all.

Yes.

Balls count as a flared base, right?

# ¿ Aug 24, 2016 02:30

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

Carth Dookie posted:

I have it on good authority that elf balls are actually acorns.

Holy poo poo it could even have little leaves for pubes

# ¿ Aug 24, 2016 02:52

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

elise the great posted:

I hope all your girlfriends catch you.

My girlfriend was how I found out about this thread!

# ¿ Aug 24, 2016 04:46

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

Dildomancer I know you said you wont post your store but how much for one (1) plastic puntl? Complete with acorns, vestigial tentacles, et cetera?

# ¿ Aug 24, 2016 05:12

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

Not if it has the cock ring!

...

Dildomancer, can you make one with and one without? Start a crowdfunding campaign for it or something.

Elise, you're an international treasure.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2016 05:16

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

Humanish but more sharp/slender/pointed-like, like their ears?

# ¿ Aug 24, 2016 05:19

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

Manuel Calavera posted:

Aww, shame. But fair enough on that! I'd legit wanna see though if you'd be willing to share via a PM or email. If not, also understandable!

This.

Also seriously Dildomancer make the elfcock.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2016 05:33

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

elise the great posted:

I feel so unclean. The lord will judge me. When I sober up, I will judge me.

I'm hella judgey and I like you. You're cool and good.

Wrinkly scroteskin on top like the top of an acorn, with with the anticuck node below as the smooth part?

# ¿ Aug 24, 2016 06:17

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

elise the great posted:

And I like Waci's scrotum postulate. For a given value of "like."

I feel way more validated by this than I really should. Thank you renowned elf sex expert Elise!

# ¿ Aug 24, 2016 06:26

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

This thread is wonderful, Dildomancer and Elise are wonderful, and I hope you keep the molds because you'll need more than one of the puntls.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2016 20:24

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

sbaldrick posted:

This is the best thread,

I kind of want a dildo with Elisa rant but also say

One Dildo to rule them all, One Dildo to please them,
One Dildo to get them off and in the darkness bind them"

This should be the inscription on the cock ring.

# ¿ Aug 26, 2016 02:08

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

Perhaps the reason for the birth rate issue is not a biological one, but rather an aversion to tentacles resulting in a preference for ring-assisted masturbation? The Calaquendi would certainly have cock ring technology, but the Avari might not.

# ¿ Aug 26, 2016 16:56

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

A lot of people find naturally occurring parts of the human body pretty gross though. See: the before-mentioned pube.

# ¿ Aug 26, 2016 17:53

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

elise the great posted:

I dunno, maybe clitoral tissue is integrated into the tentacle structures? I've got even less textual support for this, because JRRT was a Victorianist don and probably didn't believe in the existence of the clitoris. I mean, not that he was totally thumbing his chin and pondering the impact of rheseus-antigen immunology, but that he would probably find some (nauseated and angry) spark of sense in a mechanical barrier to elves boning each other out of wedlock, whereas the mechanisms by which female elves achieve orgasm would be sociologically irrelevant to him.

I mean, if I was designing porno elf bajingae, obviously the clitoris would be the big gripping tentacle, although this might result in distressingly... prehensile shaft and glans behavior in the elven penis, since those arise from the same tissue. Eugh. It doesn't bear thinking about.

Maybe something like in hyenas?

# ¿ Aug 26, 2016 21:27

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

I mean, we're already dependant on a bunch of poo poo from across taxological domain lines that outnumbers our own cells for staying alive, so I guess adding some fungal cells would in a way be less weird than what we already have going on.

# ¿ Aug 26, 2016 22:11

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

As long as it has sparkles...

# ¿ Aug 28, 2016 05:12

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

Personally, I think the acorns are fine but could be upside down. The tentacles could be more pronounced and/or more numerous, though.

Still, that's nitpicking on things that COULD be different, not things that NEED to be different. This thing belongs in a museum.

# ¿ Aug 28, 2016 07:29

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

Holy poo poo

# ¿ Aug 30, 2016 05:24

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

I thought the thread couldn't improve further, and then you come in with quantitative results of dildo-stretching.

# ¿ Sep 3, 2016 15:35

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

Dildomancer posted:

If you mix it into silicone without any other pigment, it looks like jizz.

How often has this been the intended outcome rather than something to avoid?

# ¿ Sep 3, 2016 22:16

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

But think of all the other random poo poo you could print!

# ¿ Sep 17, 2016 00:11

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

Liquid Communism posted:

I bet you're a lot of fun at parties.

If your parties revolve around fictional rap battles, I'm sure Fauxtool is relatively fun.

Also, nice thread/username combo

# ¿ Sep 27, 2016 17:54

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

You say that as if it were a bad thing

# ¿ Sep 30, 2016 13:06

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

RandomPauI posted:

Can you tie it in a bow?

Oh my god I never thought of "you have my bow" as a pickup line

# ¿ Oct 13, 2016 14:10

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

Fauxtool posted:

i didnt think people were so hungry for dicks

Please re-read pages 3-25 of this thread and reflect on its puntl-praying populace.

# ¿ Oct 15, 2016 05:15

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 11:49

Waci: May 30, 2011; A boy and his dog.

I feel like "even a professional couldn't shove this thing up themselves" is a pretty telling review about it's usability.

# ¿ Oct 24, 2016 15:10

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Ask me about making horrific silicone fantasy dildos! [NWS]