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I just want you to know that this thread has made my (horrified, fascinated, vaguely nauseated) day and I salute you, fellow purveyor of admittedly very different filth.Wedemeyer posted:Perhaps they were expecting Thranduil elf cock and not dragon dick My LotR nerd glands require me to question how different elf cock is from a regular fleshtone floppy rubber dilz. DOES IT SPARKLE. VERY IMPORTANT.
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Aug 17, 2016 05:33
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I mean, I see a lotta gross dicks, but nobody's trying to put some giant edematous heart failure scrote up their bunghole. This is really something special. Also thanks for launching me into a morbid spiral of wondering just how terrible elf dicks could be. (Ever notice how there are male human + female elf babies, but no male elf + female human babies? I bet there's something real wrong with elf dicks. What is wrong with me.) I'm deathly curious about this ovipositor thing. Is it just a dong-shaped thing with a female bug-parts name? Is it associated with the giant egg thing? Like, obviously it's not gonna lay eggs in your butt, so what makes the difference between an ovipositor and an orc dick or whatever? Also is most of the drama just kink policing and ~problematic callouts~ and tumblr bullshit, or does it get darker and uglier than that? I can see custom dildo sales having a really unpleasant doxxing problem.
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Aug 17, 2016 17:11
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Ha ha you guys very funny /googles "ovipositor dildo"  e: IT LAYS EGGS IN YOUR BUTT. ee: IT REALLY DOES. IT LAYS EGGS IN THERE. THAT IS A REAL THING. MY PT HAS A ROTTEN SCROTUM FULL OF FLESH-EATING BACTERIA THAT ARE TUNNELING INTO HIS ABDOMEN AND THIS IS STILL THE MOST hosed-UP THING IVE SEEN TODAY. I CANT CALM DOWN elise the great fucked around with this message at 18:27 on Aug 17, 2016 |
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Aug 17, 2016 18:22
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Okay, okay. You guys want theories about elf dicks? I'm gonna make you some theories about elf dicks. Watch this space, motherfuckers.
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Aug 24, 2016 02:12
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First things first: we actually do know what elves called their dicks, because even the glorious JRRT couldn't keep his hands out of his pants. The poetic term (yes, elves seem to have engaged in erotic poetry) would be gwî, but for everyday usage gwib was the preferred term. Puntl is provided as the coarse, moderately transgressive term, and likely what you would be invited to suck if you went down on a male elf. Alas, due to the ban on the Noldorin language, we have no surviving slang for Fëanor's johnson. Second, if we assume that JRRT's intention is the guiding light for inferred details of the history and function of Arda, we are left with several clues as to the genital features of elves. In early drafts of the Silmarillion and pre-LotR writings that would eventually give rise to the War of the Ring, JRRT called them "gnomes" rather than "elves," a detail that reflects his internal monologue about them and is consistent with his para-LotR writings about them, including mutilations, betrayals, incest, genocide, colonial violence, and misotheistic rebellion. His mental image during the construction of Ardan history was almost certainly closer to the Rankin-Bass imagery than the Peter Jackson interpretation. Thus we are left to interpret the idea of gnomes-- a Paracelsean ideology tied closely to alchemy-- and of their Germanic and Norse equivalents, nature and household spirits that include classic Germanic dweorgs (that is, dwarves) but with the added qualification of tallness as a common indicator of worthiness. I discern here between dwarf-figures of Greek and British mythology, which tend to be lusty, massively endowed pranksters, and gnomes/dweorgs, which are rarely cast in a sexual light. Some textual support could be interpreted for the influence of Pan on the elves, given that Silvan elves (and their Rivendell cousins) are singing, dancing, merry-making, traveler-harassing figures throughout the books. If we adhere to this interpretation, elves are probably packing huge veiny wangs that could put your loving eye out while you're trying to slip em the suck. I feel that it is, however, more likely that JRRT would have viewed his elves as more romantic and less sexual. Certainly they reproduce at an exceedingly slow rate and for an incredibly small window of their adult lives. A Panic elf would be extremely unlikely to live for two thousand or more years and sire no more than three or four offspring. For this reason, we are most likely dealing with the less overt sexual characteristics of a Paracelsean elf, which rules out giant Priapus-style horse cocks that are eternally bone-ready, but leaves us with less to go on than we might need, if we're gonna pour a giant silicone elf dick. Ah, but now we've alluded to reproductive evidence of elvish sexual activity, and down this road we find some very interesting possibilities. For one thing, the gnomes of Paracelsus were closely related to the concept of the homunculus, and tended to be sexless or at most secondary-masculine (think garden gnomes). We can assume, in combination with the romantic, Victorianistic leanings of JRRT, that male elves were not afflicted with unwanted boners, and found it fairly simple to reserve their sexual activity to intramarital intercourse. Additionally, in the extracurricular writing Laws and Customs of the Elves (LACE henceforth), we find some fascinating aspects of elvish sexuality laid bare. Elves are incapable, it seems, of adultery, which actually kills them. They are also heavily implied to be incapable of masturbation, and are explicitly hesitant to remarry after the death of a spouse, which carries over into the Silmarillion, when Fëanor's father seeks permission from the spirit of his mother (who has died in childbirth) to remarry. Clearly, something about their physiology and/or psychology is not compatible in any way with promiscuity, and the consequences of promiscuity can be literally fatal. The lethality of sex can, I feel, be best comprehended as an immune function similar to rH incompatibility between mother and fetus. It would, from an evolutionary standpoint, benefit a male elf (ellyn) to be certain that his offspring are actually his own, since their gestation and childhood are protracted and may consume a great deal of resources. This may have resulted in a gradual evolutionary arms race, in which an ellyn might conjugate not only his genetic material but also a dose of antibodies and/or chimeric B-cells, which are keyed to attack all sperm without his specific antigen set. In return, the female elf (or elleth) might perhaps develop her own antibody/B-cell dosage, but this begs the question of how to confer them to the male, since transmission of microbes from vagina to penis is much less reliable than the inverse. I am getting a horrible idea and I will refer back to this concept in a moment. So assuming that extramarital sex results in autoimmune-induced death similar to anaphylaxis in mechanism, we ask ourselves: what about the other compelling aspect of elvish sexuality, that of interbreeding with humans? Leaving out the question of DNA compatibility-- which is demonstrated in canon, and which we must accept as legitimate if we are to consider this topic at all-- we have a disturbing question to address. We have multiple incidents throughout the history of Beleriand and Middle-Earth of elven/human offspring, all of which occur between a Man and an elleth. Given that the two species are capable of creating not only hybrids but fertile hybrids (Elrond produced three offspring), it is foolish to imagine that in all of Ardan history there was never a potential ellyn-woman romance that resulted in offspring, unless there was something preventing reproduction between ellyn and woman that did not exist between man and elleth. The safest bet is not that all ellyn-woman romances remained chaste-- anyone who's met a teenager can tell you better than that-- but that ellyn-woman sexual activity is incapable of producing offspring. This is extremely unusual, as the most obvious reason for sex-discriminant infertility is more likely to favor female humans than male humans. Human ova contain mitochondria, while human sperm consume their mitochondrial power for motility and do not confer mitochondrial DNA to their offspring. Either something is happening on an immune/cellular level, which would seem to conflict with our immunological theory of lethal adultery, or something is happening on the mechanical level-- something which is, perhaps, related to the transference of female immune material to the male partner. Perhaps, to put it crudely, the ellyn just can't get it up. In humans, the penis consists of several structures of erectile tissue which cradle the urethra between them. This specialized tissue is capable of interrupting venous return, creating penile engorgement and thus erection by trapping blood within the corpus cavernosum. This tissue is notoriously indiscriminant about stimuli, making it easy for male humans to ejaculate without even the participation of another human. Elves, on the other hand, can't even masturbate, an activity so universal among species with external genitalia that it's almost unimaginable for a species capable of poetry to be incapable of wanking. And yet human males can couple with elven females. This implies some weird-rear end poo poo, so I suggest you pour yourself that drink right now. Male elves achieve erection by external constriction. To have sex, they need some biological equivalent of a cock ring. Whether their penises are "innies" or just flaccid except during intercourse, they are incapable of restricting venous return on their own... and yet the elven vulva must be compatible to some degree with penetration, or else man/elleth coupling wouldn't produce offspring. One may, if one is willing to consider extreme possibilities, entertain the idea that the elven vulva may exhibit some mechanical trait that assists the ellyn in achieving erection by constriction, by restricting venous return through strangulation. Something that would not put off human males universally, although it might make man/elleth couplings more rare and account for the relative scarcity of elf/human offspring. Something that would make it impossible for an ellyn to penetrate a woman, or to achieve orgasm and ejaculation with a human female. Something that would even allow the ellyn to contribute internal disposition of antibodies and B-cells reliably, potentially through urethral penetration of the penis. The elvish vulva, my friends, consists of outer labia, inner labia, a vaginal vestibule opening on a penetrable vaginal canal, and a set of tentacles. In elven intercourse, the vulval tentacles constrict and penetrate the flaccid penis, simultaneously permitting/inducing erection and depositing immune bodies deep in the genitourinary tract, most likely the bladder, where they can swim up the ureters to the renal anastomosis and infiltrate the bloodstream. The erect elvish penis is then able to deposit its genetic-- and immune-- material within the vagina. Human females, having no corollary to these tentacles, can arouse a male elf and even engage in non-PIV sexual activity, but can never obtain genetic material from male elves, and therefore no ellyn/woman pregnancies occur. For human females, this means you can have a hot elf boyfriend that can never get you pregnant, but he's likely to leave you eventually for somebody who can actually get him off. Male elves probably got the gently caress around in Middle-Earth, since they could chow down on human pussy for decades before settling down with a nice elleth who would get knocked up as soon as they exchanged fluids. For human males, this means that you're totally capable of landing a hot lady elf, as long as you don't mind her tentacles crawling up your dick every time you shark her in the rear end while she's asleep, and as long as you don't mind that she can totally cheat on you and in fact might have chosen to gently caress you specifically because she can screw around behind your back without breaking out in a fatal case of hives. Aragorn was one kinky-rear end fucker. And if you read all the way through this drunken, giggling spiel, the silicone elf dick you're looking for is of normal to generous proportion, but it's strangled up and down with simulated tentacles, or at least constricted by a really tight cock ring. I thought way the gently caress too much about this. I consulted the LACE about this. gently caress every last one of you for goading me into this nightmare of grisly overanalytic humiliation. I hope all your girlfriends catch you.
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Aug 24, 2016 03:27
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I mean, if you're looking for something obviously weird, labial and scrotal tissue are embryonically identical and rely on a testosterone flood to develop appropriately, so elf ballsacks and probably the underside of the shaft might exhibit some vestigial tentacles (some of you penis-havers probably have skin seams up the underside and know what I'm talking about). Kind of a fleshy fringe like a turkey's wattles, but... you know... sexy I would not gently caress an elf e. I like the idea of internal testes, but the difference in core temperature would need to be significant enough that elves would feel cold to the touch. Which would make them feel a little... corpsey. But hey, that makes the silicone more accurate.
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Aug 24, 2016 03:44
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I dunno, probably bell-shaped? The meatus is likely to be larger than in humans, since a tentacle's gotta go up there. If there's a depression or groove in the penis for the tentacles to find, it's likely to be at the base, where the "ring" of constriction will be most useful. Stretchy scrote skin seems to be a function of both cooling and of corollary to vulval/vaginal skin, which has to stretch enough to expel a baby. So you're probably still gonna have the reticulated wrinkly scrotum, and testes as normal, but there might be some other tissue-- similar to the vas deferens, but closer in structure to a lymph node-- which produces or houses the specialized B-cells. So maybe normal-looking testes, but with smooth lymph nodes adjoined. (Though these might just as well be internal, like the prostate.) If you want to get really, really weird, and assume some correlation between elven and human vaginas, you might posit that a male elf with tentacles strangling his dick isn't likely to thrust a whole lot, so the penis is more likely to operate best as a stationary stimulator with minimal movement than as a ramrod-style plunger. That means it's gonna push hard against the anterior vaginal wall and press deeply into the pre-uterine pelvic region through the smooth muscle anterior to the cervix. We're looking at a fairly upward-curved, long penis that's bulkier near the base, with (once again, assuming human correlation) a pronounced and very sensitive frenulum that can produce adequate sexual stimulation from minimal motion for the male to achieve ejaculation. Also, gay elves are gonna be waaaaaaaay into rope bondage. I feel so unclean. The lord will judge me. When I sober up, I will judge me.
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Aug 24, 2016 06:10
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Nah man, why do you think the elves were diminished and went away into the West? And I like Waci's scrotum postulate. For a given value of "like."
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Aug 24, 2016 06:24
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And I, in turn, have been inspired by the almighty Dildomancer, whose rubber chubbers were so awesome that they broke the clandestine international peace of chode-rendery and drove me through drink and out the other side into elf-ballsack crazy. This thread is amazing. God, the shame I'll feel tomorrow. I kind of regret not owning a silicone sindarin schlong now. elise the great fucked around with this message at 06:48 on Aug 24, 2016 |
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Aug 24, 2016 06:34
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I will GLADLY pay shipping for that amount of glory. Heck, if you end up with enough, I'd pay full price for a second as well, because I have a really uptight and proper close friend who thinks the liberties I've taken with the works of Tolkien are borderline criminal, and I'd like to hand him a huge lubed-up topical dong and invite him to go gently caress himself. (He's not wrong.)
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Aug 25, 2016 01:16
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I'm basically weeping inside my soul right now and I can't tell if it's with delight or horror. That sounds like a mental image I can get on board with, and I feel like acorn-influenced testicle shapes might even work, if we go with the smooth lymph node/anti-cvck gland thing. Other than that, I wrote a giant essay about elf dicks while drunk, but this does not make me an expert in actual elf dicks and my opinion should not be the thing you cling to. More like... the thing you hold at arm's length between thumb and middle finger while looking for the garden hose. Dildomancer is the true wizard here.
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Aug 26, 2016 00:20
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I've saved lives. I've slain men. I've cupped my gloved hands to catch a stranger's poo poo. I've touched a living human heart and, two days later, bullied the owner of that heart into standing up and walking. I've pulled the tube from my pt's throat, and held their hand while they died because of it, and gone back the next day to the next dying man to do the same thing again. But when they remember me, they will remember this. My legacy will be elf dicks, and you know what? That's okay.
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Aug 26, 2016 00:49
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Oh god, I guess you could read it that way? I'm not thinking about some sort of inflatable mechanism for keeping Tab A jammed in Slot B, I'm just hazarding a guess about what might not feel completely boring if it only moves a little. So if it involves any G-spot stimulus, it probably has kind of a lumpy shape? That just seems like a potentially poor source of stimulus since the G-spot isn't always comfortable to stimulate, some people don't like it at all, and those who are really into it apparently prefer very rigid, unyielding pressure. I am the wrong person to ask about what dick shapes are most vagina-friendly. I hate that I even know what a knot is; I was a virgin when I met my husband; and although I have seen perhaps thousands of penises in my life, they have all been in a medical setting and most of them have been wrecked by disease, edema, diabetes, and cold shrinkage. I have crammed a hell of a lot of tubes into dicks, but the end result is that sounding seems incredibly unsexy to me, and that 99.999% of living penis-havers probably agree. Dildomancer is DEFINITELY the artist to consult for this one.
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Aug 26, 2016 06:11
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I dunno, humans are really into boobs, which are weird fat sacks evolved to feed babies. I think if your people have been jamming the ol' puntl into the proverbial cup o' noodle since they were picking lice under the eternal twilight, you probably think human pussy looks like Barbie crotch and wonder how humans even get off without so much as a stray pube up the dick.
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Aug 26, 2016 17:34
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I dunno, maybe clitoral tissue is integrated into the tentacle structures? I've got even less textual support for this, because JRRT was a Victorianist don and probably didn't believe in the existence of the clitoris. I mean, not that he was totally thumbing his chin and pondering the impact of rheseus-antigen immunology, but that he would probably find some (nauseated and angry) spark of sense in a mechanical barrier to elves boning each other out of wedlock, whereas the mechanisms by which female elves achieve orgasm would be sociologically irrelevant to him. I mean, if I was designing porno elf bajingae, obviously the clitoris would be the big gripping tentacle, although this might result in distressingly... prehensile shaft and glans behavior in the elven penis, since those arise from the same tissue. Eugh. It doesn't bear thinking about.
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Aug 26, 2016 20:25
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Holy poo poo I can't even tell you how excited I am about this sculpting project, I can't even bring myself to feel proper shame Dildomancer, you are truly a wizard.
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Aug 27, 2016 01:57
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I stare in horror, and in awe.
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Aug 27, 2016 05:02
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Oh my DEAR sweet Christ. How did this get from "cool roughed-out clay lump" to "work of loving art" in the course of one day I'm iffy on the acorns, I think mostly because they really do look like boobies to me, which takes the level and pedigree of perversion to a very different place than I think I can explain to all my visitors when they ask about the giant dildo on the mantelpiece. I think I was picturing something informed by the shape of acorns, but smoother and less eye-grabbing, so that the tentaclettes really stand out. Kind of like my eyes are standing out from my skull right now. The rest of it is loving blowing my mind. How in gods name did you take my drunken screed and turn it into something my more licentious friends are going to probably try to actually put in their orifices? (I will not let them. They don't have tentacles. They don't deserve this splendor.) Basically I've never seen anything like it and despite my horror I can't stop staring.
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Aug 28, 2016 07:21
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Exactly. Any attempt I make to nitpick is a little ridiculous considering that YOU CREATED THIS THING, loving LOOK AT IT
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Aug 28, 2016 07:36
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Whatever firmness will allow it to stand, proudly erect and perplexing, on my mantelpiece where visitors will HAVE to ask. If it's rock-hard, it will be less than ideal for its intended purpose in my hands, which is mostly just woobling it around and whallopping my friends with it while they wonder exactly why they're my friends. Maybe cozying it up to my husband's cheek while he's trying to sleep. I may go so horribly far as to wind some kind of labia-colored yarn around it FOR AUTHENTICITY and as a sort of crèche offering for whenever Pile of Kittens makes that shrine. I cannot possibly express to you how delighted I am with this thing. I may actually cry with joy.
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Aug 29, 2016 03:48
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Oh holy poo poo that's a major decision right there. I love the idea of fluorescence, I actually thought the ribbony texture you posted in the first post was lovely, the idea of sparkly swirls in bizarre colors is delightful, and translucence adds that certain je nais sais quoi. The only hell-naw I got is realistic skintone, because I would be unable to touch it without gloving up, for psychological reasons. Which would hamper my wooble-whallopping plans. Now, realistic but kinda translucent skintone with sparkly and/or fluorescent ribbons of eye-searing Barney the Dinosaur purple? That crosses right back into the right type of horror. White pearl with a turquoise tinge? PURE GOLD, as my husband suggests? Glow-in-the-dark Glamdring blue? I leave this decision in the hands of Dildomancer, a true artist of the craft. (I still can't wrap my head around this. WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING. I told my coworkers and Dr. Pug the intensivist insists on getting a photograph with it.) e. autocorrect does not speak even rudimentary french elise the great fucked around with this message at 23:51 on Aug 29, 2016 |
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Aug 29, 2016 23:47
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Oh my god, and it's even glowing blue
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Aug 29, 2016 23:52
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HOLY poo poo HOOOOOOOOOLY poo poo I mean oh my god, the colors are gorgeous, the sparkle alone makes this already the best thing I've ever seen... but holy poo poo, I don't know whether the anticipation is more dread or more delight.
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Aug 30, 2016 02:03
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I slept til noon and missed EVERYTHING. Dildomancer, what you've done here is legendary. I want to build that thing a permanent home in my living room, where a single spotlight will shine on it, where every guest is forced to make eye contact with it, where I wreath it in flowers for every major calendar holiday including Labor Day, FOREVER. I honestly could never have come up with anything that spectacular in a thousand years, and I am still pretty much in awe over the colors. HOW DID YOU DO THIS. You beautiful monster, you sparkledong wizard, I hope you live forever and your hobby never dies.
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Aug 30, 2016 20:51
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As I look at that thing I think to myself: soon, soon, my own hands will hold it, my own mantelpiece will cradle it, my own friends will shrivel in horror as they look upon its glory and despair. There will be a day of reckoning, sunlight spilling across the horizon like a broken yolk, the mail carrier's jeep rumbling into the sacred silence to leave its accursed burden and change the world by noon. There have been days before the Advent of the Puntl, and there will be days after, and the two calendars will seem to touch-- like pages resting against each other in a book, together in spirit but separated eternally by the binding of the spine-- but nothing will ever, ever be the same again. Holy gently caress I CANT WAIT
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Aug 31, 2016 22:34
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Dildomancer, I don't mean to alarm you, but there might be orcs near your house.
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Sep 1, 2016 01:07
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My god, it's like everything has led to this outcome. Things that go up urethras? Weird-shaped dongs? My complete inability to talk about LotR without being possessed by demons and spewing filth into the internet? THIS WAS MEANT TO BE.
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Sep 2, 2016 01:38
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I am genuinely planning out photo shoots for my new rubber buddy. I think I know a Thranduil cosplayer is all I'm saying
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Sep 3, 2016 16:21
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I honestly can the gently caress not deal with how great these are. THE BLUE GLOW. ORCS ARE AFOOT. ADICK.
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Sep 4, 2016 04:46
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Brain in a Vat posted:AMAZINGNESS Oh holy gently caress dude. This is rad, and covers my drunken writefails beautifully. I salute you, and hope your rubber puntl is as satisfactory as the joy you've given me. Also I wanna do SS too this year, if only for the dongs!
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Sep 5, 2016 04:41
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OH M Y GOD /checks the mail
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Sep 12, 2016 21:05
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I hosed up my address so the elf dick is gonna take EVEN LONGER to get to me /cries I guess it's safe from flesh purses for another week or so at least. Anyway if Steven Colbert is here somewhere, lurking quietly, I just want to apologize for my existence and ask for absolution for my gross thoughts about elves.
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Sep 13, 2016 03:45
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Got a package in the mail today... two beautiful puntls with attending fish! Raz finds its wobbling hypnotic...  Tried it out on the mantelpiece...  ...but then realized there was an even more obvious place to display it, at least until I get a nice tentacle vagina knitted for it.  Haven't had much time to charge the one that glows in the dark, but with fifteen minutes of sunlight it warned me appropriately about all the marauding orcs that live upstairs in my condo.  Real talk, these things are beautiful, the craftsmanship is splendid, the pattern on the base is just... gorgeous, and the fish are EVEN CUTER. I am so proud to be a part of this fantastic work of horror and wonder.
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Sep 22, 2016 01:52
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Well, if dead-wife permission were all that you needed to get remarried, it would be the done thing, rather than a remarkable historical event. I mean, assuming that elves in Valinor have ready access to the Halls of Mandos for at least communicative purposes. However, the transfer of immune material might diminish over time, but wouldn't be a weak thing. Consider, for instance, the immunological benefits conveyed through breast milk: antibodies that persist throughout childhood and into young adulthood, with some evidence to suggest that the child's body learns to manufacture them on its own, just from a mouthful of boob sweat. Antibody exchange is not without precedent, even persistent immune exchange. After a long period without refreshing, though, it's entirely feasible that the antibody load could be greatly diminished. And if you take interaction between the living and the dead to be largely mythical for the purposes of the Silmarillion, or symbolic, then you might interpret that remarriage to be a risk on the part of the widower, whose long-dead wife no longer contributed antibodies and whose immune response might have dulled considerably as a response. He took a chance on the new wife, and didn't die, and when people were like "yo man why didn't you go anaphylactic" he just shrugged and went, "I guess my dead wife was okay with it?" Considering that the elves didn't seem to have a decent idea what a cell was, I'm pretty comfortable ascribing a fair amount of "soul" to unknown (to them) biological processes. As for choosing how you prefer to live... I'm gonna guess that the choice is less cut-and-dried than we're allowed to see. Elrond's brother chose the mortal path and still lived for a really loving long time, long enough to literally found Numenor. Arwen, too, outlived her beloved Aragorn. Clearly nobody with elven blood was making the decision to live for eighty years vs. forever-- and certainly no humans were living for Numenorean spans before Elros made his choice. I'm pretty sure Elros's claim to fame was his ability to pop his own boner. His choice of humanity was, most likely, based on the fact that he could actually knock a human woman up-- an extraordinary accomplishment that went on to establish a dynasty that eventually challenged the Valar themselves. He didn't so much ~choose humanity~ as he chose to do his own thing for a few hundred years, building on human nations rather than the complete dog's breakfast that remained of elven culture in Beleriand. Elrond, on the other hand, whether his dick could stand for the pledge or not, ended up sticking with the elves. He married Celebrian, whose roots were complex and involved weird cross-species sex and a Valinorian warrior-princess-turned-angel-trained-enchantress, and like it or not inherited the burden of Galadriel. So Arwen, at best, was an elf with a fairly human-looking bajinga, although if she had any choice at all we can assume that she had at least enough of whatever mysterious characteristic she needed to have some potential future of fertility with a male elf. And as for souls: I think canon absolutely, unequivocally supports your stance, to the point that it's drat near on-the-nose. You don't have to bend or squint at all to make that happen. But it doesn't provide the clean, simple explanation for other sexual questions about the elves, and it also doesn't give you fuckin' tentacle vaginas, so I think you know what stance I choose.
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Sep 27, 2016 06:00
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Oh gently caress what.
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Oct 2, 2016 21:49
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