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elise the great posted:My LotR nerd glands require me to question how different elf cock is from a regular fleshtone floppy rubber dilz. DOES IT SPARKLE. VERY IMPORTANT. Like a normal dick but when erect is always perfectly tangential to the surface of the earth and when it ejaculates the jizz lands in valinor. Also this is a loving pro thread and you are a pro OP, OP.
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Aug 25, 2016 01:30
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 11:15 |
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At least now I know why you never see Gandalf wearing the ring of fire.
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Aug 25, 2016 21:03
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I'm gonna say you're at least as canon as the silmarilllion.
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Aug 26, 2016 00:55
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Beren confirmed tentacle fetishist.
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Aug 27, 2016 21:11
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I did have a brief period of wondering why the lead singer of The Police had a glowing blue dick.
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Aug 30, 2016 00:43
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I kind of want to order one of these for my girlfriend but I have no idea how I would get it delivered inconspicuously. E: or if it would make it through customs.
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Aug 30, 2016 00:57
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Given she's a big LOTR nerd and has a frankly absurd quantitiy of sex toys, I think she'd be fine with it.
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Aug 30, 2016 01:02
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I'm reminded of Ozymandias, where it goes "Whose frown and wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command tell that its sculptor well those passions read" Except in this case it's the taut ballsack and the passions are utter horror. Good job.
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Aug 31, 2016 22:14
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I'm guessing the right one was the result of the instruction "I want an ice lolly I can shove up my rear end."
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Sep 12, 2016 10:05
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Or perhaps you should not underestimate the subtle magics of the glowing elf dick.
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Sep 12, 2016 22:46
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Dildomancer posted:Tonight's haul: 
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Sep 19, 2016 17:09
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I'm not sure I'd be super keen to shove a coke can up any of my orifices.
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Oct 24, 2016 01:36
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I have a pretty large mouth and I can't fit a coke can into it. So, uh, unless she is a pelican I would hope it would be, yes. Like I'm just not sure that "is unable or unwilling to jam an elephant chode into her vag" is really a black mark against a sex toy reviewer. OwlFancier fucked around with this message at 02:03 on Oct 25, 2016 |
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Oct 25, 2016 01:58
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