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I cant let my wife know how hosed i am just from the nfl pre season
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Aug 13, 2016 02:48
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With losing you just have to keep at it because you can't lose forever, longer you lose just means your due FYI
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Aug 13, 2016 02:50
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tell her someone took your phone at gunpoint and made a bunch of lovely trades and roster decisions while forcing you to suck his dick works everytime
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Aug 13, 2016 02:51
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join a fantasy football team, you can get hosed by a close knit group of people then we might actually be able to have a legit gangbang thread in GBS
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Aug 13, 2016 02:52
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also: sever
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Aug 13, 2016 02:52
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op, go to a roulette wheel. Bet $1,000 on black. If it's red, bet $2,000 on black the next time. If it's red again, bet $4,000 on black the next time. If it's somehow red again, bet $8,000 on black the next time. Ain't no way it's going to be red more than three times in a row!! Keep doing that til you win all your money back! Nolan Arenado fucked around with this message at 02:54 on Aug 13, 2016 |
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Aug 13, 2016 02:52
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lmao the misogynist shithead thinks it would be a guy forcing you to suck his dick at gunpoint while loving up your roster lmao ok tell her it was a chick i guess fucken feministas
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Aug 13, 2016 02:53
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Last NFL playoffs every one in my office was placing bets and when they got to me I was like "Oh no thank you." but they kept pushing and insisting I join in their betting pool til I had to tell them "I don't believe in gambling" they asked if it was for a religious reason and I was just like "No, I just don't like losing money" and after that every one treated my like a social pariah for not wanting to gamble and give up my money.
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Aug 13, 2016 02:54
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roymorrison posted:lmao the misogynist shithead thinks it would be a guy forcing you to suck his dick at gunpoint while loving up your roster lmao ok tell her it was a chick i guess fucken feministas
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Aug 13, 2016 02:55
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rude sir
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Aug 13, 2016 02:55
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Best chaser for gambling losses is swallowing a bullet
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Aug 13, 2016 02:56
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double down your soft 19 against the dealers 6
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Aug 13, 2016 02:57
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bet better
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Aug 13, 2016 02:59
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Roulette is actually a game of skill. Just play it enough and you'll be a pro in no time
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Aug 13, 2016 02:58
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I won a few grand in a suicide pool last year but I didn't commit suicide after should I have
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Aug 13, 2016 03:00
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go into high rolling texas hold 'em poker, start a legend.
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Aug 13, 2016 03:00
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have you considered the exciting world of male prostitution?
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Aug 13, 2016 03:01
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OctoberBlues posted:op, go to a roulette wheel. Bet $1,000 on black. If it's red, bet $2,000 on black the next time. If it's red again, bet $4,000 on black the next time. If it's somehow red again, bet $8,000 on black the next time. *scribbles down notes in notepad, adjusts glasses*
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Aug 13, 2016 03:02
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idiotbitch posted:I cant let my wife know how hosed i am just from the nfl pre season Hock her wedding dress and jewelry.
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Aug 13, 2016 03:42
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boomers who hold up the line at the gas station buying scratch tickets with their pension money should be put in front of death panels to pled why they should be allowed to continue living
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Aug 13, 2016 03:44
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Mariana Horchata posted:boomers who hold up the line at the gas station buying scratch tickets with their pension money should be put in front of death panels to pled why they should be allowed to continue living Welp, took a while, but Windows 98 finally reveals his parachute account.
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Aug 13, 2016 03:44
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Mariana Horchata posted:boomers who hold up the line at the gas station buying scratch tickets with their pension money should be put in front of death panels to pled why they should be allowed to continue living I bet you smell awful.
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Aug 13, 2016 03:46
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Here's the trick. Don't ever, EVER stop betting. Eventually, you get slightly out of the hole. Then, you just keep going. You'll dig yourself right back into that hole,. but you got up a little before, right? So you just continue on this trend until one day you just run the odds so hard that you are starting to break even then. But also keep going until you make a profit, maybe. Also, serious advice, save all your gambling records for taxes if you have enough and they are legal and documented. You might have enough to itemize them and get a bit of help. And yes, this is for losses.
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Aug 13, 2016 04:01
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Hrist posted:Also, serious advice, save all your gambling records for taxes if you have enough and they are legal and documented. You might have enough to itemize them and get a bit of help. And yes, this is for losses. I would like to know more. for... a ... f'riend.
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Aug 13, 2016 04:03
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Um, like don't gamble unless you're prepared to lose all the money you put into it. That's kind of how it works, there's a chance you will win and the chance makes it fun. 
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Aug 13, 2016 04:05
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a few years back I made enough money at horse races in keeneland that I had to register, I don't remember the number but it was like 300 times ur bet or something. Anyway I hit like three different tris and supers and each one was more than the number. kinda sucked since I box all those bets but only the one that hits counts for getting taxed anyway I collected a shitton of loss slips the entire year from there and Churchill and wrote them all off
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Aug 13, 2016 04:07
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just keep doubling your bets DUH!!!!
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Aug 13, 2016 04:07
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Bet only prime numbers. That's how I made my first $1002527.
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Aug 13, 2016 04:15
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The Bananana posted:I would like to know more. for... a ... f'riend. I'm an accountant, so I'm being serious about all this. Sorry for the huge unfunny post! Basically, say you play slots or something at a casino or whatever. The casino legitimately has to keep a record saying '[person] has these losses from our machines.' I think casinos now have personal cards or something you have to scan at some point? Kinda like some newer arcade games that keep your unlocks and scores on individual player cards you keep. Usually the Casino can just outright print you a ticket from that information, unless they already do it when you play. Probably both happen. I've never been to a casino, honestly, so I'm not 100% on the modern standard. So anyway, the point is, now you have these tickets proving your loses, right? When you go see your accountant, or CPA, or guy your guy who we don't tell the IRS doesn't have a PTIN, you show them these, and they can then report your gambling losses to the IRS on your 1040 (this will probably change the type of 1040 you would normally have. Especially if you were single and doing EZs every year. This means nothing to 99% of people, so don't worry. It might just change the cost to prepare it for you, and might change or add some of the credits you get.) So the way this all works is basically, similar to when you take a hit on a sale of a house a relative had that died and left it to you, but medicare took half, the IRS will try to give you some help, and it might lower what you owe, or it might help with what you get back. Obviously all of this is entirely dependent on a ton of things, and every individual has very, very different results because no one's taxes can ever be simple and uniform as far as how anyone's go. Even the same person from one year to the next. Also, keep in mind I rarely work with a client that does any sort of gambling, and taxes being seasonal and me being kind of out of it at the moment, I may be forgetting a few minor details here and there, but his is about how it works in simplified terms. Hrist fucked around with this message at 04:19 on Aug 13, 2016 |
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Aug 13, 2016 04:16
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Hrist posted:I'm an accountant, so I'm being serious about all this. Sorry for the huge unfunny post! after 8 years on this godforsaken site, finally, something useful.
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Aug 13, 2016 04:19
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The Bananana posted:after 8 years on this godforsaken site, finally, something useful. Sorry for loving up the site 
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Aug 13, 2016 04:20
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Hrist posted:I'm an accountant, so I'm being serious about all this. Sorry for the huge unfunny post! idk what this guy is talking about because I didn't read but u can claim gambling losses up to your winnings and u only claim winnings if you have to because of that ratio thing
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Aug 13, 2016 04:20
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Yeah, it was basically that, but also how to prove the numbers.
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Aug 13, 2016 04:24
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Why the gently caress am I paying tax for LOSER)$
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Aug 13, 2016 06:02
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THE DOG HOUSE posted:Why the gently caress am I paying tax for LOSER)$ the IRS generally does not take kindly to people who do not pay their own taxes
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Aug 13, 2016 06:47
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To be fair, they allow extensions and stuff. I've had clients who didn't do their taxes for 3 years straight and never got a single letter. In fact, if you don't owe, the IRS couldn't give poo poo less if you file or not, and you actually get a bit more if you file for a refund later in the year. Basically people that gently caress up, gently caress up pretty bad when the IRS actually has to come after them beyond a simple audit.
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Aug 13, 2016 06:53
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Volume posted:Last NFL playoffs every one in my office was placing bets and when they got to me I was like "Oh no thank you." but they kept pushing and insisting I join in their betting pool til I had to tell them "I don't believe in gambling" they asked if it was for a religious reason and I was just like "No, I just don't like losing money" and after that every one treated my like a social pariah for not wanting to gamble and give up my money. bet the 5 dollars next time and be social you goon
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Aug 13, 2016 06:58
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jackyl posted:a few years back I made enough money at horse races in keeneland that I had to register, I don't remember the number but it was like 300 times ur bet or something. Anyway I hit like three different tris and supers and each one was more than the number. kinda sucked since I box all those bets but only the one that hits counts for getting taxed Pretty sure it is anything that pays out at greater than 600 to 1, the game itself doesn't matter, but that will get the IRS interested. If you had actually made each bet 10 times, you would have shrunk the trifecta and super pool enough that it might have paid less than 600 to 1 and in theory would not have had to give your SS#, although you would have won at least ten or so grand so they might take it anyway, in which case you would have to find a broke rear end degen who will sign for a 10 or 15 percent cut, not that I would know anything about that.
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Aug 13, 2016 07:02
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don't wear a condom
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Aug 13, 2016 08:31
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mortgage your house and put it all on the raiders, you can thank me later
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Aug 13, 2016 08:34
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