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It's a tough world out there… full of awkward first dates, bad sex and limited chances at orgasms.

 

Men now associate the dating landscape with the same risks many face going into the arctic tundra.

It's cold, uncomfortable and it’s more than likely that you'll die before getting that fire lit.

After years of bad trips and valuable packing lessons, we go in a little more prepared each time. We've learned tips, tricks and lessons that could only be experienced firsthand, quickly learning the scams, the women who are just trying to swindle you and certain places we will just never go again.



We've changed our clothes, hair and grooming styles to fit the destination, yet there's something we can't seem to change that's making the journey a treacherous hike. Something we can't hide and something we refuse to keep at home. Something we won't check at baggage claim or give up at customs.

Unfortunately, for men, niceness many times hinders our travels and keeps us from the promise land. Because, for all you bright and nice men out there, what you feel is real… nice guys are more likely to be single.

The popular saying “ignorance is bliss” doesn't exactly cover the broad spectrum of woes men feel as they sit alone Friday nights with no one to discuss Nietzsche or read lines from Proust with.

It doesn't assuage a man's pain as his parents ask where his girlfriend is and why he can't find a good woman.

The saying should be something closer to “Assholes get the girl and nice guys never feel bliss.”

But why is this? Why don't women want men with whom they can converse and who challenge them? When did the aversion to kind and nice guys become a code orange? When did everyone just want to go to the Bahamas and lie around?

In an article by “The Wire,” financial reporter, John Carney, gives one explanation for this phenomenon, deducing, “Women date less nice guys not because they want ‘men to be assholes, but rather because they want ‘someone who prioritizes their life in a way that's compatible with how you prioritize yours.’”

Basically, they want someone who isn't ever going to let his career come before making dinner and pleasing them first.

They want a man who is rear end in a top hat enough to make them a priority and, unfortunately, for all those sane, rational and nice guys out there, there's a hefty number of these men out there.

There are plenty of men who will give up their lives for women, who will refuse to challenge them, fight them and refuse to see them as their equals, but their saviors.

Then again, deciding what kind of man you are is like choosing between a rock and a hard place. If you're an rear end in a top hat, you're not taken seriously, but if you're nice guy, you’re taken too seriously. Men everywhere are flailing under this double-edged sword. A strong, rear end in a top hat male isn't desirable for his mind, and those with strong characters are seen as threatening, masculine and undesirable.

A study conducted with 121 British participants reported findings that males with high niceness in male/female relationships were seen as problematic.

Their intelligence were predicted to cause problems in the relationships. Whereas, high niceness in the female partner was not seen as problematic, but desirable.

These cultural stereotypes and gender biases are inhibiting men from being seen as equals. Rational and nice guys are being ignored and chastised for their intelligence.

Those men who teach you, show you and help you grow are being picked over, combed through and dumped for guys with shirts that show a little too much skin and sports cars.

Of course there are plenty of men out there with girlfriends who are intelligent. This is not to come at men with girlfriends, but to assuage that nagging, pestering pain all nice guys feel as women continually take them out to dinner, have a great time then decide they’re not worth the work.

First really is the worst

There's an epidemic of settling in this generation. Men everywhere are dipping far below their standards just to find women who appreciate them. They are giving up things they thought they wanted for nothing more than a simple “She's good to me.”

Where's the woman who was supposed to challenge you and understand you? Where's the man who was supposed to shock you and support you?

In an article by “The Daily Mail,” Minister of Universities David Willetts asserts, “Nice guys will have to 'marry down' by choosing partners less qualified than them – and may increasingly select women based on how supportive they might be to their careers, rather than whether they can support them sexually.”

Judging from the notion that female egos aren't deflating at the same rate at which men are increasing their education, there's an uneven scale here. men are getting nicer, but women aren't getting more supportive.

Most people like to be the better one in the relationship. Women have been taught or conditioned to believe they are superior, when a man shows a nice edge, she becomes threatened.

The number of nice men now outweighs the number of nice women, which in turn has diminished options in the dating pool. Women aren't ready to accept being second in the nice competition and this is causing men to either settle or stay single.

You forget to eat the whole cake

Intelligence breeds ambition, which breeds neglect. Neglect for love, girlfriends and years spent pursuing that MRS Degree. Neglect in college, focusing on studies rather than finding a girl and neglect at work, refusing to spend nights out at bars and clubs.

Unfortunately, for all those men who thought a woman would come later, other men capitalized on their youth, snatching up all the girlfriends and wives while they focused on building their careers.

Men went into college with an intent to come out husbands, slowly but steadily snatching up the number of available women for all those men who chose to attack their professional dreams.

This phenomenon only increases as men leave college. Becoming frustrated with their lack of love and work harder in achieving professional success to fill the void. Dr. Alex Banner of “The Huffington Post” explains that men are compensating for their unsuccessful dating careers with successful professional careers, and it's only widening the gap.

Big minds are like big balls

You may be sensitive, sweet and insecure, but your intelligence makes you threatening. You may not have muscles and a big d*ck, but women will look at you as competition.

You are intimidating and emasculating. While most nice guys aren't pompous or arrogant about it, many times women assume they are. They assume the man is going to correct them, upstage them or, God-forbid, make them feel worthless.

In an article published by “The Daily Beast,” Dr. Eileen Pollack explains, “There are all these contradictions that are propagated in our culture that make it seem like you can't be nice and sexy. I don't think most of us challenge the paradigms, we just absorb them.”

If a man seems too smart or nice, he's typecast as “non-dating material.” If he's loyal and supportive, he's viewed as challenging and overbearing.

Society has come to teach men that being kind and nice won't get you dates, but empty heads and shallow hearts.