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  • Locked thread
Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
dog

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Nick Rivers
Nov 23, 2004
Hard Workin Dog is a good dog

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GD_G-mE_o4

DOMDOM
Apr 28, 2007

Fun Shoe
Some of you, particularly those who think they have recently lost a dog to “death”, don’t really understand this. I’ve had no desire to explain, but won’t be around forever and must.

Dogs never die. They don’t know how to. They get tired, and very old, and their bones hurt. Of course they don’t die. If they did they would not want to always go for a walk, even long after their old bones say:” No, no, not a good idea. Let’s not go for a walk.” Nope, dogs always want to go for a walk. They might get one step before their aging tendons collapse them into a heap on the floor, but that’s what dogs are. They walk.

It’s not that they dislike your company. On the contrary, a walk with you is all there is. Their boss, and the cacaphonic symphony of odor that the world is. Cat poop, another dog’s mark, a rotting chicken bone ( exultation), and you. That’s what makes their world perfect, and in a perfect world death has no place.

However, dogs get very very sleepy. That’s the thing, you see. They don’t teach you that at the fancy university where they explain about quarks, gluons, and Keynesian economics. They know so much they forget that dogs never die. It’s a shame, really. Dogs have so much to offer and people just talk a lot.

When you think your dog has died, it has just fallen asleep in your heart. And by the way, it is wagging it’s tail madly, you see, and that’s why your chest hurts so much and you cry all the time. Who would not cry with a happy dog wagging its tail in their chest. Ouch! Wap wap wap wap wap, that hurts. But they only wag when they wake up. That’s when they say: “Thanks Boss! Thanks for a warm place to sleep and always next to your heart, the best place.”

When they first fall asleep, they wake up all the time, and that’s why, of course, you cry all the time. Wap, wap, wap. After a while they sleep more. (remember, a dog while is not a human while. You take your dog for walk, it’s a day full of adventure in an hour. Then you come home and it’s a week, well one of your days, but a week, really, before the dog gets another walk. No WONDER they love walks.)

Anyway, like I was saying, they fall asleep in your heart, and when they wake up, they wag their tail. After a few dog years, they sleep for longer naps, and you would too. They were a GOOD DOG all their life, and you both know it. It gets tiring being a good dog all the time, particularly when you get old and your bones hurt and you fall on your face and don’t want to go outside to pee when it is raining but do anyway, because you are a good dog. So understand, after they have been sleeping in your heart, they will sleep longer and longer.

But don’t get fooled. They are not “dead.” There’s no such thing, really. They are sleeping in your heart, and they will wake up, usually when you’re not expecting it. It’s just who they are.

I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs sleeping in their heart. You’ve missed so much. Excuse me, I have to go cry now.

Robo Reagan
Feb 12, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

DOMDOM posted:

Some of you, particularly those who think they have recently lost a dog to “death”, don’t really understand this. I’ve had no desire to explain, but won’t be around forever and must.

Dogs never die. They don’t know how to. They get tired, and very old, and their bones hurt. Of course they don’t die. If they did they would not want to always go for a walk, even long after their old bones say:” No, no, not a good idea. Let’s not go for a walk.” Nope, dogs always want to go for a walk. They might get one step before their aging tendons collapse them into a heap on the floor, but that’s what dogs are. They walk.

It’s not that they dislike your company. On the contrary, a walk with you is all there is. Their boss, and the cacaphonic symphony of odor that the world is. Cat poop, another dog’s mark, a rotting chicken bone ( exultation), and you. That’s what makes their world perfect, and in a perfect world death has no place.

However, dogs get very very sleepy. That’s the thing, you see. They don’t teach you that at the fancy university where they explain about quarks, gluons, and Keynesian economics. They know so much they forget that dogs never die. It’s a shame, really. Dogs have so much to offer and people just talk a lot.

When you think your dog has died, it has just fallen asleep in your heart. And by the way, it is wagging it’s tail madly, you see, and that’s why your chest hurts so much and you cry all the time. Who would not cry with a happy dog wagging its tail in their chest. Ouch! Wap wap wap wap wap, that hurts. But they only wag when they wake up. That’s when they say: “Thanks Boss! Thanks for a warm place to sleep and always next to your heart, the best place.”

When they first fall asleep, they wake up all the time, and that’s why, of course, you cry all the time. Wap, wap, wap. After a while they sleep more. (remember, a dog while is not a human while. You take your dog for walk, it’s a day full of adventure in an hour. Then you come home and it’s a week, well one of your days, but a week, really, before the dog gets another walk. No WONDER they love walks.)

Anyway, like I was saying, they fall asleep in your heart, and when they wake up, they wag their tail. After a few dog years, they sleep for longer naps, and you would too. They were a GOOD DOG all their life, and you both know it. It gets tiring being a good dog all the time, particularly when you get old and your bones hurt and you fall on your face and don’t want to go outside to pee when it is raining but do anyway, because you are a good dog. So understand, after they have been sleeping in your heart, they will sleep longer and longer.

But don’t get fooled. They are not “dead.” There’s no such thing, really. They are sleeping in your heart, and they will wake up, usually when you’re not expecting it. It’s just who they are.

I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs sleeping in their heart. You’ve missed so much. Excuse me, I have to go cry now.

this is incredibly gay and not like the good gay where you gently caress mens butts and suck dicks but the really bad kind of gay

erosion
Dec 21, 2002

It's true and I'm tired of pretending it isn't

DOMDOM posted:

Some of you, particularly those who think they have recently lost a dog to “death”, don’t really understand this. I’ve had no desire to explain, but won’t be around forever and must.

Dogs never die. They don’t know how to. They get tired, and very old, and their bones hurt. Of course they don’t die. If they did they would not want to always go for a walk, even long after their old bones say:” No, no, not a good idea. Let’s not go for a walk.” Nope, dogs always want to go for a walk. They might get one step before their aging tendons collapse them into a heap on the floor, but that’s what dogs are. They walk.

It’s not that they dislike your company. On the contrary, a walk with you is all there is. Their boss, and the cacaphonic symphony of odor that the world is. Cat poop, another dog’s mark, a rotting chicken bone ( exultation), and you. That’s what makes their world perfect, and in a perfect world death has no place.

However, dogs get very very sleepy. That’s the thing, you see. They don’t teach you that at the fancy university where they explain about quarks, gluons, and Keynesian economics. They know so much they forget that dogs never die. It’s a shame, really. Dogs have so much to offer and people just talk a lot.

When you think your dog has died, it has just fallen asleep in your heart. And by the way, it is wagging it’s tail madly, you see, and that’s why your chest hurts so much and you cry all the time. Who would not cry with a happy dog wagging its tail in their chest. Ouch! Wap wap wap wap wap, that hurts. But they only wag when they wake up. That’s when they say: “Thanks Boss! Thanks for a warm place to sleep and always next to your heart, the best place.”

When they first fall asleep, they wake up all the time, and that’s why, of course, you cry all the time. Wap, wap, wap. After a while they sleep more. (remember, a dog while is not a human while. You take your dog for walk, it’s a day full of adventure in an hour. Then you come home and it’s a week, well one of your days, but a week, really, before the dog gets another walk. No WONDER they love walks.)

Anyway, like I was saying, they fall asleep in your heart, and when they wake up, they wag their tail. After a few dog years, they sleep for longer naps, and you would too. They were a GOOD DOG all their life, and you both know it. It gets tiring being a good dog all the time, particularly when you get old and your bones hurt and you fall on your face and don’t want to go outside to pee when it is raining but do anyway, because you are a good dog. So understand, after they have been sleeping in your heart, they will sleep longer and longer.

But don’t get fooled. They are not “dead.” There’s no such thing, really. They are sleeping in your heart, and they will wake up, usually when you’re not expecting it. It’s just who they are.

I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs sleeping in their heart. You’ve missed so much. Excuse me, I have to go cry now.

what

r u ready to WALK
Sep 29, 2001

Dogs die and this is a bad thing that happens

Instead of writing gay feelgood poetry you should focus all your efforts on life extending genetics research, I don't give a poo poo about making humans live past 100 I just want my dog to reach 80 so we can be buried together

Lastgirl
Sep 7, 1997


Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!
if a dog lives to be 80

he is 570 years old in dog years

drat son thats some yoda poo poo

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
A dog could live a thousand years and it would never feel a shred of existential dread that is the root of why humans are sometimes jealous of dogs.

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
I also think this thread is severely lacking in pictures, gifs, and videos of adorable dogs which can only be the indicators of which breed is best. Please bring those on.

Garcin
Jun 15, 2000

Dreddout posted:

Much motherfucking greyhound love! :woop:

Thanks for your reply on greyhound love.

After mine passed, I sincerely thought I could never have a companion animal again.

I now have a lab and a really genetically challenged mutt that was a stray who was caught-for-rescue by a real-life crackwhore. She went to a humane society thrift store to turn it in. My niece happened to work there(she now runs a kill-list animal shelter), and she called me to hold him until he could be processed when the humane society was open.

He was starved, obviously abused, and was approaching death. But he was fawn-colored like one of my previous greys, and has these crazy eyes you can stare into forever. And now he has a forever home. A zero-dollar dog is the best friend of my more-than-one-dollar championship lineage gun-dog lab.

I hate to marginalize my greys, as they were the best companions ever. But I am a big fan of selecting a good breeder for an amazing dog, and rescuing one from the kill-list.

Tiberius Thyben
Feb 7, 2013

Gone Phishing


Seizure Robot posted:

I would give this dog so much love he would start to worry I was about to go all Morally Inept on him. I wouldn't though it would be strictly platonic. My last dog was a long haired dachshund + some sort of big dog, we were guessing german shepard, and she looked really goofy but in almost the complete opposite way this one does and I loved her to death. Thanks for reminding me she died of cancer rear end in a top hat

I'm glad your dog is dead.

One down, the rest to go.

whalesteak
May 6, 2013

Best dog :3



Cuckoo posted:

I know small dogs are usually yappy footballs but out of all of them, I found Papillions are great.

I was at the vet's this weekend and the guy sitting next to me had a pomeranian that just stood on his knee and peeped all the other dogs coming and going. He was the chillest tiny dog I've ever seen, and I would get one like that if my dog could resist the temptation to eat it.

whalesteak
May 6, 2013

ethanol posted:

also this too



Very good dog with lots of advanced training. First place.

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

cheerfullydrab posted:

A dog could live a thousand years and it would never feel a shred of existential dread that is the root of why humans are sometimes jealous of dogs.

This is big part of why dorks hate pugs

"look something as weird looking and fat and grody as me and yet it has no self loathing and is cool with loving a stuffed otter instead of a real live willing butt and is free in all the ways I shall never be. what a terrible fuckin thing amirite??"

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


Pet Island is bad for you

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




Quantum Finger posted:

duh, of course border collies are like people, why do you think they're so loving mental? every single border collie's eyes scream "HELP I'M A HUMAN TRAPPED IN A DOG'S BODY"

So you're saying we should work on adapting a videogame controller to work with paws, and then all the border collies can happily sit in the basement playing vidya games all day?

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


Humanizing dogs is mentally ill

Garcin
Jun 15, 2000

hemophilia posted:

Humanizing dogs is mentally ill

Dogs can't make love, they can only gently caress.

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


Dogs smell loving terrible and dont eat vegetables but thay doesnt mean your pupper is more than superficially like you secretly except he's got a good sense of smell that you dont have obviously

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.
I'm pretty sure not fuckin loving dogs as your bff/"homie" and askibg them who is the good boy is the true mental illness.

But humanizing pupps? That's mental chillness

r u ready to WALK
Sep 29, 2001

If your dog stinks you're doing something wrong, a well kept dog smells wonderful

Garcin
Jun 15, 2000
Those baby wipes are for you, not your dog. What the gently caress.

BexGu
Jan 9, 2004

This fucking day....

thylacine posted:



Was about to, they are chill as hell unless you're a baby rabbit, then down the hatch you go. And they take up 75% of the bed somehow.

Basset Hounds are like the frat bros of the dog world. They love to hang out, party, eat and drink and if nothing is going on will go sleep in the corner for 16 hours straight instead of chewing up the place.

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


error1 posted:

If your dog stinks you're doing something wrong, a well kept dog smells wonderful

Some dogs smell. It's just a thing. My last dog died in 2009 but from 1993 until that moment she had to be bathed every couple of days and still smelled terribly.

I also haven't shared a house with a dog since, so I can smell other people's dogs and even the non smelly breeds still smell like dogs and the more insane the dog owner the more heinous the house smells too.

crazy dog people are just like crazy cat people except worse.

Mons Hubris
Aug 29, 2004

fanci flup :)


My inlaws have a fat Yorkie that we have to keep sometimes when they go out of town.

He's cute but they never really trained him and he can be a real rear end in a top hat.

steinrokkan
Apr 2, 2011



Soiled Meat

hemophilia posted:

Some dogs smell. It's just a thing. My last dog died in 2009 but from 1993 until that moment she had to be bathed every couple of days and still smelled terribly.

I also haven't shared a house with a dog since, so I can smell other people's dogs and even the non smelly breeds still smell like dogs and the more insane the dog owner the more heinous the house smells too.

crazy dog people are just like crazy cat people except worse.

actually it's you

who is worse

Brand New Malaysian Wife
Apr 5, 2007
I encourage children who are bullied to kill themselves. In fact, I get off to it. Pedophilia-snuff films are the best. More abused children need to kill themselves.
Where's the love for Leonbergers?



This is Teddy, a 70kg Leonberger. When I took him for a walk at the weekend he stuck his big goofy head into a little girl's stroller and licked her face and she freaked out and started crying which caused myself and her family to laugh. Teddy rules.

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





The right answer is always shepherd. Australian Shepherds are dope, and they don't even come from Australia so you don't have to worry that they are full of spiders



e: *having an aussie requires you to not be a garbo human who doesn't go outside.

Beet Wagon fucked around with this message at 16:23 on Aug 15, 2016

Strep Vote
May 5, 2004

أنا أحب حليب الشوكولاتة

GiantAmazonianOtter posted:

Where's the love for Leonbergers?



This is Teddy, a 70kg Leonberger. When I took him for a walk at the weekend he stuck his big goofy head into a little girl's stroller and licked her face and she freaked out and started crying which caused myself and her family to laugh. Teddy rules.

A leonberger is an acceptable substitute for the best dog ever the Great Pyrenees

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvzxTNI6v9o

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.
Some lady put out a coffee table book that is pictures of dogs at a young age and an old age. Some dogs look exactly the same, some age terribly. Here are a few pictures from it.

https://brightside.me/article/how-dogs-get-older-a-fascinating-and-deeply-touching-photography-project-11005/

Maddy at age 5 and age 10:

Teriyaki Hairpiece
Dec 29, 2006

I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

Quantum Finger posted:

A leonberger is an acceptable substitute for the best dog ever the Great Pyrenees

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvzxTNI6v9o

I'll see you and raise you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_kI2So3Tlg

Flaccid Trip
Apr 29, 2008

Get an old dog because puppies suck.


Get an old Greyhound. Chill, pointy couch potatoes.

hemale in pain
Jun 5, 2010




DOMDOM posted:

Some of you, particularly those who think they have recently lost a dog to “death”, don’t really understand this. I’ve had no desire to explain, but won’t be around forever and must.

Dogs never die. They don’t know how to. They get tired, and very old, and their bones hurt. Of course they don’t die. If they did they would not want to always go for a walk, even long after their old bones say:” No, no, not a good idea. Let’s not go for a walk.” Nope, dogs always want to go for a walk. They might get one step before their aging tendons collapse them into a heap on the floor, but that’s what dogs are. They walk.

It’s not that they dislike your company. On the contrary, a walk with you is all there is. Their boss, and the cacaphonic symphony of odor that the world is. Cat poop, another dog’s mark, a rotting chicken bone ( exultation), and you. That’s what makes their world perfect, and in a perfect world death has no place.

However, dogs get very very sleepy. That’s the thing, you see. They don’t teach you that at the fancy university where they explain about quarks, gluons, and Keynesian economics. They know so much they forget that dogs never die. It’s a shame, really. Dogs have so much to offer and people just talk a lot.

When you think your dog has died, it has just fallen asleep in your heart. And by the way, it is wagging it’s tail madly, you see, and that’s why your chest hurts so much and you cry all the time. Who would not cry with a happy dog wagging its tail in their chest. Ouch! Wap wap wap wap wap, that hurts. But they only wag when they wake up. That’s when they say: “Thanks Boss! Thanks for a warm place to sleep and always next to your heart, the best place.”

When they first fall asleep, they wake up all the time, and that’s why, of course, you cry all the time. Wap, wap, wap. After a while they sleep more. (remember, a dog while is not a human while. You take your dog for walk, it’s a day full of adventure in an hour. Then you come home and it’s a week, well one of your days, but a week, really, before the dog gets another walk. No WONDER they love walks.)

Anyway, like I was saying, they fall asleep in your heart, and when they wake up, they wag their tail. After a few dog years, they sleep for longer naps, and you would too. They were a GOOD DOG all their life, and you both know it. It gets tiring being a good dog all the time, particularly when you get old and your bones hurt and you fall on your face and don’t want to go outside to pee when it is raining but do anyway, because you are a good dog. So understand, after they have been sleeping in your heart, they will sleep longer and longer.

But don’t get fooled. They are not “dead.” There’s no such thing, really. They are sleeping in your heart, and they will wake up, usually when you’re not expecting it. It’s just who they are.

I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs sleeping in their heart. You’ve missed so much. Excuse me, I have to go cry now.

where the gently caress did you copy+paste this from

MG3
Mar 29, 2016

hemale in pain posted:

where the gently caress did you copy+paste this from

From your dads vagina

get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007

this boxer is getting some culture

RFC2324
Jun 7, 2012

http 418

Quantum Finger posted:

A leonberger is an acceptable substitute for the best dog ever the Great Pyrenees

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvzxTNI6v9o

The best opinion right here.

unpleasantly turgid
Jul 6, 2016

u lightweights couldn't even feed my shadow ;*
Samoyeds and Setters are very good dogs :)

DOMDOM
Apr 28, 2007

Fun Shoe

hemale in pain posted:

where the gently caress did you copy+paste this from
all garbage flows from reddit friend

content
my rescue mutt as a pupper:

big time bisexual
Oct 16, 2002

Cool Party

GiantAmazonianOtter posted:

Where's the love for Leonbergers?



This is Teddy, a 70kg Leonberger. When I took him for a walk at the weekend he stuck his big goofy head into a little girl's stroller and licked her face and she freaked out and started crying which caused myself and her family to laugh. Teddy rules.

leonbergers have a good hellhound look



but they're also cute as puppers

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a life less
Jul 12, 2009

We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane.

My dog makes more money than I do.



Herder superiority.

(Full video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axQhpQWzfIM)

  • Locked thread