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psychokitty posted:work hard all day lol gently caress off
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Aug 18, 2016 16:50
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never ever do paperwork properly if you dont have to or if someone else will correct it for you
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Aug 18, 2016 16:51
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Chinatown posted:lol gently caress off 
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Aug 18, 2016 16:52
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its really easy to steal things from work
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Aug 18, 2016 16:53
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Take naps in the bathroom (this works better if it is clean and the dividers go all the way to the wall). Take naps at your desk when your coworkers leave the room for any extended period. Literally sleep on the job is what I'm saying.
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Aug 18, 2016 16:59
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H.H posted:Take naps in the bathroom (this works better if it is clean and the dividers go all the way to the wall).
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Aug 18, 2016 17:01
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impress your boss early and make them like you so that they let you get away with p much anything
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Aug 18, 2016 17:01
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Let's see. Issuing out company phones locked down with TRACKING software to see if people are loving off, at home when they are supposed to be onsite, or sleeping in the restroom. Sick workhacks indeed.
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Aug 18, 2016 17:02
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never fart in your own office. always go in the hallway to fart.
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Aug 18, 2016 17:03
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or fart out of a window if you have one
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Aug 18, 2016 17:03
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CANNIBAL GIRLS posted:never fart in your own office. always go in the hallway to fart. Wish I had heard of this one years ago!
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Aug 18, 2016 17:05
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Constantly fart in and around your office.
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Aug 18, 2016 17:07
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get born to rich family laff at the plebes
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Aug 18, 2016 17:07
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Robot Pride posted:get born to rich family All *-hacks inherit from this one master lifehack
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Aug 18, 2016 17:08
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type iddqd in console thank me later
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Aug 18, 2016 17:12
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dogmother1776 posted:Constantly fart in and around your office. yep then no one will come in it and ask for you to do things
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Aug 18, 2016 17:13
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If you finish your tasks early, offer to help others with theirs.
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Aug 18, 2016 17:15
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Whenever you feel the slightest tingle in your genitalia, go to the bathroom and masturbate. Just make sure you find the one single-occupancy bathroom with a lockable door. If you get issued a company phone stream everything you can off of it and not your personal phone. If your company is large enough no one important will notice that you've launched past their data plan until long after you've moved on to another job. If you can find a spot to take an afternoon cat nap without getting caught, do it. That way your evening feels like a brand new day and all that boring bullshit feels like it was yesterday. Make friends with people in other departments so that if you have to bail out of your current one you're covered.
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Aug 18, 2016 17:16
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Dont have a job and live off of the government which idiots that have a job fund
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Aug 18, 2016 17:16
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im working on my bicycle this afternoon doing courier stuff so a good hack is that rules of the road simply do not apply to me like one way streets LOL?! and stop signs??? haha dont make me laugh.
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Aug 18, 2016 17:18
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numberoneposter posted:im working on my bicycle this afternoon doing courier stuff so a good hack is that rules of the road simply do not apply to me like one way streets LOL?! and stop signs??? haha dont make me laugh. If you get hit you can sue and also get disability and never worry about work.
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Aug 18, 2016 17:19
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idiotbitch posted:If you get hit you can sue and also get disability and never worry about work.
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Aug 18, 2016 17:20
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steal peoples lunches from the fridge and eat for free every day
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Aug 18, 2016 17:22
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When people knock on your door welcome them in by saying "welcome to the stink chamber!"
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Aug 18, 2016 17:23
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If you work in an office you never need to own a personal printer again.
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Aug 18, 2016 17:24
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idiotbitch posted:If you work in an office you never need to own a personal printer again. 
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Aug 18, 2016 17:25
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"work from home" on days when you don't have any work to do, so that way you don't have to show up to work, and also don't have to use any of your PTO time
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Aug 18, 2016 17:26
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idiotbitch posted:If you work in an office you never need to own a personal printer again.
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Aug 18, 2016 17:26
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JakeP posted:"work from home" on days when you don't have any work to do, so that way you don't have to show up to work, and also don't have to use any of your PTO time This but for hangovers
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Aug 18, 2016 17:28
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The upper management folks seem to be really impressed with my work but I'm not doing any work  serious post
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Aug 18, 2016 17:39
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OctoberBlues posted:The upper management folks seem to be really impressed with my work but I'm not doing any work You're being primed to be the office cocksucker
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Aug 18, 2016 17:45
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idiotbitch posted:You're being primed to be the office cocksucker it's called 'grooming' don't you know these things???
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Aug 18, 2016 17:48
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OctoberBlues posted:The upper management folks seem to be really impressed with my work but I'm not doing any work are you a female that wears sexy clothing to work?
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Aug 18, 2016 17:53
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Robot Pride posted:are you a female that wears sexy clothing to work? I am male that "works" from home in his pajamas.
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Aug 18, 2016 17:54
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And my pajama shirt has a pizza stain on it!
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Aug 18, 2016 17:56
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idiotbitch posted:This but for hangovers yo bro quit moddin' on my workhack
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Aug 18, 2016 17:57
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Get a job with a government contractor - you'll have 7 hours a day to play on your phone and can bill all kinds of bullshit to the account. Only three days a month of actual work (unless you're management and have to deal with bureaucracy).
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Aug 18, 2016 17:59
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R-Type posted:Let's see. Issuing out company phones locked down with TRACKING software to see if people are loving off, at home when they are supposed to be onsite, or sleeping in the restroom. Sick workhacks indeed. I actually just created a tracking software lol. They have to check in at every customer and it logs GPS coordinates as well as time. But that's what happens when you gently caress off all day er day and the company loses $10,000,000 in revenue. My work hack is work from home and work late when needed because then when you want to gently caress off sometimes you can and no one cares.
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Aug 18, 2016 18:00
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Get hired by one of your closest friends and laugh all day.
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Aug 18, 2016 18:05
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If you work at a trendy start-up with a ball pit, games room or bar, make sure you never so much as enter one of these rooms in case your boss or co-workers see you and think you're goofing off. Instead, take 3 hour-long poo breaks with your smart phone per day to show for diligence.
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Aug 18, 2016 18:08
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