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Goobish
May 31, 2011

zimboe posted:

Serious post:
I am sixty years old, my lust is gone, my muscles are thready and weak. I am very depressed emotionally, I seem to feel and fear my end time is near.
I have personal testimony from people that tell me testosterone is a miracle drug.
I think Testosterone therapy would improve my mood and strength, but the bastard docs won't give it to me, seemingly from some moral viewpoint.
Whatta I gotta do, start buying dangerous weight-lifting analog steroid drugs over the Net?
...
I need a good clean connection.

I really wouldn't know an answer to this since the process for transmen getting the prescription is probably a lot different.

But I did have to prove that my crazies were under control first, so maybe they worry about your depression? T can aggravate mental illnesses, supposedly. I have not had that issue but I've also been in therapy for years. I've heard of T alleviating depression for cis men and women too, so I'm not sure what it takes to find a doctor willing to try that. I don't get why they would think it's "morally" wrong unless maybe you have underlying health issues making it dangerous. How many doctors have you asked about it so far?

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Bulgogi Hoagie
Jun 1, 2012

We

Zzulu posted:

Yes, buy the dangerous weightlifting drugs. You got what, 10 years left to live?

But you could be this guy for those last ten years

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKJaZDGVNWA

pro click

Robot Pride
Aug 2, 2010

by exmarx

zimboe posted:

Serious post:
I am sixty years old, my lust is gone, my muscles are thready and weak. I am very depressed emotionally, I seem to feel and fear my end time is near.
I have personal testimony from people that tell me testosterone is a miracle drug.
I think Testosterone therapy would improve my mood and strength, but the bastard docs won't give it to me, seemingly from some moral viewpoint.
Whatta I gotta do, start buying dangerous weight-lifting analog steroid drugs over the Net?
...
I need a good clean connection.
E:
My heart is broken at this, I am slowly drinking myself to death, and that is a shameful and pathetic way to die.
Please, help me.

have you tried real drugs? you're one foot in the grave as it is so you are in the enviable position of not having to worry about the future destruction of your physical and financial status from a hardcore drug adduction

alcohol abuse alone is just shameful...it's like getting fat on appetizers without ever sitting down to a real meal

nigga crab pollock
Mar 26, 2010

by Lowtax
im glad i grew out of being a testosterone fueled sex blinded idiot as a teenager so i honestly dont know what the gently caress u people are talking about

aslo my grandpa is like 75 and can bench more than i can (he is a literal blacksmith tho and i am a goon) so like idk dude maybe just exercise

Goobish
May 31, 2011

Experiencing a higher sex drive with a fully developed (altho perhaps slightly damaged) frontal cortex probably isn't as terrible as not having that advantage. That's not to say I don't make awesomely bad decisions after growing a dick, though. I don't mind feeling like a 16 year old boy at the moment. Especially after being a lethargic sadsack of a woman for decades.

8-Bit Scholar
Jan 23, 2016

by FactsAreUseless
My sex drive is about ten minutes, if I don't hit any green lights on the way.

Bulgogi Hoagie
Jun 1, 2012

We

8-Bit Scholar posted:

My sex drive is about ten minutes, if I don't hit any green lights on the way.

explains your weird affinity for Hillary then doesn't it

Salty Josh
Jul 13, 2016

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.
Nap Ghost

Goobish posted:

Experiencing a higher sex drive with a fully developed (altho perhaps slightly damaged) frontal cortex probably isn't as terrible as not having that advantage. That's not to say I don't make awesomely bad decisions after growing a dick, though. I don't mind feeling like a 16 year old boy at the moment. Especially after being a lethargic sadsack of a woman for decades.

May your dick grow to enormous proportions and your seed spread far and wide.

FormerPoster
Aug 5, 2004

Hair Elf

Zzulu posted:

Maybe in your country but here it is fairly rare as you need to take tests and prove that your balls are messed up to get anything :(

Print out your somethingawful.com post history and show it to them. Once they see you post in GBS, they'll know your balls are ruined beyond what conventional therapy can repair.

8-Bit Scholar
Jan 23, 2016

by FactsAreUseless

Naerasa posted:

Print out your somethingawful.com post history

Does Kinkos offer this service or do I gotta DIY?

Dinosaurmageddon
Jul 7, 2007

by zen death robot
Hell Gem

a hole-y ghost posted:

Tonetta's not creepy 😢
I thought OP's birth-name was Tony... :shrug:

Turns out the other Tonneta's got some sweet moves, a guitar, and a love for drugs and pizza:
https://youtu.be/4MD4BPAp4jo

Utterly Irrelephant
Sep 6, 2007
ive got a rocket in my pocket
I'm also tran. Waddup op? Would you date another tran grrl?

Cnut the Great
Mar 30, 2014

BeanBandit posted:

don't ever talk to me again in your entire life, you unfunny idiot. :)

hi

Tonetta
Jul 9, 2013

look mother look at ME MOTHER MOTHER I AM A HOMESTIXK NOW

**methodically removes and eats own clothes*

Egorger Le Chef posted:

I'm also tran. Waddup op? Would you date another tran grrl?

That's my preference really. Are you batshit inaane or na

Three-Phase
Aug 5, 2006

by zen death robot

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

I thought OP's birth-name was Tony... :shrug:

Turns out the other Tonneta's got some sweet moves, a guitar, and a love for drugs and pizza:
https://youtu.be/4MD4BPAp4jo

This is computetly unrelated and off-topic, but how long can a person go without sleeping before they sort of... You know, die?

SIDS Vicious
Jan 1, 1970


Three-Phase posted:

This is computetly unrelated and off-topic, but how long can a person go without sleeping before they die?

a long long time but don't do it

Salty Josh
Jul 13, 2016

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.
Nap Ghost
I thought it was something like two weeks. After the first week you start to lose your marbles I think.

Three-Phase
Aug 5, 2006

by zen death robot
I'll talk to my doctor about it. Maybe some Ambien would help.

they're there when I close my eyes!!!

Utterly Irrelephant
Sep 6, 2007
ive got a rocket in my pocket

Tonetta posted:

That's my preference really. Are you batshit inaane or na

I think I'm probably the normal everyday amount of crazy. I've held down a job, have a few friends, but college was a bit much... I'll go back before too long. Living in rural GA is lovely sometimes tho.

afeelgoodpoop
Oct 14, 2014

by FactsAreUseless
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dh1FZMGCTPk

Goobish
May 31, 2011

This is how we do it

https://youtu.be/bDRriMg8Aj0

Tonetta
Jul 9, 2013

look mother look at ME MOTHER MOTHER I AM A HOMESTIXK NOW

**methodically removes and eats own clothes*

Egorger Le Chef posted:

I think I'm probably the normal everyday amount of crazy. I've held down a job, have a few friends, but college was a bit much... I'll go back before too long. Living in rural GA is lovely sometimes tho.

You check out. Ga sucks rear end tbh I feel sorry for you

Tonetta fucked around with this message at 06:15 on Aug 22, 2016

Dinosaurmageddon
Jul 7, 2007

by zen death robot
Hell Gem
Tonetta you mentioned near the start of this thread a friend of yours dying recently- I believe 'murdered to death' are the words you used...

Was that friend of yours also a member of the trans community, by chance? -And how is that situation holding up, if you don't mind? I imagine there's a lot there to handle, emotionally, if not just numbness and shock.

Tonetta
Jul 9, 2013

look mother look at ME MOTHER MOTHER I AM A HOMESTIXK NOW

**methodically removes and eats own clothes*

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

Tonetta you mentioned near the start of this thread a friend of yours dying recently- I believe 'murdered to death' are the words you used...

Was that friend of yours also a member of the trans community, by chance? -And how is that situation holding up, if you don't mind? I imagine there's a lot there to handle, emotionally, if not just numbness and shock.

She was trans. She died due to the lovely position life handed her because she was trans, and is more or less the prompt for this thread.

I didn't handle it that well initially, but these things are unfortunately a fact of life, and is moot to dell on.

zimboe
Aug 3, 2012

FIRST EBOLA GOON AVOID ALL POSTS SPEWING EBLOA SHIT POSTS EVERWHERE
I'm literally retarded

Goobish posted:

I really wouldn't know an answer to this since the process for transmen getting the prescription is probably a lot different.

But I did have to prove that my crazies were under control first, so maybe they worry about your depression? T can aggravate mental illnesses, supposedly. I have not had that issue but I've also been in therapy for years. I've heard of T alleviating depression for cis men and women too, so I'm not sure what it takes to find a doctor willing to try that. I don't get why they would think it's "morally" wrong unless maybe you have underlying health issues making it dangerous. How many doctors have you asked about it so far?

I have had major depression lifelong, which I compensate for with vile,cynical black humour.
There's your explanation for Zimboe. Not insane, just bitter...

I take Effexor 37.5 mg 2x a day. One of the reasons I am interested in testosterone is that it may help relieve the depression. Yes, I am aware of the Prozac Trap of Doom.
And part of the depression is mourning my dead dick. I can't even jerk off anymore and that's just unfair for an old man.
...
I seem to have every hair I ever had though, not even thinning, though it's bone white. that's a sign of low T right there. I should have lost some hair by now.

I am in China and injectable steroids are unlawful. There is a testosterone ointment I have heard of, maybe that's the way to go. Anyone got data on that ointment?

There's so much fraud: by my research there's no such animal as oral testosterone as it is at once digested, yet many pills online and in the shops.
The herbal Viagra, though, is a demon.
...
I got Type 2 Diabeetus too, well controlled, some retinal damage, moderately hosed kidneys but still OK. Liver's getting iffy from the cheap Chinese hooch.
Sugar is a toxin- gently caress the Coca-Cola Corporation in both ears.

I figure MTBF for old Zimboe is about five years.
...
e:
Think of it as a gender change from Eunuch to Cis. Hey, maybe a doc would fall for that, tolerance and all.
It's just silly enough to work.

zimboe
Aug 3, 2012

FIRST EBOLA GOON AVOID ALL POSTS SPEWING EBLOA SHIT POSTS EVERWHERE
I'm literally retarded

Three-Phase posted:

I'll talk to my doctor about it. Maybe some Ambien would help.

they're there when I close my eyes!!!

Watch out for Ambien.
It has a curiously sneaky, even treacherous aspect. Take it before bedtime and DON'T leave the house afterwards.

Or you might wake up in Mexico City, watching the bullfights, trashed on Bennies and Mexican cough syrup and no idea how you got there.
...
Word.
e:
Though as advertised, it will make you sleep like a baby.
A stoned baby.
...
Stoned Babies, saw 'em open for Dead Kennedys in '79.

concept stolen from Dave Barry.

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

(▰˘v˘▰)
No ointments man, no pills

syringe in the thigh dog, high grade testosterone everything else is a half measure or worse for yuou

quote:

oral steroids
There are oral steroids and they do work, but they wreck your liver so don't take them

Dinosaurmageddon
Jul 7, 2007

by zen death robot
Hell Gem

Tonetta posted:

She was trans. She died due to the lovely position life handed her because she was trans, and is more or less the prompt for this thread.

I didn't handle it that well initially, but these things are unfortunately a fact of life, and is moot to dell on.

I'm glad you made the thread, OP, regardless. You do realize that in posting this thread when you did makes you a bit of a masochist, then, don't you? I mean unfortunately I think that comes with part of the territory of transitioning, so at the very least I'd like to commend you on your perseverance in dealing with all that horrible real life poo poo while also fielding retarded questions from GBS poking and prodding at your more sensitive areas.

That being said I wish you many exciting and satisfying orgasms and many exciting and satisfying relationships (including the one with yourself!). Namaste :cosmic2day:

mailorder bees
Nov 4, 2011

FLUFFERNUTTER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccgkxP-4tVE

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

I thought OP's birth-name was Tony... :shrug:

Turns out the other Tonneta's got some sweet moves, a guitar, and a love for drugs and pizza:
https://youtu.be/4MD4BPAp4jo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgn7Xyur258

Dinosaurmageddon
Jul 7, 2007

by zen death robot
Hell Gem

:cheerdoge:

mailorder bees
Nov 4, 2011

FLUFFERNUTTER

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccgkxP-4tVE

Dinosaurmageddon
Jul 7, 2007

by zen death robot
Hell Gem

I'm the tip at 1:03

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

I'm the tip at 1:03
Seeing is believing :grin:

Goobish
May 31, 2011

Zzulu posted:

No ointments man, no pills

syringe in the thigh dog, high grade testosterone everything else is a half measure or worse for yuou

There are oral steroids and they do work, but they wreck your liver so don't take them

I hear testosterone ointment is good for people who want to maintain a more steady level of T in their system. The shots can cause a bit of a "T dip" sometimes. And, In the US at least, it's more expensive and harder to get insurance to cover the ointment. But I prefer the good ole needle in the butt method myself. Haven't had too bad of an issue, but I can definitely feel a dip in levels a few days before a shot. Nothing too crazy. Just can't wait to get that next shot of man juice in my butt

Tonetta
Jul 9, 2013

look mother look at ME MOTHER MOTHER I AM A HOMESTIXK NOW

**methodically removes and eats own clothes*

Dinosaurmageddon posted:

I'm glad you made the thread, OP, regardless. You do realize that in posting this thread when you did makes you a bit of a masochist, then, don't you? I mean unfortunately I think that comes with part of the territory of transitioning, so at the very least I'd like to commend you on your perseverance in dealing with all that horrible real life poo poo while also fielding retarded questions from GBS poking and prodding at your more sensitive areas.

That being said I wish you many exciting and satisfying orgasms and many exciting and satisfying relationships (including the one with yourself!). Namaste :cosmic2day:

It would only make me a masochist if I actually gave a poo poo about what people have to say about me, on the internet

zimboe
Aug 3, 2012

FIRST EBOLA GOON AVOID ALL POSTS SPEWING EBLOA SHIT POSTS EVERWHERE
I'm literally retarded

Zzulu posted:

No ointments man, no pills

syringe in the thigh dog, high grade testosterone everything else is a half measure or worse for yuou

There are oral steroids and they do work, but they wreck your liver so don't take them

Thank you Good Goonsir, that is exactly the kind of safety data I need. My liver is stressed enough from the Jiu.

So I gotta find a Tranny Doc and tell 'em I wanna transition from Unwilling Eunuch to Cis.
...
Any referrals from you tranny persons?
I can make a quick run to San Francisco from China, no problem
And the food in SF is world class. Yeah, it is.
...
I got all the syringes I need from the Diabeetus.

zimboe
Aug 3, 2012

FIRST EBOLA GOON AVOID ALL POSTS SPEWING EBLOA SHIT POSTS EVERWHERE
I'm literally retarded
MY DEAD DICK WAS TURNED INTO A MEME BY IDIOTS
sooner or later.

Bulgogi Hoagie
Jun 1, 2012

We
why is this thread still corrupting the moral fabric of society

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Three-Phase
Aug 5, 2006

by zen death robot
Can the mods/admins please embed the audio from "Drugs Drugs Drugs" into every single thread in TCC? TIA.

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