i bought no mans sky, and it is the worst decision i''ve ever made

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > i bought no mans sky, and it is the worst decision i''ve ever made

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Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

DOMDOM posted:

look at me i like mindless loot grind games with stolen art inspiration, lovely writing, and derivative mechanics

but diablo is so popular...

# ? Aug 30, 2016 22:55

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# ? May 6, 2024 15:59

wane tendo: Mar 19, 2005; Buglord

code:

ENDING
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The player flies into the light at the center of the galaxy until they pop out into a dimly lit pool of water,
slow pan over a wet hole & ballsack  (loud sucking noise as they get flushed back to the beginning.)

# ? Aug 31, 2016 00:59

Instruction Manuel: May 15, 2007; Yes, it is what it looks like!

carrion kit posted:

code:

ENDING
------

The player flies into the light at the center of the galaxy until they pop out into a dimly lit pool of water,
slow pan over a wet hole & ballsack  (loud sucking noise as they get flushed back to the beginning.)

drat. I would have bought the game if this happened instead.

# ? Aug 31, 2016 01:05

Uncle Wemus: Mar 4, 2004

Game sites are circling the wagons and wondering why people dont like it

# ? Aug 31, 2016 01:10

WhyteRyce: Dec 30, 2001

Uncle Wemus posted:

Game sites are circling the wagons and wondering why people dont like it

Didn't they do this for ME3, circle the wagons and take "games are art!" positions?

# ? Aug 31, 2016 01:20

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

CaptainSarcastic posted:

Considering you have such strong opinions on videogames I am sure you are a stable and well-rounded individual.

i too look to pad my days with fluff filler to occupy the hours until such time that I pass this gentle world for the next

# ? Aug 31, 2016 01:28

Uncle Wemus: Mar 4, 2004

WhyteRyce posted:

Didn't they do this for ME3, circle the wagons and take "games are art!" positions?

Yeah

When the hype train crashes at launch its a good idea to attack the customers who were ket down

# ? Aug 31, 2016 01:30

I AM THE TOILET: Jul 11, 2016

Game journos are complete bitches to devs and publishers which is why you'll never see polygon or kotaku or even giant bomb put these motherfuckers on blast because if they hurt EA's or Nintendo's feelings they'll miss out on scoops and previews and reviews, which means no traffic which means no ad revenue which means Ben kuchera has to go works at the burger king for a manager 15 years younger than him which would make me the happiest fucker on the planet

# ? Aug 31, 2016 02:36

WIFEY WATCHDOG: Jun 25, 2012; Yeah, well I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, he degifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.

I AM THE TOILET posted:

Game journos are complete bitches to devs and publishers which is why you'll never see polygon or kotaku or even giant bomb put these motherfuckers on blast because if they hurt EA's or Nintendo's feelings they'll miss out on scoops and previews and reviews, which means no traffic which means no ad revenue which means Ben kuchera has to go works at the burger king for a manager 15 years younger than him which would make me the happiest fucker on the planet

how do u really feel?

bitch

# ? Aug 31, 2016 02:39

Uncle Wemus: Mar 4, 2004

Its so odd. People unhappy with a product return it and get attacked?

More stores should berate customers who try to return something

# ? Aug 31, 2016 02:40

CaptainSarcastic: Jul 6, 2013

DOMDOM posted:

i too look to pad my days with fluff filler to occupy the hours until such time that I pass this gentle world for the next

This, but ironically.

# ? Aug 31, 2016 02:41

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

I never bought it in the first place :smug:

# ? Aug 31, 2016 02:41

I AM THE TOILET: Jul 11, 2016

And any more, you're going to see more and more of these fuckawful youtubers being the ones who get to preview and "report" on games because the publishers are figuring out it's way easier to deal with a single dipshit teenager to finagle positive coverage than loving sitting down with some website's marketing dept and getting them agree that the review score is going to be nothing less than a B minus on the scale.

More eyes are on youtubers, impressionable eyes, eyes that don't engage in any more critical thinking than the loving screaming idiot they're watching, and those eyes have money.

Why, if you're a publisher, would you continue to deal with websites and magazines if GNARLY CHUCK'S GAMING GOOFHOLE channel is going secure ten times the preorders and sales

# ? Aug 31, 2016 02:44

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

I AM THE TOILET posted:

And any more, you're going to see more and more of these fuckawful youtubers being the ones who get to preview and "report" on games because the publishers are figuring out it's way easier to deal with a single dipshit teenager to finagle positive coverage than loving sitting down with some website's marketing dept and getting them agree that the review score is going to be nothing less than a B minus on the scale.

More eyes are on youtubers, impressionable eyes, eyes that don't engage in any more critical thinking than the loving screaming idiot they're watching, and those eyes have money.

Why, if you're a publisher, would you continue to deal with websites and magazines if GNARLY CHUCK'S GAMING GOOFHOLE channel is going secure ten times the preorders and sales

that's nice, but you're wrong; incredibly wrong. so wrong, i'm not going to bother explaining this to you.

# ? Aug 31, 2016 02:47

Fire Barrel: Mar 28, 2010

I AM THE TOILET posted:

And any more, you're going to see more and more of these fuckawful youtubers being the ones who get to preview and "report" on games because the publishers are figuring out it's way easier to deal with a single dipshit teenager to finagle positive coverage than loving sitting down with some website's marketing dept and getting them agree that the review score is going to be nothing less than a B minus on the scale.

More eyes are on youtubers, impressionable eyes, eyes that don't engage in any more critical thinking than the loving screaming idiot they're watching, and those eyes have money.

Why, if you're a publisher, would you continue to deal with websites and magazines if GNARLY CHUCK'S GAMING GOOFHOLE channel is going secure ten times the preorders and sales

How many readers of game news sites really are critical though? I've seen comments and poo poo on the GB website that are lacking in any critical thought whatsoever. People should learn just to actually engage multiple sources and then draw conclusions after that, rather than just find a single "reliable" source.

Although youtubers are really cutting into the market that game journos have set up in a big way. I remember for some pretty big deal games, like the Witcher 3 or Total Warhammer, a lot of their stuff was shopped out to channels, especially if they were already fans of past content.

# ? Aug 31, 2016 02:47

glowstick party tonight: Oct 4, 2003; by zen death robot

opus111 posted:

is this the guy who was boinking rachel in friends?

nah his character was boinking Phoebe

IRL he was probably boinking both Lisa Kudrow and Jennifer Aniston because drat who wouldn't sleep with that perfect specimen

# ? Aug 31, 2016 02:49

Frog Act: Feb 10, 2012

i returned NMS after one hour

# ? Aug 31, 2016 02:49

I AM THE TOILET: Jul 11, 2016

Frog Act posted:

i returned NMS after one hour

Theif!!!!

# ? Aug 31, 2016 02:51

Flesh Forge: Jan 31, 2011; LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY DOG

satanic splash-back posted:

that's nice, but you're wrong; incredibly wrong. so wrong, i'm not going to bother explaining this to you.

for one thing my eyes definitely do not have any money :shrug:

# ? Aug 31, 2016 05:38

Goa Tse-tung: Feb 11, 2008; ;3; Yams Fan

mdm posted:

nah his character was boinking Phoebe

IRL he was probably boinking both Lisa Kudrow and Jennifer Aniston because drat who wouldn't sleep with that perfect specimen

I'd boink all three to be honest

# ? Aug 31, 2016 10:11

CrashCat: Jan 10, 2003; another shit post

Uncle Wemus posted:

Game sites are circling the wagons and wondering why people dont like it

I get that's their schtick but a game that has been crashing even for PS4 players for half a month after release might be the wrong hill to die on

Though I already read good articles on what its problems are aside from lofty promise so it's been covered

# ? Aug 31, 2016 10:44

I AM THE TOILET: Jul 11, 2016

maybe if kuchera writes a third editorial about no man's sky, all the haters will give up and rebuy their copies and extra copies to give to foreign children and dignitaries and also crown Ben as king videogame, whose insights are always good and correct :unsmith:

# ? Aug 31, 2016 17:23

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

I don't pay attention to scores.

What I do is find a reviewer who seems like (s)he isn't pandering, and then see if I generally mesh with their view on video games. People enjoy games for different reasons, you know? For example, I can forgive a lot of jank or graphic shittiness if the gameplay/genre is up my alley. Then I just see what that person thinks of the game.

The Rock Paper Shotgun "wot I think" articles are usually pretty good for me. The No Man's Sky review on it was fairly damning imo; it was basically 'I had fun playing for a bit but it's not actually v good and it's shallow as hell.' I don't think they do scores at all.

Dunkey had a good review of it as well imo.

Moridin920 fucked around with this message at 17:31 on Aug 31, 2016

# ? Aug 31, 2016 17:29

CrashCat: Jan 10, 2003; another shit post

I AM THE TOILET posted:

maybe if kuchera writes a third editorial about no man's sky, all the haters will give up and rebuy their copies and extra copies to give to foreign children and dignitaries and also crown Ben as king videogame, whose insights are always good and correct

he cannot have that crown unless he defeats Stux in single combat

# ? Aug 31, 2016 17:29

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

It's telling that Ben uses the word "haters" instead of "critics." In his mind it is impossible for a person that spent sixty dollars on a broken product to have an valid criticism of that product. Ben Kuchera should be thrown into an active volcano so that 2017 may be blessed with better game releases.

# ? Aug 31, 2016 17:35

OMG JC a Bomb!: Jul 13, 2004; We are the Invisible Spatula. We are the Grilluminati. We eat before and after dinner. We eat forever. And eventually... eventually we will lead them into the dining room.

Writing "Actually the bad thing is good!" articles are great for ad revenue and attention whoring, as we've learned from our very own supermechagodzilla. Plus, if Hello isn't completely destroyed by this shitshow, Polygon will probably get exclusive access to all kinds of poo poo because The Cooch decided to fellate them relentlessly.

# ? Aug 31, 2016 17:41

Berious: Nov 13, 2005

Remember when Polygon gave SimCity like 90% then when it turned out everyone hated SimCity they kept lowering the score?

They had pretty much just started up but that was the moment they jumped the shark.

# ? Aug 31, 2016 17:42

Fried Watermelon: Dec 29, 2008

Very glad I illegally downloaded this game before buying

# ? Aug 31, 2016 17:50

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

We should all just play Undertale again.

Unless you've already gotten the True Pacifist ending in which case you must never play Undertale again.

# ? Aug 31, 2016 17:57

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

I'm looking through archives of Penny Arcade Report to see if Kuchera was insane then, and he has a think piece where he is concerned that a theoretical nine year old girl would be put off by the art style of Dragon's Crown (a T rated game), so I guess that answers that.

# ? Aug 31, 2016 18:03

I AM THE TOILET: Jul 11, 2016

dragon's crown was loving stupid in terms of art and there was a penny arcade cartoon where there was a picture of a barbarian with a huge dick and nutsack and the artist is screaming WHAT IF WE OBJECTIFIED MEN LIKE THIS HMMMMMMM??? I BET YOU WOULDN'T PLAY THIS GAME THEN and it's like you have no loving clue do you

as if at that moment I WOULDN'T play big dick barbarian to the exclusivity of any other character in that game ever

# ? Sep 1, 2016 10:12

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

I AM THE TOILET posted:

dragon's crown was loving stupid in terms of art and there was a penny arcade cartoon where there was a picture of a barbarian with a huge dick and nutsack and the artist is screaming WHAT IF WE OBJECTIFIED MEN LIKE THIS HMMMMMMM??? I BET YOU WOULDN'T PLAY THIS GAME THEN and it's like you have no loving clue do you

as if at that moment I WOULDN'T play big dick barbarian to the exclusivity of any other character in that game ever

Same I was like "let's go dude bring on the balls."

# ? Sep 1, 2016 10:29

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

Now if you could have both...

# ? Sep 1, 2016 10:30

KiteAuraan: Aug 5, 2014; JER GEDDA FERDA RADDA ARA!

Germstore posted:

I'm looking through archives of Penny Arcade Report to see if Kuchera was insane then, and he has a think piece where he is concerned that a theoretical nine year old girl would be put off by the art style of Dragon's Crown (a T rated game), so I guess that answers that.

George Kamitani and his art are treasures of the human race and everyone who besmirched him at that time was a subhuman animal.

# ? Sep 1, 2016 10:31

abigserve: Sep 13, 2009; this is a better avatar than what I had before

Berious posted:

Remember when Polygon gave SimCity like 90% then when it turned out everyone hated SimCity they kept lowering the score?

They had pretty much just started up but that was the moment they jumped the shark.

Sim city was terrible but at least it felt like some part of it had real effort put into it (the art)

Nms has nothing about it that feels even semi fleshed out, the entire thing feels like they built a really basic tech demo for a pitch meeting, then went to the pub

# ? Sep 1, 2016 10:48

UnfortunateSexFart: May 18, 2008; ð» ððð« ð·ððð·
ð ð ð ð« ð®ð ð¾ð ð ð¡ððð

Game is already $30 off at best buy Canada

# ? Sep 1, 2016 10:54

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Simcity team was led by a guy called Ocean Quigley.

lol that anybody had any hope for it whatsoever

# ? Sep 1, 2016 10:57

CrashCat: Jan 10, 2003; another shit post

KiteAuraan posted:

George Kamitani and his art are treasures of the human race and everyone who besmirched him at that time was a subhuman animal.

the truth is somewhere in between

which is to say everyone should play dwarf and throw everything

# ? Sep 1, 2016 11:50

I AM THE TOILET: Jul 11, 2016

something tells me if you showed penny arcade cho aniki the first reaction they'd have is UGH SO GAY

# ? Sep 1, 2016 11:55

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# ? May 6, 2024 15:59

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

Sim city is fun because you can make the dinosaur smash the city

# ? Sep 1, 2016 13:20

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > i bought no mans sky, and it is the worst decision i''ve ever made

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