I am going out to drinks with an ex professional Magic the Gathering player

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > I am going out to drinks with an ex professional Magic the Gathering player

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Cyber Punk 90210: Jan 7, 2004; The War Has Changed

Cthulu Carl posted:

Is it the one the chick from Gawker or whatever had a meltdown about because how DARE he no disclose this information on his OKC profile, why it's almost RAPE.

John Finkel, he's a hedge fund manager now.

e: :page3:

Cyber Punk 90210 fucked around with this message at 15:37 on Aug 26, 2016

# ? Aug 26, 2016 15:35

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 2, 2024 23:12

dookifex_maximus: Aug 10, 2016; by zen death robot

jon joe posted:

Ask him what color(s) he identifies most with and then refer to this handy guide:

Red: Emotionally unstable
Blue: Autistic. I mean more than normal
White:Boring
Green:Doesn't shower for days at a time, "natural"
Black:Total rear end in a top hat

this is accurate

# ? Aug 26, 2016 20:00

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

# ? Aug 26, 2016 20:14

FormerPoster: Aug 5, 2004; Hair Elf

If you go out to dinner with him and play the scheherazade card, he'll have to take you on a date within that date. Keep playing that card until you get like a hundred dates deep and he'll never be able to escape.

# ? Aug 26, 2016 20:19

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Naerasa posted:

If you go out to dinner with him and play the scheherazade card, he'll have to take you on a date within that date. Keep playing that card until you get like a hundred dates deep and he'll never be able to escape.

Asking him to Enter The Dungeon seems more on point for this particular plan

(even though Shahrazad gets major points for being an actual card)

# ? Aug 26, 2016 20:22

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

jon joe posted:

Ask him what color(s) he identifies most with and then refer to this handy guide:

Red: Emotionally unstable
Blue: Autistic. I mean more than normal
White:Boring
Green:Doesn't shower for days at a time, "natural"
Black:Total rear end in a top hat

Huh, I am a boring, autistic rear end in a top hat. Veracity confirmed.

# ? Aug 26, 2016 20:43

extra stout: Feb 24, 2005; ISILDUR's ERR

this thread title reminds me of the frontpage article I hosed Blues Traveler a lot and it makes me laugh because that was a really well written front page article

# ? Aug 26, 2016 20:51

Jerry Mumphrey: Mar 11, 2004; by zen death robot
(and can't post for 4 years!)

put a straw in your butthole and fart in his drink

# ? Aug 26, 2016 20:53

bag em and tag em: Nov 4, 2008

Each of you suck your own dicks but together. Climax in synch.

# ? Aug 26, 2016 21:03

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

RedMage129 posted:

Each of you suck your own dicks but together. Climax in synch.

First one to orgasm cums last, don't you know how the stack works?

# ? Aug 26, 2016 21:06

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

JakeP posted:

I can't believe anyone knows the name of any pro magic the gathering players in 2016 loving lol

i'm just kind of disappointed in humanity that "pro magic the gathering player" is a thing

# ? Aug 26, 2016 21:14

Triggered: Aug 21, 2016; Learn about this great man on mormon.org

What the gently caress is magic the gathering anyway. Is it one of them there video games? Sounds like a game for losers regardless.

# ? Aug 26, 2016 21:25

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Is it Kenji Egashira or Kenji Tsumura?

# ? Aug 26, 2016 21:36

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

JakeP posted:

I can't believe anyone knows the name of any pro magic the gathering players in 2016 loving lol

# ? Aug 26, 2016 21:37

nomadologique: Mar 9, 2011; DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

treat him like you would any other human being: like garbage

# ? Aug 26, 2016 22:06

Infinite Karma: Oct 23, 2004; Good as dead

I am an ex professional Magic the Gathering player, and I am not dating the OP, it's probably my buddy Matt, he's a real ladies man.

# ? Aug 26, 2016 22:13

JakeP: Apr 27, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Lipstick Apathy

OMGVBFLOL posted:

i'm just kind of disappointed in humanity that "pro magic the gathering player" is a thing

Its a thing, but not the type of thing where you move out of your parents basement ever

# ? Aug 26, 2016 22:42

Maldoror: Oct 5, 2003; by R. Guyovich; Nap Ghost

Wall Balls posted:

perform the ritual

# ? Aug 26, 2016 22:49

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

JakeP posted:

Its a thing, but not the type of thing where you move out of your parents basement ever

Best case scenario is closer to "I live in my buddy steve's apt. because he needed a new roomie and I'm subletting for $150 a month that I get for Social Security and my Galaxy Chillzone Comix and Gamez sponsorship while still having enough to get a little caesar's hot and ready for din-din every night"

# ? Aug 26, 2016 22:51

504: Feb 2, 2016; by R. Guyovich

Tell him "Magic: The gathering?" more like "Money: The wasting"

Then spend the rest of the night staring at him like you just realized he's Aatrek but for some reason cant just leave.

# ? Aug 26, 2016 22:52

Tofuslob: Jul 9, 2013

Cthulu Carl posted:

Is it the one the chick from Gawker or whatever had a meltdown about because how DARE he no disclose this information on his OKC profile, why it's almost RAPE.

yeah gawker was kind of overrated garbage. Kotaku and jezebal were okay though

# ? Aug 26, 2016 23:18

Mr. Meagles: Apr 30, 2004; Out here, everything hurts

LGD posted:

would bone kibler

i'm so gay

# ? Aug 26, 2016 23:21

Agentdark: Dec 30, 2007; Mom says I'm the best painter she's ever seen. Jealous much?

Engage the date as normal, go home, sleep with him, steal his magic cards while he sleeps.

# ? Aug 26, 2016 23:45

504: Feb 2, 2016; by R. Guyovich

Agentdark posted:

Engage the date as normal, go home, sleep with him, steal his magic cards while he sleeps.

Slightly damage each one then return.

# ? Aug 26, 2016 23:47

Nirvikalpa: Aug 20, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Agentdark posted:

Engage the date as normal, go home, sleep with him, steal his magic cards while he sleeps.

I wish! He doesn't have any at his house. ):

I think you guys are overthinking this. He does not have that many pro points but most decent players have seen him. Haha.

# ? Aug 29, 2016 15:45

JakeP: Apr 27, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Lipstick Apathy

Nirvikalpa posted:

I think you guys are overthinking this.

I don't think any of us are thinking about this at all actually

# ? Aug 29, 2016 15:47

Full Metal Jackass: Jan 22, 2001; Rabid bats are welcome in my home

I couldn't intelligently discuss what the loving game is about, let alone name anyone who plays it.

# ? Aug 29, 2016 16:31

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

this thread is proof that all pro anythings have groupies

# ? Aug 29, 2016 16:33