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Adventure Pigeon
Nov 8, 2005

I am a master storyteller.
Around 350 years ago there was a dude named Ibrahim, who was insane and also sultan of the Ottoman Empire. He also had a fatty fetish, which he developed after seeing a cow or something. So he sent his men out to find the fattest woman in the world. They came back with a woman named Sugar Cube who probably weighed around 330 pounds.

Now a days pretty much any Golden Corral or Walmart in the South would be that dude's sexual Valhalla, but I don't think genetics have changed that much in the last 350 years.

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