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Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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the woman who beat the woman who beat ronda rousey got brutally owned by rousey twice already

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Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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quote:

If they're so ultimate why don't they use weapons and secret ninja techniques. I don't understand UFC at all they just hug and roll around

Booblord Zagats posted:

This man is asking the real questions! Why must we be stuck with boring rear end homo-hug battles instead of badass ninja wars?

Also Ronda seems cool, she just lost a fight is all, it happens, like when I tried to beat up Bane in Batman Arkham Origins once but he beat me up instead. Luck of the draw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYQiPRUu7b0&t=155s

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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The black guy was the ninja

Turns out that taking people down and mauling them is the best martial art

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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Moridin920 posted:

The thing to remember about MMA is that it is still a sport. This is most obvious when you see people turning around and showing the back of their head to their opponent, who doesn't take that opportunity to inflict massive injury on them (hits to the back of the head are not allowed).

I'm not really sure what Ninja VS MMA fighter is supposed to prove when a 'real' ninja or whatever would probably immediately try to gouge your eyes out.

The most 'effective' moves are often also illegal moves in MMA because effective fighting is about disabling your opponent by any means necessary as fast as possible.

illegal moves:
groin shots
small joint manipulation
joint breaks without allowing opponent to submit
eye gouges
fish hooking
biting
"rabbit" punches
strikes to the back of the head
grabbing clothing
"spiking"
throat strikes
trachea strikes
ear ripping

Ninjas were a bunch of pussies who couldn't do poo poo without sucker punching people or using weapons, from behind

massive fuckin dorks of the martial arts world

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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Moridin920 posted:

I'm not saying takedowns aren't effective, I'm just saying the rules of the sport make it such that takedowns and the ground game are the better strategy most of the time even though irl they might not be so that's why people often have the complaint of 'this is just hugging and takedowns.'

To be honest the initial lunge or whatever it is called most of them do would be immediately met with a downward elbow to the back of the head from someone who isn't just some random drunk idiot getting slammed into the ground. Crazy illegal to do in the ring but not hard to pull off when they are shooting at your waist.

Welll, it's illegal to strike right above the neck but you can still elbow the poo poo out of people, like this;


It's extremely hard to pull off though, that guy is only one of very few to do it

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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a retard posted:

homeschooling is a bad idea

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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Danger Mahoney posted:

Also her entire career was basically the plot of Rocky III. Good fighter but all her matches were with palookas to build her brand.

What

She beat everyone except the girl who beat her

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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jonathan posted:

Cyborg is going to rule the ufc for awhile even at a disadvantage of having to shed all her weight. its a shame really, these other women fighters should be forced to gain weight. Shouldn't be that hard OHHHHHHHHHHH
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvUIW-0jC3o

The UFC recently started using USADA testing which means a lot of people had to stop roiding as much. This is going to affect Cris as well, the most obvious female roider in the sport

Cephalectomy posted:

i remember when japanese pride fighting was new on tv and the random street brawlers beat the gently caress out of all the trained fighters in almost every match it was p. funny. ufc is dumb and its fans are just as bad as wrestling fans



The opposite of this happened

The only "trained" fighters who got destroyed early on were like redneck karate masters, ninjas and guys using one boxing glove on one hand

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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What did watermelons ever do to swole women

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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martial arts is about RESPECT

*mounts my opponent and turns their face into hamburger*

AND HONOR

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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i love mma

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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She got choked out as a baby or whatever, born with the cord around the neck and suffered from hypoxia, and sustained permanent brain damage and couldn't say words until she was like 4 or something. Fortunately this braindamage also gave her superpowers and she became the best female fighter on the planet

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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Sharzak posted:

i got loving annihilated by a 90 lb purple belt today. i am unbelievably sore. we were even training specifically wrestling. train martial arts folks.

90lb? Was it a literal child that annihilated you?

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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Trast posted:

If you guys who are new to MMA want to see cool fights look up the following:
Forrest Griffin vs Stephan Bonnar

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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asian fighters really struggle in modern martial arts, most of them get destroyed in the ufc


this is contrary to what movies has taught me :(

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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everyone looked like a total slob in the early mma days

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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Sharzak posted:

an extremely fit 5'5 or so woman.

that's pretty hot

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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That's racist

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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Probably all the steroids he was abusing, loving up his wretched body

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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You have a lot of european fighters in the UFC but MMA is still a very niche sport in many of the larger European countries. Like, I only know of a handful of German fighters in all of MMA and a couple of Scandinavian ones. The rest are from eastern europe and the UK. I don't even know if there's a single spanish fighter in the ufc

Most of the UFC events take place in America, during American timezones which makes it hard as a European sometimes to follow the sport like you'd want to

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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asian martial arts vs reality;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEDaCIDvj6I

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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There are of course legit asian martial arts. Karate and Muy Thai being the big ones, but there's a lot of garbage out there also

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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Roy nelson

* almost impossible to knock out
* can knock you out easily
* is very rotund

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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reminder that Roy Nelson claims to be a Kung Fu martial artist

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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tickled pink? what kind of expression is that

you some kind of rear end in a top hat or something

you want a go mate

you want to HAVE A loving GO MATE

*assumes tiger stance*

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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im happy nate diaz managed to mine a lot of money out of the circus with Conor mcgregor

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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I had the same face as Rogan when it happened

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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Women need more testosterone to build up that aggresssion to want to fight more

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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state sponsored steroids for women in mma imo

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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Ronda Rousey happens to still be better than all the other female fighters anyway though. Her getting knocked out in a sloppy standup fight with a champion kickboxer doesn't really change that, especially since that champion kickboxer got owned by Miesha loving Tate shortly after

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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Ever noticed how the word Fit is really close to Fat

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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You never know which Ronda you're gonna get



Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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thats mike dolce, a nutritionist


jesus christ why do i know so much stuff about mma

someone make me forget mike dolce

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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Steroids, like regular common steroids, mostly just boost your recovery and muscle synthethis and wouldn't really be helfpul with endurance

Now, poo poo like EPO and blood doping though, I hesitate to call steroids because it is just loving mad blood magic tbh

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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The moment Fedor started fighting not cherry picked heavyweights he started looking like poo poo. He got owned by all the good ones (and Dan Henderson, who is a middleweight) and was last seen getting almost killed by Homer Simpson before the corrupt judges gave him a BS win

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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jonathan posted:

He only has 4 losses and he was matched up against the best of pride and the best of the UFC. In his late 20's and early 30's the only opponents he wasnt tested with were guys under contract with the ufc. Dana talked some passive aggressive poo poo about him back then, but now that he is passed his prime, Dana always says how tough and strong willed the guy is.

in the last 10 years the only notable win are his wins against Arlovski and Tim Sylvia and neither of those guys are particularly good. As for age, he was knocked out cold by Dan Henderson who is older

He was the best HW in the Pride era, that's it

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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LadyPictureShow posted:

Wow, that's certainly... wow.

Did both those guys have a 'gently caress it, I'm not blocking ever' style or something?

Not really, it was just a magical moment of two trashy fighters deciding to make a stand

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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He was the good kind of trashy though

Last I saw of him he was getting drunk as gently caress getting knocked out by random dudes outside of bars. :911:

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Zzulu
May 15, 2009

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yeah except the same generation is still fighting in the UFC

Josh Barnett won a fight just the other week, Dan Henderson is fighting for the title soon

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