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This thread is about batshit crazy ex, not goon self right?
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Sep 5, 2016 23:57
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| # ? May 3, 2024 04:35 |
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dethkon posted:Rape by deception: she didn't tell me she was really a man until after I'd already sucked her penis I hate when that happens 
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Sep 6, 2016 00:01
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I used to have a casual thing with an art student and she was great, although her "really close guy friend" hated me and tried to convince her that I was a drug dealer. My worst ex hosed a middle-aged dude she met at a gay bar without a condom, then a couple of days later sent me a tearful message begging me not to sleep with anyone else. I think she was hoping I'd wait around for her to get the "unprotected sex with dirty old men" thing out of her system and then carry on as usual. Twenty years later and we're still married.
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Sep 6, 2016 01:57
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my ex tried to get physical one night with me during a bad argument she pushed me pretty hard and tried to hit me but missed cause she was drunk. i was like oh gently caress no im out of here and went to stay at a friends. only time ive ever been involved in a physical confrontation with a woman partner or otherwise 
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Sep 6, 2016 02:00
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Art students... AMIRITE? Namaste.
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Sep 6, 2016 02:17
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If someone tells you they might have borderline personality disorder, imo, turn around and never look back.
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Sep 6, 2016 03:46
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-Honestly believed she was a werewolf AND was raised, as a spirit, by Hugin and Munin of Norse mythology fame. Refused to shapeshift (even though she totally could if she wanted to) because I was not a part of her clan. -Proposed to me in the middle of us having sex for the first time. I thought she was just drunk and emotional so I didn't really respond. She did it again the second (sober) time with the pitch, "I firmly believe in gender roles. A man should provide for his woman and she should cook for him, clean his house and blow him whenever he wants." Of course this was predicated on me earning 100K a year to ensure she has plenty of money to spend and she saw fit. I've always been poor so I don't know why she watch hitching her cart to my... arthritic mule.
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Sep 6, 2016 04:19
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Only legit crazy ex I had split Los Angeles for like two weeks, didn't check in with any family or friends. I freaked out, got really worried. Her family put out a missing persons for her and for a brief period I was a POI. Then she gets on Facebook and lets everyone know she was just doing weed and shrooms with peoe she met at a party - in Santa Cruz. The next day she calls me and I break up with her and she seems surprised and a little hurt that I was ticked. What the gently caress.
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Sep 6, 2016 05:34
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Tinder dates count? Tinder date example 1 - We have dinner, she drinks a bit too much wine, insists on seeing my place. As soon as we enter my apartment, she goes into my bedroom and faceplants into my bed, immediately passing out. I sleep on the couch in the living room. In the morning, I hear her sneak out. I go to the bedroom and try to pass out. I smell something funny. I look around for a bit, and I find it: girl urinated in one of the corners of my bedroom. Tinder date example 2 - A few Tinder dates in, and I learned my lesson about bringing a girl back to my place on a first date. Previous dates go really good, she asks if she can spend the night. I agree, and she wants to order Pizza and have some wine while watching Netflix. Sounds easy! While deciding to what movie to put on, we come across the animated movie Anastasia. She says she loves it, and recommend something else other than an animated movie. She insists on the movie. We put it on, start drinking wine. A few wine glasses in, she starts singing every goddamn lyric to every loving song in the movie. At one point, she decides she's going to stand up and start belting the song, terribly. A high note in, and she projectile vomits. She was singing to me, facing me while I was trying to act not a little embarrassed or creeped out, so you can imagine my surprise when the vomit hits me. gently caress Tinder. Thank god I'm in a sane relationship now, dating is terrible.
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Sep 6, 2016 05:59
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She likes to wear green underwear. And man, she lays down most everywhere.
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Sep 6, 2016 06:03
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snakeandbake posted:If someone tells you they might have borderline personality disorder, imo, turn around and never look back. *shudder* I wish I knew that about 4-ish years ago.
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Sep 6, 2016 08:11
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only ever had chicks who begged to stay with me op i'm just that awesome ps i'm not awesome at all
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Sep 6, 2016 08:30
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When she was horny her tongue would loll out of her mouth like a tired dog. After a few times I kinda got into it though.
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Sep 6, 2016 08:32
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cmndstab posted:When she was horny her tongue would loll out of her mouth like a tired dog. Did it happen mid-foreplay, or was it something she did out of the blue to signal that she was now ready for sex? This is important.
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Sep 6, 2016 10:27
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KomodoWagon posted:Did it happen mid-foreplay, or was it something she did out of the blue to signal that she was now ready for sex? This is important. You should watch more chinese sex cartoons. They have all the answers.
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Sep 6, 2016 10:28
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This thread is so entertaining to watch
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Sep 6, 2016 10:36
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snakeandbake posted:If someone tells you they might have (MENTAL ILLNESS), imo, turn around and never look back. If someone is really great but... it's the but that will bite you in the rear end. Whoever compared this to alcoholism was on the money.
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Sep 6, 2016 12:22
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cmndstab posted:When she was horny her tongue would loll out of her mouth like a tired dog. haha
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Sep 6, 2016 12:54
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Called herself "Lady Starshine" when I met her. Fancied herself a Wiccan priestess, psychic, and an honest-to-god Star Trek-style empath. Pretty much lost her mind after we broke up, eventually wound up married to some homeless crazy person she met on the internet whom she would earnestly describe as "a genius" and "the Christ returned to earth." She eventually spawned with this mook at 50, divorced him when he allegedly diddled the kid, and finally lost custody to her sister on the (totally correct) grounds that she was an unfit parent. Wound up as a completely nuts, unemployable conspiracy theorist who doesn't work because she refuses to take any job that is not in "the games industry." Last I heard, she was living in a shotgun shack in GA owned by some guy she met on the Above Top Secret forums and had become blissfully umooored from reality. To the very last, she considered herself superior to and smarter than everyone around her, despite all evidence to the contrary. A goddamn shame, because she wasn't really a bad person, but no one's willing to put up with her poo poo anymore. Hell, I put up with it far longer than I should have, but she was GREAT in the sack. cmndstab posted:When she was horny her tongue would loll out of her mouth like a tired dog. I think we may have dated the same person. It was weirdly hot, but she'd only get off if I jammed my fingers in her gob and swirled them around like I was trying to pull a hair clog out of a drain. Anything else she seemed to vaguely resent. Bimmi fucked around with this message at 13:29 on Sep 6, 2016 |
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Sep 6, 2016 13:24
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precision posted:She likes to wear green underwear. And man, she lays down most everywhere. my friend goo has a real tattoo 
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Sep 6, 2016 14:00
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My exes were all cool and good. They loved me, I loved them, it did not work out.
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Sep 6, 2016 14:05
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Runefaust posted:Tinder dates count? Tinder always seemed like a nightmare scenario waiting to happen. I hate strangers in my drat house, and my dogs aren't fans of it either. I met my girlfriend the old fashioned way, hitting on the massage therapist at the gym for weeks and finally talking her in to playing tennis with me the next day
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Sep 6, 2016 14:24
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My first girlfriend was raised christian which meant she hosed like crazy but would hold tons of pent up guilt about it. It ended when she moved away but we hooked up a few times when she would come back to town. She would try to use that to try to guilt me into "making this work" and when I said no she would accuse me of using her for a convenient hook up and cut off contact. Then she'd come back to town a few months later and hit me up again. Good times.
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Sep 6, 2016 14:32
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my girlfriend hits me and gets demon eyes when i rile her up  also she doesn't like to cuddle while watching tv or whatever, she just wants to sit with her legs crossed like some victorian lady . it makes me very sad.loving british girls.
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Sep 6, 2016 16:18
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Vegetable posted:My exes were all cool and good. They loved me, I loved them, it did not work out. same friend :human being:  
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Sep 6, 2016 19:54
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Have you tried lying back and thinking of England?
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Sep 6, 2016 20:05
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An ex I had right after graduating from college had some sort of sexual abuse/molestation history but wouldn't want to talk about it or see a therapist. She would have dissociative episodes or something every now and then. I offered to pay for her therapy but she was worried it would make for weird power dynamics in the relationship so I got nowhere with that no matter how much I tried to push it. I should have seen some of the red flags like her basically moving into my apartment after a couple weeks, but sex with her was great and that really clouded my thinking. Nothing too crazy happened aside from that. Our relationship fizzled out after about six months and I didn't hear from her for a few years. By then she was doing better and we would meet up to gently caress every now and then. I've been dating my current great girlfriend for a few years, but I usually catch up with the ex for lunch or something if I'm in town, and she seems to be doing well. I've been fortunate to never have the truly crazy poo poo like false rape or pregnancy accusations.
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Sep 6, 2016 20:21
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"Every girl I've ever loved has wanted to be hit. And every girl I've ever loved has left me, because I wouldn't do it."
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Sep 6, 2016 20:29
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Dated and got engaged to a girl in college. Everything was drat near perfect. Randomly one day in the fall we're sitting at lunch before afternoon classes and she breaks up with me. Gives vague reasons why,it doesn't make sense no matter how long we talk about it. She leaves, goes to class or wherever. I'm crushed. Then she drops off the face of the earth. I stopped seeing her on campus. Her grandparents won't take my calls (her parents were deadbeats). Time passes and I'm reading the newspaper for articles (pre-internet!), wondering if something happened to her. I check the obituaries. Nothing. She's just gone. Then she messages me on Facebook, 20 years later. She moved to Oregon (1000 miles away), got married, finished college, had a kid, got divorced some time ago. Wants to be friends. The old scar tears open a little. But I'm married, have a son, a good career. She tries to explain what happened and its still doesn't make any sense. It took me a long time to heal after she destroyed me, I tell her. She's sorry. So am I. So I break off all contact with her, and move on.
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Sep 6, 2016 21:20
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SmokaDustbowl posted:
oh god.. im so sorry
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Sep 6, 2016 22:08
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Playing truth or dare with a girl I had a crush on, she chose truth. "I'm bi" *penis engorges* "polar" *penis ungorges*
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Sep 6, 2016 23:14
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Champenema posted:Playing truth or dare with a girl I had a crush on, she chose truth. Lmbo
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Sep 6, 2016 23:21
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If I filtered for mental illness I would never ever have gotten laid or indeed had many relationships of any kind at all.
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Sep 6, 2016 23:27
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Runefaust posted:Tinder dates count? Tinder date 1 was probably homeless and looking for somewhere to crash for the night, fyi
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Sep 7, 2016 02:33
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cyberia posted:Tinder date 1 was probably homeless and looking for somewhere to crash for the night, fyi Honestly if you're the kind of homeless where you still have access to a smartphone you should probably still be housetrained
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Sep 7, 2016 02:52
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Nostratic posted:Dated and got engaged to a girl in college. Everything was drat near perfect. Randomly one day in the fall we're sitting at lunch before afternoon classes and she breaks up with me. Gives vague reasons why,it doesn't make sense no matter how long we talk about it. She leaves, goes to class or wherever. I'm crushed. You dodged a bullet there. So many dumbasses would risk losing their marriage to try to make things work with the crazy heartbreaker. Even trying to just be friends in that situation is a can of worms. On the downside, no juicy E/N story will come of this. Too bad for the rest of us, but win for you.
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Sep 7, 2016 03:06
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Nostratic posted:Dated and got engaged to a girl in college. Everything was drat near perfect. Randomly one day in the fall we're sitting at lunch before afternoon classes and she breaks up with me. Gives vague reasons why,it doesn't make sense no matter how long we talk about it. She leaves, goes to class or wherever. I'm crushed. drat dude. That poo poo is pretty legit. Even if it's made up, I can appreciate the feels it invoked in me. You made the right decision. Real poo poo man.
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Sep 7, 2016 04:05
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Nostratic posted:Dated and got engaged to a girl in college. Everything was drat near perfect. Randomly one day in the fall we're sitting at lunch before afternoon classes and she breaks up with me. Gives vague reasons why,it doesn't make sense no matter how long we talk about it. She leaves, goes to class or wherever. I'm crushed. Can you try to put into words what her reasons were?
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Sep 7, 2016 04:48
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Yeah, no juicy upcoming E/N story about driving across the country to hook up with my college ex. It's a true story, it took me a solid 3 years to really get past it and try dating again. Even when my then-future wife and I were getting serious, I spent a lot of time sweating when she was going to leave me. Unfortunately for her, she never did and now we're waiting for ISIS to attack my work place so she can collect my life insurance, plus the sweet-rear end death and dismemberment coverage :metal: As for reasons, it's hard to explain. It's like trying to hug water. She said she was stressing about school, but later she was worried about planning the wedding (which we weren't needing to plan for another 18 months or so), her mom called her once at some point (but she never mentioned it to me, despite her having told me about how alternately absent and lovely her mom was), she felt "mentally raped" by... something she never bothered to explain? The reason seemed to change the more we talked about what happened, but I gave up at that last one. Oh, and apparently she didn't REALLY want to go to the Skinny Puppy show I took her to. Despite her being almost as big a fan as I was. So yeah, dodged a bullet. But poo poo, it still hurt to see her name pop up when she messaged me on Facebook two or three years ago.
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Sep 7, 2016 05:32
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| # ? May 3, 2024 04:35 |
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She was a childhood friend of a friend doing the same course as me. We went to different universities and lived 200 miles apart but still started seeing each other (great idea right there). Some of the signs I chose to ignore for too long were: - unironically saying she was needy and not seeing the problem - once sending me 100 texts in succession because I wasn't awake yet - texting me every night saying "I'm stressed" and then completely rejecting any attempts of mine to reassure her - telling me she loved me after two months - curling up into a ball and going catatonic for about 4 hours at a time if she thought I was annoyed at her Her mother had schizophrenia and her identical sister also had some mental health issues so I know not everything was within control but, regardless, I couldn't carry on so I ended it. She went batshit after that and alternated between sending me abusive messages during the day followed by "I miss you" at night. This went on for several months. I was way more patient with her than I should have been and, five years later, we're cool. She's been with the same guy for at least 3 years now so at least she's happy. I spoke to a friend about it and she told me I should've never put my dick in a crazy, but it's always fun at the time.
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Sep 7, 2016 09:54
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