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May 3, 2024 18:00
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- bird with big dick
- Oct 21, 2015
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>Offer to fellate larger thug for my freedom.
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Sep 1, 2016 23:49
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- Glasgow Kiss
- Dec 12, 2007
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Oh, put that thing away, Samurai. We all know what's going to happen. You'll swing your sword, I'll fly away, and probably say something like, "I'll be back, Samurai!" And then I'll flutter over the horizon and we probably won't see each for... about a week. And then we'll do the same thing again.
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did someone make a joke about the rotten sausages yet
op you gotta eat some rotten sausages so you may poop out your intestinal lining like the that other homeless goon
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#
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Sep 1, 2016 23:55
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- Principals Orifice
- Aug 23, 2016
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by Lowtax
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criscodisco consistently makes me laugh on and off the forums with his absolutely hilarious comments that just come out of nowhere
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Sep 1, 2016 23:56
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- pants in my pants
- Aug 18, 2009
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by Smythe
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if you keep it up goons will give you money and a job, which you'll lose and then spend all day posting about some lovely 90s fox sitcom. win win.
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Sep 1, 2016 23:57
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- Principals Orifice
- Aug 23, 2016
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by Lowtax
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i like the married with children thread lol
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Sep 1, 2016 23:58
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- Famethrowa
- Oct 5, 2012
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if you keep it up goons will give you money and a job, which you'll lose and then spend all day posting about some lovely 90s fox sitcom. win win.
Is that what happened with the other homeless goon? If so I need to read this saga
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Sep 1, 2016 23:59
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- Principals Orifice
- Aug 23, 2016
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by Lowtax
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im certainly trying my hardest which is really all anyone can do
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#
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Sep 2, 2016 00:00
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- Gatekeeper
- Aug 3, 2003
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He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.
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hey bud I know how ya feel, I've been a member of this ol brotherhood, the homeless brigade
I stopped taking those pills and quit my job to focus on becomin a vampire full time and even tally my savings ran Out and I was asked to leave my home, luckily there wS a very cool abandoned house down the block so I just packed up my lil hand carved wolf figurines and dream journals and climbed a tree to get in thru a second story window
Do you have any anbandonex houses in your area?
First order of business is finding a comfortable bed. I tried to use a slightly comfortable dresser but it wasn't even really slightly comfortable and after day two of lying across this thing I had pains and couldt bend over to tie my shoes, so I started wearin crocs and found a new bed
It's risky business, trusting mattresses or cushions you find in abandoned houses. For some reason the sight of a lil loveseat in a abandoned house makes people either rip it to bitties or piss all over it or set it on fire and laugh at the flames. I lucked out, though. I found a lil couchie and it wasn't really ripped at all, no burns, and when I sniffed it I couldn't really smell anything.
Now keep in mind, the whole place had a sort of skunk ape smell anyway, but piss is a unique smell. I pulled some drapes off a window and threw em in the corner and pissed on them. Lately I'd been drinking Andrew Jacksons, which is coffee (light & sweet) and 97℅ isopropyl alcohol, which makes your piss distinctly powerful in the stank department. I sniffed the drapes and compared it to the couchie, and decided the cushies were piss free. I put the drapes in the basement in case I decided to clean them one day (there were a bunch of Amway cleaning supplies in the basement along with Herbalife products, lol no wonder this retards house was foreclosed upon) and I got some well deserved sleep on my new bed. It enveloped my body like a hug from a fat mama. It was amazing. Like a big cat bed but for a man.
I made some good friends in the house, all cats. Some were friendlier than others. Familiars of local witches, I assume. I asked and I asked but they never yielded any of their secrets. But I shared my turkey sammlers with them and we became busom buddies.
If you come across cats, or things that look like cats but with pointy beaks and tiny manhands, they're called racoons btw, make sure you share nourishments with them. They'll be your best friends, small helpers who keep away the bitey rats and warn you of approaching van helsings.
That's another thing: since I assume like me you threw away your prospects and future for the hopes of becoming an undead, your new enemy isn't pushy Jewish girlfriends or moms with advice or angry drivers with red sweaty faces and threatening voices, not anymote. Now, you need to look out for van helsings. They can sniff out the paranatural like a dog sniffs out a other dogs rear end in a top hat, and they'll be gunning for you. They accuse you of poo poo like "trespassing" and "squatting" and "being a nuisance by sitting in their driveway at night stealing their electricity to charge your laptop so you can watch that show with the handsome brothers in the impala who fight ghosts and hellcats and christs" and "lowering their property value" which is all code for "im jealous as gently caress that you're pursuing your dream and are free in all the ways I shall never be" and they won't hesitate to dispatch their lackeys to come and bust your onions.
Around my neck of the woods, there are no woods because it's a city. New york city. And it's run by a gang of werewolves called the NYPD. These woofers are natural allies of the van helsings because they hate witches and vampires and they're all too scared to admit that cocks are honestly pretty cool and there's nothing wrong with liking then or thinking about them and maybe touching on them if the other guy is ok with it. They repress their dickthoughts andtake out their aggression by "ruff"ing up the local poors and crazies and locking you away in magickal jails where your powers stop working and you can't become a gas and escape through vents like you can at home.
I dunno where you are, but odds are the brotherhood of the wolf has some stronghold in your woodneck too. State poopertroopers, sheriffs, Paul blarts, all woofmen And all ready to gently caress your poo poo up just because.
Basically what I'm getting at is you need to get powerful. Not just physically, although yes, use this free time to do push-ups and eat only boars head low sodium additive free cold cuts on freshly baked Italian bread with LITE mayo and diet Arizona tea. Think about it - when you finally turn into a vampire, you're gonna look the same forever. That gunt? Never goin away. No matter how much you run around in the guise of a white wolf at night, and no matter how many healthy non-smokers you feed upon, you can't lose weight. You go beneath the ground at the end of the day, and when you rise at night, all that fat is back. You can only drink the blood of swamp critters like Tom cruise did and get kinda gaunt but it's like skinny fat, not true thinness. So get healthy before you turn.
But when I saw powerful, I mean learn yourself some good spells. Make some potions. Buy a chemistry set and grow some herbs and see if you can grow your dick bigger or make a cat chsnge into a English woman (don't do both at the same time tho, trust me). Break into an occult new age book store and steal every necronomicon you can see. Take some gemstones too, you can trade them to stinky girls with braids in exchange for having them suck on that big ol dick you grew with your potions. Burn poo poo with your mind. Start with the amway products in your basement, they're usually flammable which makes it easier.
Good luck with your transition, Op. It didn't work out for me because NYPD woofmen caught me and brought me to Azkaban and their alchemist force-fed me brain potions and a wizard gave me shock treatment and now I'm not crazy and I have a home and career. But my heart will always be in that abandoned house, watching supernatural with bowser the kitty whilst eating a Turkish sandusky and laughing at the woofmen outside. You're living my dream, bud  shine on you gravy diamond
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#
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Sep 2, 2016 00:08
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- The Protagonist
- Jun 29, 2009
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The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.
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hey bud I know how ya feel, I've been a member of this ol brotherhood, the homeless brigade
I stopped taking those pills and quit my job to focus on becomin a vampire full time and even tally my savings ran Out and I was asked to leave my home, luckily there wS a very cool abandoned house down the block so I just packed up my lil hand carved wolf figurines and dream journals and climbed a tree to get in thru a second story window
Do you have any anbandonex houses in your area?
First order of business is finding a comfortable bed. I tried to use a slightly comfortable dresser but it wasn't even really slightly comfortable and after day two of lying across this thing I had pains and couldt bend over to tie my shoes, so I started wearin crocs and found a new bed
It's risky business, trusting mattresses or cushions you find in abandoned houses. For some reason the sight of a lil loveseat in a abandoned house makes people either rip it to bitties or piss all over it or set it on fire and laugh at the flames. I lucked out, though. I found a lil couchie and it wasn't really ripped at all, no burns, and when I sniffed it I couldn't really smell anything.
Now keep in mind, the whole place had a sort of skunk ape smell anyway, but piss is a unique smell. I pulled some drapes off a window and threw em in the corner and pissed on them. Lately I'd been drinking Andrew Jacksons, which is coffee (light & sweet) and 97℅ isopropyl alcohol, which makes your piss distinctly powerful in the stank department. I sniffed the drapes and compared it to the couchie, and decided the cushies were piss free. I put the drapes in the basement in case I decided to clean them one day (there were a bunch of Amway cleaning supplies in the basement along with Herbalife products, lol no wonder this retards house was foreclosed upon) and I got some well deserved sleep on my new bed. It enveloped my body like a hug from a fat mama. It was amazing. Like a big cat bed but for a man.
I made some good friends in the house, all cats. Some were friendlier than others. Familiars of local witches, I assume. I asked and I asked but they never yielded any of their secrets. But I shared my turkey sammlers with them and we became busom buddies.
If you come across cats, or things that look like cats but with pointy beaks and tiny manhands, they're called racoons btw, make sure you share nourishments with them. They'll be your best friends, small helpers who keep away the bitey rats and warn you of approaching van helsings.
That's another thing: since I assume like me you threw away your prospects and future for the hopes of becoming an undead, your new enemy isn't pushy Jewish girlfriends or moms with advice or angry drivers with red sweaty faces and threatening voices, not anymote. Now, you need to look out for van helsings. They can sniff out the paranatural like a dog sniffs out a other dogs rear end in a top hat, and they'll be gunning for you. They accuse you of poo poo like "trespassing" and "squatting" and "being a nuisance by sitting in their driveway at night stealing their electricity to charge your laptop so you can watch that show with the handsome brothers in the impala who fight ghosts and hellcats and christs" and "lowering their property value" which is all code for "im jealous as gently caress that you're pursuing your dream and are free in all the ways I shall never be" and they won't hesitate to dispatch their lackeys to come and bust your onions.
Around my neck of the woods, there are no woods because it's a city. New york city. And it's run by a gang of werewolves called the NYPD. These woofers are natural allies of the van helsings because they hate witches and vampires and they're all too scared to admit that cocks are honestly pretty cool and there's nothing wrong with liking then or thinking about them and maybe touching on them if the other guy is ok with it. They repress their dickthoughts andtake out their aggression by "ruff"ing up the local poors and crazies and locking you away in magickal jails where your powers stop working and you can't become a gas and escape through vents like you can at home.
I dunno where you are, but odds are the brotherhood of the wolf has some stronghold in your woodneck too. State poopertroopers, sheriffs, Paul blarts, all woofmen And all ready to gently caress your poo poo up just because.
Basically what I'm getting at is you need to get powerful. Not just physically, although yes, use this free time to do push-ups and eat only boars head low sodium additive free cold cuts on freshly baked Italian bread with LITE mayo and diet Arizona tea. Think about it - when you finally turn into a vampire, you're gonna look the same forever. That gunt? Never goin away. No matter how much you run around in the guise of a white wolf at night, and no matter how many healthy non-smokers you feed upon, you can't lose weight. You go beneath the ground at the end of the day, and when you rise at night, all that fat is back. You can only drink the blood of swamp critters like Tom cruise did and get kinda gaunt but it's like skinny fat, not true thinness. So get healthy before you turn.
But when I saw powerful, I mean learn yourself some good spells. Make some potions. Buy a chemistry set and grow some herbs and see if you can grow your dick bigger or make a cat chsnge into a English woman (don't do both at the same time tho, trust me). Break into an occult new age book store and steal every necronomicon you can see. Take some gemstones too, you can trade them to stinky girls with braids in exchange for having them suck on that big ol dick you grew with your potions. Burn poo poo with your mind. Start with the amway products in your basement, they're usually flammable which makes it easier.
Good luck with your transition, Op. It didn't work out for me because NYPD woofmen caught me and brought me to Azkaban and their alchemist force-fed me brain potions and a wizard gave me shock treatment and now I'm not crazy and I have a home and career. But my heart will always be in that abandoned house, watching supernatural with bowser the kitty whilst eating a Turkish sandusky and laughing at the woofmen outside. You're living my dream, bud shine on you gravy diamond
I read this and I liked it
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#
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Sep 2, 2016 00:22
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- Athropos
- May 4, 2004
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"Skeletons are Number One! Flesh just slows you down."
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Eat expired sausage left in your car
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#
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Sep 2, 2016 00:25
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- JiveHonky
- May 12, 2001
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by zen death robot
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Grimey Drawer
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>Offer to fellate larger thug for my freedom.
you get down on your knees and reach for the larger highwaymans trousers.
The large thug appears very confused and looks to the smaller one for help.
The smaller thug seems to be the one in charge!
You have sucked the wrong dick!
turn to page 38
The small Highwayman has stabbed you through the left ear, killing you instantly.
The End
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#
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Sep 2, 2016 00:36
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- ziasquinn
- Jan 1, 2006
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Fallen Rib
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Sounds rough OP. Are you still atheist or did you call on God when you had no one to call on.?
Oh good it's that guy who calls every poster op
It's a really good troll cause it's zero effort and upsets me greatly
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Sep 2, 2016 00:43
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- Ork of Fiction
- Jul 22, 2013
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I read this and I liked it
Ya.
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#
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Sep 2, 2016 00:52
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- ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
- Jan 21, 2007
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hey bud I know how ya feel, I've been a member of this ol brotherhood, the homeless brigade
I stopped taking those pills and quit my job to focus on becomin a vampire full time and even tally my savings ran Out and I was asked to leave my home, luckily there wS a very cool abandoned house down the block so I just packed up my lil hand carved wolf figurines and dream journals and climbed a tree to get in thru a second story window
Do you have any anbandonex houses in your area?
First order of business is finding a comfortable bed. I tried to use a slightly comfortable dresser but it wasn't even really slightly comfortable and after day two of lying across this thing I had pains and couldt bend over to tie my shoes, so I started wearin crocs and found a new bed
It's risky business, trusting mattresses or cushions you find in abandoned houses. For some reason the sight of a lil loveseat in a abandoned house makes people either rip it to bitties or piss all over it or set it on fire and laugh at the flames. I lucked out, though. I found a lil couchie and it wasn't really ripped at all, no burns, and when I sniffed it I couldn't really smell anything.
Now keep in mind, the whole place had a sort of skunk ape smell anyway, but piss is a unique smell. I pulled some drapes off a window and threw em in the corner and pissed on them. Lately I'd been drinking Andrew Jacksons, which is coffee (light & sweet) and 97℅ isopropyl alcohol, which makes your piss distinctly powerful in the stank department. I sniffed the drapes and compared it to the couchie, and decided the cushies were piss free. I put the drapes in the basement in case I decided to clean them one day (there were a bunch of Amway cleaning supplies in the basement along with Herbalife products, lol no wonder this retards house was foreclosed upon) and I got some well deserved sleep on my new bed. It enveloped my body like a hug from a fat mama. It was amazing. Like a big cat bed but for a man.
I made some good friends in the house, all cats. Some were friendlier than others. Familiars of local witches, I assume. I asked and I asked but they never yielded any of their secrets. But I shared my turkey sammlers with them and we became busom buddies.
If you come across cats, or things that look like cats but with pointy beaks and tiny manhands, they're called racoons btw, make sure you share nourishments with them. They'll be your best friends, small helpers who keep away the bitey rats and warn you of approaching van helsings.
That's another thing: since I assume like me you threw away your prospects and future for the hopes of becoming an undead, your new enemy isn't pushy Jewish girlfriends or moms with advice or angry drivers with red sweaty faces and threatening voices, not anymote. Now, you need to look out for van helsings. They can sniff out the paranatural like a dog sniffs out a other dogs rear end in a top hat, and they'll be gunning for you. They accuse you of poo poo like "trespassing" and "squatting" and "being a nuisance by sitting in their driveway at night stealing their electricity to charge your laptop so you can watch that show with the handsome brothers in the impala who fight ghosts and hellcats and christs" and "lowering their property value" which is all code for "im jealous as gently caress that you're pursuing your dream and are free in all the ways I shall never be" and they won't hesitate to dispatch their lackeys to come and bust your onions.
Around my neck of the woods, there are no woods because it's a city. New york city. And it's run by a gang of werewolves called the NYPD. These woofers are natural allies of the van helsings because they hate witches and vampires and they're all too scared to admit that cocks are honestly pretty cool and there's nothing wrong with liking then or thinking about them and maybe touching on them if the other guy is ok with it. They repress their dickthoughts andtake out their aggression by "ruff"ing up the local poors and crazies and locking you away in magickal jails where your powers stop working and you can't become a gas and escape through vents like you can at home.
I dunno where you are, but odds are the brotherhood of the wolf has some stronghold in your woodneck too. State poopertroopers, sheriffs, Paul blarts, all woofmen And all ready to gently caress your poo poo up just because.
Basically what I'm getting at is you need to get powerful. Not just physically, although yes, use this free time to do push-ups and eat only boars head low sodium additive free cold cuts on freshly baked Italian bread with LITE mayo and diet Arizona tea. Think about it - when you finally turn into a vampire, you're gonna look the same forever. That gunt? Never goin away. No matter how much you run around in the guise of a white wolf at night, and no matter how many healthy non-smokers you feed upon, you can't lose weight. You go beneath the ground at the end of the day, and when you rise at night, all that fat is back. You can only drink the blood of swamp critters like Tom cruise did and get kinda gaunt but it's like skinny fat, not true thinness. So get healthy before you turn.
But when I saw powerful, I mean learn yourself some good spells. Make some potions. Buy a chemistry set and grow some herbs and see if you can grow your dick bigger or make a cat chsnge into a English woman (don't do both at the same time tho, trust me). Break into an occult new age book store and steal every necronomicon you can see. Take some gemstones too, you can trade them to stinky girls with braids in exchange for having them suck on that big ol dick you grew with your potions. Burn poo poo with your mind. Start with the amway products in your basement, they're usually flammable which makes it easier.
Good luck with your transition, Op. It didn't work out for me because NYPD woofmen caught me and brought me to Azkaban and their alchemist force-fed me brain potions and a wizard gave me shock treatment and now I'm not crazy and I have a home and career. But my heart will always be in that abandoned house, watching supernatural with bowser the kitty whilst eating a Turkish sandusky and laughing at the woofmen outside. You're living my dream, bud shine on you gravy diamond
same, except for the part about sucking cock
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Sep 2, 2016 00:59
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- Vim Fuego
- Jun 1, 2000
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I LITERALLY SLEEP IN A RACING CAR. DO YOU?
p.s. ask me about my subscription mattress
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Ultra Carp
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Did you look behind the couch op?
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Sep 2, 2016 01:05
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- ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
- Jan 21, 2007
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holy poo poo carmant is a terrible person and poster
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#
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Sep 2, 2016 01:12
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- Laurenz
- Dec 21, 2015
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They call him little janny hotpockets. He was terrific, he was the best, and he did it for free too.
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live in a van
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#
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Sep 2, 2016 01:17
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- His Purple Majesty
- Dec 12, 2008
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remove the t from your user name and you'll be all set
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#
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Sep 2, 2016 01:59
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- Glasgow Kiss
- Dec 12, 2007
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Oh, put that thing away, Samurai. We all know what's going to happen. You'll swing your sword, I'll fly away, and probably say something like, "I'll be back, Samurai!" And then I'll flutter over the horizon and we probably won't see each for... about a week. And then we'll do the same thing again.
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Eat expired sausage left in your car
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Sep 2, 2016 02:15
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- The Twinkie Czar
- Dec 31, 2004
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I went for super stud.
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Very hard to get a job when you have no address and are unwashed and grizzled looking due to homelessness. And very hard to get a home without a job.
Many people say that when you're destined to be homeless you should spend your last money on a gym membership. But before you do that you need to get a PO box. The post office is usually pretty cheap but places like the UPS Store will let you use their street address without listing a box number. You can get a job with a bogus address. But when you're seeking benefits and behind on bills suddenly everybody insists on doing business by mail.
And don't just walk in and immediately pay for a gym membership like some fatcat. Use a free trial week at every gym in town until a place you tried weeks ago calls offering a reduced rate.
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#
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Sep 2, 2016 02:22
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- Gatekeeper
- Aug 3, 2003
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He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.
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lol at paying for a mailbox, they're literall EVERWHURE
it takes like two days tops of scopin a home to figure out if its person is there at mailtime, wtf are you so busy doin that you cant peep at mailboxes?? like literally it's
1. play FBI and surveille the mailbox (hit up thriftstore for costume}
2 make sure it doesn't have a key and is just a nice old style mailbox with a flappy face and a lil bonerflag
3. Sit in the stoop (keep wearin costume if you want I mean it's YOURS now, you OWN it) and smile at the poster and accept letters. Flip thru for yours, and be a friend/helper and put the rest in the box for the mailbox's person to get their bills n stuff. They did you an unwitting solid, so the law is you must do a solid back that they are unwitting of. Or to.
and rotflmao at gym memberships, only gym you need is the JUBGLE GYM!!! do you know where you are??? You in the JUBGLE baby!!! time to exerciiiiiiijjjiiiiiise!!!! during surveillance down time, take off your fox Mulder coat and do some pull ups and swing from ring thingy to ring thingy. On "leg day" give lil kids that Superman ride thing where you lay down and lift them up in the air with your feet. Ask progressively older childs until you are comfortable with your thighs.
This isn't even magical knowledge it's literally common sebse
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#
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Sep 2, 2016 02:35
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- Orkin Mang
- Nov 1, 2007
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by FactsAreUseless
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in all seriousness op, who gives a loving poo poo?
bit impolite. genesplicer will hear of this
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#
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Sep 2, 2016 02:35
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- GolfHole
- Feb 26, 2004
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remove the t from your user name and you'll be all set
good
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#
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Sep 2, 2016 02:47
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- Smythe
- Oct 12, 2003
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i like the married with children thread lol
me too. did something bad happen to that guy since that thread? i was glad to see he got on his feet.
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#
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Sep 2, 2016 02:53
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- Smythe
- Oct 12, 2003
-
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hey bud I know how ya feel, I've been a member of this ol brotherhood, the homeless brigade
I stopped taking those pills and quit my job to focus on becomin a vampire full time and even tally my savings ran Out and I was asked to leave my home, luckily there wS a very cool abandoned house down the block so I just packed up my lil hand carved wolf figurines and dream journals and climbed a tree to get in thru a second story window
Do you have any anbandonex houses in your area?
First order of business is finding a comfortable bed. I tried to use a slightly comfortable dresser but it wasn't even really slightly comfortable and after day two of lying across this thing I had pains and couldt bend over to tie my shoes, so I started wearin crocs and found a new bed
It's risky business, trusting mattresses or cushions you find in abandoned houses. For some reason the sight of a lil loveseat in a abandoned house makes people either rip it to bitties or piss all over it or set it on fire and laugh at the flames. I lucked out, though. I found a lil couchie and it wasn't really ripped at all, no burns, and when I sniffed it I couldn't really smell anything.
Now keep in mind, the whole place had a sort of skunk ape smell anyway, but piss is a unique smell. I pulled some drapes off a window and threw em in the corner and pissed on them. Lately I'd been drinking Andrew Jacksons, which is coffee (light & sweet) and 97℅ isopropyl alcohol, which makes your piss distinctly powerful in the stank department. I sniffed the drapes and compared it to the couchie, and decided the cushies were piss free. I put the drapes in the basement in case I decided to clean them one day (there were a bunch of Amway cleaning supplies in the basement along with Herbalife products, lol no wonder this retards house was foreclosed upon) and I got some well deserved sleep on my new bed. It enveloped my body like a hug from a fat mama. It was amazing. Like a big cat bed but for a man.
I made some good friends in the house, all cats. Some were friendlier than others. Familiars of local witches, I assume. I asked and I asked but they never yielded any of their secrets. But I shared my turkey sammlers with them and we became busom buddies.
If you come across cats, or things that look like cats but with pointy beaks and tiny manhands, they're called racoons btw, make sure you share nourishments with them. They'll be your best friends, small helpers who keep away the bitey rats and warn you of approaching van helsings.
That's another thing: since I assume like me you threw away your prospects and future for the hopes of becoming an undead, your new enemy isn't pushy Jewish girlfriends or moms with advice or angry drivers with red sweaty faces and threatening voices, not anymote. Now, you need to look out for van helsings. They can sniff out the paranatural like a dog sniffs out a other dogs rear end in a top hat, and they'll be gunning for you. They accuse you of poo poo like "trespassing" and "squatting" and "being a nuisance by sitting in their driveway at night stealing their electricity to charge your laptop so you can watch that show with the handsome brothers in the impala who fight ghosts and hellcats and christs" and "lowering their property value" which is all code for "im jealous as gently caress that you're pursuing your dream and are free in all the ways I shall never be" and they won't hesitate to dispatch their lackeys to come and bust your onions.
Around my neck of the woods, there are no woods because it's a city. New york city. And it's run by a gang of werewolves called the NYPD. These woofers are natural allies of the van helsings because they hate witches and vampires and they're all too scared to admit that cocks are honestly pretty cool and there's nothing wrong with liking then or thinking about them and maybe touching on them if the other guy is ok with it. They repress their dickthoughts andtake out their aggression by "ruff"ing up the local poors and crazies and locking you away in magickal jails where your powers stop working and you can't become a gas and escape through vents like you can at home.
I dunno where you are, but odds are the brotherhood of the wolf has some stronghold in your woodneck too. State poopertroopers, sheriffs, Paul blarts, all woofmen And all ready to gently caress your poo poo up just because.
Basically what I'm getting at is you need to get powerful. Not just physically, although yes, use this free time to do push-ups and eat only boars head low sodium additive free cold cuts on freshly baked Italian bread with LITE mayo and diet Arizona tea. Think about it - when you finally turn into a vampire, you're gonna look the same forever. That gunt? Never goin away. No matter how much you run around in the guise of a white wolf at night, and no matter how many healthy non-smokers you feed upon, you can't lose weight. You go beneath the ground at the end of the day, and when you rise at night, all that fat is back. You can only drink the blood of swamp critters like Tom cruise did and get kinda gaunt but it's like skinny fat, not true thinness. So get healthy before you turn.
But when I saw powerful, I mean learn yourself some good spells. Make some potions. Buy a chemistry set and grow some herbs and see if you can grow your dick bigger or make a cat chsnge into a English woman (don't do both at the same time tho, trust me). Break into an occult new age book store and steal every necronomicon you can see. Take some gemstones too, you can trade them to stinky girls with braids in exchange for having them suck on that big ol dick you grew with your potions. Burn poo poo with your mind. Start with the amway products in your basement, they're usually flammable which makes it easier.
Good luck with your transition, Op. It didn't work out for me because NYPD woofmen caught me and brought me to Azkaban and their alchemist force-fed me brain potions and a wizard gave me shock treatment and now I'm not crazy and I have a home and career. But my heart will always be in that abandoned house, watching supernatural with bowser the kitty whilst eating a Turkish sandusky and laughing at the woofmen outside. You're living my dream, bud shine on you gravy diamond
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Sep 2, 2016 02:59
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- Crazyeyes
- Nov 5, 2009
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If I were human, I believe my response would be: 'go to hell'.
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Have you tried... not being homeless?
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Sep 2, 2016 03:03
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- reallivedinosaur
- Jun 13, 2012
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Ogdober subrise! XDDD
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just say to yourself "jobs are for knobs and houses are for louses"
like that greek fox that had no grapes
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Sep 2, 2016 03:16
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- VendaGoat
- Nov 1, 2005
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There's no place like home, there's no place like home, there's no place like....
Oh.
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Sep 2, 2016 03:19
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- Iron Prince
- Aug 28, 2005
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Buglord
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get a load of this retard
This but directed at GBS
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Sep 2, 2016 03:23
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- Robot Pride
- Aug 2, 2010
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by exmarx
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"3 hots and a cot" as they used to call it, beats starving on the streets
look at this nerd that has never lived in any kind of detention center
pro-tip: living on the streets is a million times better than jail/prison
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Sep 2, 2016 04:07
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- gimme the GOD DAMN candy
- Jul 1, 2007
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i was homeless for about a year but thankfully there are way more options if you are a veteran compared to a regular homeless person
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Sep 2, 2016 04:21
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 3, 2024 18:00
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- Rutibex
- Sep 9, 2001
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by Fluffdaddy
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look at this nerd that has never lived in any kind of detention center
pro-tip: living on the streets is a million times better than jail/prison
living on the streets in a modern society is super easy. humans are scavenger animals, and a city contains a lot more food than the African savannah
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Sep 2, 2016 04:22
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Sep 1, 2016 23:47
radiating from this post.
