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Nathilus posted:That item has already been taken. Here's a penis pump that will make your dick larger but not also upgrade your girth, so it will be hilariously skinny and streched out looking. STILL AN UPGRADE
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Sep 4, 2016 04:14
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Tom Gorman posted:STILL AN UPGRADE whoops. Well what can I say, nobody's perfect. We're all just human and make mistakes sometimes, right guys? Heh. Hahahahaha. BwahahahahahahahaHAAAAAAAAAA!
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Sep 4, 2016 04:17
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What could I get for a fingercut that hurts and takes a while to heal but then is good as new?
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Sep 4, 2016 09:03
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Can I just use your restroom please
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Sep 4, 2016 09:23
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I want an endless supply of edible razor blades. From here on out I ain't gonna eat nothing but razors!
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Sep 4, 2016 09:33
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RandomPauI posted:What could I get for a fingercut that hurts and takes a while to heal but then is good as new? You seem to be missing the core deal we offer here. A miracle for a curse. That's it. No naturally healing injuries will be tendered nor accepted. THE DOG HOUSE posted:Can I just use your restroom please It's that way but beware it's Golgatha back there. Ork of Fiction posted:I want an endless supply of edible razor blades. From here on out I ain't gonna eat nothing but razors! You're actually at the wrong place. You're looking for the cenobites. Luckily I happen to know those guys and happen to have a puzzle box laying around. Keep in mind this isn't my normal line of business, so no guarantees. Otherwise enjoy.
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Sep 4, 2016 13:05
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International Monetary Fund (IMF) AfricaRegional Office Benin Du Republic ATTENTION, THIS IS THE RECEIPT OF YOUR EMAIL, ORDER FROM THE IMF OFFICE HERE, IN RESPECT WITH THE PROVISION ACT OF DECREE FBI AUTHORITY CONSTITUTION;I AM DIRECTED TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR INTERNATIONAL CERTIFIED BANK DRAFT" TO THE TUNE OF $2.4 MILLION US DOLLARS ONLY HAVE VERIFICATION AND CONFIRMATIONS ARE CORRECT. THEREFORE, WE ARE HAPPY TO INFORM YOU THAT ARRANGEMENTS HAVE BEEN CONCLUDED TO AFFECT YOUR DELIVERY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AND IN OUR BID TO TRANSPARENCY. YOUR SKEPTICISM IS UNDERSTANDABLE AND NOT WITHOUT MERIT. THE REQUIRED FEE OF $95.00 DOLLARS FOR THE IMF INTERNATIONAL CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE CAN BE SEND THROUGH WESTERN UNION OR MONEY GRAM INTERNATIONAL MONEY TRANSFER WITH THE BELOW STATED DETAILS; PAYMENT DETAILS 1. RECEIVER NAME: =======EMMA OKECHI 2. COUNTRY; =============BENIN REPUBLIC. 3. CITY; =================COTONOU 4. QUESTION=============WHEN 5. ANSWER: =============TODAY 6. AMOUNT: $95.00 DOLLARS FORWARD THE PAYMENT CONTROL NUMBER, SENDER AS SOON AS YOU FINISH MAKING THE PAYMENT, DO NOT HESITATE TO EMAIL ME WITH THE PAYMENT INFORMATION ON MY EMAIL AS STATED BELOW, SO THAT I CAN FACILITATE THE RELEASE AND DISPATCH OF YOUR INTERNATIONAL CERTIFIED BANK DRAFT TO YOUR HOME ADDRESS. THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU AS I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR EMAIL WITH THE PAYMENT INFORMATION. CONGRATULATIONS YOURS IN SERVICE MR.MIKE GODWIN INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND (IMF) AFRICA REGIONAL+229-6855-0765
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Sep 4, 2016 13:11
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Angry Birds Suicide posted:International Monetary Fund (IMF) AfricaRegional Office Benin Du Republic You are turned into a nigerian robot for attempting to scam the proprietor.
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Sep 4, 2016 13:15
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I would like a mummified monkey's paw, please.
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Sep 4, 2016 13:17
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Nigmaetcetera posted:I would like a mummified monkey's paw, please. (not)Lucien seems either extremely distracted or moderately stoned as he browses through display cases and drawers searching for your item. He breezily hands it to you and ushers you out of the shop. It's not until you are outside and the shop is utterly gone that you realize what you hold isn't a monkey's paw at all. It appears to be a hand of glory. (BONUS GET!)
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Sep 4, 2016 13:27
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Nathilus posted:
I start an ebay store selling my self-replicating Spielbergian masturbation plushies and pinch your profits. But things quickly get out of hand and soon a cringey fandom is formed. I learn an import lesson about hubris at a terrible cost.
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Sep 4, 2016 16:14
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There was a movie I LOVED back in the 80's. Can I get a sequel please?
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Sep 4, 2016 16:18
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I would like a quaint country cottage vacation home on a wooded lot in a national forest, perhaps built near the abandoned insane asylum, by the haunted lake, on top the cursed Indian burial ground, at the CIA secret occult research facility, where those college student vanished last year, vampires, old man whither's haunted amusement park. The curse could be "nothing spooky happens" and I have to pay property tax on a small boring house
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Sep 4, 2016 19:47
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I want a hot pretzel that is filled with a thin hot dog.
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Sep 4, 2016 19:48
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Nathilus posted:(not)Lucien seems either extremely distracted or moderately stoned as he browses through display cases and drawers searching for your item. He breezily hands it to you and ushers you out of the shop. Sweet those aren't cursed at all, time to go rob a bank
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Sep 4, 2016 20:00
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I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce, and mustard, and ... I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't wanna turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any more weird surprises, you got it?
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Sep 4, 2016 20:03
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Pththya-lyi posted:I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce, and mustard, and ... I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't wanna turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any more weird surprises, you got it? *Eats the sandwich, fires out a vending machine* *CHA-CHUG*
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Sep 4, 2016 20:06
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i'm only interested in vintage lego sets op, watchagat
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Sep 4, 2016 20:23
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Nathilus posted:Your mouth fills with poo poo and your ears overflow with vomit for attempting to molest the proprietor.
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Sep 4, 2016 21:14
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Warm und Fuzzy posted:There was a movie I LOVED back in the 80's. Can I get a sequel please? Sorry one item per customer. naem posted:I would like a quaint country cottage vacation home on a wooded lot in a national forest, perhaps built near the abandoned insane asylum, by the haunted lake, on top the cursed Indian burial ground, at the CIA secret occult research facility, where those college student vanished last year, vampires, old man whither's haunted amusement park. The quaint cottage is 10 minutes from highway 1 and the property taxes are 60k a year. It is painted a disturbing shade of puke green. ClamdestineBoyster posted:I want a hot pretzel that is filled with a thin hot dog. The dog howls with pain, the pretzel howls with HATE. God knows what will happen if you attempt to eat this. Nigmaetcetera posted:Sweet those aren't cursed at all, time to go rob a bank Yeah no curse whatsoever thats why its a bonus get. Pththya-lyi posted:I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce, and mustard, and ... I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't wanna turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any more weird surprises, you got it? I recommend "which witch", which will be there when you leave this store and turn around to see from whence you have come. The Protagonist posted:i'm only interested in vintage lego sets op, watchagat The box is huge and seems to include an entire lego town set, circa the mid nineties. It includes a greater than usual variety and number of lego townsfolk. Once you've put it together, you begin to understand the catch. The lego men instantly come alive and go about their business, and their business is not normal. A clown lego man keeps luring others into hidden places from which they do not return. Husbands cheat on wives, wives murder hudbands, and on the streets fights and slayings break out over pointless arguments. Mere anarchy is loosed upon the lego world. When you wake up in the morning, the clown, who you have nicknamed john lego gracy, is six inches from your face, chilling on your nightstand. Staring at you.
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Sep 5, 2016 02:24
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do you sell puppies? i want a new pug 
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Sep 5, 2016 03:15
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Gatekeeper posted:do you sell puppies? i want a new pug (not)Lucien seems to have a soft spot for canines. Something about lifeforms that correctly know their place in the grand scheme of things. You are led to a very lush and humane kennel area with all sorts of nornal-looking, well-behaved puppies, along with a few not so normal hellpups. Soon you are happily on your way home with a pug. But as soon as you get there, you learn the catch. Once in the privacy of your home, away from prying ears, the bright and cheerful pup goes frolicking about its business while murmurring a combination of it's own simple thoughts, dark omens, praise and love for you, and fell knowledge in a raspy, unnerving voice.
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Sep 5, 2016 03:26
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awwwwww 
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Sep 5, 2016 03:34
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man gatekeepers doesn't even suck at all its awesome
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Sep 5, 2016 03:38
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It's all I've ever wanted, for real
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Sep 5, 2016 03:41
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Nathilus posted:I recommend "which witch", which will be there when you leave this store and turn around to see from whence you have come. Wow, and they have milkshakes too! Thanks (not)Lucien!
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Sep 5, 2016 03:46
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Sid Vicious posted:man gatekeepers doesn't even suck at all its awesome If you enjoy having an evilly talking dog that won't talk in front of anyone else and will eventually drive you mad, sure, maybe it's swell.
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Sep 5, 2016 04:19
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My baby is teething and won't stop screaming and drooling. Got anything to make it stop?
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Sep 5, 2016 04:43
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I want a device that closes this thread forever.
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Sep 5, 2016 04:59
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rick and morty did this joke better
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Sep 5, 2016 05:05
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Lucian, Lucian, Lucian, Lucian, you should know.
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Sep 5, 2016 05:06
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Edgar posted:My baby is teething and won't stop screaming and drooling. Got anything to make it stop? You recieve a tonic that is unlabled, with instructions to apply liberally to the child's gums once a week. It works sure as whiskey. But your child then grows gigantic, inhuman, disgusting nosferatu chompers rather than regular teeth. jon joe posted:I want a device that closes this thread forever. You are turned into jon pop for insulting the proprietor. Neurolimal posted:rick and morty did this joke better Tru but I'm no professional just a talented amateur. Falun Bong Refugee posted:Lucian, Lucian, Lucian, Lucian, you should know. o/~ Nathilus fucked around with this message at 05:25 on Sep 5, 2016 |
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Sep 5, 2016 05:23
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Nathilus posted:You are turned into jon pop for insulting the proprietor. Okay, but the thread is still going to be closed forever, right? The sacrifices I make.
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Sep 5, 2016 05:40
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jon joe posted:Okay, but the thread is still going to be closed forever, right? No. Go harass some women or something, jon pop. 
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Sep 5, 2016 05:49
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Nathilus posted:No. Go harass some women or something, jon pop. This wasn't part of the deal. Why isn't my deepest desire for this thread to be closed being fulfilled? False advertising!
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Sep 5, 2016 05:52
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jon joe posted:This wasn't part of the deal. Why isn't my deepest desire for this thread to be closed being fulfilled? False advertising! There's no deal if you come in and harass, assault, or molest the proprietor. Use all your well learned politese or your soul gets lain to waste.
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Sep 5, 2016 05:58
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Nathilus posted:There's no deal if you come in and harass, assault, or molest the proprietor. Use all your well learned politese or your soul gets lain to waste. How is wanting the thread closed forever harassing, assaulting, or molesting the proprietor? Are you and the thread the same thing? You're not even clever enough to close this thread forever and start a new one! Not my fault you can't even come up with good drawbacks. What a terrible store. 1/5 stars.
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Sep 5, 2016 06:02
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Can you make anime real.
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Sep 5, 2016 06:03
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Hello Lucien. I am going into battle and I want your strongest potions
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Sep 5, 2016 06:05
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jon joe posted:How is wanting the thread closed forever harassing, assaulting, or molesting the proprietor? Are you and the thread the same thing? You're not even clever enough to close this thread forever and start a new one! Not my fault you can't even come up with good drawbacks. What a terrible store. 1/5 stars. The devil doesn't react to criticism well. You insulted his shop. This shows not sympathy, courtesy, or taste. There's only one way in which he can be expected to react to such crassness.
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Sep 5, 2016 06:07
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