Nathilus posted:

Potions, being one-time sort of deals, are on special. You get a sweet three pack. One is a white powder suspended ina milky bu clearish liquid. It is labelled "essence of speed" and is presumably really good at making you fast or clean your house while devolving you into a crazy idiot with horrible skin issues. It ia highly addictive.

The second is called "hero's ambrosia" and looks suspiciously like semen. Hint: it's semen. Works as advertised though an makes you herculean for a limited time. The bottle is huge though, about the size of a bottle of brandy. You'd have to chug a LOT of semen.

The final potion is a tiny vial of purple liquid with a half-gram of compact, gnarly looking plant matter suspended serenely within. "the golden nugget" is its cheeky label. The powers of a lunatic, tripping-balls god is locked within, but what is the price of such powers? (invokes perma-fried)