I only write the endings to movies, but I'm VERY good at it.

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > I only write the endings to movies, but I'm VERY good at it.

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

*protagonist dusts off his hands*
"well that wraps that mystery up!"

# ¿ Sep 6, 2016 13:06

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# ¿ May 2, 2024 17:24

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

joke_explainer posted:

i dunno, it's actually not that bad... ends the movie on a more upbeat note:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsaJVMO8vNE

found that one on the cutting room floor though, guess they took your advice

never seen the movie but when I got to the 2 min mark i lmao'd

# ¿ Sep 6, 2016 13:58

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

samuel L jackson walks in during post-credit scene

"sorry i just forgot my coat"

# ¿ Sep 6, 2016 14:21

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

wolverine sails up to the edge of the water and discoveres it's all an elaborate set

# ¿ Sep 6, 2016 14:26

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

FactsAreUseless posted:

Jim Carrey shows up at the end of Justice League Part 2 and everyone wonders if he's supposed to be the Riddler from Batman Forever or if it's just Jim Carrey playing himself or what the deal is, and all the characters are making a huge loving thing out of it, like they keep talking loudly about how happy they are that he's here, but again they aren't saying who exactly he's supposed to be.

he's also only credited as himself

# ¿ Sep 6, 2016 14:31

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

the climatic reveal is about to happen when suddenly it spontaneously combusts because it was made out of celluloid

# ¿ Sep 6, 2016 14:35

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

sam neill: where we're going we don't need eyes to see

*enjoys a cool sensory deprivation tank experience*

# ¿ Sep 6, 2016 14:38

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

alnilam posted:

The camera goes close up on each of them in a shaky handheld-cam jackass-style "hi, I'm [character name]" intro, this goes on for an hour and finally when they're all introduced Johnny Knoxville says "and you just got kredited!!"

# ¿ Sep 6, 2016 15:13

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

Heartbroken 2Twice posted:

you know that bit at the end of the movie where it says "the end"? well, i invented that. but everybody cottoned on pretty quick. you know, "fin", all that crap. one day i took a look up at the screen and thought "what if the end.... wasn't the end?". yeah, that's right. sequels. all me

'fin' is a spiritual sequel to 'the end' since youre the copyright holder

# ¿ Sep 6, 2016 16:20

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

I Was The Fury posted:

Before I got fired from the writing team for titanic, the door scene was originally:
"Rose: I'll never let you go, Jack.
Jack: Thank you.
the Titanic 2, which was launched 2 hours after the original titanic pulls up alongside them
T2 captain: hey you two, need a lift?
Jack and Rose: you bet, mister!
Jack and Rose board the ship and enter the ballroom, where every character is singing and dancing for the final musical number: Tubthumping, as performed by Chumbawumba. The Heart of the Ocean necklace magically lifts in front of a spotlight and begins spinning, bathing the area in a "disco ball" effect
END SCENE"

not ashamed to admit i cried during this scene

# ¿ Sep 6, 2016 16:33

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

at the end of the movie iron man shoots one of three different colored beams based on local reviews

# ¿ Sep 6, 2016 17:04

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

Heartbroken 2Twice posted:

diary of richard 'Richie Яich' linklater, age 42
day 1: today i started work on a movie. it's about a boy.
year 1: still working on the movie
year 2: still working on the movie
year 3: still working on the movie
year 4: working on the movie, still
year 5: the cast and crew had an intervention today asking me to stop working on the movie. still working on the movie
year 6: still working on the movie
year 7: took a break this year and made another movie. still working on the movie
year 8: still working on the movie. this is getting a little weird
year 9: still working on the movie plus i pray for death
year 10: still working on the movie
year 11: i guess everybody on set already figured this out and i feel like a huge idiot. guess i forgot to buy an ending for the screenplay. explains everything. gently caress it

# ¿ Sep 7, 2016 12:08

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

our hero falls down to the floor, seemingly beaten
Tubthumpin by Chumbawumba stars playing
our hero is still laying there
director of the movie walks out and ask "is there a doctor in the audience?!"

# ¿ Sep 7, 2016 21:11

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

I Was The Fury posted:

A movie that is literally just a music video for Tubthumpin by Chumbawumba

Jodorowsky's Tubthumpin by Chumbawumba

# ¿ Sep 7, 2016 21:44

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

misty mountaintop posted:

Perfect.

# ¿ Sep 8, 2016 13:48

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

the secretary had a girlfriend

# ¿ Sep 11, 2016 18:14

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# ¿ May 2, 2024 17:24

Ahundredbux: The right to bear arms

garbage owl posted:

Not sure but it should definitely close with Tubthumpin by Chumbawumba

# ¿ Sep 12, 2016 08:59

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > I only write the endings to movies, but I'm VERY good at it.