- alnilam
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POLICE SERGEANT: We managed to find a photograph of the guy who did the crimes, Gunther.
GUNTHER: Enough with the chit-chat, sergeant! I've been working this case for five years. I deserve to know!
POLICE SERGEANT shows GUNTHER the photograph. It is a photograph of GUNTHER.
GUNTHER: Nooooooooo!
[FIN]
*basketball bounces in slow motion off of great white sharks nose and miraculously bounces into the hoop just as time expires, scoreboard shows that Amity Island wins the game by 1 point*
Becky: "omg Jaws 5 we did it! we won the big game!"
*visiting teams coach slams his clipboard down on the ground in disgust as the enormous shark begins flapping around on the floor snapping its mouth shut on various visiting players, blood begins spraying from their injuries and coating the floor*
Travis: "Becky we did it!"
*spray of blood almost makes Travis slip and fall as he runs to his big sister Becky to give her a hug, behind him Jaws slides easily across the gym floor and consumes yet another person, credits begin to roll as the camera pans out, Chumbawumba's Tubthumper begins to play as the screen fades to black*
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Sep 6, 2016 13:38
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May 2, 2024 21:08
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- alnilam
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The End... Or Is It?
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Sep 6, 2016 13:38
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- alnilam
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I haven't seen Chinatown so I don't want to ruin it by watching the ending but I'm assuming this is good and funny
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Sep 6, 2016 13:39
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- alnilam
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*every single character from every superhero movie, comic, and tv show comes in for a HUGE post-credits scene*
The camera goes close up on each of them in a shaky handheld-cam jackass-style "hi, I'm [character name]" intro, this goes on for an hour and finally when they're all introduced Johnny Knoxville says "and you just got kredited!!"
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Sep 6, 2016 14:41
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- alnilam
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Before I got fired from the writing team for titanic, the door scene was originally:
"Rose: I'll never let you go, Jack.
Jack: Thank you.
the Titanic 2, which was launched 2 hours after the original titanic pulls up alongside them
T2 captain: hey you two, need a lift?
Jack and Rose: you bet, mister!
Jack and Rose board the ship and enter the ballroom, where every character is singing and dancing for the final musical number: Tubthumping, as performed by Chumbawumba. The Heart of the Ocean necklace magically lifts in front of a spotlight and begins spinning, bathing the area in a "disco ball" effect
END SCENE"
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Sep 6, 2016 16:52
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- alnilam
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JANET: oh sweetie, i knew you'd remember what I was wearing during our wedding reception, and that the evil robot clone wouldn't know. I'm so glad that's over and the robot clone is dead.
MAX: Me too. Good thing robot clones can't read minds, right? Hahaha
JANET: Sure is. Now let's go -
MAX: to the botanical gardens?
JANET: Yes! Oh you know me so well.
MAX turns to camera and winks, a piece of his face not facing JANET lifts away to reveal cybernetic circuitry underneath. Freeze frame, cue Tubthumper by Chumbawumba, roll credits
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Sep 6, 2016 17:02
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- alnilam
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Captain America turns to the camera. "Do you think Nick Fury survived? Text FURY to 99163."
"Carrier charges may apply," interjects Black Widow
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Sep 6, 2016 17:09
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- alnilam
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Samuel L. Jackson: Welcome back, Godot.
haha
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Sep 8, 2016 12:31
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- alnilam
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He actually drank the poisoned coffee himself and the whole rest of his life was a hallucination of his guilty dying mind in the last moments of his life
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Sep 11, 2016 18:08
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- alnilam
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I call it the "it was all a dream" ending and i don't think it's ever been done before
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Sep 11, 2016 18:09
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May 2, 2024 21:08
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- alnilam
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the detective has followed the killer's trail deep into the woods. his heart pounds, and he jumps at the slightest noise. finally he comes upon a clearing lit by a huge bonfire, and there he sees his long-lost daughter, together with all of the townspeople...and ashton kutcher.
"you got punk'd!" he shouts, and everyone laughs. the detective stands with his hands on his hips, shaking his head and wearing a sportsmanlike "you got me good" smirk. then everyone starts jamming to the closing credits song, which is, of course, "wannabe" by the spice girls
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Sep 14, 2016 14:13
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Sep 6, 2016 13:38
