Are you good at having sex?

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Beef Turret: Jul 9, 2009; by Lowtax

I'm a virgin, OP

# ? Sep 7, 2016 03:20

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# ? May 19, 2024 22:40

Captain Splashback: Jan 1, 2007; BY APPOINTMENT TO HER MAJESTY
QUEEN ELIZABETH II
SPLASHBACK HOLDINGS LTD
PUCKINS AND PRINTERS PURVEYORS

So good, I cum On Demand^TM

# ? Sep 7, 2016 03:20

cloven hoof: Mar 17, 2009

I'm not sure. My partners have orgasms but I don't

. Does that mean I'm good or bad?

# ? Sep 7, 2016 03:39

SEGA Ass Fisting: Feb 15, 2012; KEEP IT TIGHT!

Lady I just got done sexing: You're good... real good

Me: ...the best.

::Joe Walsh's "In the City" plays in background::

# ? Sep 7, 2016 04:09

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Stumbles into thread fresh off probation "HAS ANYONE SAID THAT THE OPS MOM SAYS IM GOOD AT SEX????????"

# ? Sep 7, 2016 04:10

generative grammer: Jul 28, 2010; by FactsAreUseless

no i am not of the savage races

# ? Sep 7, 2016 14:43

Pretty good: Apr 16, 2007

I recently befriended this cute girl at my college and we've been spending a lot of time together (mostly studying) over the last few weeks. She's really funny, friendly and not to mention pretty. So far we really clicked and I think she likes me too.

So a few days ago we were flirting and she texted "If you buy me a burrito and come over I'll have sex with you". I asked her if she was serious and she said "hell yes, bonus points if you make it under 30 minutes". I told her that I was on my way and she just send laughing emojis.

The weather was awful outside (it was really rainy and stormy) but I left the house and bought a burrito from the nearest Mexican fast food place. When I reached her apartment she opened the door and let out the loudest squeal. She was laughing uncontrollably and couldn't even catch her breath. She asked me if I really bought a burrito and stormed the weather just to have sex with her and i told her....well yes I did. She looked at the time and continued laughing about the fact I was so fast. I went inside and asked her if we're gonna have sex and she looked at me like I'm crazy. She said "I knew you were weird but you're such a freak". I told her that she sounded serious over text and she said "I don't get how your brain works, you're a weirdo". She proceeded to eat the burrito and watch TV.

In hindsight my response was a bit impulsive but I'm just annoyed she sees me as this weird guy who will bend over backwards to please her. Now when we text she has this really condescending tone and calls me a freak etc. Did I completely gently caress this up?? How can I make her respect me again?

# ? Sep 7, 2016 15:47

extra stout: Feb 24, 2005; ISILDUR's ERR

sinking belle posted:

I recently befriended this cute girl at my college and we've been spending a lot of time together (mostly studying) over the last few weeks. She's really funny, friendly and not to mention pretty. So far we really clicked and I think she likes me too.

So a few days ago we were flirting and she texted "If you buy me a burrito and come over I'll have sex with you". I asked her if she was serious and she said "hell yes, bonus points if you make it under 30 minutes". I told her that I was on my way and she just send laughing emojis.

The weather was awful outside (it was really rainy and stormy) but I left the house and bought a burrito from the nearest Mexican fast food place. When I reached her apartment she opened the door and let out the loudest squeal. She was laughing uncontrollably and couldn't even catch her breath. She asked me if I really bought a burrito and stormed the weather just to have sex with her and i told her....well yes I did. She looked at the time and continued laughing about the fact I was so fast. I went inside and asked her if we're gonna have sex and she looked at me like I'm crazy. She said "I knew you were weird but you're such a freak". I told her that she sounded serious over text and she said "I don't get how your brain works, you're a weirdo". She proceeded to eat the burrito and watch TV.

In hindsight my response was a bit impulsive but I'm just annoyed she sees me as this weird guy who will bend over backwards to please her. Now when we text she has this really condescending tone and calls me a freak etc. Did I completely gently caress this up?? How can I make her respect me again?

Seems like you got the old bait and switch. Did you get the biggest burrito available? Did you heft it with two hands, not unlike how you would have to carry a heavy computer printer?

# ? Sep 7, 2016 15:51

Jastiger: Oct 11, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

Haha what a bitch.

# ? Sep 7, 2016 16:00

R-Type: Oct 10, 2005; by FactsAreUseless

sinking belle posted:

How can I make her respect me again?

The next burrito you serve to her should be your own. Whether she likes it or not.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Sep 7, 2016 16:18

SEGA Ass Fisting: Feb 15, 2012; KEEP IT TIGHT!

You got played fool. Have you tried not being a desperate turd?

# ? Sep 7, 2016 16:19

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

You can't get your dignity back. Or her respect. But you can lie to all her friends about how she put out for a burrito, and show them the text as proof.

Nobody benefits, but you can be a petty rear end in a top hat, if you want.

# ? Sep 7, 2016 16:25

Dr Strangepants: Nov 26, 2003; Mein F�hrer! I can dance!

That's hilarious, what EN thread did you copy that out of?

# ? Sep 7, 2016 16:52

old beast lunatic: Nov 3, 2004; by Hand Knit

If I was a girl I'd get fat as hell on free burritos.

# ? Sep 7, 2016 17:20

cmndstab: May 20, 2006; Huge Internet Celebrity!

You should send her a text tomorrow saying if she comes and gives you sex in the next 30 minutes (starting the sex obviously because just lol if you don't last longer than 30 minutes) then you'll get her a free burrito. Then after the sex (which definitely lasts longer than 30 minutes like I always do every time I have sex) you should laugh at her and not get her a burrito. The you'll be even!!

# ? Sep 8, 2016 00:12

cmndstab: May 20, 2006; Huge Internet Celebrity!

Even better have a burrito ready but then eat it inf ront of her!!!

# ? Sep 8, 2016 00:13

Cosmik Slop: Oct 9, 2007; What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?

InterFaced posted:

If I was a girl I'd get fat as hell on free burritos.

I don't get how your brain works, you're a weirdo.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 01:29

raton: Jul 28, 2003; by FactsAreUseless

I WOULD SAY THAT I'M O K AT IT O P

# ? Sep 8, 2016 02:59

H.H: Oct 24, 2006; August is the Cruelest Month

sinking belle posted:

I recently befriended this cute girl at my college and we've been spending a lot of time together (mostly studying) over the last few weeks. She's really funny, friendly and not to mention pretty. So far we really clicked and I think she likes me too.

So a few days ago we were flirting and she texted "If you buy me a burrito and come over I'll have sex with you". I asked her if she was serious and she said "hell yes, bonus points if you make it under 30 minutes". I told her that I was on my way and she just send laughing emojis.

The weather was awful outside (it was really rainy and stormy) but I left the house and bought a burrito from the nearest Mexican fast food place. When I reached her apartment she opened the door and let out the loudest squeal. She was laughing uncontrollably and couldn't even catch her breath. She asked me if I really bought a burrito and stormed the weather just to have sex with her and i told her....well yes I did. She looked at the time and continued laughing about the fact I was so fast. I went inside and asked her if we're gonna have sex and she looked at me like I'm crazy. She said "I knew you were weird but you're such a freak". I told her that she sounded serious over text and she said "I don't get how your brain works, you're a weirdo". She proceeded to eat the burrito and watch TV.

In hindsight my response was a bit impulsive but I'm just annoyed she sees me as this weird guy who will bend over backwards to please her. Now when we text she has this really condescending tone and calls me a freak etc. Did I completely gently caress this up?? How can I make her respect me again?

Nice c+p, try inserting a few more SA catchphrases next time to make it less obvious.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 05:32

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# ? May 19, 2024 22:40

defaultluser: Jan 13, 2007; The person can drink sake for the following five reasons. First of all, for the national holiday. Moreover, it fills with the nectar. Finally, for reasons. Next, to heal the dryness of the place. After that, to refuse the future; Fun Shoe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ImRyPymRAM

# ? Sep 13, 2016 14:03

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